


A Double Agent

by VerityGrahams



Series: A Double Agent [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Daddy Snape, F/M, Family, Romance, Severitus, eventual ooc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-03-20 08:53:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 100,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13714269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VerityGrahams/pseuds/VerityGrahams
Summary: This fiction is trying to give Severus Snape a happy ending and honour the double agent life that he lived. What if he had found Peter Pettigrew was the secret keeper. How would things have changed?





	1. Changing Allegiance

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter contains a few excerpts from Deathly Hallows. 
> 
> If you're not about forgiving Snape, don't read and then you won't have to send me a flame. If you want to comment on the quality of my writing, please do, I write fanfiction to get better.
> 
> Please comment and Kudos :)

It was a dreary afternoon in Hogsmeade, overcast, the inhabitants were shy of being outdoors, but that was usual. The Lord Voldemort’s grip on the wizarding world was now quite strong and those daring to stand up to him where getting few and far between, most had become resigned to the new oppression that had gripped their world. Before the great war, Hogsmeade had been a vibrant little country town completely occupied by the wizards and witches. There was no knowing what you might see. Children with their latest magical toys, usually brooms, each trying to outrace their friends, or even eating one of many numerous sweets with rather odd side effects, not unlike the peppermint fancies that would leave smoke coming out of your ears for a while. Joyful witches and wizards would usually be seen coming out of The Three Broomsticks, but there was barely anyone in there anymore, it was almost as dull as The Hogs Head.

Hogsmeade is rather famous for being so close to one of the greatest wizarding schools in the world; Hogwarts, it just so happens that the current Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore was holding interviews for various posts that day and he was holding them in an upper room in The Hogs Head. There were numerous applicants for each post at the moment, presumably because it was widely believed that Dumbledore was the only wizard that Voldemort was ever afraid of, and with him being Headmaster, it was generally believed that Hogwarts was the safest place to be. This meant that there would be an awful lot of candidates to see, a lot that would be refused before even getting to see Albus. There were two candidates that were more important than any others, though Albus didn't know it yet. One of them was only being seen as she was descendent of a great and genuine seer; Cassandra Trelawney, her name was Sybill. Albus saw this as a courtesy, though he was not keen on continuing the subject further at Hogwarts, nor was he all that impressed with Sybill’s gift of foresight. The other was interested in the Defence Against the Dark Arts post; Severus Snape. Dumbledore remembered him from being a student, a gifted boy, however, lured unfortunately to the dark side, and Albus realised that this was Voldemort's attempt at infiltrating Hogwarts. He had applied for the job himself which Albus had declined knowing the ideas that Voldemort would have for the precious young minds that he had a duty of care to. Since then it was very difficult for Albus to keep staff for more than a year, many suspected the job was jinxed, Albus knew.

In fact, Albus knew many things, he knew that if one wanted to be secretive the Hogs Head was not the place to go, far too easy to be overheard in such a quiet unused pub. One thing that he didn’t know was that Albus would hear something in this first interview that needed not to be overheard. Albus had never suspected that Sybill might have genuine visions, her interview had gone appallingly and as Albus was going to close the interview he was shocked by what happened, Sybill went into a trance state, she was stiff as a board, tensed from the tips of her head to her fingers, her voice that had once been airy and mystical was now just as harsh and deep and when she spoke, the words seemed to be a genuine prophecy;

_"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies…."_

Only a moment passed before Sybill was back to her usual airy self and as though nothing had happened. Albus was stunned and what was more Sybill seemed to have no idea what she had done. He, of course, decided to offer her the post, it seemed that she possessed the gift, though she was not aware of it and maybe she would give Albus greater insight. Albus looked into her large be-speckled eyes and saw hope, hope that Voldemort would be vanquished.

Outside the door waiting for his interview was Severus, hearing bits and pieces of the prophecy, hearing the news about a child having the ability to defeat the Dark Lord, he knew he needed to immediately disapperate to give his Lord the news, he always felt misgivings, and a child being the subject sat uneasily for Severus, but this was his family, he must be loyal, he also knew that if The Dark Lord found out, and he had ways, then that would be it, this is the life of a Death Eater, fraught with fear, but once chosen there was no going back. It was for this reason that Albus was never faced with the task of refusing Snape the position. Albus full of hope was blissfully unaware that Voldemort too would hear some of these words.

* * *

Snape reappeared outside a grand and dark looking estate. He wasn't eager to give his lord these words, he knew that the only option would be acting now as the child would be only an infant, they surely would have to remove the threat. Any feelings of disconcertedness had to be dismissed, he must think only of the will of his lord as he added to his uniform the mask he always wore in the presence of his lord. Severus' robes billowed behind him as he strode purposefully towards the gates, an absent wave of his wand and the gates dissolved into smoke, just long enough for him to pass through, solidifying as he walked through to pretentious garden complete with ridiculous white peacocks strutting on the lawns.

'Suits Lucius' thought Snape somewhat snidely. He continued through great wooden doors to a large dining room where Voldemort sat at the head of a table with many masked faces around him. He stood in the entrance, waiting to be called, head bowed submissively.

Voldemort glanced lazily over to his servant. He perceived how tense Severus was feeling, his body stiff, his fist clenched, Voldemort observed that he was almost desperate to serve, but there was a war again on the inside of the man. This usually meant good news, and Voldemort took it that way, Severus had proved himself a great gatherer of information, he proved himself to be quite the useful subject. From the outside, it was clear that this was all he, the dark lord, wanted from his subjects, usefulness, and if this were to pass, then so would his favour, things would be even worse were you to become injurious, failure was rewarded with death. In the Death Eaters minds, it was glamorised, but this was the risk of being in his inner circle, untold favour or perfect destruction. Voldemort nodded at Severus, granting him the room to talk.

"I think this news is best to be shared privately My Lord" Severus spoke evenly, his choice made, the Dark Lord sensed something, not to mention he was a Legillimens, not speaking would be suicidal, his head still bowed slightly, his eyes fixed on the one he called lord. Voldemort stood and gestured to a door at the side of the hall. They walked together, Severus' eyes stayed on Voldemort as he moved gracefully towards the private chamber. Severus remained silent as he secured the door behind them and silently added a spell of his own making; 'muffliato' He then turned to the Dark Lord he finally removed his mask.

"My Lord" he spoke, at last, the urgent desire to warn his master. "I have overheard a prophecy, My Lord," He bowed his head submissively, a secret fear welling inside him, dare he continues, it is dangerous to speak against the dark lord, to speak of his defeat could be perilous. Severus was an intelligent man, he had come too far and it would be worse not to speak. "My Lord the prophecy speaks of the birth of one that would have the power to overcome you…" Severus paused, shame-filled him, he had turned a child over to the dark lord, he had no choice but to brush it aside, waiting for the reaction that would tell him his future. Voldemort stood silently for a moment, thinking, nothing read on his face. Finally, he spoke.

"Severus, where did you hear this prophecy" his voice was sweet, silky almost, it would have been beautiful if it didn't freeze your insides with fear.

"I was waiting to be interviewed by Albus Dumbledore as instructed my Lord" He paused momentarily, always glancing at his Lords' face, always reading his mood, sensing either his lord's displeasure or his delight. "The interview was in an upper room at The Hogs Head Inn, the prophecy was by an applicant for the Divination post, her name I believe was Sybill, Sybill Trelawney, Albus witnessed it" He again paused waiting for a reaction, pushing aside the usual squirm, but his lords face was even, no hint showing on his face, he dared himself to hold back something, something to help the child.

"Please, Severus, recite the prophecy for me ...exactly" his voice even, giving nothing away. Voldemort was calm and confident, there was little fear in this prophecy for him.

"My Lord, it was as follows; 'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies' that it all I heard my Lord." Severus bowed again, shame increased, he realised all he would have had to do was keep the second line to himself, yet ashamed as he was, ensuring his own safety seemed more important. His Lords confidence helped fear of retribution subside. The room was silent and the air seemed to freeze as the atmosphere changed. Voldemorts' mind moved over the word’s that Severus spoke.

Voldemort took up a seat in the corner by the fire, his mind flitting over those that wherein the order of the Phoenix, those are the only ones that were still willing to defy him, and many had tried, many had fallen, not many had survived more than one encounter with him, and even fewer couples, there were only two intact, and only 1 couple that came to Voldemorts mind. James and Lily Potter, they had been a thorn in his side, they had defied him, yes, 3 times they escaped. He thought over the words again, he knew that the potters had recently had a child, but when, was he the child apparently destined to overthrow him. He sat still, silently, sorting through the various facts that he had stored away in his mind. It came, like lightning, yes, it fits. James and Lily Potter, their son must die. Severus was still stood there awaiting instructions. "The Potters are the ones that the prophecy speaks off, but fear not, I shall take care of that myself." There was a tone of finality in his voice that told Severus that he should leave, but he couldn't, he loved her and he wanted to save her, she was someone he would die for.

These words froze Severus' insides, his mind was darting through memories of Lily, he did not desire her, he adored her, she was his worst mistake, he should have loved her when he had the chance. There was nothing he could do to save her, his heart sank, he felt hopeless. Then in a moment of hope he fell to his knees before the dark lord "My Lord" he began, "The woman, Lily, may I ask for her to be spared, I beseech you for her life, she is … special… to me" He stopped, head bowed, subservient, he hoped and begged that this information would be enough to purchase her life, shame redoubled over his failure to even try and save her child.

"Severus" he glanced over at the young man before him, desperation oozing from his being. All Voldemort saw was the weakness. "I think we can find a more suitable … companion. There are many fine purebloods within the ranks" He glanced at Severus, his face was completely impassive. "The woman has defied me too many times for me to consent her to live… you understand this Severus?”

Severus had never had to guard himself so much in the presence of his master, his heart ached, there was no one else, a world without lily was no world at all. Now there was nothing that he would be able to about it. "I understand completely my lord." his tone was dull and emotionless, from the hard exterior no one would know, not even Voldemort, that his heart was secretly breaking. He resigned himself and left the dark lords presence, leaving the headquarters immediately, he didn't know where to go, he didn't know of anyone that would be able to help him.

* * *

He disapperated and found himself on a hillside with a small thicket of trees, there was a small sunlit river glittering through the trunks, it was a special place for him, it was the place he met Lily. At that moment he knew that there was only one person that might be able to help him. Having delivered messages before, Severus knew just how to contact him, he sent the word and waited.

Severus was panting and pacing, his wand gripped in his hand he waited, his heart still full of despair and now filling with fear, he felt he had made a choice, the only choice he could make, but this gave him no safe ground, from now on he had no side to call his own, he was a traitor to both sides of the war. Those in the light had always hated and rejected him, and he expected his life to end, but if that was the price to save Lily, so be it. Then a blinding, jagged jet of white light flew through the air, Severus dropped to his knees and his wand flew out of his hand.

_"Don't kill me!”_

_"That was not my intention.”_

_Any sound of Dumbledore Apparating had been drowned by the sound of the wind in the branches. He stood before Snape with his robes whipping around him, and his face was illuminated from below in the light cast by his wand._

_"Well, Severus? What message does Lord Voldemort have for me?”_

_"No - No message - I'm here on my own account!”_

_Snape was wringing his hands: he looked a little mad, with his straggling, black hair flying around him._

_"I - I come with a warning - no, a request - please -“_

_Dumbledore flicked his wand. Though leaves and branches still flew through the night air around them, silence fell on the spot where he and Snape faced each other._

_"What request could a Death Eater make of me?”_

_"The - the prophecy … the prediction… Trelawney…”_

_"Ah, yes," said Dumbledore. "How much did you relay to Lord Voldemort?”_

_"Everything - Everything I heard!" said Snape. "That is why - it is for that reason - he thinks it means Lily Evans!”_

_"The prophecy did not refer to a woman," said Dumbledore. "It spoke of a boy born at the end of July-“_

_"You know what I mean! He thinks it means her son, he is going to hunt her down - kill them all -“_

_"If she means so much to you," said Dumbledore, "surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?”_

_"I have - I have asked him -“_

_"You disgust me," said Dumbledore, his voice full of contempt. "You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die as long as you have what you want?”_

_Snape said nothing but merely looked up at Dumbledore._

_"Hide them all, then," He croaked. "Keep her - them - safe. Please.”_

_"And what will you give me in return, Severus?”_

_"In - in return?" Snape gaped at Dumbledore, after a long moment he said “Anything."_

They talked long on the hilltop of what Dumbledore would require as payment for this, and yet the more they spoke, it seemed this payment was a kindness more to Severus than Dumbledore. Some weights were lifted slightly, and more weight was added as he accepted the challenge of being Dumbledore's spy. His heart was full of fear, the Dark Lords retribution was fearsome and Snape may pay dearly for Lily's life, and yet hope remained because the world would still have Lily Evans in it, and that thought Snape was a price worth paying anything for.


	2. Pettigrew Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, see what Peter did and how he will be caught out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some of Sirius and Remus' lines, borrowed from Prisoner of Azkaban, I like a bit of authenticity

Malfoy Manor was an impressive, imposing and ostentatious estate, everything had a dark gothic edge with glittering silver and white that couldn't lighten the desolate atmosphere, the garden had pure white peacocks and marble monuments, just another mark of the monstrous Malfoy ego. The main doors where huge heavy dark oak, ornately carved, designed to give the impression of royalty, after all, their belief that their pure bloodline was wizarding aristocracy was clear. The entrance was glamorous and dark, a physical representation of the Malfoy family ethos, decedent. Just beyond where more large oak double doors leading to a large grand dining area where a number of people were congregated, it was filled with a dark oak table surrounded by ornate hand carved and presumably rare antique, wooden chairs. A silver and yet strangely dark, the chandelier hung from the ceiling providing only a faint glow, making the atmosphere that much more sinister.

At the head of the table was a tall pale man, his eyes where red his pupils were almost like slits and his nose was strangely flat to his face with long narrow nostrils, it gave the man a sinister and snake-like appearance. This was the Dark Lord, his journey into the depths of dark magic had taken its toll on the once handsome face. The cause of the change in his appearance was unknown, but the more his monstrous regiment took hold, the more it showed in his physicality. The rest of the occupants surrounding the table focused only on the Dark Lord, they were all dressed in long identical dark robes, all masked, like a uniform. There was one empty chair beside him. In the shadows, a short and stumpy figure waited, in another corner for all to see lay a mutilated corpse of a previous disciple, a disciple that had displeased their Master, a snake feasting on his flesh.

"I would like to introduce, our latest addition" the Dark Lord gestured to the dumpy man, he didn't wear one of the masks but wore the same black uniform, he had a scruffy mess of dirty brown hair and watery eyes, his fidgeting hands showing his fear and desperation, eyeing the body in the corner, maybe he had made the wrong choice, but then these days pleasing the Dark Lord is always the safest option, no matter the cost. It was none other than Peter Pettigrew.

"Peter has been most helpful of late, he has been our man within The Order, delivering the most helpful snippets." He sneered arrogantly. "Peter has been most desperate to join our ranks for some time, but as everyone here knows, I expect payment," he paused, gazing at his disciples, some served out of ambition, some served believing in the misguided ideals, some served out of wonder, some even served out of fear, "Peter has finally paid the price to bare the name ‘death eater’, Peter is the Secret Keeper of the Potter Family, they have defied me long enough, and they are no longer able to hide. Peter and one other will be assisting me with this, it is a matter the utmost security” Voldemort continued there his slight smirk was frightening, he stood and gestured for to the men at either side; Peter and one of the masked man, you could only see the dark piercing eyes. “They must not get away again” he finished as he led them through to an antechamber

The Dark Lord then walked from the room, his two death eaters in tow, both spies, both trusted by the Dark Lord. Severus' dark eyes looked at the snivelling dump of a man, filled with disgust, his mind worked in overdrive, how could he save her now, desperately grasping at the limited information he had he tried to formulate a plan. "Peter, I would like to introduce you to Severus, a most adept and useful servant of mine“ The dark lord smirked, "Severus gave me the initial intelligence that made it obvious that the Potters must be dealt with immediately, so I thought it was only right that he assist me in the planning"

Severus removed his mask, disdain for the man showing all over his face. The Dark Lord would assume this was due to their past history, or just the disgust of looking at such a pathetic man, for Pettigrew was the epitome of pathetic, no one could argue with that. The rat-like man quivered and fidgeted, his eyes darting around the room, fear consuming him, and yet that small amount of Gryffindor bravery served him, served him enough to enable him to speak before these fearsome men."The Potters are hidden at Godrics' Hollow my lord, the small cottage across from the church, it's referred to as Potter Lodge, and is currently under Fidelius Charm, I am the Secret Keeper, I grant you entry, my Lord!" He bowed low before him, awaiting his reward.

"Give me your arm, Wormtail," said the Dark Lord, as Peter handed over his arm he forcefully pulled up the robe to reveal his bare forearm, pulling out his wand he pushed it into Peters skin. Simultaneously Peter gave a pained shout and started to sink to the floor in agony, whilst black ink spread from the wand coursing beneath the surface of his skin, bubbling with the heat created by the mark being burned into his skin. The ink moved and swirled burning as it went, Peter continued to squirm but the Dark Lord had a vice-like grip on his arm and held the wand in place. Finally, the ink revealed a skull with a serpent protruding from its mouth. He was officially a Death Eater... there was no going back.

"Severus, tonight I will go to the Potters, there is no time to lose, I want you to work harder on your connection with the old fool, Dumbledore, it's an integral part of my plan to get someone inside Hogwarts" he looked at Severus, considering him, "I would like to get you into the Dark Arts position, it's clear we need to press on and educate the youth appropriately, a belated warning of tonights attack could earn the fools trust, revealing Peter as a spy is no bother to me now” he kept a calm and even tone, "from there we need to work on eradicating the Mudblood's from our society, but that will be a two prong plan involving the ministry as well, and as you can see my man in the ministry has not succeeded in his task of getting close to Millicent Bagnold, I want an assignation or have her under the imperious curse before plans can proceed further" he paused reaching for Severus' face and stroked his face, "If only I had more like you..." he trailed off and walked from the room with no other words. Severus disapperated.

* * *

Back at Godric's Hollow James and Lily settled in for the night, relaxed and assured that they were safe. There was a fire roaring in a large rustic fireplace, the mantlepiece and walls were littered with pictures of family and friends, and many of a small child that lay on the plush rug giggling, he had a mess of black hair, and unnatural amount for one so young and bright green eyes, his little chubby legs kicking in excitement and his hands grasping for bubbles that issued from his fathers wand. Snaps shouldn't have been able to see this, but Peter had now shared the information, he had arrived straight away in their front garden, Potters too wrapped in a game with their son to notice that something was terribly wrong. With the joy on her face, Snape wanted to let that moment of joy to last a little longer, he didn't want to see the fear in her eyes, he didn't want her to know she had been betrayed so soon. However time was of the essence, he couldn't give her too long.

There was a harsh knock on the door, it made James jump and Lily immediately grabbed her son, shielding him from any potential harm, Sirius had left only hours ago and no one else was due to arrive. The knock came again, urgent and impatient, only a few seconds went by before they heard the incantation, “Alohomora" James grasped his wand firmly and stood in front of Lily and his child, his wand aimed at the door. In walked Severus.

"How?" James' face was shocked, full of fear, not knowing who had betrayed him. Had Severus managed to trick them all, fool even Dumbledore?

"You chose Pettigrew?!" The disgust in Severus' voice was evident, "I'm confused Potter, it would have been easier for our to send an invite to the Dark Lord himself." His face was twisted with anger and sarcasm. "I risked my life to bring you this information, to Save HER!" His anger surfaced on that final word, carefully concealed emotions threatened to reveal themselves as a single tear threatened to escape, taking a moment to compose, when he spoke again it was his usual even tone, emotion safely pushed down. "And you risk them so easily... you don't deserve what you have Potter!” he spat the words out like he was spitting in his face, disgusted that he would put such little value on his beloved Lily.

Lily's face was frozen in fear, she was shocked unable to move. James stood there, wand still aimed, realising that he really had made a huge error, he had risked his family thinking he was being clever, he underestimated close friends, Remus because he failed to see his flawless character, a righteous man suffering prejudice, even from friends, Pettigrew, because he assumed he didn't have the backbone, he didn't have the smarts, his own arrogance sealed his families fate, he could blame no one but himself. "What do I do Severus!" He made the choice to trust the man before him, a man he that he could never have called friend, or trusted with his family, but he knew he could trust Snape to protect Lily, he saw how he looked at her, he would protect her, knowing she would never be his, he would risk everything for her, he knew because that was the only thing they had in common.

"He's on his way, he will be here momentarily, you protect Harry and I will protect Lily" he urged James, in these, probably their final moments, James and Severus were finally on the same side. "I'll die before she does ...I promise" he turned and handed the child to James, taking out his wand and guarding Lily with his own body. Then they heard it, the pop of some Apparating.

James ran upstairs holding the child to his chest. Severus turned to Lily, and did the last she expected; "stupefy" he didn't put too much effort in, just enough to knock her out, keep her quiet. Lifting her he carried her through to the back of the house, hiding her in her own pantry. He tied her up so she wouldn't be able to escape, but gently, carefully. Listening he heard the familiar rustle of those black silken robes moving up the stairs.

"Muffliato" he murmured, still gently he followed the Dark Lord, not believing he was risking his life for someone other than Lily, but Lily's heart needed his protection too, and the man and child up there were her heart, and so he would be willing to die for them too. It wasn't long before he heard the familiar cry from the Dark Lord, and the flash of green.

“Avada Kedavra" came a cold harsh scream, knowing already it was too late Severus ran to hoping at least to save the child, he walked into a small nursery room. The walls were a pale cream with pictures dancing on the wall, the baby sat in the cream cot staring at the man before him, not knowing the danger, the man raised his wand at the child and spoke before Severus had time to jump in the line of fire.

“Avada Kedavra" a scream full of hatred.

What happened next Severus couldn't understand, there was a flash of blinding green light and a babies cry, the force blew him out of the room, the green light turned pure blinding white and at that moment there was a horrific scream from the Dark Lord, the spell rebounded and the Dark Lord seemed to have been destroyed. Severus moved into the shadows in time to see a dark soul fleeing from the ashes that were left behind and a child crying in his crib with an angry red lightning bolt scar on his forehead. Severus breathed, just one piece of Lily's heart had survived with her, it was all Severus had managed, but he knew it was the Father's sacrifice that had saved the boy, in that moment he respected James, seeing that act made him almost want to forgive him, almost.

The baby continued to cry and he didn’t know what to do, he picked him up gingerly and thought about holding him close, he needed comfort, but he knew Lily would need comfort too, he took the baby down to her hiding place, he magically removed the restraints and whispered “Rennevate” the unconscious Lily's eyes fluttered opened to Severus pushing the child into her arms, looking into her eyes he could see the pain, he knew that she understood that one of them hadn’t survived, that if James could be, he would be there, but he wasn’t. “I’m sorry Lily, I wasn’t quick enough!” Tears slipped down his cheeks, feeling responsible for her now broken heart.

* * *

Sirius had left the Potters just a few hours ago, he had since been and got supplies and was ready to and sit out the night with Peter, he wasn't completely sure that it would stay secret and he would do all that he could to protect what he thought was his brave friend. He would do anything because he thought this man was risking his life to save James, Lily and Harry. He wasn't overly concerned about tonight, I mean the chances of them figuring out it was peter straight away were so slim, Sirius expected someone to come for him first. After all, that was the information that Remus had. Because of all this, Sirius was casually strolling down the street to the little dingy house where Peter lived. As he looked at the house and saw a peaceful and undisturbed home, he smiled, secure in the thought that this meant his friends were safe. He walked up to the house and performed and unlocking charm, the house was dark and quiet, it was likely that Peter was asleep, passed out on the couch. ‘A cushy job in the order, hiding out keeping a secret’ Sirius thought.

The entire house was peaceful, it was neat and it was tidy, not a thing out of place, but there was no sign of Peter.

“Peter” Sirius whispered he walked through a simple combined kitchen and living room area and through to where Peter would sleep, there was still no sign, worry started to rise within Sirius, he called louder;

“Peter!” there was nothing in the little dingy bedroom and no one in the bathroom. The small flat held very few places to hide and the plan was that Peter would not move. He was nervous, very nervous.

“Peter! Peter!” he began shouting running about the house thinking of anywhere that he might hide. Peter was an illegal Animagi so it was possible that a little rat hid somewhere in the room trying to stay safe. Then a strange thought dawned, why would peter hide? No one was here, not a thing was out of place, no one had come looking for him, and even now, he would recognise Sirius’ voice, why?

“Peter, it’s me, Sirius, you James and myself became Animagi together in our 5th year” He spoke with desperation, somehow he knew that Peter wouldn't answer, somehow, although he had never suspected until this moment, he knew that Peter wasn’t hiding wary that it may not be Sirius in the house, somehow he realised that Peter was the traitor, yet he continued to search in pure desperation, pulling apart the tidy home, Sirius screamed in frustration falling to his knees in anger. The only thought running through his mind ‘We should have listened to Lily’ with that he disapperated, hoping to get there in time.

* * *

It had seemed like mere moments had passed, but an hour later Severus was still knelt on the pantry floor watching Lily hold her son to her chest, crying silent tears for her lost husband. Neither was thinking about an explanation of what had happened to the Dark Lord. Was he still here? Had he died? Why was Harry alive? Severus knew that at some point he needed to get a message to Dumbledore, he saw something survive, how much he didn’t know, would it ever be able to rise to power again? These where questions he just couldn't answer, questions that right now he just wouldn't think on, he could only think of her pain. Lily hadn’t looked at him yet, only at her son, then slowly she raised her head, and looked into his eyes, they were black as coal, many called Severus an unemotional man, but Lily saw deep wells of emotion, not knowing that Severus was seeing her pain and anguish and it was pouring right back out. To Lily, it looked like hope.

In the distance, barely noticeable as they were both lost in their agonising hour-long moment, there was a faint pop. They didn’t even hear the man stumbling into the house, the wreckage from the curse had blown to entire roof of the cottage away. The man stumbling around cried out in agony, there was no stealth anymore, not caring that he could be cornered at any moment, just agony. He ran upstairs, the first thing he saw was his brother in arms, James, sprawled on the floor in front of Harry’s crib, his eyes open but lifeless. He cried aloud pulling his friend towards him, holding him close, he sobbed into James’ robes

“I’m sorry James, I’m so sorry, I failed you, James, I’m sorry” He sobbed over and over in his mind the worst had happened.

Downstairs, Snape helped Lily up, “Lil, we need to get to Sirius, come on Lil” he ushered her upstairs, hating the man up there but knowing it was cruel to leave the man to this unimaginable grief alone. This was the first time that the war had truly stung Severus, he was used to being on the other side, the side putting the Mark in the sky, not crying over the bodies left behind, somehow he felt happier on this side, cleaner.

“Yea-” her voice broke through the tears, she managed to bare her weight but leaned heavily on Severus to guide her to where she would see the man she loved. She managed the stairs but as they approached the babies room, her legs gave in, Severus catching her, her sobs broke out once again, louder, getting the attention of the other sobbing man, Sirius reached for her, a little slice of joy, happier that he hadn't lost everything, just the man who became his brother, Sirius held her close and they sobbed over James’ body together, Severus stood on the sidelines, alone, watching the heartbreak continue. It took some time before Sirius acknowledged his presence. Anger flashed across his face then confusion.

“I- I- I'm so sorry, I wasn't quick enough” Severus stuttered. “There was no time” Sirius’ eyes softened, Snape, a man he had hated, he looked just as broken as either of them, though suspicions never died.

“di- did you plan this?” he spat out, his face contorting, it was almost a ridiculous thought, but they had all known that Snape had loved Lily for so long, and it was easier to believe that he had schemed than face the fact that he and James made an error trusting the wrong friend. Somehow, there was no anger on Snape’s face, there was an acknowledgement that he had thought of this plan, of giving the Dark Lord the man and the boy for Lily, but it wasn't the case. He cared too much for her joy, he knew this path wasn't going to get him his hearts desire, he knew that he had destroyed the path to his hearts desire on that afternoon after his owls, that dreadful choice he made, when he spoke those unforgivable words, now he just wanted to make her happy.

“Peter, he told the Dark Lord, I got here as soon as I could-” he stopped abruptly, unanswered questions now came to the forefront, what had happened here.

“Then why did he leave Lily and Harry alive?!” anger and suspicion rose up in Sirius, Voldemort never showed mercy.

“He didn’t - something happened” Severus struggled to find the answers. “I arrived a few moments before him… I told James to protect the child… I would protect Lily… then… he arrived …I stunned her … hid her…” Severus didn’t understand how he would explain what happened, he knew this would take knowledge of some magic unknown to him. “I followed … up here” he pointed to the point where he had stood at the door of the room, only now there was no roof, just the empty night sky behind, “I was late… James was already dead as I got up here, I tried to make it in time to save Harry, but he had already cast the curse-” his voice had more and more a note of confusion to it, this hadn't happened in the entire history of The Unforgivable’s he thought. “There was blinding green light... he screamed… the light turned pure white and the blast pushed me out of the room… then there was nothing left, just dark smoke in a gust of wind, though I could swear it …” too confused to continue, he slid down the wall and pointed at Harry, “The boy… he Lived!” Sirius looked at him just as confused by the strange tale, then he turned to Harry and saw the scar burning on his forehead.

Suspicions ceased and other emotions arose in Sirius, he was a man that would desire payback for wrongdoing, and he knew where he would get it. He would deal with the turmoil of not trusting Remus, or not seeing Pettigrew for what he was, and for trying to use brains to save the family he loved, his surrogate family, bravery he knew and bravery would have worked. Now was the time for revenge. “Lily” he gently kissed her on the forehead, loving, brotherly, he then turned his attention to Harry, and whispered “I’ll always be here for you harry, he gently stroked the child’s face, “First I need to avenge my brother” his voice gently, he knelt down and kissed the child on his burning scar, disapperating immediately leaving mother, baby and the tall dark haired man alone. Severus did all he knew to do, he summoned the only man that might be able to answer some questions, Dumbledore.

It hadn’t taken Dumbledore long to arrive and Snape again had been obliged to explain the circumstances of James' death, thy mystery of Harry being alive and confusion of the Dark Lords disappearance. Lily was able more and more to be part of the conversation, explaining to Dumbledore who had been their secret keeper, why they changed it, how Severus had turned up to try and protect them. Once Dumbledore was up to date he held Harry and looked carefully at the scar on his forehead, he questioned Severus vigorously about the dark smoke he had seen leaving the house and what had happened before and after Voldemort cast the killing curse. Severus had started to recover, be reacted more like the usual impatient sarcastic man he had been before, he had managed to get himself back on emotional lockdown.

“There is nothing else to say… He stood in front of the child, He refused to stand aside, the Dark Lord killed him” Snape had been questioned many times and was now becoming infuriated.

“And then he immediately turned on Harry?” Dumbledore questioned.

“Yes, and yes … I am sure that it was the killing curse, I heard him say the incantation, it had the distinctive green glow, then” he continued “the light became blinding white, I was pushed back by the sheer force of the magic, I heard the Dark Lord scream and the boy cried… when everything cleared there was no Dark Lord, he had been obliterated… but I felt his presence leave in the black smoke, there is nothing more to say!” They had gone over it many times now and Snape had nothing new to share.

“I have only theories I’m afraid… but one thing is certain, that Voldemort is now powerless but he will return and Harry's life will be in grave danger, from him and his followers, he will need great protection,” he looked at Lily as he spoke her face was stern now, listening intently her focus in life had become only one thins, harry and keeping him safe.

“Dumbledore, I will do anything to keep him safe… I don't feel that I can trust anyone with my son’s safety now, you always said his greatest weapon was turning us against each other, he’s gone and yet this weapon still isn't failing!” she held her sleeping child close to her chest, stroking the painful looking scar on his head.

“Trust yourself… Lily” It was Severus that spoke, she looked into his eyes, they were softer than she had seen them in years, here was her problem, her heart told her this was a man that she could trust, a known death eater and yet a close friend, a member of the Order whom she should have been able to trust turned out to be an enemy. It was in that moment that she had not felt safe around Peter for some time, and although everything would tell her not to trust the man before her, he had been the one that had come through, knowing just how much he had risked coming here tonight, by all rights they all should be dead.

“Ok” she spoke gingerly, she was going to trust her instincts and hers alone. “I want us to make a plan for Harry’s protection, and there are only a handful of people that I can allow to be involved, Dumbledore, I need the best protection that you can give me!”

“Lily, who will you trust?” spoke Snape, he was still cautious, shocked at the man that they had already trusted, he wanted her to trust herself, but he wanted to ensure that no further mistakes were made, not for the boy, of course, she couldn't take losing Harry as well, and Severus couldn’t take seeing much more pain in her eyes.

“I will choose, myself, Dumbledore, Sirius, Remus… and you… Severus” as she looked into his eyes, yes … that was a good choice, she saw in his eyes, the ‘sev’ she knew as a child was back, the boy that had always been there, until he had not, someone she could truly lean on, a great friend.

* * *

_Elsewhere in the wizarding world, the mood was far less sombre, the news has spread like wildfire, people had given up on caution to celebrate their liberty from what had been a growing cruel dictatorship. The following days had led to many a breach of the International Statute of Secrecy, even the Minister for Magic had been called up on charges, though she had acquitted herself quite brilliantly stating ‘I assert our inalienable right to party!’ The muggle news discussed the mass amount of owls flying in daylight hours confusing experts. It seemed that muggles seeing not the wondrous magical world was not a priority, one wizard bumping into an overly large and grumpy muggle responded to his apology joyfully “Don’t be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating, this happy, happy day!’ A certain wizard, Deladus Dingle’s, celebration ended up on the Muggle news, astronomers confused by the sheer amount of shooting stars in Kent that night. During that week not a single person was charged with breaking the Statute of Secrecy, things were smoothed over and everyone lifted a glass to Harry; The Boy Who Lived._

Parts of the community, those who knew the Potters, had party’s also, but they were bittersweet, the grief felt for James Potter was great. The confusion over what had happened, and who had betrayed them was a point of contention, many called for Sirius Black to be arrested, Remus felt a great heartache believing he was at fault for convincing them to appoint Black as Secret Keeper, he wasn’t a vindictive man and did not react in the same way as Sirius, he had hunted Peter down, this didn’t help Sirius’ image as upon finding him Peter was ready to show just how good a part he could play.

Sirius finally tracked Peter down in the small Muggle town of Whitby, it was a relatively busy high street where he finally cornered Peter. Sirius’ anger got the better of him and he shouted manically at Peter; “How could you!” his fury could be felt in every word, to passers-by, Sirius looked like a madman, though to say that the grief had driven him mad was not altogether untrue. “JAMES!” he would scream, “James protected you, HOW COULD YOU!” Sirius became more and more unravelled. Peter really had no back up anymore, his new ‘back up’ had been destroyed just as he had revealed his true colours.

Peter trembled before the ferocious man, his mind working overboard, he felt that there was no good way to survive this, he knew that Sirius would happily kill him for what he had done, he knew that Lily had survived and so the truth of his betrayal could not be hidden, he also believed the sinister whispers that He Who Should Not Be Named had survived, but had been broken and that he would return, he needed a way to hide, a way to not be looked for, to die without being dead. It was with that thought that Peter desperately and hopefully put his plan into action.

_Peter wept pathetically the epitome of desperation, though Sirius and Snape rarely saw eye to eye, the look the Sirius wore for Peter was almost identical to the stare that Snape had given him. “Sirius - it’s me … it’s Peter … your friend … you wouldn’t….” He burst into tears, cowering like a baby on the floor “Sirius, Sirius, what could I have done? The Dark Lord … you have no idea … he has weapons you can’t imagine … I was scared, Sirius, I was never brave like you and Remus and James. I never meant it to happen… He Who Must Not Be Named forced me -”_

_“DON’T LIE!” bellowed Black. “YOU’D BEEN PASSING INFORMATION TO HIM FOR A YEAR BEFORE LILY AND JAMES DIED! YOU WERE HIS SPY!”_

_“He - he was taking over everywhere!” gasped Peter. “wh- what was there to be gained by refusing him?”_

_“What was there to be gained by fighting the_ most evil _wizard who has ever existed?” said Sirius, with a terrible fury in his face. “Only innocent lives, Peter!” he spat the words out._

_“You don’t understand!” whined Peter. “He would have killed me, Sirius!”_

_“THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!” roared Sirius. “DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!”_  

A tear escaped as he looked on one that he had once called a friend, knowing that truly had the roles been reversed, he would have died to protect his friends, including Peter. Sirius shook his head slightly, as though removing the dark thoughts from his mind, then with a calmer albeit scarier look on his face, he raised his wand; “You should have realised Peter,” he spoke quietly now, “If Voldemort didn’t kill you, I would. Goodbye, Peter.”

At that moment both acted out their plans, Peter raised his wand also and bellowed out a killing curse aiming at a crowd of staring muggles behind him, the huge explosion killed many of the muggles behind him and created a barrier of smoke and debris, in that moment quicker than Sirius had been able to act her chopped off his finger and began his transformation into a rat, Sirius’ curse missing him narrowly as peter scurried away down a nearby drain. Insanity gripped Sirius and left him dumbstruck, that he had been outsmarted a second time by the friend that he had so grossly underestimated already, he stared at the crater made from Peter’s curse and laughed maniacally staring at all that was left. A finger.

It wasn’t long before numerous Aurors turned up, with the testimony of friends that he had been the Secret Keeper, the witness’ on Whitby High Street to the murder of 12 muggles and Peter Pettigrew, Sirius was escorted straight to Azkaban, the wizarding prison. Everyone believed him evil and insane, he never spoke a word in his defence as he was escorted to the prison, the conflicting emotions inside him rendering him his own worst enemy, though he knew that hope remained deep down, Lily had survived, Snape too knew he hadn’t betrayed the Potters, they knew the truth, in his cell his insanity increased as the Dementors stole all the happy memories he had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, please Kudos and I would love to hear what people think, drop a comment :)


	3. Saving Sirius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is fairly self-explanatory and much shorter than the others, we are on a mission to save Sirius from Azkaban!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like this new instalment, it is a shorter chapter I'm afraid, but the next one is gonna be here soon

There wasn't much of a trial for Sirius, Remus had attended and given evidence that Sirius had in fact been the Secret Keeper for the Potters and that in his mind, as soon as the Potters had been attacked, Sirius was revealed to be a Death Eater and a spy within the Order of the Phoenix, passing on information, and Sirius was the cause for James Potters death. The evidence of 12 muggle murders didn't help either. Sirius was about to be sent back to Azkaban. Sirius sat in a hard-backed wooden chair, chains binding him in place, he looked at his dear friend, devastated by what he had thought of him. As angry as he was at Remus, deep down he knew he couldn't blame the man, Remus had far more evidence for his suspicions than Sirius had ever had about Remus. Sirius looked out at the Wizengamot congregation, all eyes were on him, seeing him the same way they saw many of his relatives. His name stood against him already, there wasn't a single friendly face in the entire courtroom. Barty Crouch was sat with other higher-ups from the Department for Magical Law Enforcement, he stared at him with cold dark eyes, uncaring and unfeeling. Barty had a reputation for hating Dark Wizards more than most and had been asking for the most severe sentencing. It looked like he had no hope, he wouldn't be surprised if he received the Dementors Kiss before Lily or Dumbledore could put things right. He didn't expect Severus to do anything, too much had happened between them.

"Does the defendant have anything to say in his defence?" Barty's voice was harsh and authoritative, even as Sirius heard his moment to speak arrive, he knew that it was likely to fall on deaf ears. He knew what Barty Crouch would see, he would see a Dark Wizard making up a good story to get himself out of Azkaban. The reason that he knew this is because Sirius was very like Crouch, judgemental to the extreme where Dark Wizards and the pureblood agenda were concerned, and in Crouch's position, that is exactly what Sirius would see, and he would be unmoved. He decided to try his hand anyway.

"Honourable Ladies and Gentleman of the Wizengamot…" He started, his voice shaking and his nerves jumbling up inside him, he found it hard to appear as innocent as he actually was. "I plead 'Not Guilty' on all charges, I know that my words can be verified by 3 other individuals, there was one other that knew I was not the Secret Keeper, My blood brother, James Potter, a man I would be willing to die for." He looked over at Remus, he wouldn't hold Sirius' gaze, he looked heartbroken and yet was clearly unmoved by the tale.

"I am not surprised by Remus' account, that he believes me guilty, that is on me, He has never done anything to deserve what I have done, I lost faith in him. We believed Remus to be the spy in the Order, and I found out in the most tragic way that this wasn't the case. We planned to use myself as the Secret Keeper, however, myself and James were concerned that Remus knowing this would lead to me being targeted, James wanted to protect me also." At this point Sirius' voice cracked with the tears he was trying to hold back, "We changed it to Peter Pettigrew, we thought we were being smart." He then looked at Remus "I'm sorry Remus!" his eyes pleading for the forgiveness that he so desperately wanted.

"YOU LIE! HOW DARE YOU PUT THIS ON PETER, HOW CONVENIENT, THE MAN THAT WAS LOYAL, THE MAN THAT YOU KILLED IN COLD BLOOD" Remus screamed across the courtroom, tears pouring unashamedly down his scared face.

"SILENCE!" shouted Crouch, "I will have silence in the court!"

"I confess, I went to kill Peter, I wanted to kill Peter, I WOULD STILL KILL PETER!" Sirius cried out the final part, he needed people to understand, or take pause, take pause long enough to speak to Lily. "I did not manage it, He killed the muggles, he chopped off a single finger and then transformed into a rat, he then escaped down a drain before the ministry even came to get me, I swear it, Remus…please, believe me, ask Lily!" Tears finally escaped, it was so hard to keep his composure, he could still feel the presence of the Dementors, those that had brought him back from Azkaban, those that would perform 'The Kiss' where that the verdict.

"This is your only Defence?" asked Crouch, his voice still level, uncaring.

"Yes," Spoke Sirius gently, "It can be verified! Please just delay judgement until you verify, please! You can get the information from Lily Potter and Severus Snape, please I beg you!" no more was said, two Dementors walked through at Crouch's gesture and took Sirius though a back door. Remus watched as those scaly hands grasped his former friend, Sirius' face paled and he trembled and fought against their grip as they pulled him away, he begged, he shouted out to Remus even as the door they went through closed behind him, his screams faded into the distance as he was taken back to Azkaban. Remus left, confused by what he knew to be true, could it be a lie? Could it have been Peter? After all he had suspected him, he'd felt an awful guilt when Peter had been killed, like he had questioned an innocent man, had he? There were three people that would be able to tell him, and if Sirius' story was true … he would have to help him. He knew that Crouch was doing the bare minimum for those that he believed to be Death Eaters, not that many had an issue with those that had committed the most atrocious crimes, but Sirius may be innocent. With that Remus left the courtroom, only one place on his mind.

* * *

 

Remus, of course, knew where Lily would be, with baby Harry, but he didn't have the information from the Secret Keeper, so as he stood in the graveyard in Godric's Hollow, he stared at the spot where the house should have been. He only saw the cottages from either side, unable to see the familiar and quaint home of his friends, the place he most wanted to see. He couldn't see the tall slender man looking out through the window, the sallow skin, hooked nose and shiny dark hair with cold onyx eyes considering the him. Remus looked anxious, he usually looked somewhat dishevelled, but today it was taken to another level, he tended to always look worn out and tired due to his condition, but much more weighed on him today. He wasn't a man that he cared for all that much, but even Severus had to admit that Remus had been different to the others, he was an observer, never took part, but he never put a stop to anything either. He also hadn't been part of the ridiculous decision that had put the Potters in danger, he thought 'Potters', but in his heart, the only one he had any concern for was Lily. Knowing that she needed all the support that she could get and that Remus was a large part of her life, he made the decision to go and get him.

Remus saw a slight shimmer between two cottages, and then the tall man emerged from somewhere, as he walked out Remus could see the cottage that he had been waiting for, the destruction to the front and roof of the house was horrific and Severus saw the devastation on Remus' face. "No" he whispered.

"Lupin" Severus began, his voice wasn't filled anger or the venom that he would usually use for one of the potter pals, as he would call them, but it wasn't kind either. He gestured to the man and then turned around immediately, clearly expecting the man to follow. He strode into the now clearly visible cottage. The Severus had a fierce and cold demeanour, it was no wonder that very few had warmed to him at school, Remus had always wondered how he and Lily had been so close. He was incredibly uncertain about trusting him, he was, as far as he was concerned, a Death Eater, and that Sirius begged that a story be checked out with him and Lily seemed odd, had it not been for mentioning Lily's name, Remus wouldn't have given the story the time of day.

"Snape…" Remus' voice was unusually cold, he was a well mannered and warm man, very inconsistent with the view that others had of him due to his condition. He held out his wand, wary of the man before him after all the war might seem to be over, but there were plenty of desperate Death Eaters left, the question is; are Severus and Sirius part of that? "Where is Lily?" His voice held a warning, a worry that maybe she was also in danger. Severus' reaction was a mere flicker on his features, gesturing to Remus to follow him.

When they arrived in the living room Severus called out; "Lily" this was about as soft as Remus had heard Severus' voice, as she walked in, the usual harsh features softened, and Remus realised that Lily likely new a very different Snape than the rest of them. As soon, Lily, she saw Remus tears began to tumble out all over again and she flung herself at him and he enveloped her in a protective hug. Guiding her to a nearby chair he sat, pulling her close and stroking her back.

"What am I to do, Remus, he's gone, oh he's gone forever" and so her sobbing continued whilst Remus stroked her hair and whispered soothing sounds in her ear, all his attention was focused on this kind and strong woman, the woman that has been like a sister to him, a woman that loved him when he was unable to love himself. Severus looked on, hearing those words, happy she was safe, his heart broke as she knew that he couldn't beat James Potter anymore, he was out of the way and yet perfectly in the way, how could one compare with a man that died to protect their child. He was doomed to love her forever... from afar.

"Lily, shhh, it's ok, you're not alone, never alone, no, you will have so much help and James would have it no other way" he continued to whisper to her gently, lovingly, all the time watching Severus, he was still unworthy of trust in Remus' eyes. "James… he would have chosen this, just to keep you and Harry safe, he loved you so much, there's so much you can remember, but you have Harry now, you need to protect him" he held her and she soon relaxed in his arms. At that moment another walked into the room. It was none other than Dumbledore.

"Professor Dumbledore" Remus greeted, he gently removed Lily from her place on his lap and moved her to the chair alone. He stood before the man that had just arrived. "I have been giving evidence against Sirius today, he has been caught for murdering 12 Muggles and Peter Pettigrew." He paused, hoping to hear that he truly had it wrong. "He had the strangest defence, He states that Peter is not only alive but that it was He that killed the Muggles, despite the overwhelming amount of witnesses, he stated that Peter was the Secret Keeper…" His silence begged for a response. Dumbledore, however, was very relaxed about giving a response. It was Severus that released Remus' fears.

"I can vouch for part of Sirius' story" He paused, there was no softness left playing on his features, it was the Severus that he had always known, cold and harsh. "I gave intelligence to Dumbledore weeks ago about The Dark Lords intention to go after the Potters." The spat out the last word, "And at that moment I chose no longer to serve him but to work as a spy for Dumbledore, and it was then that plans were put in place to protect Lily and her family" he strained to smooth his voice as he spoke her name. "I am also aware that Peter is the one that betrayed them because I was there when he gave the secret to the Dark Lord… I have no information regarding his decision to kill 12 muggles, or Peter Pettigrew for that matter, though I must say I commend him on the latter!" Severus stood to the side of the room, almost awkward, if a man that was so imposing could look awkward, he clearly felt that he didn't belong in this company.

"Severus… forgive me, but your word is not one that I can trust without a confirmation from a more erm… credible source." Remus was being delicate, gentle even, if Severus had truly risked himself for his friends like this then he would gladly welcome him as a friend. "I only know you as a Death Eater Severus, if you did as you say, I swear you have my unwavering friendship." he finished, looking at particularly at Dumbledore. Lily was left alone on the chair, calmer and yet her heart still breaks.

"Of course" was all Severus would say curtly, as he walked standing behind the chair where Lily sat, a hand tentatively reaching to be placed comfortingly on her shoulder, then his uncertainty got the better of him and he removed it before his gesture could be noticed.

Before long, Dumbledore was able to confirm this and stated that he would be standing up in the Wizengamot himself to vouch for Severus. Lily was still unable to volunteer much and was more taken up with caring for Harry as she grieved for her loss. Severus though feeling so separated from her, never left her side, in the small things that he could do, if and when she called on him, he was already there. It was unnoticed by most, but to Lily, it was a security blanket, a comfort, she knew that he was there, and his presence warmed her world, just.

* * *

 

Over the next few weeks the house was busy, the same five people in and out, the first thing that had been fixed was evidence setting Sirius free and clearing Severus of all charges of previous Death Eater activity. Severus was excused from giving evidence on the grounds that he might work as a spy again. After Sirius was released the focus became sorting out the house for Lily, not only the damage but protective charms, the prophecy had been discussed and if other death eaters knew about it, which Severus could never be sure of if they did or not, then it was likely followers of the Dark Lord would try and remove Harry from the equation, they knew Harry would need the ultimate protection and they knew more than anything they needed to find and imprison Peter, they would not underestimate him again. They had yet to plan the future protection for Harry, he would be the most protected child in the wizarding world, not only from the potential Death Eaters hoping to bring their Dark Lord back to power but also from the obvious fame that the child already had. It was strongly believed by Lily, that this was something that he needed to be shielded from.

It was decided that after much deliberation that Severus needed to protect himself from being too associated with prominent figures in 'clean up' process, this is something that Remus and Sirius would be heavily involved in, and as they knew more about Peter's Animagi ability. However, all three of them would be there to protect Harry and Lily who would be going deep undercover in the Muggle World. Harry would be kept mostly in the dark until he was brought back to the wizarding world at age 11 when he would finally attend Hogwarts. Dumbledore had become the Secret Keeper for where they would all reside in the Muggle world and had given Severus a job at Hogwarts, not the one that he had wanted, instead, he would be the potions master. He had finally completed the last mission of his Dark Lord, to get himself placed at Hogwarts, this was of course known to Dumbledore and he was placed perfectly for the time when Voldemort would return, the perfect place to work both sides.

Severus would spend all his time outside of his job in Hogwarts, including his weekends protecting Lily and her son, Remus and Sirius covered the rest between themselves and searching for Peter, it was a hard life but they got into a manageable routine and trust was beginning to be built between the Severus and the two other men, though friendship was difficult to find for him and Sirius. Severus could be cold, though less so to Remus, who was kind and gentlemanly, but Sirius would be cold and sarcastic and with Severus' bitterness and distant demeanour, it meant that life could be difficult. Severus had trouble with Harry and few really understood why. It seemed Lily was the glue that held the group together, as time went on she grew stronger and slowly but surely she was able to help foster the trust between the others over the first few months, but as the years would she be able to bring them all friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like Comment and Kudos, please! I need encouragement


	4. The Tradgedy of Frank and Alice Longbottom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank and Alice Longbottom have been researching where Voldemort could be hiding in the hopes of taking him out whilst he is weakened, but will they succeed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love so far on this one, I hope you enjoy the next instalment

The month after Voldemort was defeated brought in a new and strange routine for the strange family. Remus and Sirius were always hard at work and chasing leads, Sirius being more actively going out and fighting and catching wanted Death Eaters and looking for Peter, Remus being the more intellectually apt would research various ways of tracking him often with help from Severus and Lily, it was a difficult task as Peter was unregistered as an Animagi, and lets face it whats more common than a rat? There were various spells and even potions that they had tried. Severus had managed to secure them a perfect muggle home in a perfect muggle area in rural Wales, he coordinated with Albus on the charms and Albus performed the Fidelius Charm. Lily had got the house all set up and had been in charge of getting all members adequate muggle wear. Severus was the one that insisted on them going 'full muggle' Sirius was adamant that they go 'mostly muggle'.

It was on a rather dull November evening that Remus and Sirius had come back from a rather busy day of 'Pettigrew Pursuing'. When they arrived they found Lily, Severus and Harry settling in quite well. Severus was clearly happier preparing food, out of the way, by no means playing with or even around Harry, and as they were to be staying under the radar as much as possible there was no magic. As it turned out he was quite the chef and was more than used to the muggle way of doing things, his father had been a muggle and not a fan of magic at all, or anything else by the sounds of things. Lily had set a table and was settling Harry in a Moses basket in the living room. Lily was still unable to settle Harry anywhere other than in the same room as her.

"Sirius, Remus!" Lily beamed, she embraced them both. "How was your day? Severus is cooking, it smells gorgeous!"

"Evening Lily" Sirius sniffed up "So Snivellus can cook, can he? I have to admit it smells better than anything our old House Elf was able to cook" Sirius laughed

"Severus" Remus gave his friend an eye of disapproval, "It really smells great" as he walked through to the kitchen, Severus pulled his face into a kind of smile, it was more cordial. After all, this was two people who managed to trust each other and maybe had decided to not hate each other anymore, nothing more and nothing less.

"Thank you." came his blunt reply, his eyes lingering on Lily as she spoke to Sirius, she was happy and almost carefree. He noticed Lily tell Sirius that he should be making an effort, but Snape had to agree, things were as good as he could hope for with Sirius, at least for the history that they had and the time that had passed so far. Earlier in the day he and Lily had spoken about the issue, Lily wanted more than anything for them all to become more 'friendly'. Severus had really thought about it, he thought it would be all for nought really, but this was Lily so he had a gesture that he thought might help to build something of a bridge between them, it was not for either of the men, it was all for Lily.

He finished his lamb stew and place perfectly sliced potatoes on top to be baked. He knew it was an old favourite of Lily's from her childhood, her parents made it the first night back from Hogwarts every year. He hoped it would remind her of a safer time and maybe subconsciously help her feel safer too. He walked into the living room and Sirius was cooing and playing with a newly woken Harry. This was another thing that irritated him, the man was thoughtless, he had listened whilst Lily had painstakingly pacified the baby, got him settled and to just about to sleep until they came in, and no doubt tonight he would hear her getting up more than usual in the night to the child's cries.

"Remus," Severus motioned to Remus to sit on the larger sofa where he had a collection of books many with his own scribblings in and various scraps of notes. He waited a moment for Remus to become more comfortable. "As I am aware, you have a certain condition…" he felt awkward, but he pushed through "I believe that the Wolfsbane Potion would be a great help to you?" he glanced around the room, his face was resolute, Lily glanced over at him and caught his eye, she gently nodded in encouragement to him, silently showing him that she thought he was doing well. Severus, however, was stiff and awkward and not presented as a friendly face at all. It seemed silly that this would matter so much to a man like Severus, and yet it was because it only ever mattered coming from her. "I have been looking over the potion itself for about a week and I think I would be able, if you wish, to brew the potion, if that would make them … full moons more… bearable." He swallowed hard, like even thinking about the offer was a hardship, his jaw was tight, and his lips were pulled into a stiff half smile, forced, but more out of trying to appear friendly, without the feeling being present.

Remus couldn't believe what he was hearing, he had looked up the potion a few years ago, it had been a huge source of hope for him, thinking that he would be able to pass the full moon in the relative calm, keeping his mind and sleeping out the night in his wolf form. He read up on the potion only to find that it was incredibly complex and he wasn't great at potions, to begin with, not to mention the price of ingredients, so many expensive components that a werewolf had no chance of affording, mainly due to it being hard to hold down a job, the stigma of his condition in the wizarding was comparable to that of the way those in the muggle world treated outsiders, less than human, they lived in fear of discovery, and yet they had to be registered by law, and as soon as someone found out your secret, you could see their opinion change, it happened in the eyes.

"But… Severus … the ingredients alone, I can't afford them, and I certainly can't expect you to foot the bill on this one, it's too much, it's such a generous offer!" Remus stuttered out the response overwhelmed by the offer, "Thank you for even offering!"

"The expense is not a concern for me Remus, I assure you. It would be a pleasure" He grimaced at the word before continuing, "If you would allow me to do this, you see, I am very interested in the potion itself and once familiar, would like to research the possibility of … improving it" Once finished he looked over at her, and she smiled at him, and that was why it was worth it, given his second chance with Lily, even with it being just a friendship, he would do anything to help it thrive, Severus, after all, was a smart man, and he had learnt what it meant to lose her, he would not make the same mistake twice.

"Remus accepts!" Sirius responded before Remus even had a chance of declining "and Severus-" he stumbled over his words now, attempting to give something back to the man that was trying at least "Apologies for my harsh words earlier." Looking at Remus he smiled signalling that that was the end of the discussion. It seemed, to Severus at least, the Sirius Blacks friendship was easily bought.

"So," said Lily wanting to move on, "What has been going on in the Wizarding world today?" Lily settled in to relax in a comfy armchair and Sirius pulled up a dining room chair, even Severus settled on the couch more to listen. "I'm not even allowed the Daily Prophet delivered!" 

Even at such a small comment, Severus was ready and waiting to solve the problem, and pulled a Daily Prophet from his robes, "I picked it up when I visited Hogwarts, it's a day old, but it's news" She smiled at him, and all he could think was that no matter what, it was all worth it, just to see her smile, hell it was worth it to see her breathe.

"Well there are so many being brought in at the moment and they are all saying that they were under the Imperious Curse, Lucius Malfoy, in particular, is looking like he is going to get off, but I don't believe that he was under the Imperious Curse at all." Sirius fumed, much less relaxed than the others

"Moody almost caught Evan Rosier, Rosier was killed in the struggle but Moody lost an eye and ended up in St Mungo's" Added Remus, "He's ok, and I believe they have a solution for the eye in mind"

"I'm not surprised Rosier died, the man is a fool with a death wish and he would never be taken alive" Severus added, the room was shocked, he never discussed his connection to other Death Eaters before. Sirius, in particular, took note.

"What do you know about Malfoy?" Sirius questioned, clearly he was going to milk this for all it was worth, apparently the price for Black's friendship just went up.

"He was a _very_ willing supporter, but you know I can't testify to that, and even if I did, he wouldn't be convicted, it doesn't matter what you find on him." Severus responded, "Malfoy has money in all the right pockets and in the Ministry that is far more effective than any Imperious Curse," Sirius looked dumbfounded. Severus noticed, "They weren't friends Sirius" He thought of the many gatherings that he had attended in the time between turning spy, the times when the plans for the Potters were discussed and the comments that he had been subjected to listening too, particularly from Malfoy, comments that went way past racial slurs like 'Mudblood'.

"If they weren't your friends Severus, who was?" It was Remus who spoke with his calm and gentle tone. Severus seemed to be softening and then his features went harsh as soon as the sentence was finished. Apparently, the price for Lupin's friendship was even higher.

"I shall need to check on dinner." and with that, he left the room. Lily watched after him concerned, he was a man that kept himself at arm's length, always, but he was doing all that he knew how. It would take a lot of chipping away of the hard exterior to get to the man within.

"Lil- I'm sorry…" Remus left it there and before long Severus brought out a lovely lamb stew with the gorgeous potato topping. Surprisingly it was Sirius that tried to ease the tension.

"You know Severus that tracking potion you pointed out the other day, I jumped the gun on that one, I shouldn't have thrown the idea out like that, I think if I have a good look through Peter's house there may be something there that we can use it on, hopefully it will help us track him down" Sirius had no idea if it would work or not, he still wasn't overly confident, to be honest, but it was something to try and say 'Severus, I don't think your at absolute tool'

"Let me know if you need the potion brewing, I will be back at Hogwarts within the month and can work on it there, I will pass it back through Albus?" Severus added, it was almost a cordial discussion, Lily was starting to feel almost positive about the prospect of trust and even friendship. There was just so much to work through, Severus was a bitter man, he held a grudge like no one else and there was a lot to hold against them, particularly Sirius, Remus was more humble and never caused as much damage, but Sirius' pride and pig headedness meant that building bridges was not something that he would be willing to put much effort in to, he was a meet me where I am at kind of guy, but Severus needed something to show he could let go and trust him, not trust in 'war against Voldemort' sense, but trust that Sirius was going to stop treating him like Snivellus and start seeing him as Severus.

"Have you heard anything that's going on with the Order?" Lily asked, she had once been in the thick of it and was now she was relegated to the sidelines, though she knew that she would be going crazy with worry if she left Harry with any of the men, with anyone.

"Well Dumbledore believes that Voldemort is still out there somewhere, I know he doesn't see much of a point in trying to destroy him as he is now, I get the impression he doesn't think that it's possible," Sirius continued, everyone moved over to the dining room and Snape listened as he served food to each of the guests.

"It makes sense, he doesn't have a body by the sounds of things, and we don't understand why he is still alive, I think we need to knuckle down and figure out what happened that night" Remus added, smiling at the very generous portion in front of him, sniffing the beautiful aroma's

"I can't fathom it" Severus added, "Though I have mentioned to Dumbledore that there have been little comments, things he doesn't think any of us servants would pick up, he hints that he is immortal, but I have been unable to find any magic that could truly give him that" He finished serving and sat himself down gesturing to everyone to eat.

"Well I'm with Alice and Frank" Sirius added, "they are going to find him, and then they will try and kill him!" Sirius started shovelling the food in his mouth, not the best manners in the world but couldn't help but smile whilst eating.

"I have to say, I know Dumbledore's plan makes more sense, but I can't help being with Alice and Frank, I can't bear the thought of that prophecy, I can't rest until I know he is completely safe from that evil…-" Lily struggled to find the words, she focused on the food in front of her instead

"A-hole?" added Sirius with his mouth full of potato

"douche bag?" put in Remus

"Swine" Severus really stretched out that last word, he sounded sinister yet in the context of the conversation it actually made Sirius smile and Lily outright laughed, though Severus' face was straight, he smiled on the inside. They finished a lovely meal.

* * *

The Longbottoms lived in a small wizarding village in Cheshire called Barnton. It was a beautiful rural town, lots of green and lots of nature, they had a lovely garden, that their 18month old son, Neville, just loved to play in. They were a happy family, lots of aunts and uncles always around the house, it really helped with their current search, often Frank and Alice would sit together in their study. They poured over all the bits of information that they had managed to collect, thinking and deciphering where he might be. They believed Dumbledore that Voldemort wasn't completely gone, but they couldn't help thinking it was foolish not to attack in his weakened state. They had been brought up by Moody in the Auror department of the Ministry of Magic, so they were loath to kill, always capture, they had looked into trapping what remained of Voldemort somehow, but this was not a strong plan, and it had such dark connotations that they were starting to think that killing would be better, more moral. Either way, they wanted to do something about it, not just sit around and wait for the inevitable, around their usual hours tracking down Death Eaters, they were working on their plan. Tonight, however, Alice was at her Mothers-in-law's with Neville and Frank was working, home alone. He had been working for hours and coming up short, as usual, there were hints, but only hints of dark goings-on, nothing that would make them certain enough to go and look, to take action, they needed secrecy, and they needed something close to certainty.

It was the dead of the night and he knew that Alice wouldn't be coming back, so when there was a warning that someone was in the garden, Frank knew something was wrong, he banished his papers, all the information was gone to a secret location. Frank sat behind his desk and waited, silently. It wasn't long before he was aware that there were people in the house, the fact that they didn't alert Frank they were there made him sure that it wasn't someone that he knew, everyone was on edge still after the war, sure there had been that moment of jubilation when He Who Must Not Be Named disappeared, but with all the Death Eaters still at large and desperate, fear was rife. Frank moved through the house, he found the best defensible position he could knowing that running was not really an option, there was a charm on the house to prevent apparation and disapparation, and he knew that was how quick he would need to be. As he waited he heard whispering.

"Frank, Frankie Longbottom" she giggled manically. At that moment Frank new at least 2 of the Death Eaters in his home. Bellatrix Lestrange and her husband Rodholphus, most likely his brother to Rabastan Lestrange also. They were known to be the most violent supports of He Who Must Not Be Named, and so far they had been proving quite difficult to catch. He waited, silently he camouflaged himself so he blended into the walls, giving him the chance of surprise against his intruders. Silently they moved past him, as suspected, Bellatrix, Rodholphus and Rabastan, he turned on them and performed a silent leg locker curse hoping for the time to get the others, he knew the moment that he moved the camouflage would be removed and then it was fighting time. He moved and Bellatrix's legs were jammed but in the same moment Frank heard another voice;

"Petrificus Totalus" shouted a voice that he hadn't heard in this context. His body snapped together, arms and legs, he fell backwards, now completely unable to defend himself, he mentally scolded himself for not noticing that there were 4 and not 3 people in his house, he tumbled backwards and saw the face of the one that had captured him, then he realised where he heard that voice before, his boss Barty Crouch, it was his son, Barty Crouch Jnr. He was just a boy. In a moment they had righted Bellatrix and were gathering him up, slowly the four Death Eaters carried him out of the house, then everything went dark, and he felt himself being apparated away, to where he had no idea.

He was released from the curse and his body became free, he tried to run for it, but strong arms grabbed him immediately and shoved him roughly into a hard chair. It was dark and so was unable to see or understand what was happening. He felt ropes or vines moving upwards and wrapping around his legs, and arms and pulling tightly so he was secured to the chair, they continued to wrap and strangle his limbs until they cut into him. Frank was completely unable to move. It was only at this point that any light appeared in the room. The room was completely bare, there were no windows and the floor was plain stone, just like the walls and ceiling, and there was nothing in the room beside the crazed Lestrange siblings, Bellatrix, and Barty Crouch Jnr. Bellatrix was tall and thin, she had long glossy black hair, her dark frenzied eyes were heavy-lidded and her thin-lipped mouth stretched over an unhinged smile, next to her stood her even taller husband, he was stockily built and had dark hair and the same pale complexion. His brother could have been a twin but he was a slightly slimmer build and slightly shorter than Rodholphus, the pale complexion and the dark eyes were identical, both had a hard expression, there was little life in their eyes. Barty Crouch Jnr. looked entirely different than the others, he was a very slight and pale with straw-coloured hair, his face had just a sprinkling of freckles, he looked young, only a year or two out of Hogwarts, Frank cried for the poor boy, what could happen to a child so young to bring them to this so soon.

"Where is the Dark Lord!" began Bellatrix, her voice was shrill.

"I do not know" responded Frank, finally the mystery was solved and he was thankful that all his research was hidden away. He could handle a bit of rough and tumble without spilling any intelligence. Besides he didn't truly know where he was yet.

"Crucio!" screamed Barty, Franks body writhed in agony, it felt like a thousand volts of electricity were running through each nerve in his body, each nerve on fire, never-ending pain with nothing to numb it, Frank's heart just broke for the boy even more, even as he heard the boy cackle with delight, his mind wondered to Neville, hoping that he would be able to love his son well enough, well enough to save him from feeling such hatred. All of a sudden the pain stopped and Frank could breathe again.

"WHERE IS HE!?" This time Bellatrix screamed, her eyes wild with fury.

"I still don't know" he just about got the words out before he got another dose of the torture curse

"CRUCIO" yelled Rodholphus and Rabastan. Frank screamed throughout, thinking only of his wife and child, and thanked Merlin that they were safe. This went on for hours and hours until Frank mercifully passed out.

* * *

It had been only a few weeks since that meal and things had been gradually improved between Sirius and Severus, there were the beginnings of the hope, hope that might just lead to trust, but it was tenuous, to say the least, Sirius was mostly guarded with what he would say when Severus was around, but would occasionally speak about things that were happening with the Order. Severus was at Hogwarts during the day now and would Floo back on the weekends. It was the weekend after and Severus was due to arrive at any moment, Sirius was paced back and forth in front of the fire, waiting for him to return. Lily was in the kitchen, watching, her face was like thunder. With a sudden flash of green, Severus appeared in the fire. Remus who had been sat in the living room watching Harry suddenly picked him up and walked upstairs, it seemed he sensed fireworks.

"Playing the part of double agent well aren't we?" Sirius spat the words out at the man stood in the fire grate.

"Excuse me?" Severus spoke precisely, he wasn't really angered by what had been said, there was more confusion.

"FRANK LONGBOTTOM!" Sirius couldn't control his temper "He has gone missing, mere weeks after I spoke about it in this house, in front of this FILTH!" he gestured at Severus, not bothering to speak directly to him, but all the anger was directed at him.

"Sirius this is stupid" Lily spoke now, her voice was calm and yet you could tell that she wasn't happy, "You're jumping to conclusions again, just like you did with Remus!" Severus noticed how she had trusted him, but his focus was on Sirius.

"You think I would do that? Turn spy at great risk to myself, and stand in a court to get you out of Azkaban, then simply to betray you?" Severus asked, his voice deliberate and dangerous.

"Don't ask me to understand the mind of filthy Death Eater scum!" snarled Sirius.

"I would have thought after being thrown in Azkaban…INNOCENT, you would have a few more questions before jumping straight to guilty!" Spat Severus.

"I had always been innocent, you have ALWAYS been guilty" Sirius' voice got louder and louder until they heard the child crying upstairs.

"SIRIUS!" Lily was starting to get both upset and furious, she that angry look with tears threatening to spill over. Severus noticing wanted to try wanted to, but the hurt and anger of all those years were ready to spill out. "Just stop, just stop talking for crying out loud"

"No Lily, Frank is likely dying somewhere, being tortured and it's because I trusted a Death Eater!" Sirius was no longer shouting but his voice was even more dangerous than it had been before.

"I think it's time for an honest chat" Severus walked purposefully out of the kitchen and into the cupboard under the stairs, Sirius marched after him, he wasn't about to end the 'honest chat'. The cupboard under the stairs wasn't a cupboard at all, it opened up on a large dark room, there was a bed in one corner and bookshelves lined with old volumes, there was a small cauldron set up and a cupboard full of vials and jars of ingredients. Sirius stormed in right after him, finding the set up completely usual, watching as Severus grabbed a small vial, handing it to Sirius to inspect, it's label said 'Veriteserum'

"I don't even trust that" he spat

"Give it here" Lily spat a Sirius and took a small mouthful of potion. "Was there anything that you ever wanted to know Sirius, something I wouldn't tell you?" Severus looked at her in all of her fury, she wasn't a shouter or a screamer, she had that tone of voice that made Sirius sit up and pay attention and on her face, you could read it all, the way that she handled things, he was in awe of her.

"Who was your first crush?" Sirius asked with a smirk, he had always suspected that Lily initially took a fancy to Remus, she was close to him before she was close to any of the other marauders, mainly because they both were keen students. Lily rolled her eyes at his childishness.

Lily struggled with this one, it really was a question that she didn't want to answer, but then it would prove her point, she tried her hardest to say something else but was compelled to speak the truth, as Veriteserum is the single strongest truth potion that there is. "S-s" she continued to fight it, and Sirius' eyebrows went up, making assumptions "Severus Snape" it was forced out of her

"OK, Snivelly, she wouldn't admit that without a bit of truth potion, drink up and we can have a little chat" Severus caught the vial that was tossed over to him, but his eyes remained focused on Lily, she walked out of the room, her face still not happy. Severus downed the entire vial. "Have you shared information about Frank and Alice Longbottom?"

"Only with Albus Dumbledore" replied Severus

"And did you speak in a place where someone could have overheard, or a place where you had planned for someone to overhear?" Sirius Spat

"No" Responded Severus, despite knowing that the current issue of trust had been dealt with Sirius couldn't help taking advantage of the situation.

"Would you ever betray Dumbledore, the Order of the Phoenix or anyone that opposed the Dark Arts?"

"No, believe it or not, that isn't who I am" Sirius was shocked, he knew that Severus was unable to lie, but this was a conflict of the man's entire adult life, until recently.

"If that's true, how did you come to work for the Dark Lord?"

Severus struggled more here, this was something that he didn't want to go into, it was a minefield of emotions for him and he didn't want to go into this with Lily, nevermind Sirius Black, but the potion was strong as was the compulsion. "It started in 5th year Hogwarts" he started, "After an exam, you and James levitated me" Severus spat it out, this was, in fact, his worst memory, not something he wanted to go into with great detail.

"I remember that" Sirius felt a wave of shame, as much as he disliked the man, through adult eyes he could no longer look at the situation and laugh, "But what does that have to do with your choice to become a Death Eater, if that's not who you truly are?"

"I'm getting there" his voice was dangerous "If you remember Lily stood up to you that day, as she had done so many times" Sirius nodded. Neither of them knew but just outside the entrance to Severus' cupboard room sat Lily, listening intently. "I was humiliated and angry and I said something…" he struggled to decide how he would get across what he had done "It was unforgivable" here he stopped, his face no longer struggling to hide the shame that he felt about that day, the day that had changed everything.

"What did you say?" It was no longer an interrogation, it seemed more like this was a way that Sirius was actually seeing a real version of Snape, not him framing himself to be seen how he wanted to be, or seeing him through the cold hard mask that hid all his emotion. He noticed the mans face change, realising he would have no choice but to bare all.

"I called her a-" he took a deep breath, "Mudblood" his jaw tightened, not out of anger, you could see him trying to reign in his emotion, his vulnerability was evident. "I tried to make things right, however, Lily would not forgive, there were contributing factors, the company I kept, in those days, there wasn't a Slytherin that didn't have a connection to the Dark Lord, but what I said was the last straw, it was the single biggest mistake of my life, losing Lily" Severus motioned to move away from the cupboard, he didn't want to go any further, he'd bared enough for one day, Sirius blocked his exit.

"How is that responsible for you turning your allegiance to the single most evil wizard in history? How can that be responsible for all that you did for him?" Sirius couldn't deny that he was angry, he felt it was a cop out, a sob story making it ok for him to be the man that he had been, to curse and torture people at a Voldemorts bidding and it's ok because he got bullied and he lost the girl. At this Severus broke, it was too hard to contain anymore, as the potion had set in it was harder and harder for him not to answer and it tumbled out in a mass of anger and hurt.

"BECAUSE I HAD NOTHING ELSE, NO ONE ELSE!" he paused, the look of shock on Sirius' face, "I was broken! I had suffered abuse as a child, abuse at school and I was surrounded by those that wanted to hurt people that they felt deserved it, the one good thing in my life fell away and I was alone, I wanted to belong to something, I wanted a family!" he paused, he had revealed so much already, "I was, and am, full of bitterness and hate and it seemed to me that you and your friends, the people who were 'good'! You where the ones that targeted me, it was too tempting, I believed it would heal me, I believed that I would be someone that Lily would look at again! I believed if I succeeded enough, she might actually love me, It may seem ridiculous to you, but I was … desperate" there was no more compulsion, he had revealed everything that really had contributed to him choosing such an awful path. Lily was still in the same spot, crying silent tears, wishing she could go back, wishing she had forgiven and saved him from this life.

Sirius looked at him and wondered how he would have handled having no one but those that had such an agenda, and knowing that those who claimed to oppose such evil, had actually been cruel to him, it was almost as if Severus had been herded into a life that he may or may not have chosen on his own. The part that had even seemed ridiculous to Severus, he understood more than any other part.

"What you said about choosing that life to impress Lily," He looked at Severus, the man's face was full of rage and anguish, he had clearly pushed him to the limit, and yet, Severus at his limit changed something inside Sirius. "I understand that maybe not the Death Eater bit… but-" he let out a gentle laugh, he was actually making the effort to soothe Severus, the only way he knew how "I mean, that's why James targeted you, I followed because I thought it was bloody hilarious, yea I know I was jerk, but I was a loyal jerk, He wanted Lily and somehow he thought to humiliate you, her friend from Slytherin, would work…" He smiled at the man in front of him, "It was pure jealousy of course, for a long time she wouldn't even look at James, and our actions never helped" Sirius thought maybe of apologising to the man in front of him, instead he decided on something else, maybe something more appreciated by Severus, maybe not.

"My family, it was like being stuck in Slytherin, not following the family line was difficult, in the end, I had to run away, I can see how hard it would be, I was lucky to have somewhere to run to…" He realised his choice was to try and show Severus some of his pained life, but he knew really he hadn't even dug slightly beneath the surface, he knew he should apologise for his own actions towards the man, for almost barring him from another way of life. Severus made his own choices, Sirius understood that, but he really couldn't deny that he had played a part, he felt sure after seeing Severus that he understood his choices too, regret was in every word he spoke.

"If I were you I would focus on looking for Bellatrix Lestrange" With that Severus made his way out of the room and straight to the kitchen, he didn't hesitate in floo-ing straight back to Hogwarts.

* * *

Frank had no idea how long he had been in the dark and dismal room, his life since he was taken had consisted only of pain. He would black out often and if his torturers noticed then his body may get a much-needed rest, sometimes, they wouldn't and his body would continue to suffer whilst his mind was unable to remain present. There was strictly no mercy from his captors, they were more than a little insane. It had become clear that Frank didn't know anything about Voldemorts whereabouts pretty quickly, however, he was determined not to let out a single lead that he had obtained or the location of his research. Times that Frank was conscious were becoming few and far between and when he was conscious it became more and more difficult to make conscious choices, his fight and sarcasm had died, but he was also completely unable to remember any of his leads anymore, at least the intelligence was safe.

As the group got more and more desperate for the information, they became more and more sadistic, Barty Jr and Bellatrix particularly would become overzealous and creative in the ways that they would cause pain; one day consisted of Rodolphus questioning incessantly if Frank didn't give information, which was always, he was showered with water by Crouch and Bellatrix would hit him with a lightening curse, the pain was unbearable, and always the Cruciatus Curse was added, the intense pain was all that Frank felt. He was left without food or water, unconscious in the wet. When Frank had been there for days, it was Rabastan that ended the torture.

"Frank" he pulled his head closer to him by his hair "I have been watching your family, little Neville is getting so big, I think he misses his daddy, don't you?" At this point he pulled him closer;

"Argh…." Frank had managed to hide the amount of pain that he had experienced, for the most part, refusing to cry out in pain, or make any noise at all, however the simple act of being pulled up by his hair and the shock of hearing about his son made it hard to hide just how much pain that he is in.

"Now, you can go back to Neville and your dear Alice…" Pulling tighter on his hair, Frank gave another cry, Rabastan gave him a satisfied look, "You just need to give us the information you have on The Dark Lords whereabouts… Or" he continued, his sinister smile spreading into a maniacal grin, "You can keep quiet…" He threw his head to the floor where it hit the concrete with a hard bang, Rabastan kneeling down, his face at Franks' ear as he spoke, "And I will find Alice, and I will make you watch, and if you remain quiet… I will be forced to bring baby Neville for a visit!" There was fear in Franks' face, he could take the pain, but he didn't think he could take watching his family hurt.

"I- I- sowy" Frank could barely make words anymore, tears streamed down his face, "Pease… Pease, No nofin" It took all his effort to force out the half-formed words, "Pease, pomis, I pomis- no formation!" At this Frank was subjected to another dose of the Cruciatus Curse, Frank screamed in agony until he fell unconscious, the foursome was unable to wake Frank after this.

* * *

Since Severus was back at Hogwarts the house had been considerably calmer, Sirius had moved forward in his feelings about Severus, but unfortunately, things took a bit of a downward spiral, He had been visiting the house in the evenings or weekends but this had taken a sudden decline. He felt like too much had been said, he had been forced to be far more vulnerable than he would like. He was also very disturbed by what Lily had said under the truth serum. He had lived a life believing certain things, one of them being that she had always thought James was better than him and he had never had a chance of winning because she perceived him as weak, this belief made his own disclosures all the more distressing. For this reason, he was somewhat absent from the home.

Remus, however, had just recovered from his monthly cycle and was recovering. Preparing picking up the scent of Peter. He and Lily had always been close, their bond went beyond friendship, Remus adored Lily like the sister he would love to have had, however, it had given many the wrong idea. Part of this was because they were so similar, both more willing to think out a situation, or in Hogwarts; study in the library, but there had never been any romantic feelings, Remus was protective of her and she was equally protective of him. She wanted nothing more than the man to see himself how she saw him and find happiness with someone that deserved him. Remus was also great with Harry.

Sirius was not very fatherly, he was a fun uncle that Harry would probably have a great time with when he was older, he was the kind of guy that would encourage night time excursions at school and the same kind of 'dangerous' fun he and James had gotten up to at school. It was difficult to see how Severus felt about Harry, on the one hand, he had sworn to help protect him and put his whole life on the line to do it, not just by being a double agent, but literally moving his life into Harry's and being part of a very small protective pack, on the other hand, if Severus didn't have to be in the room with Harry, he wouldn't be, he didn't play, hold, feed or engage with him. Lily hoped that this would change, Harry may not be able to tell the difference right now, and that in itself was questionable, but he would when he was older, and rejection is something Lily wanted to guard him against.

Living as muggles was a bit of a challenge for the group, mainly because they were all used to those little magical solutions, and they would creep out from time to time. It was one of those evenings, Remus and Lily had sat down to a nice evening of TV, something that felt like a very muggle thing to do, however, Harry had been ill and therefore not settled, the TV adaptation of Brideshead Revisited would end up playing in the background. Harry had recovered from his slight fever and was no being incredibly fussy, he was on the couch between Lily and Remus and constantly vying for their attention, his favourite being bubbles that Lily would make erupt from her wand, this led to Harry often making grabs for it.

"Harry Potter what a rotter!" Remus said in a sing-song voice gently tugging playfully at the wand that he had managed to get his hands on. Harry gave a tug and the wand spewed out puffs of golden smoke

"Harry! That's your first spell, Harry… well done" Lily cooed at her son's accidental magic and the wand was removed from his hand, she sent another flow of bubbles in his direction, but Harry was no longer content with bubble's and started to cry, his hands grasping for the rather fun looking stick!

It was in this moment that they received an unexpected, yet rather belated visit from Severus. The fire blazed green in the kitchen and there he stood, he heard the commotion in the living room and followed. Severus wasn't one for spending time with Harry or even being around when he was fussing, however today he walked in purposefully. He watched as the child cried trying to clutch Lily's wand.

"Harry … no!" Lily repeated, "Mummy's wand is not Harry's toy!" she spoke in a firm yet light voice. Harry continued to grasp. Severus watched the whole exchange as Remus tried to distract him with colourful smokes and more bubbles, it did until Harry then made a grasp for Remus' wand. "Severus!" Lily beamed, she had been hoping that he would come by, she wanted to fix things, they hadn't really spoken since the revelations, least not about anything significant. However, with that Severus walked out of the living room and out of the back door. Lily looked at Remus, her face hurt.

"It'll be ok Lil," He affectionately pulled her into a hug around Harry, who was still making grasps for the wands, "He's hurting, it takes time, I'm impressed that he came" Remus reassured her, hiding his annoyance as the way Severus handled things. Then surprisingly Severus walked back into the living room holding a robust twig, it had all the leaves removed and there were no sharp edges unless you counted the pointy end, which was so thin it bent at the slightest pressure. He walked over to Harry and gave the twig a little swish, Bubbles began erupting from the little twig. Harry rewarded Severus with a giggle and reached out for the twig.

"Harry can have his own special wand" Severus spoke, his voice wasn't playful but it had a slight warmth, barely noticeable, but it was there. Remus and Lily watched in shock as what might possibly have been a smile played out on Severus' face, Harry shaking the wand in his little fist, bubbles spewing everywhere. "I got your last owl… you said Harry had a temperature and was not sleeping, I just came to drop off a few little potions you might find useful, delicate for reducing fever and aiding sleep, just in case, or maybe if he isn't well again…" Severus trailed off and placed some vials on the side table, all neatly labelled in his own hand.

"Th- Thank you" Lily smiled, it was a smile that stopped Severus in his tracks.

"You're most welcome, Lily." he made more of an effort in the smile department, though it was so rarely seen or used, it looked a little odd. "I do have to go, though" he glanced at the TV giving it a bemused look, turned and exited by the floo all over again.

"See, he's hurting, but he's getting there," Remus' face said it all though, he was absolutely shocked at the turn of events and Lily thought maybe he hadn't been so confident all those other times she had reassured him that her friend would come round.

"Remus" her words had weight on them, worry "It's not just that, things were said, I don't need complications, I just need to protect Harry and I can't pretend he didn't hear what I had said, or that I didn't hear what he said," Her eyes started to well up, "Having that friendship back is everything to me right now, but my husband died a month ago!" her tears became thick and fast, Remus moved next to her, Harry in the corner of the sofa, and hugged her tightly.

"Severus isn't going to expect anything, He cares deeply for you that's right, but he heard that he was your first crush… then you married James, and he came here knowing that," He tried to comfort her, though knowing that Severus' feelings were deeper than he had ever realised made him more concerned for him than Lily.

* * *

 

Frank had been missing for around a week when Alice decided to search for him. Sirius had been by and told her that he had information that Bellatrix Lestrange was likely to be involved. That was where she started her search. She had staked out the house and found nothing, searched through recon files in the Auror Department and visited every known haunt, she interviewed as many Death Easters she could, though she only had access to those in Azkaban, and many were not helpful. Her search led her to the Malfoy Manor, where Lucius was adamant that he had been under the Imperious Curse and had nothing to do with his Sister-in-Law. He painted the view of a good family man.

From here she didn't travel far, before long they had caught up with her, and soon enough she would find her husband. Thought it was not likely to be the kind of meeting that she was hoping for. She woke to find herself in the same concrete room. It had very little light but seemed a large spacious room, everything was solid and cold. A small light had been lit and in the corner lay her husband, he was breathing, but unconscious and seemed to have been severely beaten.

"FRANK!" she stumbled over to her husband "FRANK, WAKE UP- COME ON FRANK!" she cried pulling and shaking her husband, but there was no response. At that moment, Bellatrix made herself known, coming out of the shadows she hit Alice with a curse;

"Crucio!" she shouted

Alice's body writhed in pain, she let go of her husband and collapsed on the floor next to him, screaming in agony.

"WHERE IS VOLDEMORT?" shouted a voice completely unfamiliar to her, the young man moved into the light, it was Barty Crouch Jr.

"I- I don't, n- n - know!" she stammered out

"Crucio!" Bellatrix shouted again

"But if I did-" she said defiantly "I WOULDN'T TELL YOU!" she managed to scream the last part. All her energy going into her defiance. A surge of anger went through her captors, and she was hit by four curses at once,

"CRUCIO!" they shouted almost in unison. Alice writhed in agony for a while before passing out completely. The Death Eaters lost hope that they would get information out of Alice or Frank and they made more of a sport out of it, they knew they would never get the information and for that, the Longbottoms deserved immeasurable pain, and that is what they got. Alice wasn't sure how long it lasted, but she held out until the end. Unfortunately a witch or wizard can't die from pain, but they can lose themselves, and unfortunately Alice and Frank lost just that.

* * *

 

It had been a month since Sirius and Severus had exchanged words on the case of Frank Longbottom and now Alice was missing as well. Sirius had spent all of his efforts searching them out, even abandoning his search for Peter. It was with that thought that he ventured over to Malfoy Manor, he remembered the conversation he had had earlier with Severus;

_"Malfoy may have information, but he isn't going to admit to anything that can get him in trouble" Severus had said, "He has worked hard to make sure he is completely clean after the Dark Lords fall, but he or his wife are likely the only people that may have a connection to Bellatrix and her husband."_

_"If he isn't going to admit it, Snape, how do I get the information, Alice is gone now too, they have been gone too long, we are starting to lose hope." Sirius had been making a concerted effort with Severus, despite that, he still harboured a great dislike for the man, though it wasn't as clear to him why anymore._

_"The only way would be a truth potion, I have some, but it's getting it in his drink, and you would have to come alongside, make him believe that he isn't under suspicion, he would have to truly think you're on his side." Added Severus, "Flattery works with Malfoy, I know he has likely made donations to various departments at the Ministry, see if you can find out if any went to law enforcement or the Auror office, if it did, you make a show of thanking him for it, that in that way he has already helped the post-war effort"_

_"So you want me to suck up to the silver-haired pillock?" Sirius added with disgust_

" _Yes… and if you want Frank and Alice, that is exactly what it will take" Severus added firmly "It's despicable work, but that's what it takes" Severus' voice remained even, he had noticed a change in Sirius but almost felt that this was too little too late, and remained distant from the man, although doing all that he can to help. "If you manage to get to the point of searching, there is a cellar, its hidden and its under the drawing room, you cant apparate in or out of it, there is no way of getting in or out of it except via the door, which doesn't respond to 'Alohomora'" he continued evenly, "It's a place they might keep prisoners, but it has always been a place that Lucius would hide things that maybe he would rather the Ministry didn't find, I wouldn't be surprised to see them there"_

_"Thank you Severus" he had ended the conversation there, offering a hand shake, it had been ignored and it irked Sirius, though Remus had took the time to point out that this was to be expected, it was hard for Sirius to see himself through Severus' eyes, though it was becoming harder and harder to ignore and he knew that actually, it would take some effort on his end to show that he could be trusted, Severus had been doing a lot to show his trust, but there wouldn't be any warmth between them, let alone friendship until the trust worked both ways._

From there Sirius had gone over to his boss at the Ministry to see if there had been any donations made to his department, and sure enough, Scrimgeour had accepted a donation which had been being used for the excessive overtime that had been needed, the new equipment that Aurors had been given. It turned out that actually the Aurors wherein the debt of Lucius Malfoy, but that wouldn't effect Sirius' job.

All this had passed through his mind as he had made his way to the Manor, he knew it was a long shot and he had to be careful how he handled himself, he was not like Severus, 'double agent' wasn't exactly his forté. He had Veriteserum in a hidden pocket in his robes, he had the information he needed, and he had some names that he could drop in, mainly from his own family, those that he was still friendly with, maybe this would work in his favour, to gain the favour of a man he seriously needed to con, a man that he needed to get very guarded information from. Severus had given him strict instructions on how to use the Serum so that Lucius would be unaware of what was happening until it was too late, start off small, things that didn't matter, things Lucius wouldn't need to lie about, or wouldn't want to lie about, he wouldn't sense the compulsion, to tell the truth until it was too late. Sirius would need all his cunning, but cunning was a Slytherin trait and he was completely Gryffindor.

He arrived at the gates, he did as instructed and tapped the gates with his wand. It was in that moment that a small house elf arrived at the gate. He was about three foot tall with enormous ears, they almost bat-like, he had green eyes, about the size of tennis balls, despite the battered and beaten look of the little elf, his eyes were full of life and had sparked with unbelievable joy.

"I have come to speak to Lucius Malfoy, It's imperative that I speak to him at once, I need your Masters help" he spoke through gritted teeth, hoping to sound as gracious as possible though the idea of what he was saying to a known Death Eater was horrifying, especially since he had basically bought his way out of Azkaban. But with that, the house elf held onto Sirius' robes and disapperated to a large entrance way. The house elf nowhere in sight Sirius waited. The house reminded black of his old family home, gothic and decadent, 'it seems to be the hallmark of the pureblood proud families of the wizarding world' he thought 'honestly why can't any of them have some taste' he mused silently. Within a moment, Lucius walked into the hall, he smiled at Sirius, and yet Sirius knew that it was false, Lucius would be on high alert, and his job would be more difficult than he had initially thought

"Black!" he greeted him warmly, "Important ministry business? However can I be of assistance!" he shook Sirius by the hand and guided him to the drawing room, Sirius wondered if this could be the drawing room Severus had mentioned, could Bellatrix be below his feet at this very moment.

"Hi Lucius," Sirius smiled, "Bad business to be honest, bad business" he shook his head as he spoke, appearing warm towards the man before him, the man he knew had lied about the Imperious Curse, a man that had come toe to toe with more than once in the war "I was sorry to find out that you had been under the Imperious Curse all this time" Sirius took a seat, trying to sound genuinely concerned, "There were a few times that we ended up face to face, and I'm just glad that we have that opportunity now to see each other again in better circumstances, now that we can see each other as allies."

"Thank you, Sirius… is it ok if I call you Sirius?" the kindness in his voice was false, but Sirius still wondered if maybe Lucius bought his lies, the lies about believing his story.

"Yes, of course, after all we are family" Sirius laughed gently "Unfortunately your Sister-in-Law, Bellatrix, my cousin" he added "and her husband are believed to have been genuine Death Eaters, and unfortunately are believed to have captured two of our best Aurors," Sirius began, "I know it's rather unfair, but your connection to her can't be ignored, in the hope of saving Frank and Alice we hoped you or your wife might have information about where she and her husband might go?" Sirius paused for a moment, watching Lucius' face, it gave away nothing, he was glad he had the Serum as a backup. "I myself have been questioned, as you know Bellatrix is a cousin of mine, as is your wonderful wife, Narcissa, but alas, nothing came of anything that I knew"

"Not at all, we understand, Narcissa herself has been very grieved to learn the actions of her sister, and we will both help in any way that we can." He smiled a sickly smile once more, "I believe you may find little of our information useful, as Bellatrix became involved in the Lestrange family, there was a pulling away from her sister, they were more… aggressive about their beliefs than Narcissa and myself." He added.

"It is my thoughts as well, but I can't leave a perfectly good stone unturned I'm afraid, I'm realising more and more that the only people that would be able to help at this point are likely to be those that are so unwilling to help, the _real_ Death Eaters." Sirius put on a sad smile, almost affectionate, putting him and Lucius on the same side, or at least appearing so.

"We will just have to make the ordeal as painless as possible" Lucius spoke clicking his fingers and the house elf appeared again, "Dobby I would like a Carafés of Wine and two glasses for me and Mr Black"

Sirius knew that this is where it would get tricky, the man likely didn't trust him and now he would have to spike the drink, he thought over tips that Severus had given him. This was the man to listen to after all.

_"Sirius, picking the drink is the hard part, if he drinks what you give him your safe, but it's getting it in and him trusting it."_

_"Can't I just use a Confundus Charm or something?" Sirius blurted out,_

_"If you want to get caught, sure" Severus added coldly, "You're not the only one there, and as soon as Narcissa see's her husband she will know he has been confounded"_

_"So how?"_

_"Appear to spike his drink, but spike your own instead" added Severus with a sneer._

They had practised for hours until Severus had been happy that he would be able to fool Lucius. Now it was showtime, Sirius had to do it for real. Dobby the House Elf arrived and placed a large tray on the table they were sat at bowed at his master who gave him a good kick shouting as he did it "Leave! House Elf" he didn't even mention the poor creatures name. Lucius reached to pour a drink when Sirius intervened.

"You're too kind Lucius, Let me" Sirius reached for the decanter and poured two glasses, he made a show of hiding his spare hand as he poured one of the glasses, and placing it before Lucius, then poured his own, the glass already had the veriteserum in it, he placed his newly filled glass before him as he put the decanter back on the tray, and with a hidden moment of triumph, Lucius picked up the glass that Sirius had placed in front of himself, the glass with the Serum.

"Let's start off small shall we?" Lucius asked, clearly he wanted to test that Sirius did, in fact, have the serum in his glass, Severus had warned Sirius that he would want to make sure he appeared to be under the serum, at first at least. "How much do you see your family these days?"

Sirius knew he would have to be honest, though not too honest, fake honest let's say. "Well, my blood relatives, not at all really, they were never happy when I was sorted into Gryffindor, and the friends I made dramatically changed me, we are mostly estranged, however I still saw my uncle Alphard Black, that is until he passed away a few years ago, I had thought of trying to mend bridges after that, but mother suddenly passed away too." He found it easier to share information about his blood relations, but he knew he would have to speak about the Potters, his true family, and yet Harry's protection needed to remain intact.

"The Potters became somewhat of a surrogate family I believe?" Lucius questioned

"Oh yes, It was a hard day when Mr and Mrs Potter died, they had been very good to me," Sirius was able to keep his emotions in check so far, the Potters, was and would always be a difficult topic, "They took me in at 16, the real blow was losing James of course, he was like a brother, and with Harry and Lily going into protection, I only see Remus these days, he's the only family left really" he couldn't help his voice cracking with the emotion, the thought of just not being there for Harry was a difficult one, knowing that his life was always going to be filled with danger, thinking on this helped, it made his emotional revelations all the more real. Now it was his turn. "But we should talk about happier things, I believe you and Narcissa had a young son? One could argue he is a second cousin or second nephew… something like that" Sirius forced a laugh, it was obvious it was forced, but given how emotional he got, it fit the story he was trying to tell.

"Ah yes, my son Draco!" A look of pride spread across his face, a subject that he could test the serum on, perfect.

"When is Draco's birthday?" Asked Sirius, facts that he had already found out from Severus, there was always the chance the Lucius would try to lie just to ensure he was safe from the serum, hopefully, fatherly pride would get in the way.

"He will be 16 months next month, June 5th" he smiled with pride, clearly he was a proud dad. "and he is the most remarkable child, handsome, already showing magical ability, I am very proud!"

"Nearly 2 months older than my Godson!" Beamed Sirius, this part was easy, gushing over Harry was something that he loved. "what kind of Magical Moments have you had?" laughed Sirius, "Sorry, that is very cheesy, it's what Lily called it when Harry did something like make his food fly across the room into James' face!" it was a genuine moment and what Lily had actually said whilst she gushed, something no self-respecting male wizard would call moments of accidental magic from a 1-year-old.

"No! don't worry" laughed Lucius, by now he was really starting to believe that Sirius had the Truth Serum, "I can imagine Narcissa coming up with an equally sentimental name for it," Sirius would have never had his dear cousin down for anything like that. "Well Draco has done many similar things, though he usually aims at the house-elf, in fact, it is mostly house elf abuse!" he laughed.

"Anyway, the job at hand," Sirius said, calming the conversation, "Bellatrix?"

"Bellatrix Lestrange, yes, my wife's sister," Lucius replied honestly

"Do you know if she worked for the Dark Lord, definitively?" asked Sirius, "I'm sure it's true, but there have been many shouting 'Imperio' now that He Who Shall Not Be Named is gone" asked Sirius

"Oh yes, Death Eater through and through, his most loyal!" he added with gusto, he then caught himself, starting to cotton on to what may have happened, under the table Sirius had his wand ready, ready to restrain the man at a moments notice.

"Do you know anyone that might be harbouring them?" Sirius asked a cruel smile played on his face as he watched Lucius squirm.

"YES!" Lucius spoke out of gritted teeth, the jig was now up, he knew exactly what had happened. He tried to stand, but Sirius was quicker, ropes sprung silently from his wand and coiled around his arms and legs, tying him to the chair.

"Who is harbouring them, Lucius?" Sirius was now beginning to enjoy himself, a mischievous smile in place, and it looked like it would be there to stay.

"I AM!" It was clear Lucius was fighting the serum, the short answers, he gave just the bare minimum.

"And are you doing so willingly or are you still under an Imperious Curse?" Sirius allowed himself to chuckle now, he had the man right where he wanted him, no amount of money could get someone out of this one, surely.

"I am not under any curse, I am harbouring them proudly and support every action against filthy blood traitors like the Longbottoms!" Malfoy had completely given in, his fury making the serum stronger.

"And where are they?" he asked

"ARGH!" Lucius was doing all he could to keep that information, he knew deep down that the only way he escaped Azkaban now was with the Dark Lord back, and the Longbottoms had been the only connection.

"Lucius, I need you to answer like good ickle Death Eater… ok? Now, where is Bellatrix Lestrange keeping Frank and Alice?" Sirius' voice was an odd combination of mocking and anger, taunting him and filled with fury at the same time.

"They are in a secret chamber, one that you will never find!" with that he muttered a silent spell, and the next moment Lucius was sat dead in the chair that he was tied to.

"Expecto Patronum" Sirius magicked his Patronus, a large dog made up of silvery cloud, "I need a message sent to Scrimgeour, I know where Bellatrix is keeping the Longbottoms, its a secret chamber underneath the drawing room at Malfoy Manor, I need back up at the manor now!" with that the Black dog sped away.

* * *

Harry was nearly 14 months old and was Lily was so proud of her little boy the first day he stood up and was able to take tentative steps whilst holding the edge of the sofa. They had all, apart from Severus of course, been waiting and encouraging Harry to walk, holding him up and just daring him to do it. It felt like with all the bad things that still happened, Frank and Alice, no sign of Peter, all the Death Eaters that were managing to walk free, That Harry's little milestones were the only cause for joy. The initial signs of magic, not including defeating a Dark Lord, of course, had been spectacular at first, however Harry seemed quite happy with the wand that Severus had made for him and so him doing magic had lost the buzz, he would crawl around the living room and search out the little twig and wave wildly, the room full of bubbles. Though Severus didn't seem to care all that much, it was strange that the twig would change the colour of bubbles, the shape of bubbles, or even start emitting smoke, the mysterious changes were always sometime after he had been by for a moment or two.

The first time he had said 'Mama' Lily was overjoyed, to the point where she burst into tears. Then came the moment when everyone realised that he had no one that he would be called 'Dada'. Sirius, Remus and Lily both took this hard, Sirius tried to hide it but found the odd tear escaping, it re-opened the wounds of their lost brother and Lily's lost love. Though it did not stop Remus and Sirius from competing at whose names Harry would say next, whenever either got a chance they would play peek-a-boo and incessantly give Harry a name to copy. However much to everyone's displeasure, it was on one of the occasions when the twig changed to sparkly blue smoke, that Harry started bum shuffling around the room, waving the twig wildly shouting 'nape, nape, nape!' rather excitedly, Sirius was more than irritated, Remus was put out but mostly found it amusing as Severus was the only one not vying for the child's attention, though he seemed to have it. Harry would often crawl straight over as soon as he appeared.

It was on one of those evenings that Harry managed to walk. He had been waving the twig wand in Severus' face, the stoic man looked mildly irritated as the now big bright golden bubble snitches were popping continuously on his face.

"Harry, No!" he would say firmly, though not firm enough to dissuade Harry from his entertainment, it seemed to everyone that Severus knew it and that maybe he was playing the part of not being concerned with his fallen rivals child. He then picked Harry up under the arms and placed him in front of the sofa. "Go to mummy!" he said in the same somewhat firm voice, and Harry did, he held the side of the couch and sidestepped all the way to the other side, let go right in front of Lily and landed on his fat baby bum.

"HARRY!" Lily exclaimed "You are the cleverest boy in the world!" she picked him up cuddling and kissing his chubby cheeks. She put Harry back down and said "Where's Snape!" she said excitedly. Harry did not disappoint, dropping his little twig wand, he grabbed the sofa and did the same waddling side step on his chunky baby legs all the way over to Severus, letting go to reach up to him he again fell on his baby bum. In all the shock and horror, Severus hid his face behind his signature flowing black robes waiting, Harry grabbing the sofa and Severus' knee and pulled himself up, and reached for the robes, pulling them down he shouted

"NAPE!" a huge smile on his face and a clear smile on Severus'. This seemed to be the point when he didn't avoid the house as much as he had before, that the awkwardness that Lily and Severus had both been feeling was able to dissipate and she felt more relaxed, more able to continue her work on building the trust between her very different friends, Remus and Severus seemed like an easy task, Remus was kind and understanding of Severus having been on the receiving end of innumerable prejudices, however, Sirius and Severus were both apposed to trusting, but she could see little hints that there was something that looked a little like trust forming.

Sirius had finally got home from the raid on Malfoy Manor. He had a look of complete exhaustion. Remus made a cup of tea, he himself was having the most disgusting brew of Wolfsbane Potion. Lily was upstairs lulling Harry to sleep, and everyone else was waiting in the living room to hear the days news. It was a regular occurrence when someone had had a big day or had been completing one of the many tasks, they all made the effort to come together and share the information. Usually, Severus would cook a meal, as they were still attempting to maintain the muggle lifestyle and Remus and Sirius were hopeless and Lily tended to be busy with Harry's night time routine.

On this particular evening, things were a bit warmer between Severus and Sirius, Sirius had been so happy with the intelligence that Severus had given him, it meant more than it had been given long after the truth potion incident, and had therefore been given not only from a place of free will but also despite Sirius' unfair accusations. Before long Lily was tiptoeing down the stairs, the usual signal that a meeting could begin. She gently closed the door that led to the stairs and took an offered cup of tea from Remus.

"Whats for tea tonight?" She asked looking at Severus, they rarely got right into it, this wasn't how Severus would do it, but Lily always needed a little obligatory small talk, she felt anxious about what she was going to hear.

"You had some chicken in the fridge, really could have been done with being cooked today or tomorrow, so I made a chicken and mushroom casserole, It should be ready in about half an hour or so, just enough time for some news?" he looked at Sirius, clearly he'd like to get the ball rolling.

"I'm with Severus, like a plaster, just rip it off Sirius" Remus added, Lily squirmed, clearly wanting to know and not at the same time, and more bad news couldn't be born.

"Well, it's not all good," Sirius started, "I found Frank and Alice, they are a mess, we got them to St Mungo's but it took a while to find the secret cellar, it was covered in enchantments to keep it secret."

"Are they going to be ok, Frank and Alice…" Lily interrupted

"Not right now, and the Healers at St Mungo's couldn't or wouldn't say one way or the other, they said they had never seen such extensive use of the Cruciatus Curse on one person. That was in relation to Frank, he had been there for nearly 3 weeks we think, he hadn't had food or drink in that time, he's lucky to be alive, honestly Lil, it could be the opposite." he paused, Lily's face filled with anxiety and complete sadness. "Alice" his face brightened slightly, "There is more hope for Alice, she had gone less time without food and there was much less Cruciatus damage, though, she is still in a bad way and neither of them is making much sense right now."

"There have been times when people that went missing where cursed to the point where they were unable to talk, usually by Bellatrix and her husband," Severus interjected, "I wish I could tell you that there could be improvement, but depending on how far it has gone, there may never be a cure for the damage that she has done," He wanted to give her truth, he knew it was hard, he knew it would hurt and he knew he was reminding her of his less than savoury past. "I'm sorry, Lil" he finished.

Lily looked shocked, Severus, as a rule, kept his past out of these meetings, out of any conversation really. "You saw this before?"

"Yes…" he started, he looked at the floor, clearly not proud of the history he had brought to the forefront. "Caradoc Dearborn… Bellatrix… on her own… she is… barbaric… even by Death Eater standards." he finished, still unable to look at those around him, he may not like Remus, he may even think very little of Sirius, but he couldn't deny that they had made more worthwhile choices than himself, and they would never be able to give this kind of information, information that he wished he didn't have access to.

"Have" Lily paused the question on her lips, not wanting to ask, but not being able to take the suspense of not knowing.

"Lily, don't!" Remus said gently, he couldn't bear for Severus to go through that, they were all wondering it, "We chose to trust Severus, to let go of his past, to do that we must truly let go, it cannot matter what was in the past, to be here, we must forgive completely." He urged her gently

Severus' couldn't help but feel immense warmth for the man before him, he had never expected such kindness from one of the four friends that had made his life so unbearable at school, in some ways especially Lupin, he never played an active role, but he always seemed unwilling to stand up for what was right, it shocked him to see him standing up for him now, knowing that Lily had quite a legitimate question. "No, Remus," He began, "I promise, I never- The extent of my involvement was gathering information, and… I promise that alone was a hard job, getting information was fine, but the fight inside me when handing it over-" Severus choked "I would make whatever potions were required" he managed to get hold of the emotion in his voice again, "However, I won't lie, the information I shared caused deaths, the potions I brewed inflicted pain, or kept people alive so they could feel more pain than is usual to bare… I have to live with that" Then he looked at Remus "Remus, if you are to choose to forgive me, you must know what you are forgiving."

The reaction was silence, everyone's eyes were on Severus, there was uncertainty about how to react to the startling revelation. Everyone expected Lily to be the one to talk, the one to comfort him, say something to help him feel secure in the forgiveness that they all gave, each one in the room, even Sirius, couldn't negate what Severus had done to save Lily and Harry, and that his intention was to save James as well. However Lily didn't know what to say to really express her feelings, it was Sirius that managed to say something first, not overly affectionate like Remus, but a huge effort for Sirius and all of them knew it.

"To be honest Severus," he started, "I expected worse" he laughed at the man, when he continued, he was gentle and caring, "You've saved people now, you have at least saved Frank and Alice's lives, no matter what happens, they won't be tortured and killed anymore, you saved Lily and Harry, and you helped me catch four Death Eaters, big ones too." He paused, "Rest assured, I forgive you for what seems to be a foolish choice you made, I can't imagine what it would be like to be stuck there after making such a choice, I, however, need to forgiveness for a choice I made over and over again, a choice I continued to make and one I certainly wasn't trapped in." This was the most that he could give in the effort to bring trust into the relationship, to choose to forgive in payment for the lives that Severus was trying to save, and ask for it in return, acknowledging the part he played in Severus' life, the part he played that led to a confused seventeen-year-old boy who sought power.

"Thank you" was all Severus said, his head still bowed, still feeling the shame of his past, and this was his real barrier, earning forgiveness was only part of his battle.

Lily moved over to him, she lifted up his head, his eyes were still downcast, "Look at me" she said, his eyes met hers, bright green beautiful eyes, she could see his dark eyes were filled with pain, tears resting determined not to fall out. "you're completely forgiven," Severus tried to interrupt "No! It doesn't matter who doesn't matter if I know who you told on, you are always forgiven, you're my best friend, how could I not forgive you" with that she moved closer and wrapped her arms around him and held him. He buried his head in her neck. He stayed there for a long moment. 

"So" Severus spoke up awkwardly, he gently moved away from Lily, moving her hands from around him "how did you do with the Veriteserum?" almost immediately the awkwardness disappeared, Lily settled on the floor by Severus' feet, and Sirius jumped into the story of how he managed to get Lucius to choose the glass that had been dosed, how he had convinced Lucius that it was him who had taken the Veriteserum, managed to confirm that it was Lucius that had drunk it and got him to confess and then how Lucius had mysteriously performed a spell without his wand to commit suicide rather than go to Azkaban.

"It wasn't long after I sent the Patronus to Scrimgeour that I had six more Aurors back up, it took a while searching the place, eventually Narcissa came back and when she saw Lucius she showed us where it is but said she had never been a Death Eater, it was just her husband, said she would take Veriteserum, so obviously they left it, thinking of the poor child no doubt. Once the cellar was opened we found Frank and Alice, Bellatrix, Rabastan and Rodolphus were still torturing them with another young Death Eater, and this is what you will never believe, who the kid was? As far as I know, he has never been a suspect!"

"Who?" literally all three of them called at once

"Barty Crouch… Jr!" Sirius almost laughed at the sheer shock on their faces,

"I had no idea, and I knew a lot that was going on!" exclaimed Severus

"How's Barty Sr doing with it all?" Lily asked

"Not good, Trials are coming up soon, but word is that Barty is refusing to acknowledge him as his son anymore!"

"I can't even imagine that!" Lily "To find your child has become the exact opposite of everything you stand for!"

"You get what you put into a child" everyone was surprised to hear this come from Severus, "If he has come from a family that is not teaching this belief system and he has turned away from that upbringing, it is because it was a painful and unhappy upbringing, I did not have that belief system drummed into me, I had an angry muggle father and searched for a way to feel powerful and found it in the wrong place, I would not be surprised if the same happened to Crouch Jr and I pity him, he would have been in a lot of pain" Severus didn't appear angry or upset he just had his usual stoic voice.

They spent the rest of the evening talking and discussing the recent events and the trials that were coming up. Severus would have to stand trial as well, a smaller trial where Dumbledore would be confirming Severus' change of sides before Voldemort fell. They pulled the various situations apart and talked them all back together again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, please take the time to kudos and comment - constructive criticism sought!


	5. Miracles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "In the muggle world sometimes the law's of nature are broken, and not just because a witch or wizard has intervened, sometimes, something else intervenes, we call them miracles, it's something that happens beyond all reason and no one can explain except that maybe a higher power intervened, why can't a higher power intervene for you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is going to be less dialogue-driven as it is showing the passage of time more, as we really need to get on with it!

Chapter 5 -Miracles

Lily had been filled with anxiety about her friends, Frank and Alice. And since Sirius had shared the news that they had been found. Knowing the chances hadn't set her mind at ease at all, as they say, ignorance is bliss. Anxious as she was, she just stood at the entrance to St Mungo's. To passers by she looked like she was very interested in the condemned department store, she was gazing at the mannequins with their questionable outfits, knowing that her answers were on the other side of the magical door. Staying here meant that there was always a chance that Frank and Alice were fine, however she was sure that when she passed through the doors and got her answers she would find that they were not fine and she feared that they would never recover.

"I'll go in… in 5 more minutes" she whispered to herself. She pictured clearly in her head the couple that she and James had become so close to once they started at the Order. They were older, Aurors, they had taught them so much, they would have never survived as long as they had without Frank and Alice. She pictured in her head Alice's carefree laugh, it always amazed her how Alice could switch off from all the evil they were facing, they would have all gone mad had it not been for her and her ridiculous stories, she had mainly spent time with James and the boys, and before that Severus had been her best friend, Alice had been like a sister in arms, she felt like she finally had what James had found in Sirius.

"Are you going to stand out there all day love?" the mannequin asked waking her from her wistful thinking.

"Ah yes… sorry" Lily walked through the barrier and into the main hospital.

It looked just like a muggle hospital, aside from all the robed witches and wizards with their rather peculiar ailments. She found the queue for help. There were only a couple of people in front of her, though the hospital floor was buzzing, Healers running here and there with some unknown urgency. They were identified by the lime green robes, that was reason number one for not becoming a healer… the robes would clash horribly with her hair. That was what Alice had said to her anyway, she had always seemed eager for Lily to become an Auror like her. She smiled at the happy memory. It wasn't long before she was stood in front of a severe looking witch, apparently she is 'happy to help'.

"I'm not Legillimens sweetheart, you need to tell me what you need!" she sounded like she had worked 48hrs straight with no sleep to help her mood.

"I'm here to see Frank and Alice Longbottom, I'm not sure where they were sent, there was extensive damage by the Cruciatus Curse" her voice was quiet and unsure, like there was no turning back from what she might hear, immediately the witches face softened.

"Floor Four dear, Janus Thickey Ward" Her tone was gentle and filled with kindness.

'not a good sign at all' thought Lily, she made her way, her thoughts on Frank and Alice, her hopes and prayers with them, begging a higher power to save them. Her thoughts turned to their son Neville and she begged with earnest that he wouldn't be left alone. As much as she tried to delay the inevitable she soon arrived at the locked doors of the Janus Thickey Ward. She waited but it didn't take long for someone to let her in.

She stood in front of their beds, Frank and Alice side by side, Frank seemed to deeply sleeping, Alice was sat up in the bed staring out of a nearby window, she seemed to be lost to far off thoughts.

"Alice…" she spoke tentatively, hoping her prayers had been answered, hoping she was still there. Alice turned her head, when she saw Lily she smiled weakly, her face was gaunt and tired looking, it was clear she had been through a lot.

"Lil" she spoke but her voice was as weak as she looked. Lily rushed over and embraced her.

"Oh Alice, I was so afraid! But your ok, your here" she held the woman close, but gentle. She hugged Lily back, but there was something lacking, "Are you ok?" Lily questioned, pulling back looking into Alice's eyes, there were tears just about to fall.

"No…" Alice whispered, "There was a lot of damage, damage that you can't see…" she trailed off.

"Alice, you can tell me, you can tell me anything!" she urged comfortingly, "You know when I found out I was a witch, I believed that anything was possible, we just need to find the right spell, the right potion, we can fix anything!" she smiled reassuringly.

"Oh Lily, we can work around so many of the laws of nature that muggles are used to, but there are laws of nature that even we cannot evade" she smiled at her younger friend. "Lily, the curse has not damaged me physically, luckily most of my mind is intact, but I find some things more difficult, things I may have to relearn and that's ok, but it's damaged my ability to use magic, and I don't think there is anything we can do about that" she smiled, resigned, tears silently running down her cheeks. "And Frank… we don't know what the damage will be, he endured so-" the lump in her throat cut off her words, she paused and took a breath, "He took so much more damage than me, endured for so much longer, I do not know how much of my Frank will be left." tears overtook her, Lily got into the bed next to her and just held her.

It took a while before Alice could talk again, they sat there for a long time, Lily holding her. As her friends breathing evened out, her tears dried up, Lily approached the topic again, "What do you know about Franks condition?" she whispered, so quietly and gently, like she was worried that it might break Alice to think about it.

"Nothing right now, he is still unconscious, we will only find out later." Lily smiled at her,

"See we don't know yet," she spoke a little louder but the same gentle tone, "You know as I walked up here, I was so afraid that you wouldn't be ok, that the damage would be too much, but I begged and prayed for you and Frank, and what I find is so much more than what I expected, why can that not happen for Frank too. And you still have Neville, he is safe and he is yours, we're in a world free from the Dark Lord, we have so much to be thankful for"

"How can you have so much hope?" Alice asked, she wasn't upset, she was confused by the young woman insistent at a happy ending.

"In the muggle world sometimes the law's of nature are broken, and not just because a witch or wizard has intervened, sometimes, something else intervenes, we call them miracles, it's something that happens beyond all reason and no one can explain except that maybe a higher power intervened, why can't a higher power intervene for you?" At this Alice smiled

"Really, a miracle?" Alice's hope was finally reignited, "Just like how we were found" she smiled.

"We had a spy, I can't say who, but he was the one that saved me and Harry, and then he gave Sirius the information he needed to find you, he did everything he could to find you" Lily smiled, thinking of the man she had managed to get back into her life.

"Not Snape?" Alice questioned

"What!" Lily asked, she tried to react nonchalantly, but the shock that was displayed instantaneously was a dead give away.

"You only spoke about two men with that look on your face, James, and when you told me how Snape _used_ to be,"

"It's a secret though…" she whispered.

"Are you ok? Is it confusing him being back, James being gone?"

"No, It's not confusing, Severus has been a huge comfort, but the pain of losing James is a constant, there isn't room to be confused about old feelings, I don't have space." This time Lily was the one that looked worn, she looked so tired with grief, "I get these moments of happiness, and Severus or Harry usually have something to do with it, but they don't change the way my heart is aching. Sometimes I just have a moment where I realise that he isn't out doing something for the Order, back in a few days, he's gone, he's really gone." she paused, she had needed this, she needed that 'sister in arms' "Sometimes I feel like I can't grieve, I can't let it out, because I need to be happy and be there for Harry, Harry needs a mum that isn't crying all the time, and Sirius and Remus, they lost him too, I have to look after them, and I know its cruel to cry in front of Severus, He feels guilty that he didn't get to him quick enough, so I have to smile and I feel like I might burst" Alice wrapped her arms around her friend and held her, it seemed like forever, but time came back to them when a nurse came and told them visiting times were over, Lily left, ensuring that she would be back very soon.

* * *

Before long Christmas was approaching, it would be a difficult holiday, the first without James, however the group of men that had surrounded her had already made plans to fill it so it would still feel like a family affair. Sirius was overly intrigued by the idea of a completely muggle Christmas, Severus not so much, being the main cook aside from Lily, he would rather 'magic' a meal than cook something that big from scratch. That was not everyone else opinion,

"I'm not going to lie, Severus, your food is better than anything I can magic up, Muggle made Christmas dinner sounds GREAT!" Remus was feeling particularly weak and pathetic at the moment as he had just recovered from last night's full moon. They had 14 days left until Christmas and he hoped his pathetic appearance would convince Severus to give him his wish.

"Obviously" Over enunciating as usual. He had already expressed his opinion on Remus' cooking, with the help of magic and without, both were described as 'abysmal'

With the loss of James hanging over them, Lily was determined to keep everyone occupied, everyone had been given jobs for the holidays, Remus was not in any position to leave the house, so he was minding Harry and wrapping presents. With everyone else out completing their various jobs, Remus struggled to wrap and keep Harry occupied, the amount of wrapping paper that Harry ruined was unreal. Thankfully the small selection of presents were hidden for Remus and Sirius would be wrapping them later.

"Harry!" Remus' remained in good temper, but was at his wits end trying to complete the wrapping, apparently children's presents came in lots of weird and wonderful shapes. It didn't help that he was groggy and exhausted, recovering from his last change. Harry having recently started saying Remus' name would clamber all over him,

"emus! emus!" Harry grabbed more and more paper pulling and ripping it as Remus struggled to wrap some glowing and smoking bath toys. Head in hands, Remus wished that he had been the one doing the shopping!

As Lily was the only one with a muggle driving licence, she and Severus went to go and get a tree, Sirius had been left with what he felt was the worst job, buying decorations and a list of things that Severus would need for Christmas dinner.

"I still think that Severus is better doing the shopping! It's got all his ingredients on the list after all." He really thought he made a good case, however Severus managed to worm his way out.

"If I get decorations they will be, Black, Silver and Green, the house will look like the Slytherin common room" His response left Remus and Lily in Severus' corner, Sirius would do the shopping, Severus smirked at Sirius irritated grimace.

With that Lily and Severus went to a local Christmas tree outlet, Severus' found the drive slow and irritating. But Lily loved a good car drive, she had Christmas tunes on and sang along the entire way home.

"I forgot how much you loved this…insufferable holiday!" There was no smile on his face, but you could hear it in his voice, it had nothing to do with the songs, the car or the holiday, but her happiness. Lily didn't even gauge his response, she was too busy singing 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus' Severus' shook his head smiling, something felt a little too much like it had at Hogwarts.

They pulled into a large park filled with Christmas Tree's. Lily dragged Severus who had already been forced to don _muggle wear._ Severus however looked much cooler in muggle clothes than he ever did in his bat like wizarding robes, he had kept to the same dark colours, black straight jeans, with pointed black shoes, black t-shirt, with a dark grey blazer, and a long, somewhat wizarding-robe-like coat and a very long chunky black scarf, he looked more like the frontman from a punk band than the Professor at a prestigious wizarding school. Lily thought it was amazing how the same sense of style seemed to have different connotations in the different societies, with the Muggles he was dark, mysterious and cool, yet the wizarding world found him imposing and menacing. Lily looked just perfect in Severus' opinion, she wore fitted jeans with a baggy t-shirt, big coat and a scarf, it was just normal really, but the way the wind blew her beautiful auburn around her face and her easy smile, she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the midst of all the trees.

"This one?" Severus questioned at the literal first tree he saw

"Severus" she spoke seriously, "This is supposed to be fun, you got to take your time, even if you see the perfect tree straight away" he looked at her like she was speaking a foreign language, "You know, I guess when you go to the Apothecary you take your time, smell all the stinky gut's and things you can, before you choose the one thats just the stinkiest" she joked, nudging him with her elbow.

"I literally just point at what I want" He kept his face straight, he knew it would make her giggle, that had been their jam, she was happy, fun and full of life and he was her straight-laced partner in crime. And of course she laughed. It was more than he hoped for, he had hoped she could see the old Snape enough to allow him to protect her and Harry, but to be considered a friend was out of the question in his mind, and yet now here he was, almost as if he was her best friend all over again, but he dared not hope. Linking him she pulled him further in. He looked around for the most depressing looking tree's.

"This little guy" he pointed at a brown and scrawny dehydrated looking tree,

"AWWW!" she squealed, as he had expected, "He looks sad Sev, we could make his Christmas!" and she pulled him further in. "I think not though…"

"I think this one is up Sirius' street?" He asked, still straight faced, and she giggles again, and he has to try and keep his face neutral, it was the simplest things that made him happy, had he heard that sound each morning when he woke, he would never have had to go to the Dark Lord, he would have been completely satisfied!

"Sirius, you think a fake hot pink tree is what would make Sirius' Christmas truly special?" She questioned with a mock serious tone.

"Yes" He added, "too embarrassed to admit it, but-" he trailed off as she giggled yet again.

"I don't think that's fair on Remus!" she added

"Nah, when he see's Sirius' eyes light up, that will make his Christmas special too!" He pulled her along and this is how it went until they found a beautiful tree that Lily loved, he paid close attention to a task he truly hated, all for her smile, he hoped it would help her forget that this is the first Christmas without the man she truly loved, a man he truly hated. In the end, he had managed to find her a beautiful full Christmas tree, like something out of those silly movies she had been watching so much lately. He bore the brunt of the lifting and heaved it on to the roof of the car himself, he did it all muggle style too, what would he do for Lily, as he told Dumbledore that night, 'anything'.

* * *

The next day it was Christmas eve, Severus was back for good, Remus, Lily, and Sirius had made the house perfect whilst Severus had been prepping his food, he ended up being glad about it, with the intense giddiness of decorating and spoiling Harry, some distance was truly appreciated. He also wanted distance from Lily, he realised that he had it good for the moment, but he knew things would come crashing down in a blaze of glory. Yesterday getting a silly tree had been too good, too happy, he knew it couldn't last, he put distance between himself and Lily, before his happiness was snatched away. There was also the surge of old feelings, feelings he knew had always been there, feelings that spurred him on to reject Voldemort, but now they were ever present and he knew they couldn't be reciprocated and therefore, feeling them, acknowledging them, was agony, it was like watching her start dating Potter all over again.

In the living room, the tree was decorated, red and gold, Gryffindor colours, he even managed to find baubles with lions on them for the tree. Harry at this point was walking about fairly confidently, he could say 'Siri' and 'Emus' as well, they never tired of hearing it. Harry didn't quite understand the tree but found it interesting and often sat there looking at the lights and they would twinkle, or he would cause the baubles to float, he learned and grew in the little bits of magic he could do as they all cheered whenever he did something. They had music on in the background and played until Harry fell asleep from pure exhaustion. The adults themselves settled with Christmas drinks, but it wasn't long after Harry had gone to bed that Lily felt James' absence, she found her smiles were now forced and she hated being with them all, she quickly made her excuses and went to bed, leaving the rest sat about together and slowly they all drifted off to bed one by one, Severus was last, wrapping up present's that he had got for everyone and placing them under the tree for the morning.

* * *

Christmas day soon arrived, the morning was spent in pj's around the tree, Sirius made a beautiful breakfast of pancakes, probably using magic, there were an assortment of toppings and none of them healthy and as soon as presents came out they lay forgotten at the side. Lily was right by the tree, Harry having present after present pushed under his nose, he soon learned to pull of the paper and if he cheered people where happy. After Harry had opened his present he walked his way across the room and picked up his trusty wand to play with.

Severus had remained to the side most of the morning, but took the opportunity to pull out some presents, neatly wrapped in green paper with silver ribbon. They were all the exact shape, except for one. He handed them each a small parcel and Lily got a slightly larger one as well. "A little something" he said simply. They all tore off the packaging to find a small leather notebook, each with their name printed in gold.

"Thanks" said Sirius simply, and placing it to one side

"I have one that's identical," Severus continued, "I felt that in the coming years a method of discreet communication would be needed" he paused.

Remus opened his notebook and found a bottle of ink and quill,

"Any message you write in your notebook can be directed to all the notebooks or to any of the others, the message will appear in their notebook instantly, once read it will disappear, each book can also only be ready by it's owner" Severus continued

Remus was writing a message in note book.

"the other one is for Harry, it is more for putting memories in… you take photos a lot" he finished somewhat lamely

"Hay, mine just warmed up!" Lily opened the book to see a message from Remus, " _Merry Christmas Rosylocks_ ," she read "haha, I love it!" Leaning over she hugged Severus, giving him a gift from herself. "And your right, these will be very useful" she spoke into his robes as she hugged him deeply.

He pulled off the paper and found a potions book, but not just any, it was a 1st Edition, which is much more impressive in the wizarding world, of ' _Moste Potente Potions'_ Severus' face said it all, it was an incredibly rare find, "Lily-" He gasped, "It's-" He stuttered again "Wonderful!" he exclaimed.

"You're Welcome" she smiled, he couldn't take his eyes from hers, her ability to forgive and forget was overwhelming him, maybe they would remain friends, just maybe it wouldn't fall apart.

"So the potions ingredients I got are gonna look sh-" Sirius was quickly shut up by Remus hit him behind the head and handed Severus their presents, an assortment of rarer ingredients.

"Thank you" he looked at them both in shock, he hadn't expected a thing and here somehow Remus had managed to get him some Arcomantula Venom, where as Sirius had managed to get his hands on a vial of _'Felix Felicis'_ Severus looked truly grateful. The others exchanged their gifts, Sirius and Remus had worked together on a locket that had her and James' images magically engraved on the inside, as with all magical images they moved and smiled, though unfortunately not much more.

"Thank you" she choked, a single tear fell down her cheek, she immediately put the locket round her neck, and touched it affectionately, they were all silent, all taking a moment to think of the one that was missing. Even Severus, he had to admit, seeing James' sacrifice for his family, it changed his opinion slightly, he was slightly less bitter, slightly less angry, but he imagined that this was Lily's presence in his life, without her, his hatred would likely only grow.

Lily had gotten Sirius and Remus season tickets for her favourite Quidditch team, the only all female line up; The Holyhead Harpies! This was appreciated and yet the jokes about girls playing a mans sport were made, somewhat obligatorily.

The day managed to pass much easier than Lily could have imagined, she missed James terribly, when she saw Harry playing with a toy broom, or snuggled up in a Quidditch blanket she thought of James and that he was missing these precious moments she often felt the pull on her heart and the need for a moment, many tears were shed, but she wasn't alone, and that was all she could be thankful for right now.

* * *

Severus was back in Hogwarts after the holidays. He started to get into the swing of his new life, being a teacher, being in the Order, they were new to Severus and it was definitely an adjustment, he didn't see Lily as much as he would like anymore, he found teaching to be demanding, he was strict and would often have many essays to mark, potions to test, and was forever spending his spare time in detentions with students that he had punished. He enjoyed the simple life of planning a complex enough lesson for each year group and though he would never admit it to anyone but he also enjoyed punishing them, it felt like a good outlet for the natural sadistic streak that he had.

He found students struggled with him after having Professor Slughorn, he was a man that doted on the best and ignored the worst, Severus found he operated in the opposite way, he would dole out his criticisms to those that failed to get better results and ignored those that had done well. Frivolous praise wasn't something that he had agreed with. He also found that choosing a student that was particularly inept to put most of the pressure on spurred some of the other students to try harder, less they be the ones that gain the feared Professors disapproval. It was not long before he had a rather fearsome reputation.

It was during a supervised study session in the great hall that he realised just how much of a fearsome reputation that had. He roamed the hall, with his black robes billowing behind him, a look that was already being considered a signature. He found that any area of the hall that he resided in would remain silent, and it was almost a challenge to catch those not doing work, but he tried, the Gryffindors, they tended to be a bit braver about it. There were a group of Gryffindor 6th years that were particularly bothersome.

"i just think if we were able to take a more aggressive stance we would be able to beat Slytherin" A taller skinner boy said, he was the seeker and captain if Severus remembered rightly. He stood behind them waiting.

"I don't know mate - I think play smart is the best bet, Slytherin have pretty much gone thug over brains this year" a stockier beater looking boy said.

"I think you should work on this potions assignment," Severus interrupted, "by the looks of that essay, you will be lucky to get 'Poor' though most likely 'TROLL'" Overstating the last word. They clearly hadn't been aware that he was stood behind them watching, their faces drained of colour.

Thinking he had walked away the students put there heads down as though working, "You know my dad said that he was a Death Eater…apparently he fed Dumbledore some crap so he would vouch for him" the skinnier boy whispered.

"That would be _Professor_ Dumbledore to you, and report to me this and every Friday evening for detention" he paused, musing how many Friday's he wanted to give up, "for the next month" with that he turned on his heel and walked away to where a couple of Hufflepuffs where daring to talk.

He didn't really know how he felt about the rumours that were going around. He knew that they were useful, if people believed he conned Albus then surely in the event that the Dark Lord rises his cover is likely intact, however the constant taint of his past made him feel uneasy, unable to escape from it, and if he could never escape it, how could Lily, he felt sure it was a sign that he would never be able to keep what he had been able to get back when he walked away.

He found that he didn't initially have a good relationship with staff either, most of them believed much as the students did, and it felt very much like his only ally was the man that was back and forth to the Ministry and in actual fact rarely there. As time went on he found that various teachers warmed to him. The Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, seemed somewhat suspicious, although Professor McGonagall, unbeknownst to him, had shared suspicions with Dumbledore and had then been privy to some information about Severus, since she had warmed to him somewhat, they were not what he would call friends, but colleagues that were able to work well together and even have civilised discussions about school life and how things were ran. Many of the teachers were what Severus would describe as soft, not Minerva, she was just as strict as he was at times, though had a proclivity to go easy on students on occasion, she had often tried to explain why, but often the only reply she would receive was a curt look and a raised eyebrow.

The first year at Hogwarts had been difficult, and yet he found that he was able to get a healthy respect and fear from his students, reasonable working relationships, and at he end of the year the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher had a nervous breakdown and quit, Severus heard that it had something to do with a Death Eater on staff, though Dumbledore would only say that the job was in fact 'cursed' something that he had not admitted to anyone else. As they were coming up to the summer holidays Severus' called on the professor to discuss the position.

"Albus, I have come to discuss the Defence Against the Dark Arts position" Severus' sat in front of the headmaster in his circular office, the portraits of various heads mounted around stared at him curiously, he was aware that the portraits were loyal to whichever Headmaster was there, he felt slightly at odds that all these portraits knew his history, his current situation, all of them great witches and wizards, he wondered what they thought as they looked down on him.

"It is out of the question of course" Albus replied simply. "I have told you that the post is cursed, each year without fail I loose that member of staff in one way or another, and at this time I think we need to keep you in Hogwarts."

"I would understand Professor if you felt that job was too big a temptation for me, I would assure you that it is not, I have picked my side, I won't be lured back to the Dark Arts, but I am most qualified for the post!" He continued, he eyed Albus, he clearly didn't buy his 'the job is cursed' story.

"I agree, whole heartedly," He eyed the man before him, "Trust is not the issue, I would trust you with my life Severus, however that does not change that Tom Riddle cursed the job when I refused to give it to him" He hoped the young Professor would see that it was true, but he knew this was a man that didn't necessarily trust easily so he added; "When I am certain the post is safe, I promise it will be yours" he smiled a warm smile.

The final weeks of the school year passed without incident, he had exam papers to collect and final lessons, but overall it was much more relaxed. The decision had already been made to mark all his final grades in the first week of the holidays. So much had changed over the last eight months, and he found himself, whilst quite the same Severus he had always been, more looking forward to going back to the house where he had been stationed to protect. There were things that would need to be focused on, like searching out for Peter Pettigrew. Perfecting the child's safety, though it seemed that everyone had seemed to relax in this, Death Eaters were mostly caught or dead, there was no word on where Voldemort was. He worried that given the circumstance he would be relegated to the side lines until danger was close by.

* * *

The death eater trials had pretty much finished, the mood began to lighten, there was a national relax within the wizarding community, this was similar in the house where 'The Boy Who Lived' was hidden.

Frank was awake now, and whilst his loss was greater, he was able to go home with Alice after a two month of rehabilitation. Alice was able to start using magic again, but she would never be able to do anything complex, the Healer told them that the curse causes pain in the mind and soul and so that is where the damage is, and the part of the brain that received the most damage is connected to their magical understanding, and the soul which carries the magic, unfortunately it would be virtually impossible to rebuild as the damage was so extensive, but Alice would try. Frank was not so lucky, he was virtually a muggle and the damage had extended to his memory which was now fairly poor, he had to be reminded that he had Neville, but after a while things would stick, however the families lives would never be the same. Alice had clung to Lily's words of hope and saw the miracle that she had in a healthy family, although they were not particularly magical anymore, there was nothing wrong with that, it would just be an adjustment.

Remus had started to look healthier and more whole after nearly a year on the wolfsbane potion. He and Severus spoke eagerly about looking at possible improvements to the potion. Severus wondered if he would be able to use the potion, or a version of the potion to heal those who were bitten, just after they were bitten. This new area of study had developed Remus and Severus relationship, Remus placed his trust in Severus' hands each month, and Severus started to feel like he might have something like a friend in Remus, finding they had more common ground, Remus was shocking when it came to potions, but Severus found he was a highly intelligent man and that he had a lot to bring to the research. Sirius was still another matter, trust was no longer an issue since he helped with Frank and Alice, however there were a lot of personality clashes, a lot of ways to rub each other up the wrong way, and for Severus, there was still a lot of pain, a lot of forgiveness he wanted to give out, though always finding that he still hadn't quite managed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the love on this one so far, please kudos and comment :)


	6. The Tale of Babbitty Rabbity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> '999! I need help, Harry has been taken from Diagon Alley,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I don't own Harry Potter
> 
> Contains the Tale of Babbitty Rabbity taken from JK Rowling's writing
> 
> Not as much dialogue here as this is more of a passage of time chapter, I kept it to this one chapter and it's due to not having a major event in this chapter.

 Chapter 6 - The Tale of Babbitty Rabbity

It was the morning before Harry's second birthday, thirtieth July. Things had settled down more in the Wizarding world, but the that really wasn't something that Lily and the others were supposed to be interested in. They had gone 'full muggle', well for the most part, Sirius and Remus were still hunting Peter, the trail seemed only to get colder and colder, this would sometimes lead them into the wizarding world, but the belief was that Peter wouldn't want to draw attention to himself, therefore he was likely to be surviving as a rat in the wild, or even trying to make it as a muggle. The latter was far less likely as they figured he wouldn't be too good at play acting muggle and would stick out like a sore thumb, Lily was fed up of people underestimating Peter, and demanded that it be looked into as well. Severus was primarily in the wizarding world as he still worked at Hogwarts, and this is where they got most of their news, they didn't even get the daily prophet delivered. So the plan was to have a very muggle birthday for Harry, they wanted to make it particularly special as Severus would be going back to Hogwarts for a month. Things had changed here, and they would miss him, though Severus and Sirius could still get at each other's throats, and Severus was hard to like sometimes, he was still the cold harsh man that he had always been, that soft centre seemed only to peep out at opportune moments and only for Lily.

Sirius was supposed to be doing the shopping for Harry's birthday today and buying his present, everyone had been quite prepared and already gotten gifts, but Sirius was, as always, a lot more lax about things. He was even lax about shopping, he was getting fed up with the muggle life and wanted to make Harry's party something special. Now part of Harry's protection was to keep him away from the wizarding world, he, of course, would grow up knowing he was a wizard, but they would keep him from an environment where witches and wizards that had escaped going to Azkaban or had leanings towards Voldemorts agenda might seize the opportunity whilst he was still just a child. Lily also wanted him to grow up normal, not a child celebrity, which is what he was destined to become at eleven anyway. However Sirius didn't think about these things, he thought about the best present he could get, he thought about the best kids party, he thought about getting away from this muggle life. This finds Sirius taking a two-year-old Harry to Diagon Alley.

It was in Quality Quidditch Supplies that Sirius failed to stay on the ball. He was so busy looking at the latest broom in the Nimbus series, he didn't notice as the invisibility cloak slipped off Harry's pushchair, Sirius was in a world of his own, he wasn't watching as a young ginger-haired boy noticed the little baby, his eyes bulged when he saw the scar on the toddlers face.

"DAD! DAD! IT'S HARRY POTTER!" he shouted and his entire red-headed family turn round to see Sirius Black, famed auror pushing a pram which appeared to be floating due to the invisibility cloak being wrapped around the wheels, inside was a sleeping Harry with the well-known scar on his forehead. That is when all the craziness started to happen, people everywhere wanted photos of the boy who lived.

"IT'S HARRY POTTER EVERYONE!" shouts came from everywhere and there was pushing and shoving from every direction. Sirius was finally aware of what was going on, but more and more people were shoving. It was getting more and more difficult to see who was vying for Harry's attention. It didn't take long before Harry was in tears, Sirius was unable to get to the front of the pram to comfort him. It was then that a very motherly red headed witch picked Harry up to soothe him;

"Oh dear, hush-hush," she soothed him, but it was no use, people now swarmed her trying to get a look at the miraculous child, only now Harry was more upset and more exposed.

"Excuse me!" Sirius called over to the woman, but in all the commotion she wasn't able to hear him. "EXCUSE ME!" He shouted again and was able to at least get the woman to look at him, "OUTSIDE!" he shouted, hopefully, he could get this under control.

Back outside, things got even more out of hand, Harry, after all, was either adored or despised, there were many that felt if only they could get rid of Harry then they would get their Dark Lord back and on with the glory days. The street was more and more hectic and in the midst of the fuss, a man took Harry from the wonderful ginger woman. Black just caught sight of him, it was none other than Igor Karkaroff, a known Death Eater that somehow had wormed his way out of Azkaban, and he had Harry Potter. Sirius' heart stopped as he watched the man walking away with his Godson.

* * *

Severus was in his study sorting out his lesson plans and packing all the essentials for his return to Hogwarts. He was absent-minded in his packing and musing about young Harry's party. Although he found it hard to openly admit, though he would discreetly show it, he cared for the little child. He was delightful and happy and completely innocent, it was hard to watch someone who was completely innocent without a strong affection growing, and that is what Severus had, a strong affection. He delighted in thinking up new substances, bubble shapes and smokes to have come from the boys pretend wand, and was always on hand to remind Lily of the camera that they had been using to mark important milestones. He took delight in developing the pictures himself and watching the little boy move through the motions of various milestones whilst he waited for them to be ready to share. It wasn't just Harry that he did this for, he loved the look in her eyes when she accepted them, or even the look on her face in an evening when she would flick through the pictures with a cup of tea with a delicate smile, it wasn't the big moments that Severus craved with Lily, but all the little ones sewn together making the beautiful tapestry of the new everyday life that he had somehow found himself sharing with her.

It was in the middle of his musing that he felt the small notebook in his breast pocket heat up. He thought it must be more silly messages between Sirius and Remus, they had really not gotten the whole idea, he had thought the last time that he had spoken to them that they would get it and pack it in, at least that was the impression that he was left with. He tried to ignore the heat, but it became hotter and hotter, something that it was only supposed to do when someone wrote '999' It was the muggle emergency number, not really known amongst wizards, but Lily and Severus thought that this made it the perfect SOS code for them, no one would really think about what it was. He couldn't bare ignoring it anymore, thinking that if it was an emergency he would surely feel terrible for not acting, and even worse if something had happened to Sirius or Remus, he had after all grown to, well not care about them, be it would bother him if they suffered a painful death, he could stretch to care, possibly, for Remus. He pulled the small leather booklet from his pocket and opened it;

' _999! I need help, Harry has been taken from Diagon Alley, Igor Karkaroff has him. HELP! I don't know where to find him!'_

Severus formed a plan, he needed a way to keep his cover, but get the child to safety, within a few moments he wrote some instructions to Sirius and Lupin then he apparated. He found himself outside Malfoy Manor, it seemed to be the centre for all things Death Eater these days. This was something that he had been keeping up with, upholding the cover and staying in with the news. For instance, Igor had taken up residence with Narcissa Malfoy since Lucius' death, he was now in control of the Malfoy estate until the child became of age. He walked through the gates, the same gates he had walked through to give his last piece of intelligence, the gates that he practically ran out of desperation to save Lily's life. But he couldn't think like that, Igor was a fair Legillimens so his mind needed to be locked down. Knocking on the front door he waited.

"Severus" came Narcissa's sweet voice, she was dressed all in black and her hair was held up elegantly, ice blonde like her deceased husband, she had a snowy complexion with bright blue eyes, she was stunningly beautiful, tall and slim, though she had a cold harsh look about her. She held open her arms in welcome. "Come in" she finished.

"I must talk to Igor, Narcissa, I have heard that he kidnapped the Potter boy!" he finished urgently. He walked straight past her into the entrance hall but no further, he stood there waiting, Narcissa did not make efforts to get Igor, she looked at him somewhat puzzled. "It is _urgent_ Narcissa… NOW!" he stressed.

"It is good that we have the boy! It will help us to bring back the Dark Lord, Karkaroff has an idea that the boy's death would bring our Lord back." Narcissa didn't even flinch at the idea of taking a child's life.

"So you have no issue killing a child not much younger than your own Draco?" He looked at her, he face was unsure for a moment

"This is war Severus" was all her reply

"Exactly, you think that the Order is careless with Harry? You think he has the real child? Or maybe that it is a ruse so they can trace remaining supporters and finish them off! Black is barbaric, he is after the head of any Death Eater, He is out for blood, anyone that can lead him to the spy that sold out Potter!" He spoke with conviction, he almost believed himself, his mind was completely sealed though he felt probing, the trick was to appear not to be on guard and yet annoyed by the intrusion. "Narcissa… don't even try" he said with disdain, allowing a quick flash of Hogwarts and lesson planning.

"Are you sure about your intelligence?" she asked,

"I overheard Black planning it with Dumbledore myself, I didn't think there was anyone stupid enough to take the bait, I can't be handing out intelligence too much, the old fool doesn't trust me yet." He continued his tirade in his usual drawl.

"What do we do?" she asked.

"We remove the child immediately…I will take them, hopefully, Dumbledore doesn't suspect me of being involved right now, and I can get the child back to Diagon Alley, maybe abandon it near Knockturn Alley, it would seem that whoever took the child realised their mistake and left the child before going too far!" He spoke urgently

"The child may die in the cold Severus!" she exclaimed, now that the child was no longer a mission to getting the Dark Lord back, her motherly instinct kicked in. It was just as he had hoped.

"This is a war, there are casualties" and in that sentence, his fearsome reputation was intact. Narcissa clicked her fingers and a small house elf arrived;

"Dobby, you will fetch me Igor this instant" The pathetic little elf disapperated immediately and was there in a moment with Igor who held a small child, Harry. Severus held out his arms, expecting the child.

"What is the meaning of this?" he refused to hand over the child.

"Igor… it is a trap, this is not even the real Harry Potter, they have tracked the brat and will be following with Aurors, the child needs to disappear now, or you will be in Azkaban and I doubt Narcissa will escape it this time." Severus was getting irate, impatient now, he needed to be out of there quick otherwise he would be stuck playing Death Eater when Sirius and Remus arrived.

"Prove it," he said and Severus felt his mind being probed, he carefully revealed a memory, a handcrafted memory of Sirius and Albus discussing decoys, only a snippet before;

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" he shouted at Karkaroff, he removed a hand from his robes, where there had been a potion of his own making, a small amount on his thumb, he wiped Harrys forehead, and the glamour potion covered the scar "It is not the child" he spoke and took the child from Karakoffs arms.

* * *

He held the child tightly and apparated on the spot, finding himself holding very sick baby back in his study. Severus knew that apparating with the child would be risky, but he needed to get away, for the child's greater safety, immediately he pulled out his notebook and scrawled hurriedly;

' _Harry is safe…storm Malfoy Manor, stick to the story… the child was a decoy'_

He was now stuck with a child that had puked on his black robes, the rest of them already packed. Harry cried and cried, the discomfort from apparating being much too much for the toddler. The child looked up at the man holding him, tears pouring down his little face. The house is empty he was the only one there to comfort, he held the child close and rocked him from side to side as he walked around the house, he pulled many of the child's favourite toys but nothing seemed to work, eventually, Severus started to read to Harry;

_A long time ago, in a land far far away, a King decides to keep all the magic in the world for himself. In order to get all the magic, he needs to gather all the witches and wizards in the world, so he forms the Brigade of Witch-Hunters, armed with packs of wild dogs. But first, he needs to learn how to use magic, so he calls for someone with magical abilities to teach him. No would respond, but a Muggle pretends to be a Wizard and offers to teach him, despite not knowing any magic himself._

_Soon, the Muggle teacher demands money and treasures for his services, and he hides all these objects in his small house. Babbitty, the king's washerwoman, hides and watches the Muggle as he pulls two twigs from a tree and later pretends these are wands._

_While the king and the Muggle are practising, they hear Babbitty laughing hysterically from her cottage. This enrages the King, who demands that the Muggle help him perform in front of his subjects to show off his new abilities. The Muggle tries to back out by saying he has to go out of town, and cannot help him, but the King threatens to send the Brigade of Witch-Hunters after him, and if anyone laughs while the King is performing, the Muggle will be beheaded. The Muggle heads to Babbitty's house, where he spies on her and finds out that she is a real witch. He asks her to help him, or he'll expose her._

_Amused, Babbitty agrees to help out the poor Muggle. He tells Babbitty that she will hide in the bush tomorrow, and make it seem as if the King himself can do magic. While they perform, the crowd is astonished by the disappearance of a hat and a levitating horse; then, one of the members of the brigade asks if the King can make his dead dog return to life. The King tries, but Babbitty does nothing because she knows no magic cannot raise the dead. The crowd laughs at the King, and the King wants to know why the spell isn't working. The Muggle points to the bush and says a wicked witch is blocking them. Babbitty runs from the bush, and when the hounds chase after her she "disappears", leaving the dogs barking at a tree._

_The Muggle tells the crowd that Babbitty turned into the tree and that the tree must be cut down because she is an "evil" witch. The crowd is wild, and the tree is cut down. As the crowd starts to leave, they hear a cackling coming from the stump. Babbitty tells the crowd that real wizards and witches cannot be cut in half and that they should cut the Muggle in half to prove it. The Muggle confesses he is a fraud, and Babbitty tells them that the King is cursed, and he'll feel an axe stroke every time a witch or wizard is harmed._

_So the King makes a proclamation declaring that witches and wizards are protected and that they must not be harmed. Babbitty demands a statue be built of herself, to remind everyone what has been decreed. The King promises it will be done and erects a statue of her made of gold. Soon after, an old rabbit appears out of a hole in the stump with a wand in its mouth, revealing that Babbitty has been hiding in her Animagus form, and she leaves the kingdom. Forever after, the statue of Babbitty remains on top of the stump, and no witch or wizard is ever hurt in that kingdom ever again._

Before long Harry was lay asleep in Severus' arms and he felt quite content, placing him in his crib upstairs he waits, waits for Sirius who will be hearing it tonight. The anger he felt was so protective and yet stemmed more from the duty he held from promising Lily he would do anything to protect the child, he was angry that the child had to go through the ordeal, angry with the worry felt wondering if he would be too late. Severus was furious.

* * *

After the previous evening where Sirius had been thoroughly spoken to by not just Severus, but also Remus and Lily, they had a wonderful day of spoiling Harry, they had presents, cake, and lots of very childish fun. Peek a boo had been replaced with 'hide and seek'. Harry's wand was now able to spew out petals, lily petals to be precise, this meant that the entire floor was coated with soft white petals, despite the thoughtfulness, Lily was not thanking Severus for that one. A few short weeks after Harry's birthday it was time for Severus to go back to Hogwarts, it had been a long holiday and Lily had loved every moment of it. But Severus had lots of work to be done and had left it much later than he should have, they had a good bye meal on a late evening in mid August, Severus had sent his trunk a head of him, he stood in the large kitchen, the kitchen where he was used to cooking for the strange rag tag family that had evolved over the last year, only Lily was there to say good bye, she hugged him tightly, longer than she would usually, not wanting to let go she pulled away, her arms lingering around his back, then pulling them quickly when she felt the pang of guilt for thinking about another man. He looked at her, keeping his heart on lockdown, a tendril of hair was in her face and he fought the urge to brush it behind her ear, he imagined he would caress her face, feeling her soft skin, instead he took a small hand full of floo powder and was gone in an instant.

* * *

 

Lily found that she missed Severus more than she thought she would. It had been a long two months and she now found herself facing October 31st on her own. Remus and Sirius had felt that they had finally got a good trail on Peter and apologised but were unwilling to let the lead go to waste. Knowing that she would in fact be alone she set to getting Harry settled to bed early, keeping busy was the order of the night, there were so many things that she would be able to do; cleaning the house, washing and ironing everyone's robes, organising the kitchen cupboards, organising Severus' potion ingredients, then there was a bottle of red with her name on it. She would be able to settle down to some good old fashion muggle TV, drink up and fall asleep. The idea is that her mind would not need to go to the night the year before.

So with her evening decided she had stormed through the house cleaning and polishing everything, it was as she was collecting used robes for the wash that she heard the floo, the familiar noise that accompanied the green flames and there in the hearth stood someone who would change the direction of her night. Severus. It was completely natural, he saw her sorting through a pile of robes and placing them in two different baskets, lights and darks, and simply joined her in the task.

"So how are your classes?" Lily eventually interrupted their quite comfortable silence

"Terrible… just like last year" his deadpan voice replied, though a slight smile was there if you had the attention to notice it. "I'd much rather be here sorting Sirius' dirty draws!" he glanced at her, she smiled glad to have some company, better company than she had hoped for.

"Well I am living the life, there is nothing I love more than slaving over three men and one baby!" She chuckled easily

"That sounds one of those terrible muggle movies you watch so much"

"You should give them a go" she laughed, "There's one called Notting Hill, I think you'd love it"

"Sounds awful, like the dirty undies your sorting" 

"Well, it's not just Sirius' dirty draws, I have Remus' too, and potty training!"

"Well I have a house of about of 70 hormonal teenage imbeciles" he sneered, he paused for a moment, raised his eyebrow "Beat that" he continued.

"And that's just your house, lets not add all those irritating Gryffindors you just simply MUST deduct points from" she giggled adding the clothes to the washer whilst Severus had started magically drying and folding those that came out.

"Life is such a hardship!" he smiled at her, a rare full smile, meant only for her.

"So how about a glass of wine? Can you with classes tomorrow?" she asked putting the powder in the machine and setting it going.

"I have first years in the morning" he scowled, "Honestly I think it's a requirement" he pulled out two glasses and it wasn't long before they were on the couch a glass in hand.

"Why did you come tonight?" Lily asked nervously

"I didn't think you should be alone" he said simply, looking directly into her eyes, despite the smile on her face, the fear of how she would feel tonight was clearly displayed, she was by no means an Occlumens, looking into those eyes he could see every thought and feeling, at least he thought he could.

"Thank you, I really needed… someone... tonight" she sounded so unsure to Severus, but the look in her eyes was thankful for his presence. "I think I wanted to ignore it, but I know I can't, I don't want to spend my life stuck grieving" she paused, her eyes read like she was fearful or unsure, uncertain of what she was saying, "Is that awful, that I want to move on after just a year?" and there it was, she was stuck between wanting to go forward and fear that doing so was a disservice to the man she loved.

"You can move forward and still honour him, anyone who expects anything less is not worth the hassle" he pulled her into his side on the couch and held her to him, her head under his chin, he thought about a kiss to her head, second guessing he stopped himself. The thought of him having to watch her love another man that wasn't him tightened around his heart, almost unable to breathe at the fear of it.

"What man could accept that Severus? Knowing that James would always be a part of my life, no matter how much time passed?" she asked, leaning into him

"One that understands your worth" He spoke remorsefully, encouraging her on a path, a path that led away from him. With that neither spoke for a while, they sipped the wine in their hands, and lily moved a little closer, moved her spare arm round, pulling closer to his side. It was here that she felt so comfortable and so guilty. Severus spent the night listening to her talk about James and how they had made so many plans for Harry, that what had brought them together was the defensive classes with Albus, she spoke about the various 'adventures' they had as part of the Order, how he had been the only one there when her parents had died, that Petunia had herself had become estranged from the moment the funeral was over. She talked about how hard it was to know that her sister had a child Harry's age that he should be friends with and yet that was something that she knew she would never be able to hope for.

She told Severus about the last conversation and the ultimatum that she had been given, that Lily was to have nothing to do with her and Vernon. She spoke about how she had tried to reach out, writing, muggle post of course, inviting her to the wedding, telling her about Harry. Petunia had returned the letters unopened. She spoke about her fear of Harry being too much like his father, off looking for adventure and with his life knowing that his adventures could be a lot more dangerous than becoming illegal animagus. Severus listened, he didn't move from her side and she didn't move from where she sat snuggled at his side. Eventually she feel asleep and Severus placed her gently on the couch, resting her head on pillows and covering her with blankets from her bed, automatically he checked on the little boy was sound asleep in his own room, and then he floo'd himself back to the castle, thinking as sad a night that this was for Lily, tonight had been pretty brilliant for him.

* * *

Lily woke the next morning to the shouts of her little man, Harry. She found herself on the sofa with pillows beneath her dead and blankets over her, so comfortable she could never believe that she had slept on the couch. She got up immediately magicking her bedding away and making her way up to her shouting child. It wasn't long before they were both ready and at the table with breakfast, Harry in his high chair with a bowl of cereal which he half ate and half unceremoniously threw about the lovely clean kitchen. She sat reading an old Daily prophet that Severus had left for her the previous night, there was no new news. She had heard nothing from Remus and Sirius and they had been on the trial for a few days. She checked the notebook that Severus had given her, not a single message. She thought about adding a message and then thought better of it, it had only been 3 days, they would be ok. She knew she would have a busier day as she had organised a play date for Harry and Neville, this was mainly so the older witch would be able to help her sort out the absolute mess that was her head and heart.

She was ready and out of the door, into the car and feeling nervous a little before 12. It amazed her that still, it took so long to get things ready with a little one. Her car was magically altered by Sirius to aid her in travelling long distances, the Longbottoms after all lived much further north than Lily who had taken residence in south wales, a rural area that would keep them well out of site. The alterations that had been made to the car however would keep her discreetly hidden from muggles and would travel much quicker, this was great as it didn't take too long to visit anyone in the country but it was much safer for Harry than travelling by Floo. When she arrived in the little village of Barnton, Cheshire, she slowed down, not wanting to go home, yet afraid of being with her friend, there was only honesty with Alice. She dreaded what she would hear, the guilt she felt for being so close to Severus the previous night weighed on her. Eventually, she pulled up beside the woman's house, she sat for a moment debating, and yet realising that the weight couldn't be released until she opened up to someone and she was the only one that she could open up to safely.

She knocked on the solid wooden door to a beautiful detached home with ivy creeping up and around the walls, she could smell honey suckle in the homely garden and lavender sprang out of the window boxes, adding its delicate tones to the beautiful aroma. It didn't take long for Alice to answer;

"Lily!" she smiled, neville was waddling behind her, his chubby little arms grasping at his mums clothes. "Come in!"

Lily walked into the comfortable home, it was a tad old fashioned for Lily's liking, but then Alice was a little older than her. Lily was relaxed in the fact that for the first hour they talked toddlers and watched the two youngsters play, Harry had brought a few favourites and Neville loved the little wand that Harry had brought, but it true toddler fashion did not want to share his precious toy. As the play settled and the wand was hidden away Lily and Alice settled watching with a cup of tea.

"How is Frank?" Lily began, she didn't want to get right into her terrible choices right now, and she had been happy that they had survived their attack but had been so worried about the repercussions for them. She was hoping for something more positive.

"Well Frank hasn't really made much more progress, he remembers Neville all time now, and that is something, he's still the man I love, just without magic or a brilliant memory" she smiled softly, "It's not as bad as we thought,"

"What about St Mungo's, do they have any answers for you?" she probed, it was a good topic, it kept her of her own issues.

"They give him potions for memory and restorative potions, he has weekly checks ups, but nothing works, he said he feels somewhat like a lab rat!" she laughed nervously

"How about you? Are you ok?" she took a sip of her tea, Alice did seem a lot better, but she knew it was hard, Lily didn't know how she would handle it, and she was very comfortable with a muggle life.

"I have been able to do some small charm work, I keep practicing, but I wouldn't pass the first year with what I can do if I'm honest" this time the small laugh was more at ease. "I'm handling it all a lot better, It was what you said about muggle miracles, I'm lucky to have what I have, I would have stooped into a full blown depression without your support this year!" she smiled at the younger witch. "Anyway, how is your far more interesting life, 3 men and a baby!"

"Well, its more me and a baby at the moment, I have been really worried about Remus and Sirius, they have been tracking wormtail for a while now. Severus is mainly at Hogwarts, but he came by last night, I was so glad he came, I thought last night would be awful, a year to the day, I was dreading it, but he turned up and …" she stopped the guilt rose up again "I can talk to him, it's the kind of friendship we had before, you know-" she stopped, her throat was dry, her eyes filled with guilt and shame.

"Did…did something happen with Severus?!" Alice smiled

"NO! Heavens no, we talked, he listened, I told him sort of how I had been feeling, but how I have been feeling wrecks me with guilt, it's only been a year, I want to move on, but I feel like I would be betraying him, I love James, I miss him, I shouldn't want to move on so soon, I should be grieving, not enjoying another mans company!"

"Whoa" Alice soothed her, "Hunny, slow it down, you can love another and still love James and honour his memory, It's not like James ever did anything, if you let that argument win out now, you will never be able to move on, always tied to honouring his memory, you deserve more."

"Severus said something similar…" tears started to spill and she wiped them away urgently, "I didn't mention feelings for a specific person, I just said I didn't want to grieve anymore, how can I not want to grieve anymore, am I being dishonourable to him, to James?" she questioned

"No, your heart shows in how torn you are, its clear you miss him and love him, but you have loved Severus for a long time as well," she paused and looked at Lily who was unwilling to meet her eyes, "Lily, look at me!" she spoke more sternly, "He was a friend, a friend you loved, a friend who hurt you deeply and that seems to have reemerged, possibly because your seeing a far better man than you ever saw before, it's not dishonourable to feel love again after loosing so much." The guilt didn't leave her friends eyes, "What happened, you haven't acted on anything, why do you look so guilty?" her voice still soothing

"He came and helped me with the washing, then we sat and talked with a glass of wine, we talked about anything and everything, the hurt from petunia, my parents dying, I even spoke about how afraid I was that I wouldn't be able to fully move on, that I would always want to honour James and that this might leave me alone forever, then he pulled me to his side and told me that it was completely ok to be able to have both, I said what man would accept that, he pulled me closer and I wrapped my arm around him, I cried a little, he said 'One that understands your worth'" she cried a little, "I stayed there hugging him and talking all night until I fell asleep, and it felt, not good, but like I wasn't in it alone and that it would be all ok, and I wake and he's gone back to Hogwarts, and all I feel is guilt, like I betrayed James, like I cheated." she finished.

"O.k. hun. No." she was being more blunt and harsh with her now, "It's been a year, and your still confused about all this, but you didn't cheat, you made a step forward, and this is a step forward, your recovering, please tell me that you believe James would want you to recover, move on?" She didn't wait for an answer, it was a statement, "I think you need to take your time, you need to learn not to beat yourself up about this, but honestly you have done nothing wrong, he comforted you, because he cares, or at least I hope he does cause if not I will summon what remaining magic I have left and unforgivable his ass if he hurts you!" she smiled, she saw that the weight was slowly lifting from Lily and the guilt left her eyes, she was able to relax and they spent the rest of the afternoon chatting about things that normal mums of toddlers talk about; potty training, new words and fun games that keep children entertained for hours.

* * *

The next months were harder for Lily, she felt like she was constantly fighting the guilt that she felt and worried about what she looked like to Severus, but also to Remus and Sirius, she was sure that they would all see what was going through her head, the conflict and the feelings that she was trying to contain. She didn't feel like she could act on anything, she felt trapped and constantly had to remind herself of Alice's words.

Remus and Sirius had been on Peter's trail for weeks, they had given up shortly after Halloween, it seemed to go near Hogwarts and they new that this couldn't be right, they felt sure that he would be caught in Hogwarts, after all the Animagus thing was no longer a secret that he could rely on, and a wizarding school was one place where people would be keeping an eye out for the magical. They had left a message with Dumbledore and then returned. They returned to find things somewhat different with Lily and Severus, Sirius obviously didn't read the signs, but Remus saw that there was a weight on both of them, there was an ease that had disappeared though Remus thought he could sense that there was a desire for more intimacy, he saw it in the way that Severus looked at her, the way that she would avoid his eyes, the way that he would always be there to help her no matter what the task was, and the way that she would say goodbye each and every time he would leave, she always kept her distance but her eyes wouldn't leave his, it was seemed so intimate, she would only ever say 'I'll see you soon' and once he had disappeared into the floo she would linger a while, eyes on the spot that he had left, then busy herself with cleaning a kitchen that he had already helped her to tidy, busying herself and her mind in a far off place.

Most of November and December passed this way, Remus would be going out checking all the old scent trails that they had found for Peter, but he rarely got a hit. It was just after Christmas when he got another, it was in a small village called Ottery St Catchpole, but on the outskirts, there were a few wizarding families that had lived close by, the place was teeming with field mice, occasional rats and lots and lots of garden gnomes, Remus' senses were not at their best it had been the full moon at the beginning of the month and he knew that he had another coming up, but with the wolfsbane potion he found that he wasn't as sharp as usual and wasn't able to find a thing. Remus had to return to his own home with the wolfsbane potion for the last days in December, and when he returned on the first of January, the scent had already cooled and disappeared, could it be that Peter had sensed him?

What Remus hadn't realised was that Peter was now going by another name, Scabbers, and he was the rat of one young Hogwarts student, Bill Weasley, the scent could be found round the area that he lived during the holidays and would always disappear when term started up again. Remus just didn't see it, again he and Sirius had assumed that he wouldn't be able to get into Hogwarts, but this was another underestimation of their old friend Wormtail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys. I have really tried to amp things up in the Lily/Severus area, and a cute peek at some Severitus.
> 
> I have held a poll on my FF.Net profile page with regards to when Severus' cover should get blown, you can make your opinion count; https://www.fanfiction.net/~boonaughts


	7. One that Understands her Worth

Chapter 9 - One that understands your worth

Sirius and Remus posed as a dog walker with a lovely friendly large black dog as they roamed the countryside where they had recently found the scent of Peter. It was laborious and lonely work as Remus really didn't have anyone to talk to and many a time he had got a funny look for talking to his furry friend. The countryside looked wild, there were rolling hills and the grass grew as high as Sirius in dog form. Remus, however, was still very much as useful as Sirius, he had far superior senses, even in human form they were far superior to that of Sirius the dog. For weeks they had been skirting around a large area and knowing that there was a residence nearby, they had however been avoiding it, today Remus had a plan, as the scent would get stronger he would throw a ball for Sirius in that direction, today, Remus threw it close to where he knew there was a residence and where he had started to believe the scent was strongest.

"Come on boy! Fetch" he shouted and he launched the ball in the direction of what he knew was a wizards house, a house called the burrow. Sirius took the hint and silently bounded off in the direction of the house. It wasn't long before he was met by a tall sturdy wizard with flaming red hair.

"Good day sir?" He had a friendly voice, however, he was clearly wary, Remus had found on his travels that the wizarding population was still for the most part untrusting of strangers.

"Hullo!" Remus shouted he wanted to appear friendly, regardless of where the man's allegiance lay. If Peter was holed up here he felt for sure these wizards were not to be trusted. "Lupin is the name, and yours?" he asked, maintaining his friendly exterior

"Arthur Weasley" he smiled, "don't usually get unknown visitors around here?"

"Ah yes, I'm not from around here, I have been travelling with work" his voice light despite the man's clear suspicion.

"Yes, just you know… we like to be careful, I have children, don't want any bother" Arthur was starting to get a bit more direct. Remus took a moment thinking of what he knew of the Weasley's, they were rarely part of the pureblood agenda, despite being a pureblood family, they were often drawn up to being blood traitors because of their affection for muggle kind.

"Yes, I uh - understand that…" he paused thinking, "Do you have proof your a Weasley? It's just I am concerned who I would be able to trust in these parts, as you say, I am not from around here"

"Usually the colour of my hair is good for most," the man laughed, pulling off a pointed hat, "But if you need proof to be more open, you can check my wand?" with that said Arthur held out his wand, tip pointing towards Remus.

"Cognosco" Remus said, rising from the wand was a picture of the man that owned the wand, the man in front of him, details of his wand and a name, "Ah yes, I am unicorn hair too, though I favour a cypress wood" Remus smiled leaving his wand where it was,

"Cognosco" Arthur whispered, again a picture rose from the wand, the wand details and name, however, there was more information for Remus, "Oh, you're - er - an erm…" the man paused and Remus' head sank, "a werewolf!" he finished his sentence quietly

"I use a potion called wolfsbane" Remus whispered, his head still bowed.

"When did it happen?" Arthur spoke kindly

"I was a child, a well-known werewolf called Fenrir Greyback" Remus lifted his head slightly, yet he couldn't quite make the mans eyes.

"Your Lyall's son" His eyes wide with recognition. "I heard the tale, your father was a brave man, as a Father, I just can't imagine-" stopping suddenly

"Yes, my father did his best to get Fenrir imprisoned, he was known for targeting children, and as a result of my Fathers choice, I was targeted by Fenrir…I do not blame my Father, thankfully, Albus Dumbledore, he made arrangements so I would still be able to attend Hogwarts" Remus smiled a weak smile.

"I think we can trust one another" Arthur smiled holding a hand out to the younger wizard. Remus shook his hand, filled with wonder that he was being accepted, this was so rare, regardless of the story behind his condition many feared and rejected him on this basis.

"My condition has too strong a link to those who favour the Dark Arts," Remus mentioned as he followed the man through the dusk to his family home. It was a very odd house, as though bits just got added on from time to time, primarily, Remus found it warm and inviting.

"Molly dear… we have a guest!" Arthur called and a woman walked out of the kitchen, she had the same flaming red hair, a pinafore covered her flowery dress a wand sticking out of the front pocket. There were signs of many young children, the house was littered with toys.

"How about a pot of tea then dear" she spoke warmly as Remus walked into the kitchen, "And your pet dog, does he need some water?" she asked kindly. At this comment, Sirius took the opportunity to change back to his human form.

"I'd rather have a cuppa too thanks" He smiled, Arthur's and Molly's eyes were wide,

"This is my colleague and friend… Sirius Black" Remus smiled, "We're kind of incognito" he whispered.

"Well, tea it is then…" Molly started working around the kitchen, evidently, she was planning more than a spot of tea.

"How can we help you then?" Arthur asked,

"We have been tracking a convicted murderer called Peter Pettigrew and his scent has led us to these parts, we wondered if there are any about here that would er… sympathise with his current predicament?" Sirius asked

"Well the Lovegood's are a bit odd, they live just over the hill, but I can't see them siding with anything dark… just anything downright loopy" Arthur mused, "The Diggory's are close by too, but again I think that's barking up the wrong tree…" With that Molly was back at the table with tea and warm, seemingly freshly home-baked biscuits.

"I know he's been around here Remus, I can smell him as soon as I change… maybe he's hiding… or… I dunno?" Sirius mused as he dunked a biscuit and took a huge bite. "That being said the scent isn't as strong as it was before Christmas!"

"Like I say, the Lovegood's are an odd family, write something called 'the quibbler' have you heard of it?" Arthur added

"Yes…not what I would call my kind of publication…" Remus joked,

"Well, our thought's being, they are the kind of people to believe a tale… is Peter smart enough to come up with something that would trick them into protecting him?" Molly added sipping her tea. "They believe some strange things and if he can get a good story, been framed and someone else committed the crimes, or some unknown beast invaded his brain… you know the kind of crackpot theories they come up with?"

"Yes, the 'Crumple-horned Snorkack" Remus rolled his eyes.

"He's a bloody idiot, I doubt he could fool even that prat!" Sirius blurted, Remus poised to speak,

"Actually," Remus interrupted, "We have underestimated Peter more than once," He looked pointedly at Sirius, "We made him the Secret Keeper for the Potters when You Know Who marked them for death, we never considered him to be the one that was passing information from the Order for over a year…And then once we found out he managed to outwit this one again and that's how he is missing!"

"Well, if I know Xenophilius, if he believe's some crackpot story that Peter comes up with, he will protect him and nothing will shake his belief, it would be better to, well go even more incognito! If you were close to Peter, better it not be you who looks if you know what I mean"

"If this Xenophilius has believed Peter then he's a bigger idiot than I originally thought." Sirius added.

"About as big an idiot as you then!" Remus added, 

"Well, we can organise a playdate with little Ginny and Luna" Molly spoke up, "I'll just keep a little eye out and let you know if there is anything suspicious?"

"Now wait just one moment Molly!" Arthur interrupted, "If this fellow killed 12 muggles just to run away, chances are he wont bat an eye at you and little Ginny!"

"Now listen here Arthur Weasley!" she spoke in a much more shrill voice now, "I know more spells than those used for cooking and cleaning! If that man is around here I want him AWAY from my children!" She paused, "And to keep his cover he can't be going around killing innocent women and children, if he's got two brain cells to rub together, he'll try hiding, I will just see if I can spot anything!"

Despite being a Gryffindor, Arthur was clearly not brave enough to stand up to his wife. Molly decided what she would do and that was final, they arranged to meet at Hogwarts a week later and she would give them a report in private.

* * *

A week later Remus and Sirius met Molly in Hogsmeade. Sirius and Remus sat in the three broomsticks waiting, Remus again was very confused. "I can smell the scent again, its fresh!" Remus stated. "It's like he's going between the two places…constantly!"

"HOGWARTS!" Sirius mentioned, "He's pretending to be a bloody pet!" In that moment Molly came into the three broomsticks and Remus and Sirius were not surprised that she hadn't seen a thing, they made a list of all the families in the area and with that Sirius and Remus were off.

* * *

 

Severus sat in his private quarters at Hogwarts, his desk was littered with various essays and vials of varying potions or varying qualities, his expression said it all, feeling the heat in the inside pocket of his robes, he pulled out the small black notebook. Opening the notebook he found a message;

' _Hi Severus, Remus here, need to arrange an order meeting, intelligence on where Wormtail could be'_

Severus smiled, it was an excuse to see her again, in an instant, he cleared the potions and essays into black work bag and made his way to the floo.

"Lily Potters Home" he spoke clearly as he stepped into the fire. Green flames surrounded the tall man and his billowing cloak, in an instant he vanished from one fireplace and shortly found himself in her kitchen. "Lily!" he called, it didn't take long for her to arrive.

"Severus" she smiled, "What brings you here during the week?" turning her back to him she put the kettle on, pulling cups from the cupboard.

"I got a message from Remus, I knew you were concerned with them being gone so long…" he watched her busying herself. "He asked that _we_ arrange a meeting for those that are still in the Order"

"They are ok?" she said pouring the tea and adding sugar, "What's the meeting about" she spoke with slight urgency.

"Only that they have intelligence on Peter Pettigrew's whereabouts, they said nothing more" placing a hand on her arm comfortingly, "I'm certain they are ok" a rare smile played across his lips.

"Thank you for coming" she smiled, her other hand placed on his, a slight blush to her cheeks, "Tea?" turning away again she picked up both cups and they moved to the table. Severus unloaded some of his essays from the bag and the potions that went with them. "how's school?" Lily asked.

"Too much work," he said gesturing to the piles in front of him. He took a sip of his tea and pulled an essay towards him, and taking ink and quill from his bag.

"Want help?" she asked,

"You're too nice to mark essays, you could test the potions though, make notes on whats wrong and far more rarely right with each one?" he asked

"Too nice?" she questioned

"Far too nice, I fail at least half of my class… they would die of shock with the grades you would give!" he looked at her and she laughed at him, 'Musical' he thought to himself.

"Okay, quill?" she asked, passing her one from his bag Severus began making copious notes and scribblings on the essay in front of him. Lily pulled a potion towards her and noted the students name and started making notes, pulling the stopper she sniffed the potion and coughed "Fail!" she spluttered replacing the stopper on a vial of gloopy green potion.

"Maybe you have got the makings of a potions master after all!" he smiled for the second time in the same evening.

"So when can we sort this meeting then?" she questioned, remembering his original reasoning for being there, "Sometime your free from Hogwarts duty's?"

"This weekend I'm on duty in Hogsmeade, Easter break, I was going to come back to the house then?" he asked

"Brilliant, I can send word out for it to be during the break" With that she put her head down to the task before her, the evening was filled with stolen glances and secret smiles. Harry was sound asleep.

* * *

Lily, Severus, Sirius and Remus were gathered in the magically enlarged living room, mismatched chairs for all the various members were placed around the edges of the room. So far only Arabella Figg had arrived, and her task was mainly to occupy a very fussy Harry in his room. Arabella was a squib and was only able to do so much, she had however become someone that was trusted to care for Harry.

"What time did you say Lil?" Remus asked.

"I said 7" she glanced at her watch, "It's only 7:10 now" she added walking into the kitchen putting a kettle on and getting biscuits and cakes. She jumped as the fire roared to life, Aberforth walked out, an elderly man that looked much like Dumbledore, he had the same twinkling blue eyes and white beard, though he was a bit tubbier than his tall and slender older brother.

"Lily" he strode over to her and enveloped her in a hug, many others followed him out of the floo, Dedalus Diggle, Elphias Doge, Mundungus Fletcher and Frank and Alice. They gathered in the kitchen, Lily really wanted to control how they found out that Severus was here, in the Wizarding Community it was still generally believed that Severus had hoodwinked his way out of Azkaban, and that is how they wanted it to remain, therefore the news had not been shared with the wider members of the Order yet. "Emmeline Vance isn't able to make it, apparently there is a lot going on round the Ministry at the moment, Mad Eye won't make it either, but I believe Albus is going to have another meeting to go over things with them next week"

"Well, that means we are just waiting on Dumbledore, Hagrid and Podmroe?" She asked,

"Ah yes," said Aberforth, "Though I believe they will all be coming together shortly, Where are Lupin and Black?" Aberforth and the others made for the door,

"Ah, sorry if you could wait for Dumbledore, It's just we have a new member in there with Sirius and Remus," she paused then added, "Dumbledore approved … Obviously" curiosity was sparked amongst the group. The moment was broken up by another sudden flash of green from the fire, and out walked Dumbledore with Podmore.

"Hagrid is coming now… not enough space" Albus smiled they stepped out and the fire flashed green again, out walked a huge man with a shaggy beard.

"LILY!" he smiled pulling her into a warm and huge hug, she looked like a child in comparison to the giant of a man.

"Well, I guess we should go through… please bare in mind that this is Albus approved!" she finished nervously. She guided them all to the large living room where Severus stood flanked by Sirius and Remus, it seemed that the differences that Sirius and Severus sometimes had were put aside for this meeting. The group burst into outrage

"SNAPE! IN THE ORDER…NO!" It was Podmore that made the most noise but many others were complaining just as loudly.

"NO! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT" Dedalus added

"SHUT UP!" It was Alice Longbottom, the room instantly became quiet, she pointed at Severus, "Without that man, me and my husband would most likely be dead or worse! Now past mistakes are past mistakes, He has my forgiveness, He has Lily's and clearly Albus', Sirius' and Remus'" she paused, "Maybe you want to hear the man out!" With that everyone sat down, though they eyed Severus with suspicion.

"Severus, I feel Alice makes a valid point," Albus took a large comfy armchair, he was completely calm and relaxed. "Those who know your story, are ready to trust and move forwards," again he paused, though no one would interrupt, "Maybe they too, should hear your tale." Severus' scowl said it all.

"I did work for… Him, I mainly collected intelligence, and I cannot deceive you" he paused, his face was stern, his jaw clenched. "I have been responsible for deaths indirectly, from information that I have provided and potions that I brewed, I have been responsible for potions that tortured or allowed those who took them to stay conscious for more pain than is normal to bare, I told Lily, Remus and Sirius that if you are forgiving me, you should know what you are forgiving." He paused, half of the people in the room looked at him like he was vermin, he couldn't hold it against them. "I will tell you briefly what led me to… defect" he cleared his throat, "I had over heard some intelligence about the Him, I didn't understand it and I didn't hear it all, but I turned it over to the … Him, it was then that I learned that this intelligence would lead to Lily and her families death" he paused for a long moment to compose himself, "I cared for Lily-" he paused again, "We were friends as children," he added hastily, "I couldn't save her where I was, so I went to someone who could, Albus, I would give everything to save her, and Albus set up protection which you are all aware of, I realised Peter had betrayed her, er, them, as I was in the room when he revealed the secret, as soon as I was able I went to the Potters to tell them, I tried to protect them, I managed to keep my cover and in the instance that He returns, I will maintain my cover as a spy for the Order" he finished.

"well if is good enuf fer dumbledore, is good enuf fer me" Hagrid was the only one that spoke, but his sentiments seemed to speak for at least part of the room, though not all, though clearly they weren't all going to question Albus, his face was clear, end of discussion.

"I'd like to point out that firstly he left before Voldemort fell, and secondly, his intelligence has already saved me and frank, not to mention the second time he saved Harry!" Alice added. "He also put his own life at considerable risk going to the Godrics Hollow that night!"

"I wouldn't say we had been saved" Frank spoke bitterly.

"And that is on me" spoke Sirius, Severus looking at him, shocked. "I spent time accusing him rather than listening to him, I only gave his words credence after Alice was taken and you can't put that on him." He paused, "And I'm not gonna lie, I don't like him, we barely get along, but he isn't a Death Eater and he changed before there was any sign of Voldemort losing his power seat!" the room was filled with silence, no one looking at Severus now,

"Anyway, we are here about something entirely different, lets not waste time questioning our friends." Again Remus knew just when to divert the attention, though there were a few faces made at the word friend. "We have information about the whereabouts of Peter Pettigrew, obviously we know that he is an illegal Animagus, and that he turns into a rat, we believe he is travelling with an unknown student to and from Hogwarts, probably from the Devon area, potentially Ottery St Catchpole, he could also just be sneaking into luggage, either way he seems to be staying hidden within the wizarding world to keep track of what's happening."

"O.K. Well Albus and Hagrid work there, they can find him can't they?" it was Podmore,

"Not likely, he's a rat!" Severus had his usual sarcastic tone back, "We need someone who would recognise this particular rat, that means Remus or Sirius or Lily."

"Animagus have defining marks, that's all that Albus, you or Hagrid would need Snape." Podmore sneered at him.

" _REGISTERED_ Animagus have markers… Peter, Sirius and James were _ILLEGAL_ " he sneered back.

"Oh yea, turned over a new leaf this one!" Aberforth mocked, Severus just sneered.

"I think that means that we need either Sirius or Remus in Hogwarts, Lily is to remain as inconspicuous as possible in the muggle world with Harry," Albus paused, "I am pretty certain I shall have a Defence Against the Dark Arts post coming up in the new year" Albus smiled, Severus sneered, "I think we should all consider which member would be best suited and reconvene before the Hogwarts summer holidays start" he looked around the room.

"Personally I say Remus and I don't see that changing," Severus spoke, "He might actually be able to teach the students as well as find Peter, my confidence isn't in Sirius who has been outsmarted twice already" he smiled at Sirius, though it was the smile that was more common with Severus, more of a curled lip.

"I do want people to take the time to think it over Severus" pausing for a moment, "I think that is all we need to discuss, It's good to know that the Order is still able to function in times of peace, maybe we might even keep the peace with this good work." With that Albus got up, others following suit. Only Alice lingered, waiting for the rest of the Order to file out she walked over to Severus.

"I wanted to thank you Severus, from what I hear things could have been so much worse!" She looked warmly at him, "you know she really cares about you, she just needs some time, she has a lot jumbled up in that head of hers!" she put her hand on his shoulder squeezing slightly, "I would really like to see her happy again" with that Alice too left the living room to follow those through the floo.

"Wait!" he called after Alice following her to the kitchen. "I have a thought, hold Frank back…" he whispered to her, slowly everyone went through the floo system until only Frank and Alice stood there with Lily and Severus, "Squibs can't use floo," he pointed out, Frank's face became angry, "Ah no, you misunderstand me, you see how Aberforth takes Arabella through, I wanted to test a thought, It's the smallest test for magic I can think of, Frank if you can floo alone, there _could_ be hope, I don't want to give false hope, but I think its a test worth doing!" he looked at the man and the anger was replaced with suspicion, but he stepped into the fire with a handful off floo powder.

"Longbottom House," he said and dropped the floo powder, the flames turned green and he was gone.

"A little hope Alice" Lily smiled, and Alice followed her husband.

* * *

Severus sat in his study at Hogwarts, his chair faced the fire place, the embers burning brightly, his mind unsettled, words floating in his head, wondering;

_'_ _you know she really cares about you, she just needs some time'_

' _is that awful? that I want to move on after just a year?'_

_'_ _what man could accept that Severus?'_

'What could all this mean?' his mind worked overdrive, he had a reason to go over, a reason that he should, but he mused thinking more about her and what she and Alice had said. It was implied that he would be the one to make her happy;

' _I would really like to see her happy again'_

He was a smart man, he could join the dots, that was not the issue, the thing was he couldn't know _what_ was going on in her mind;

_'_ _She has a lot jumbled in that head of hers'_

He knew there was a lot going on in her mind, that was clear to him, he had seen how torn she was on Halloween, the problem was what was she torn between? It was implied that it was being loyal to James and moving forward with him, however, Severus couldn't believe that, no, not him. He plucked up the courage walking towards the fire.

"Lily Potters Home" He spoke clearly and dropped the floo powder and with a flash of green he was gone.

* * *

Lily was up in little Harry's room, he played in the corner with his chunky crayons drawing, everyone had abnormally large heads and stick arms and legs, all the brightest colours where used. Lily was putting away all his tiny clothes. Harry had been getting so talkative;

"Mama, see ma dawing" He waddled over holding up a picture,

"OH Harry!" she beamed at him "This is beautiful" she picked up the drawing, it had 4 figures and what looked like a dog, they were hard to distinguish, but the smallest looked to be Harry and there was one with long orange hair, that would be mummy! "And who are these?" she pointed at the other figures, Harry pointed at one all in black,

"NAPE!" he shouted, he then pointed at another giant head, this time with red lines running through it, "EMUS!" had a huge grin on his face, finally he pointed at what looked like a black dog, "SIRI!" he clapped then swinging his arm and pointing at the dog, "SWOOOSH! aaaaand POOF!" he giggled and went back to his drawing. With that Lily heard the floo.

"UPSTAIRS!" she shouted, already footsteps were climbing, Lily went back to her tidying when he walked through the door of Harry's room,

"NAPE! NAPE! NAPE! NAPE!" Harry jumped on the spot shouting the name of one of his favourite visitors. he bounded over to the man pointing at the drawing of the man, and continued shouting "NAPE!" Lily turned watching the man crouch before the little boy,

"Wow harry, this is a beautiful drawing" Severus smiled and the little boy started to pull at the mans signature robes, one of the things that defined little Harry's drawing of the man. "do we not need to make my nose bigger?" Severus asked

"hehehahahehaha" Harry laughed, "ERY ERY BIG!" he shouted

"And to what do we owe this pleasure?" Lily asked, smiling,

"I need to speak to Remus, I was going to start brewing another Wolfsbane for this month, but I needed to speak to him first" Severus was happy he had this reason, so it wasn't like he was always here for her, just to see her.

"He nipped out, only to shop, should be back any moment" she continued to smile, she tried to rain it in, but couldn't seem to. Severus stood back up walking towards her. Harry wasn't impressed.

"NAAAAAAPE!" he was whining as he reached up to the tall man, opening and closing his tiny hands, strangely enough, he obliged picking up the little boy as he walked over to the woman, but as he got closer she turned to continue with her task.

"Sooo many clothes" awkwardness seeping into her voice, "I really need to sort these out!" She focused on the task in front of her, her cheeks reddened as Severus didn't move, lifting a hand he brushed some hair from her face, her blush became more prominent.

"Lily?" he began,

"Sorry Sev!" she looked at him, her eyes shining with half formed tears, "I-" she paused, "I don't know-" she said as she brought her hand towards his, their eyes locked,

"It's ok," he said leaning towards her, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, "I'm confused too." her eyes drilled into his,

"I. Just. Can't." she spoke stiffly though she leaned in closer. It was at that precise moment that the front door slammed.

"LIL, I'M BACK!" Remus shouted, Lily, stepped away from Severus and took Harry into her arms,

"Kisses!" Harry shouted, Lily, planted a big kiss on his cheek,

"Severus is here to see you," she shouted, her eyes still fixed on his, then she walked out of the room. He stood motionless, the moment replaying in his head. Severus then followed her down, greeted Remus, his face straight, like nothing had even happened.

"I wanted to speak to you about this months Wolfsbane potion?" His voice matter of fact, "Would you mind coming to Hogwarts though, I'll be brewing there… Exam period and all that!"

"Sure" Remus, it sounded almost like a question. With that Severus walked straight through to the fire and grabbed floo powder, it didn't take long for him to leave. Remus turned to Lily, "What did you do to him?" he questioned

"Nothing!" she exclaimed,

"Sure Lil, he's found every excuse under the sun to be here lately and now he has a real reason he's high tailing it back to Hogwarts and wanting me to follow?" her eye's shiny again she looked away from Remus, "Lil?" he questioned.

"I-" then a long moment of silence, she finally turned to her friend, "I… _Almost_!" she emphasised, " _Almost,_ kissed him" she looked fearful, "But then I remembered James and it's not been that long and I stopped myself" she rushed out the last sentence. Remus reached over and put Harry on the floor, then pulled Lily towards him in a brotherly hug. Harry stood unimpressed grabbing his mama's legs

"It's ok… I think it's time you managed to be happy again" he held her close as she started to cry,

"It's so confusing Remus, I don't know what to do" she sobbed

"I think you should stop feeling guilty about it!" he pulled away and kissed her on the forehead and then smiled at her, "It's going to be ok" then he walked over to the fireplace, "I'll go fix Severus for you!" he laughed, she smiled at him, a little more of the weight she was feeling was lifted.

* * *

It wasn't long before Severus and Remus stood alone in his Hogwarts office, it was dank and dark like the rest of the dungeons. However little added bits of comfort made it homely if not a little dark. It suited Severus at least. Remus stood in the fire watching his new friend busy himself with his various ingredients bottles, flustered he continued to busy himself not giving attention to the man that had appeared in his office.

"Lily told me what happened" he got right to the point, Severus' head turned sharply looking at Remus, he looked almost guilty,

"I misread the signs, It wont happen again!" he stopped abruptly and busied himself some more pulling completely random and incorrect ingredients from the shelves.

"OH. KAY… What did _you_ do?" he asked, clearly, there was more to it.

"I got the wrong idea from something Alice said, I kissed her on the forehead, It wont happen again" Severus' attention still focused on the random bottles in front of him.

"You didn't get the wrong idea from anything Alice said, the woman is about a subtle as a bludger to the face!" Remus laughed, "She is also more in tune with how Lily feels than Lily!" he scoffed, "As for the kissing a forehead… I kiss her forehead… I think you might want to be a little more forward mate!" he laughed at the man, this Severus didn't ignore.

"You didn't see the reaction… completely freaked her out, how I could ever imagine, never mind, what's done is done!" shaking his head he started thinking more about the ingredients in front of him, putting some back.

"I am not drinking any potion you brew until this is sorted, Sev, she's feeling guilty about this that's all, she was going to kiss you, but then James popped in her head, and how wrong she must be to want to be happy so soon, trust me, you are barking up the right tree," Severus looked at the man in front of him, not saying a thing. "I'm completely for you continuing to bark up that tree Severus…" he eyed the man before him, his face difficult to read.

"And Sirius?" he questioned one eyebrow raised

"Well you and Sirius don't agree on much else, so... why start now?" he replied,

"True... I can't believe i'm saying this, but... Advice?"

"Give her a bit of time to ... adjust, then make a proper move, don't be so bloody gentlemanly" Remus replied

"Don't be gentlemanly?" He questioned

"What I mean is, just go for it, when the right moment presents itself, just kiss her or something!" Remus spoke with very little knowledge of how to actually woo a woman.

"Or something?" Severus questioned, "How your wisdom amazes me!"

"Anyway, you wanted to discuss my wolfsbane potion?" Remus finally changed the subject, "You seem more yourself, I think I trust you to brew again!" he smiled

"Yes," he began tentatively "It's dangerous what I want to propose…" he paused again, maybe for effect, "but I have been thinking of trying a little more Monkshood or powdered silver in the potion, I was going to add slightly more next month, I'm thinking in very small quantities… and maybe add slight more Dittany to counteract the extra poison from the monkshood," He winced at his proposal, silver being particularly harmful to his werewolf form "It's dangerous for you to try, but I have been researching, as I have been brewing it these last 18months, I just think the potion could be improved, I believe with work we may even be able to prevent a transformation one day… but, as I have said already, its very dangerous!" Severus sat in front of his new friend, waiting.

"You seriously think you can do something more than what the Wolfsbane Potion already gives me"

"I think it foolish to assume that it can't be adapted and perfected, I think that the only way a cure is found if people are brave enough to search for it."

"And you think you can be the Wizard that does this?"

"No, I think that between the two of us, we can make progress, I need full reports on your experience of every variation of the potion that we make, I need to understand how each ingredient effects the transformation, with that knowledge, we can make some difference, I don't pretend to be confident that _we_ will find the cure, but I do think we can go in that direction"

"Ok.." he smiled at the potions master, "What does that mean for this month?"

"A final month on the original Wolfsbane, and a detailed report to follow!"

* * *

Severus only found out who would be the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher in the last staff meeting of the summer term, he was disappointed to find that it would be none other that Sirius Black. Despite Remus' words, Severus had remained distant from Lily, knowing just how confused she was, he found it hard to be there, to see the torn look in her eyes. However, he walked out of the meeting and could think of no one else to talk to about it. Yes, progress had been made with Sirius but the thought of working an entire year with him, no escape, it wasn't pleasant. It felt too much like Hogwarts. He strode purposefully through the halls, students that were lingering in the halls immediately removed themselves from his prescience, hurrying to wherever they were supposed to be. It wasn't long before he was again in his familiar office staring at the glowing embers, debating if he should call.

"Lily Potters home" He called and was transported to the large and familiar kitchen, it was warm and inviting, he could smell food in the oven for that evening, the fire was glowing, everything was silent except for the distant sound of Lily running Harrys bath upstairs. The living room, had a dim warm light, just the lamps were on, and the muggle tv was on but muted. He sat in an arm chair waiting. He would be seeing Remus as well this evening, he had his first transformation where he had taken notes, Severus was going to use this as a gauge to decide if he should be making the changes he was thinking about.

"Hullo!" She called from upstairs,

"It's just me" He called back, thankful she was busy, thankful that maybe he had time to pluck up some courage, it had been weeks since he saw her.

"I'll be down in 10, just reading Harry's story"

He sat wondering about everything that Lily, Alice and Remus had said, he thought about what he wanted, what he wanted for Lily, with Lily. He thought about the little boy settling to sleep upstairs. James' little boy, how it would impact him in the long run. He knew if he got his hearts desire in Lily, it wasn't something he would let go easily, his mind was consumed with what everyone in the little circle would think, and it seemed that Sirius' opinion mattered to him a great deal. It didn't seem like enough time had passed when he heard her feet quietly tip toe down the stairs.

"Sev?" she stood at the bottom of the stairs uncertainly, looking at the man on the sofa, "I missed you" her voice was quiet, nervous almost. She sat next to him, though keeping to her side of the small sofa. His eyes met hers, they were still so unsure, her emerald eyes bore into his onyx eyes, usually cold today full of warmth, longing and fear.

"I missed you too," he said simply, he held out a hand for her, her eyes didn't leave his as she took his hand and he guided her closer gently wrapping his arms around her. She leaned into him, saying nothing, the moment was sweet.

"don't stay away from us that long again" she curled herself into a compact little ball, snuggled next to him.

"You want me to be around?" he asked tentatively

"Yes, Always"

"Lily, I have loved you a long time, I want more than just 'being around'" he couldn't look in her eyes anymore, fear of what she was expecting, that they were on the same page.

"I know, I don't want something small either Sev" That small sentiment was all that he needed. His hand cupped her face, looking in her eyes always, he lowered and placed a kiss, gentle, as she leaned into the kiss her arms wrapped around his neck and he pulled her closer, the kiss deepened. She smiled, she felt no guilt today, she only felt happiness, as she pulled away he saw her sweet smile, and he gave her another quick and gentle kiss. His heart swelled, surely after his errors he did not deserve to be this happy, but then that is forgiveness, it takes no account of past mistakes, he felt clean as though his past did not even exist.

"I hate to break the mood" he interrupted the moment, "But I actually came to see Remus" she giggled

"He went to see Arthur Weasley, apparently they are fast friends" she smiled, "He will be back later" she stayed sat on his lap and his arms around her, affectionately stroking her back, he was lost in the moment.

"This is a perfect moment for me."

"It's perfect for me too" she added nestling her face into his neck, after a while she spoke, "hows work?" she asked to bring them back down to the normal evenings they were used too.

"Sirius will be working there next year" he scowled, it all came back to him now, why he had needed her, she remained on his lap

"It won't be like school Sev, things have changed, He has changed" she encouraged, "It might even help you and Sirius move forward, get something like what you and Remus have?"

"I really don't know," he paused, "Remus has a theory," she looked at him questioningly "Sirius and I are too alike" he raised an eyebrow skeptically

"How so?"

"Apparently we both like to hold grudges" he looked at her, wondering her thoughts on the matter.

"I can see that, there is an element of understanding come from Sirius lately but he seems to cling to the old grudge, whilst you cling to the old pain," she looked at him, "Can you be the first to let it go?" her hand caressed his face, he sneered and pulled her close to him, ignoring the question, preferring an embrace.

"I don't know" he whispered into her neck.

"you need to change your focus, think of a different version of Sirius, like when he stood up for you at the meeting" he pulled away away from her a skeptical expression

"And I quote;

' _I'm not gonna lie, I don't like him, we barely get along'"_ He looked her in the face questioning.

"I didn't say it was _all_ good" she laughed, "But he cared enough to tell other people to shut up!" she smiled

"We shall see how he handles this little development" he opened his arms, drawing attention to her nestled on his lap.

"Ooo, that is something to discuss, Sev... I just don't want to confuse Harry"

"I know, I don't either... I guess we take little steps, when _you_ think the time is right we can be... a little more open with Harry, but I also can't be openly _with_ you Lil, not if i'm going to go back to … Him, if or more likely, when he returns, I have no idea how that works"

"I have been thinking about that, it would put you in a bit of a bind, he'd either kill you for defecting or expect you to deliver Harry to him on a silver platter" she moved from his lap, hugging her knees, her face filled with worry.

"Which I obviously wouldn't do"

"I don't want him to kill you either Sev" she burst out,

"So… It's just one more secret, something we only share with those that we truly trust, which means all dates take place" he looked around "… here" he smiled at her, "It will be ok," he paused a moment, worry filled his face yet again, "if that's what you want, there are many men you would be able to be out in the open with, I would understand that" he finished

"But none of them are you," she smiled and she felt him relax next to her and she moved back to his lap, "I'm not after someone Sev... It's just you"

He pulled her close once again kissing her, unable to believe she was saying these things, cursing past chances he had had with her, cursing his wasted time making dangerous mistakes and violating his soul. They sat there in silence together for some time before they heard the floo go, the familiar sound shook them out of their blissful state. The familiar sounds of Remus getting out of the floo could be heard, Lily pecked Severus on the cheek before getting up.

"Tea then?" she said as she walked through to the kitchen. Severus didn't move, trying to hold on to that moment.

"I'm STARVED, Lil" Remus commented sniffing the mouth watering aromas.

"Set the table, Sev is here to see you" Lily tried to hide her secret smile, but he caught sight, smiling to himself, happy that this friends had found a way.

"Severus, you want my notes?" Remus pulled a roll of parchments from an inside pocket. "They are a bit messy, I wanted to get everything down as soon as I was back in my usual form" he handed them over. "Before anything faded, but it's hard,"

"So the transformation's painful?" he commented eyes drifting across the crumpled sheets

"Yes, it's so extreme that its what I remember most" Remus paused, "Took my advice then?" he winked.

"I think we need to add more Dittany to the potion then, to help relieve the pain, Dittany heals," he mused, "The other notes are useful, but I think you will be able to give a clearer picture if your not suffering so much pain" he began making notes in his battered potions book, the page was devoted to the Wolfsbane potion.

"Sev, Dittany heals, but it doesn't actually relieve any pain" Lily shouted from the kitchen "I'd suggest using Valarian Root"

"Valarian Root would counteract the Wolfsbane poison completely" Severus added

"O.k well your going to have to find something else for pain, Dittany heals, doesn't stop the pain, in fact, it hurts like hell!"

"Featherfew?" He called back

"Wouldn't counteract anything but its weak" she responded

"You have any _good_ ideas?" he asked mockingly

"Pain relief should be separate to the potion itself, though you still can't use Valarian Root if it counteracts the Wolfsbane" she added as she walked in with a beautiful golden brown pie, Remus followed with a serving dish with potatoes and another with greens.

"I know many good pain relievers, but its always better to have one potion that does everything it needs to, multiple potions mean many more contra-indications to consider"

"Contra-indications?" Remus asked,

"Various ingredients and how they react together, as we have said Valarian Root would just prevent the wolfsbane from doing what it needs to do." Severus clarified.

"I can do research on various strong pain relievers and their contra-indications for you whilst you look at the other points Remus was able to point out," Lily offered as she dished out the creamy chicken and mushroom pie to each at the table.

"I can help Lily, I don't want to be useless" Remus added

"Nonsense, these notes alone are going to be extremely helpful" Severus continued to make notes.

"This is good pie Lil" Remus began stuffing the hot crust and tender filling into his mouth

"Are you always this… ravenous, after a full moon?" he enquired

"I can't eat when I'm transformed under the Wolfsbane potion, I have left various foods in the room with me, but I just can't, where as without it, I crave… meat... it's the main drive"

"Interesting" added Severus making a note, then eating some of the pie, "This _is_ good pie though" his hand snuck under the table and gave her knee an affectionate squeeze,

As they continued the meal Severus remained engrossed in his notes and asked Remus many questions about his transformations, the evening was nice, Remus chose not to make a big deal of the developments and Severus and Lily didn't flaunt it, she was happy it felt like a normal night with a man that she cared deeply for and then man that she loved. Severus went back to Hogwarts relatively early, a Potions Exam was being sat by his 5th years in the morning and he needed to supervise, before he left he pulled Lily close to him and kissed her gently, her arms wrapped around his neck she hugged him tightly, "I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked

"Of course" he replied, she stepped back and the green flames engulfed him


	8. A Bad Transformation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh and Severus, when I said 'just kiss her or something' the 'or something' didn't mean me walking in on you with your hands ... everywhere!" He smirked, He held his nose and down the whole Potion. It was then that the unexpected happened. Remus went rigid, his eyes froze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter.
> 
> Please enjoy the Snily goodness, there is drama there is fluff!

Chapter 8 - A Bad Transformation

Severus and Lily had spent nearly every day off the school holidays together, unable to go out unless Severus was in disguise they had spent their evenings cooking meals together and eating by candlelight. Harry had loved this new routine and made such a fuss any night that 'nape' didn't read the bedtime story, Severus' deep gravely voice was soothing and was often requested by whomever was trying to get Harry to sleep as the little boy would focus intently on the story before falling to sleep with so little fuss. Harry favoured the wizarding tales, but he heard many of the muggle nursery rhymes too. During the day they spent time with Remus who was about a fair bit, they hadn't seen Sirius much and this warned Remus, was due to his unenthusiastic response to the relationship. They played with Harry, worked on idea's for the Wolfsbane potion and even bandied around idea's that might help Frank and Alice. The thing that they enjoyed most was being curled up on the couch, Severus either lesson planning, marking exams, or working on his research, with Lily lay with her head on his lap reading, she would read anything from Muggle Fiction, Wizarding Journals on anything from Charms to Potions and or buried in a book on Wizarding Healing techniques.

"Sev," she broke the silence on one such relaxed afternoon, "Do you think I could train as a Healer at St Mungo's?" He looked down, her face uncertain

"You have more than enough ability" his voice confident, his eyes not moving from the paper in front of him, "In fact, I think you would make an excellent healer," he expressed cooly, "Is there a reason you didn't go for it straight after Hogwarts?"

"Well there was the whole, 'you know who' thing, we were part of the Order and James could support us without working so he decided to put everything into that" she paused "Alice also said that the lime robes would clash with my hair!" she giggled

"I can see why you would have your focus there" his voice remained cool, yet there was an edge to it. "I think you should go for it, and I think you would look good in anything!"

"What about the whole, ' _hiding in the muggle world'_ thing?" she asked, her face slightly forlorn.

"hmmm" he put the papers on his lap, looking down at her, "Well once Harry is in Hogwarts, there wouldn't be any point to hiding away, and there is a lot of extra training to be a healer, I'm sure Dumbledore can pull strings so you could do it from home?" he mused, "Or maybe working in a muggle hospital until we figure something out?" her face contorted slightly.

"They cut people up and sew them back together … seems a bit barbaric after reading so much about wizarding medicine!"

"It is odd, isn't it… they do more harm than good" an identical confused expression played over his face, "Maybe keeping Harry hidden is the main thing and it won't matter too much"

"It is strange, we were both raised with muggles and yet their ways seem so strange now after being immersed in the Wizarding world for so long" she chuckled to herself, "I'll speak to Dumbledore, see what he thinks, I would like to be useful!" she continued to read the book ' _Magical bites and how to heal them'_ she had a small notebook beside her that she continued to note down page numbers or important passages. Lily had a theory that maybe it would be impossible to cure Remus who had lived with Lycanthropy for so long, but maybe the way that they treated the initial bite, and if they treated it immediately, they may be able to cure before the first transformation.

"You know how they treat Dragon bites?" she asked,

"How?" his voice lazy, still focused on his own task

"Well some dragon bites are more poisonous and have more lasting effects, but if you treat it straight away by soaking the bites in a balm with the antidote, the poison's long-term effects can be nullified, I was wondering if that might help with the initial Werewolf bite? Or depending on how it affects the body, for example through the bloodstream, we could try injecting the potion in the same way a muggle doctor would?"

"I think we would need to analyse or read up on what a fresh werewolf bite is like, is it a poison that causes the Lycanthropy" he mused as her, "The texts state that it's spread through the saliva, though they don't specify if the saliva is a poison or if its something else?"

"It's acting like a poison though?" she said

"I wonder if I can get some saliva of Remus next month" he mused. They continued in silence.

"Maybe you should brew regular Wolfsbane and not use a pain relief then, just in case something goes wrong?" she tried to hide her concern, but the slight shake in her voice gave her away. Severus' hand ran through her hair affectionately, bringing some comfort.

"I was planning on getting it without even being in the room" he smiled at her, she took his hand in hers, kissing his palm, smiling as she continued to read. "and anyway Remus is taking the first batch of the new potion tonight"

"Sirius said that he would pop round today as well," she tested, Severus looked nervous more than anything, he hadn't been around since Remus had broken the news to him.

"I thought we could all have tea together, discuss what we wanted to do for Harry's birthday?" her eyes not moving from his, his focus was fixed on the book in front of him, though his eyes were no longer moving across the page.

"Sounds lovely, I can cook, I think I would rather have something to focus my attention other than the death glare I get from Sirius"

"death glare?" she grinned

"Yes" he continued, "When someone looks at you with such pure hatred pouring out of their eyes, that they hope and believe that it might just cause the object of said glare, to keel over and die" he had a slight smirk on his face though

"You just want to keep your hands busy… so they aren't all over me" she smiled up at him,

"What can I say, it's a constant struggle" his hand moved straight to her neck as if to prove his point, affectionately stroking her slender neck, his fingers then moved into her beautiful auburn hair. His eyes not moving from her face, "You are so beautiful" he whispered more to himself

"And you are so handsome" she smiled pulling herself up, her hand now in his dark hair, "I love a man with a big nose" she smiled and kissed his nose.

"Gee thanks" he laughed, she didn't, moving closer she kissed him fully.

"I'm not kidding," she said as he pulled her closer, the kiss became more intense, his hands started to roam over her body. she broke away for a moment moving to his lap, straddling him, kissing him, lost in a moment, they were both so focused on each other that they hadn't heard the floo and the two men arrive. Severus' arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her as close as he could, his kisses moved to her neck, Lily was oblivious to her other friends leaving the kitchen as her hands wound into Severus' hair, "Sev" she whispered pulling away so she could catch his lips again

"Lil" he whispered his hands now caressing her back, Sirius and Remus stood awkwardly in the entrance to the living room, Remus' attempting to pull the other man away. Instead, Sirius made a loud coughing sound.

"OH!" Lily jumped in complete surprise, "Er- Sorry!" she stammered, "I didn't hear you come in!" her face flushed, she felt like a teenager caught making out in a broom closet by her teacher.

"Obviously" Sirius rolled his eyes, his voice had a tinge of distaste,

"I guess that's my cue to start cooking" Severus helped Lily up and moved speedily to the kitchen.

"Lil" Sirius said, "I know you're lonely… but there are other answers, I mean, what would James think?" he hadn't thought about he had said, he knew this was more than Lily wanting affection, he knew that this had been something she had wanted before she even glanced at James so many years ago, but he hated to think that his friend could be so lightly thrown aside.

"Sirius…" Remus' voice held a warning,

"I think you need to take a beat and think," He continued, Lily's eyes were stony "Lil, I didn't mean it like that, I mean that James is barely cold in his grave and you don't need to move on to the first guy that shows you a bit of attention!" not realising that yet again he had hurt her deeply.

"Yes, Sirius, cause that's me, I'll just go for _anyone!_ " She spat tears welled in her eyes. "I understand you're not happy about this right now, but really Sirius?" She spoke the tears threatening to fall.

"I don't want you to think I'm insulting you, I mean Severus, he's … ok an everything, but I just think you're moving on too soon, I mean can you really move on from James that quickly"

"Sirius" Remus sounded angrier now, "I think maybe you need to keep quiet now," Remus spoke, his eyes angry, the tears fell from Lily's eyes.

"Remus, I'm not having a go, I think that Lily will feel much better if she gives it time to get over James properly, give it the time or she will be upset and guilty for dishonouring his memory" Sirius hadn't noticed Severus coming back into the kitchen behind him.

"She won't ever get over him, Sirius," he spat, "That's the problem, or have you failed to notice how torn up she has been over the last few months?" Sirius turned to be stared down by Severus' furious gaze, "She loved him, this is about as over it as she may ever get, now you may not understand that Lily is an amazing and complex woman, who can feel a multitude of things at any one time, as you clearly have the emotional depth of a teaspoon… Lily has struggled with loving James and grieving James, of regaining a very old friend, feelings from the past being reignited and wanting to pursue them, but she also felt shame and guilt for even thinking or feeling anything that might appear, to a fool like you, to contradict her very real love for her deceased husband, she has struggled to be ok with all of those feelings and she struggles to balance everything that goes on in her amazingly loving and complex heart and as for ' _he's barely cold in his grave'_ , it's been nearly two years of her grieving, I think a friend might allow her a small piece of happiness by now?" He spoke so severely to the man in front of him, at that moment it was not hard to see the intimidating former death eater, though he restrained himself, he hoped to keep his anger contained.

"I can leave if my view is causing problems for the _lovers_?" he spat, his eyes not moving from Severus'

"Sirius, you don't need to make a problem, we are here to discuss something more important than your personal views" Remus cut in

"Sirius, we are supposed to be planning something for Harry's birthday tonight" She spoke as she wiped the tears from her face she looked stronger, she looked at Remus, wanting his support.

"Yes, Sirius, put things aside for Harry, just for one meal until you manage to… adjust?" Remus put in

"Lily if you are ok I can go start food, if you feel uncomfortable around _him,_ I can stay" Severus looked at her, his stormy gaze now warm and comforting.

"I'll help you," she said taking his hand they walked into the kitchen together, leaving Remus and Sirius alone

"You need to reassess how your handling this Padfoot" his voice was still filled with warning, but he was on his friends side somewhat, he understood that it was difficult for him, he had always been loyal to James and this just reminded him of how gone his friend was.

"It's like everyone is just forgetting him, It's like _he_ is trying to replace him, like when me and James worked so hard to make your transformations more bearable, and he comes trying to replace what we gave you, building up your hopes with a cure, being your new best mate, he's got Harry adoring him, Harry doesn't even realise that his Dad hated that man and now is Harry going to end up calling _him_ daddy! Lily even has someone to replace the hole that James left. Albus just slotted him into the open space in the Order, James should be remembered, not brushed to the side by the first scheming potions master that comes along" Sirius' rant ended, Remus looking at the man and seeing the pain in his eyes

"You need to stop seeing this as Severus removing James, he tried to save him remember, start seeing him as an addition, I imagine that if James had survived, Severus had turned against 'You Know Who' and we would still be seeing as much of him, he would be here anyway trying to protect them and Harry because of the prophecy, and I imagine James wouldn't hate him anymore after all he risked for those that James loved." He paused, "I guess this is why you want to hold on to the old grudge, it's like a part of James that you can keep hold of?"

"Moony, I don't know how to be ok and I don't know how to let go of the last piece of James I have left"

"Harry is the last piece of James, not the grudge he had with Severus"

"Maybe I have two bits of James left and not one then"

The rest of the evening was fairly uneventful, Sirius managed to keep his comments civil, and Lily made the effort to keep the focus on what they would be doing for Harry's birthday. They had discussed days out, parties, Remus thought his new friend Arthur's son, Ron, would make a good invite, those in the order, Neville, and they talked presents. Severus tried to join in occasionally but didn't say too much, not wanting to overstep, it had seemed much simpler when he was a friend and protector for the family instead of the _'boyfriend_ ' of the child's mother. Remus remained supportive to both sides of the argument, finding it hard to disagree with Lily and Severus relationship, it warmed him to see them happy, though slightly grossed out by the wandering hands when he and Sirius had initially turned up, but he also understood Sirius' pain, he couldn't bear to see James forgotten either.

"O.K so I like this day out idea, but Severus can't go unless we disguise him somehow, so how about you and Remus take him somewhere for the day, a park or zoo, something, whilst me and Sev get stuff ready for a little party, sort presents and get everyone here and the evening we can spend together?" Lily ran through the plans that they had come up with.

"Sounds great, I think it will be nice to have Harry to ourselves for the day!" Sirius spoke, he had managed to let go of his anger a little, and though Lily was still hurt, she placed it all to one side.

"Yea, I think London Zoo would be great, and I'm sure they have some rides in Hyde Park at the moment!" Remus added. "What about presents?"

"I don't want to go overboard" she eyed Sirius at this point, "I don't want him to end up, with all four of us, it could get out of hand, I don't want a brat on my hands!"

"Well, I thought I might get him some stuff for his bedroom?" Remus interjected, 'bedding for a ' _grown-up_ ' bed, bits to go on his wall, snuggly PJ's, things like that?"

"Remus that's lovely, I have a big boy bed coming next week!" she smiled

"I'm not gonna lie I wanted to get a broom, but we're still doing the muggle thing? Where do I stand?" Sirius spoke

"Muggle children go to nursery soon, so it would be best if he didn't have toys that would draw suspicion" Severus spoke, he was cautious about insulting the man after the trouble they already had, though secretly delighted he had good cause to ruin the man's plan.

"Oh! Yea! I know… I saw a little muggle child on a motorbike the other day, not a real one, a kiddie one!" Sirius' eyes gleamed with his passion for outlandish presents! "So Sev what are you getting?"

"I already have mine, It's a bedtime story that will read itself!" he spoke

"What happened to muggle presents?!" Sirius really wanted to shoot it down, you could hear the pleasure in his voice, he was just as bad as Severus really, Severus was just better at hiding it.

"Muggles have similar devices that will read out a story to a child, so if Harry were to talk about it, no one would think anything of it" Severus smirked at the man.

"Well, he won't like the story half as much as a bike Snape!" Sirius finished, Severus shrugged, knowing that actually what he had planned the little boy would love.

"Well, I have a few things planned, clothes, teddies and a few toys, colouring books, etch-a-sketch and some puzzles!" she smiled, 

"Well looks like we are all sorted" Smiled Sirius, "Wanna get going Moony?" he pushed, he was eager to leave.

"You go, I need to chat to Severus, it's- you know- my time of the month!" Lily laughed as Remus trailed off giving her a whimsical wink.

"Well I shall see you soon" he smiled, he didn't hesitate and was gone within minutes.

"I know he's been difficult, but can you be patient with him, It's not about this" he gestured to the both of them, "really, he's missing James and the fact that, to him, it seems like Severus is taking the spot once filled by James, in many ways, not just with you Lily, he got upset about the Wolfsbane, upset about the Order, he thinks we are all forgetting James and accepting Severus as a replacement" they both looked at him, Lily's eyes had softened, Severus was still stony.

"I really appreciate that he must miss James, but believe me I do not want to replace James Potter!" His voice was harsher than he would like, Lily looked at him, it had hurt. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be callous, I mean that I don't want to be a replacement and I think he is an idiot for thinking it! I am not insulting James… I promise" he spoke more tenderly now

"Honestly, I know it, He just needs time, and I think the reason he is so determined to hold on to that stupid grudge is because it's like holding on to James, it's just something that's going to take time" his voice was soft, Severus looked at the man in front of him and thought that he would have dearly loved a friend like this a lot earlier on in his life.

"I can understand that, I can be patient" Severus added, Lily looked at him and smiled, and in his mind, it was totally worth it, just for a smile.

"Thanks, Severus, you are a good friend, and I know Sirius will see it, just as I have" Remus finished.

"You may not be saying that once this week is done, we need to discuss this Wolfsbane, I added more powdered silver, point out anything different in your notes this time, just things out of the ordinary, that way we know what aspect of the transformation the powdered silver affects"

"I can do that, does powdered silver taste good? Anything to improve the revolting stuff!"

"I'd be inclined to believe that it will taste worse, metal and monkshood, don't make for a nice bouquet" With that Severus went down to the basement, a place that had become his own potions room and living space, though Remus had been staying down there during some of his transformations. He returned shortly with a goblet filled with steaming potion. Remus looked at it distastefully.

"Well bottoms up" he paused, "oh and Severus, when I said 'just kiss her or something' the 'or something' didn't mean me walking in with your hands... everywhere!" He smirked, He held his nose and down the whole lot. It was then that the unexpected happened. Remus went rigid, his eyes froze, then Severus noticed that as his robes began to split, fur was sprouting on his back. It seemed that the potion had instigated the transformation a week early and as Remus started to thrash, Severus wondered if it was going to be more violent than usual.

"Remus?! Remus? are you safe?" Severus called, he looked at the man in front of him his snout pushing out to look like a wolfs snout. A growl was the only reply, it was angry and animalistic, It didn't take long for Severus to get out his wand and force Remus to the basement. He managed to put strong enchantments on the door, the only way out, even for a ferocious wolf. "Lily, you should take Harry and go stay somewhere else for the night!" Severus then placed himself in front of the door.

* * *

Severus was still sat in front of the door to the heavily fortified basement. He knew that Remus should have transformed back by now, but so much that was unexpected had happened due to his adapted potion he was afraid to go down there, he was afraid of letting Remus loose and unknowingly setting him free on the world. He hadn't heard any thrashing around in some time, Lily was sat next to him, just as anxious as Severus. She had placed Harry in Alice's care for his safety and came back, she had had to owl Alice when the transformation had lasted the full week including the full moon, Alice cared for Harry the entire time.

"Maybe we send a Patronus to ask him if its ok?" Lily suggested.

"Sure…" he reached for his wand, pushing his weight against the cellar door, "Expecto Patronum" A Doe appeared in front of him waiting, "I need you to go in the cellar and ask Remus if everything is safe now?" he finished and the Doe disappeared. It wasn't too long before there was a little knock on the cellar door.

"It's Remus… I think we're good" he sounded exhausted. Severus jumped up and removed the enchantments from the door, unlocked it and opened it to find a very beaten up Remus, he was covered in fresh scars, and his clothes were in shreds, he struggled to stand with the exhaustion and fatigue in his body. Severus quickly took hold of the man, walking him to the sofa.

"I'll get some fresh robes and a cup of chamomile with a squeeze of honey?" Lily asked

"Wonderful, thank you," Remus relaxed on the chair, "I think we should leave the powdered silver alone next time Severus!" he joked

"NEXT TIME!" Severus exclaimed, "You can't be serious, I will make the normal wolfsbane from now on, it was foolish of me to suggest this, it was wrong of me to put you in this position, I knew you would say yes, of course, who wouldn't want a cure? Remus, I'm sorry"

"SEV!" Remus exclaimed, "You had to know it was going to go horribly wrong at least once? No one is good enough to stumble on the answer so quickly, I see no reason to quit. Why on earth would you quit now?"

"Remus, you have been trapped thrashing about in your werewolf form for days, far more aggressive than usual…" he trailed off, his face unbelieving that his friend would ever trust him again.

"Granted it was my worst transformation yet…. that being said, we learn and adapt, that's how we will succeed, next time you will try something else and my notes will help you adapt the potion, make it better than it was before, please don't be afraid just cause I had one bad full moon!" despite being completely exhausted he retained his boyish grin

"It wasn't a full moon, It was the entire bloody week! And to set the record straight I won't do it!" He was adamant, the guilt he faced for Remus' experience wasn't lightly brushed off.

"Sev, I mean it, I understand if you want to take more time, work a bit more on research before trying things out, but I see no reason to quit, we adapt and move forward!" he smiled, Lily had returned, her look of concern was still plastered on her face, she folded some new robes next to him and handed him his tea.

"Seriously?" Severus had an incredulous look on his face, "You really want to continue … after THAT!"

"Yes, I trust you," he laughed sipping his tea, his face relaxed all the more, he pulled on the new robes over the old ones, covering the gaping holes without having to disrobe in front of Lily or Severus. "I remembered what you said though, at first anyway, there is a lovely bowl of drool and saliva in there somewhere, my apologies if I knocked it over in my … er metamorphosis"

"Don't worry about that, I think you need a rest from all this anyway" Severus added, his face filled with guilt, "I'm sorry Remus I shouldn't have put you through this, I'm going to make sure that nothing like that happens again!"

"OH cut it out Sev!" he was still smiling though a little irritated, "Self-deprecation does not look good on you"

"What the hell is all this 'SEV' business?" he finally asked, his exasperation getting the better of him.

"Its a nickname; a name added to or substituted from the proper name of a person or place as a term of affection, familiarity or ridicule" He grinned his boyish grin.

"You ate a dictionary in there?" Lily laughed, trying to lighten the mood, "I really think you need rest, I will bring you some breakfast up, but your bed is all made and you need a comfortable few days to recover!" her face stated that she meant business,

"I will get a few remedies together for the scars and the pain you are no doubt in" Severus added.

"I think I will stay down here though, I mean, I'll get hold of Sirius and we will have a relax in the living room, you know just in case I'm at risk of dying from boredom" he stated, though he looked at Lily questioningly,

"Of course!" she smiled at him,

"You realise your like a mummy's boy right?" he paused, "You give her the pitiful eyes and she gives you whatever you want! You're worse than Harry!" he mocked

"Jealous!" Remus winked, Severus rolled his eyes at the man, throwing a nearby

"I don't need to whine to get what I want" he smiled and as if to prove his point he planted a kiss on her cheek and continued back to the cellar to check out the damage. He was gone throughout most of the day, cleaning things away and repairing broken items, he also managed to collect a few good sized samples of Werewolf Saliva, and get some potions that made Remus more comfortable and relieved the pain from the grisly transformation. It was later when he came back to the main part of the house that Sirius was there with Remus.

"Ah so here he comes!" Sirius spat, "Been hiding away, after what you have done! Five days of him being trapped in that form! You didn't even call, didn't you think maybe I could have helped him, trapped in there for five friggin days Snape!" Severus couldn't answer, for once he accepted all of Sirius' words, acknowledged that he had been overconfident and that it was his fault that his new friend had been subjected to that ordeal.

"I won't argue, I won't let that happen again, I made a huge, HUGE mistake" his face still held guilt for his terrible potion.

"Oi Padfoot, I told you this was my choice too, I was well aware that it could and probably would at some stage, go horribly wrong! And I _will_ do it again, I will take another adapted potion as soon as Severus feels that the next one is ready!" he had clearly gained much of his vigour back. "Do not belittle my choices by blaming Severus,"

"You wouldn't have made the choice if Snivellus hadn't talked you into it!" He spat standing up, and walking towards the kitchen, Severus' blood boiled, something that name always managed to instigate, but he never needed to act, not this time as Remus stood up to follow his friend.

"DO NOT SAY THAT HORRIBLE NAME AGAIN! And am I really so weak minded? Sirius!" he shouted, upstairs Harry could be heard crying, as he often did when an argument broke out. "First I am a traitor and now I'm weak minded, my condition only changes me into a werewolf, IT DOES NOT CHANGE MY CHARACTER _NOR_ MY INTELLIGENCE!" Severus had never seen Remus so angry.

"I take it that is my cue to leave then" he didn't wait for a response, he simply walked to the large fire place in the kitchen.

"Don't you listen to a bloody thing he says Severus! DON'T YOU DARE!" Remus continued his rage, Severus wanting to bring the man back down, to relax, he pulled out an old chess set, he sat across from him on the sofa, the chess board with its pieces floated between them. They played for sometime before Severus brought up his transformation again.

"I think your body will require a rest from the wolfsbane potions Remus," he looked at the man tentatively, "I think it's important for your well being _and_ for progression of the research," He glanced at the man again, he looked up at Severus.

"You will continue?"

"Yes, but I need you to have a few normal months, and I wont make another adapted potion until I have something concrete to base my changes on"

"Thank you Severus," they sat in silence, all attention seemed to be focused on the chess match, after a good deal of time he spoke again, "I think I will spend some time in a werewolf colony…" he paused, Severus looked up, "I just think I might hear some useful news, there are some that have connections to those within Death Eater circles, I might get something useful" Severus choose not to argue with the man, he could understand Remus' need to be useful, a need to give something back to the cause they were both working for.

* * *

Harry's birthday was fast approaching and with it the new Hogwarts term. The morning of the happy day Harry was woken by Remus and Sirius and taken to London Zoo whilst Lily and Severus put a few banners up, balloons and made some food for the small crowd that would be coming for the event. They took Harry just about everywhere, except for the reptile room, they felt that with Severus around the young boy didn't need anything else encouraging him in that direction. They spent a lot of time around the lions, ensuring Harry knew just how cool they were, they even got him a lion teddy for his room. Overall Harry had a good day.

Back at the house, Severus had decorated the living room and Lily did the cooking for a change. Severus refused to cook the kind of processed party foods that the toddlers would want. Everything was ready quite quickly and Lily and Severus found themselves sat together wrapping all the presents. Lily picked up the book the Severus had gotten for Harry, it was a small hardback book, bound in green cloth, on the front in gold lettering it said ' _Harry's Favourite Stories'_ she smiled and then opened it to a little contents page, the first story was the one Harry requested the most, ' _Babbitty Rabbity and the Cackling Stump_ ' all hand written by Severus, she turned to the start of the story;

' _A long time ago, in a land far far away, a King decides to keep all the magic in the world for himself.'_

Lily shut the book gently, smiling at Severus, shocked that it was his voice that read the story. It was so sweet a gift. "Severus…" she gushed at him, he looked at her, his expression didn't change.

"It's just a story" though she thought she saw a smile hiding.

"Harry will love it," she said and she began wrapping it gently.

It wasn't long before everyone had arrived and Harry was back with Sirius and Remus. They played games, musical chairs, musical statues, pass the parcel. The mess was unbelievable. Harry seemed to enjoy the children that were there, though there weren't many, Ron and Harry seemed to get on great, and Neville knew Harry already. When it came to opening presents Harry truly enjoyed himself, he was just starting to grasp that today was all about him and that he would get all the presents. He loved all the bits Remus got for his room, Alice and Frank got some more bedtime stories for Harry, Harry passed them to Severus and simply said "Wich one Nape?"

The bike was met with lots of enthusiasm as well, and after he had finished opening the presents he spent a good hour racing round, taking in turns with the other children, but this only because Lily prompted, heavily! He tore through all the presents that Lily had gotten him and had gone round and given a hug and a kiss to everyone that had gotten him something, even Mrs Weasley who made him his first ever 'Weasley Jumper' He opened Severus' gift last of all, when he opened it and heard his precious 'Napes' voice, his eyes grew wide and slammed the book closed, and slowly opening it again to hear the same voice reading his story. He ran over to Severus and jumped on his lap hugging him, "Best stowy ever! tank you Nape!" Smiling he hugged the stoic man and kissed him on the cheek.

* * *

It had been a sad farewell for Lily when Severus was going back to Hogwarts a few weeks later, they had marked the occasion by having a date night, Arabella Figg took Harry for the night. Sirius had been told to stay away and Remus had recently bid them all farewell to go and stay a few months with a werewolf colony, he knew that Fenrir Greyback was part of the colony and he had links to Death Eaters. The aim was intelligence whilst he wasn't able to take wolfsbane. Severus had planned a beautiful three course meal and even dressed up in a suit for the occasion, black, of course, black shirt, black tie, all black and yet he looked handsome. Lily had made an effort herself, she wore a beautiful green dress, it fitted well and she wore black heels, she looked elegant with her auburn hair falling in sleek waves to one side. Severus had gone all out and had her favourite music on low in the background, dim lighting and candles in the centre of an elegantly dressed table. She sat at the table across from the tall, dark and handsome man, he poured her a glass of wine and served a lovely starter of bacon wrapped asparagus.

"Do you mind if I move" she stated, she did not ask, she picked up her plate and moved from the position opposite to a seat at the side of the table, closer to him, she looked into his eyes, "much better" he leaned down to kiss her gently.

"I agree" he smiled. They began eating in silence, Severus felt a little awkward, usually, their date nights had been much less formal, much more relaxed, and even the dress she wore put him on edge.

"This is delicious," she said, she tried to ease the tension, he smiled and took a sip of wine. "How did you become such an excellent cook?" she asked

"I enjoy it, I learned after Hogwarts mainly" she could see him visibly relax

"Well you know what they say?" she added

"Oh I don't know, What do they say?" His usual pronounced tone was back

"That there's nothing sexier than a man that can cook!" she winked,

"Just wait till desert" he laughed, conversation flowed easily as they finished the starter, Severus then took the plates to the kitchen, getting things ready to bring out their main meal. Lily followed. He began putting the dishes in the sink and moved to get more from the cupboard when Lily's arms were wrapped around him.

She whispered in his ear, "I'm going to miss you!" she looked in his eyes, there was a little sadness there, that from now on he would be away for so long.

"I'll come back, most, if not, every weekend" he smiled and gently kissed her back and went back to dish out Lobster Tails and sweet vegetables. It looked delicious, "What do you think?"

"It looks… divine" and they went back to the table and enjoyed a meal and the music, "How did you choose the music?" she asked after listening to another of her favourites.

"I won't lie, I looked through your bedroom and found the tapes you used the most, I had to find out how to record my own tape of your favourite songs using the ones I stole from your room. I needed to pick ones that set the right… mood, it took A LOT of effort, your lucky you have a man that puts _so_ much effort in!" his sarcastic tone was more subtle

"I'm lucky I have a man that cooks good seafood!" she put another fork full in her mouth gushed at the taste, "I love seafood," she said after swallowing. Before long he was serving a decadent chocolate mousse with strawberries and champagne. Lily's eyes wide at the effort and the deliciousness of her food, "Oh sev!" she gushed again, "This whole night is beautiful…" she looked at him, her eyes looked deep into his, "I don't know what to say" her hand went to his thigh slid down to his knee affectionately.

"You are worth it" he spoke sincerely and kissed her again on the cheek. Once they had finished desert he turned the music up slightly and took her hand, pulling her away from the table and towards him, he held her hand to his chest and the other round her waist, she placed her arm around his shoulder, smiling, as they danced in the dinning room. A delicate song in the background he moved slowly round the room to the music, turning around elegantly, it seemed like he could dance, but in reality, he just held her close, looked in her eyes and twirled her round on occasion, making her smile. That was the point, making her happy, showing her he was committed to her, even when he couldn't be there.

"Severus this is the most romantic date I have ever had" she swooned her head nestled into his chest. "I really will miss you, I'm not confused like I have been in the past, this is what I want, Sev, I want you, completely." She looked up at him, "I just wish I didn't have to hide"

"I know" his eyes were sad, "I wish I could have you and Harry with me all year, just come back from my lessons and there you are, but we can't, not right now." He twirled her round and pulled her back to his chest, she smiled. "that dress is... lethal!" his hands caressing her bare back. "Honestly Lil, that dress made tonight perfect!" he spun her out of his embrace, watching her, as if showing of her graceful beauty.

"Dancing with you has made this night perfect" she twirled herself back into his arms

"I only do this for you, there is no one else!" he whispered in her ear " And if you tell anyone you will completely destroy my fearsome reputation you know" she heard the smiled in his voice.

"no, this is all mine" she smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, please comment, please kudos!


	9. Grown up kisses are Yuck!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And how was your day, Nape?" she smiled as she wrapped her arms around his waist.
> 
> "Oh the best!" he leaned down and kissed the beautiful redhead, up on her tiptoes she deepened the kiss.
> 
> "Yuck!" shouted Harry
> 
> "Harry you have just been eating it quite happily," he said as he turned from his beautiful woman to the child at the table, who had in fact shovelled half the pasta away already.
> 
> "Kissing Yuck!" He made a face as he ate more pasta.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because everyone needs a little fluff in their lives!

Chapter 9 - Grown up kisses are yuck!

In the first weeks of teaching at Hogwarts, he and Sirius didn't see each other much, in fact, they avoided each other with the perfect excuse, of settling into the routine of their lessons. It was only after the first few weeks that they even met up to make a plan to catch Peter. They were in Severus' office, Sirius had settled himself on the couch with Severus in the chair behind his desk, seemingly at ease, though maybe that wasn't the case. They had talked a few times about how they would find Peter, Sirius had dropped hints that he had a way and that it would be quick, the only problem being there was something at Hogwarts that he needed.

"And what is this _marvellous_ object?" Severus spoke with his usual board but sarcastic drawl.

"In school, we made a map of Hogwarts"

"Oh brilliant, the thing is, I already know my way around Black!"

"It shows exactly where everyone is in the castle, even if they wear an invisibility cloak or if they are using Polyjuice, it even shows the name of those in their Animagus form," he said smugly

"Sounds ideal, where is it?"

"Filch took it!" he paused,

"So we ask for it back" Severus answered plainly

"Thing is he didn't really know what it was, You see when we were done with it, it would look like any other plain bit of parchment"

"Will he have even kept an old but of parchment?" He asked disbelievingly

"He kept it, he keeps everything, and he knew something was up with it, just didn't know what"

"Great, well we just need to speak to Filch and then we can end this ridiculous notion of you teaching the wizarding youth"

"I'll go ask him if I can have a look through his stuff later today," Sirius stated, "I have a feeling that it will go over better if I ask, people don't exactly warm to you do they?" he snickered

"I don't know, Lily seems to have warmed right up" Severus smiled, his smile became smug just seeing the expression of displeasure on Sirius' face.

"So, have you met the new Muggle Studies Professor?" Sirius changed the subject, a sneer was sent into Severus' direction, though he said nothing to retort.

"Yes, but he seems somewhat like a wet blanket if you ask me," With that Severus walked over to the door, indicating the meeting was coming to a close.

Sirius had actually spent quite a bit of time with Professor Quirrell, he would not admit it to Severus, but yes, the man was a bit unstable and had a nervous disposition. He also seemed to know what he was talking about, he was a smart man, an obvious Ravenclaw and he had a keen interest in more than just Muggle Studies, in fact, they spent a great deal of time discussing the finer points of teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts. There was an arrogance about Quirrell that Sirius really enjoyed, something similar in himself, an overconfidence.

Severus, however, didn't have much respect for a half-blood wizard that taught a subject like Muggle Studies. In his opinion it was just teaching about life, he considered it a useless subject for any self-respecting wizard unless they had a burning desire to work in Muggle relations, and even then they really only needed to blend in, much like any other wizard needed to in the Muggle world. Though if he had ever seen some wizards attempts at muggle-wear, he may have changed his mind and considered that the subject should be mandatory. He also hated arrogance in a person, though in some ways he could be rather arrogant himself, a flaw he would choose to ignore, it reminded him too much of James Potter and the brand of arrogance that goes with being the popular boy at school, the one that bullies those that they perceive to be beneath them. He opened the door for Sirius almost beckoning him to leave.

"You know he has been thinking of taking time out to go and study dark creatures and how to defend against them with the hope that he can teach the Defence Against the Dark Arts class in the next few years" Sirius almost gushed, "What an adventure ay, I should do something like that, he seems like a great guy, this Quirrell, also agreed with Frank and Alice's idea, to go get 'You Know Who' and kill him before he regains power" Sirius walked over to the door, leasurely still trying to engage the man in polite discussion.

"I think he seems rather weak-minded," Severus spoke seriously, it wasn't about getting jibe in anymore, he had seen so many come with the same silly idea's, thinking they would be able to break him from the inside, and yet they had always become so entangled, eventually ending up being his most loyal followers. "I would be very careful of Quirrell, he is far too arrogant and ambitious not to fall into a trap."

"You're just sore mate, and anyway, aren't you one of those that were so weak they got under 'You Know Who's' spell?"

"No, I was depressed and sought power, I was there for my own ends and disliked what he did, I never thought I could outsmart him, I just wanted to join the powerful side, at least what I thought to be the powerful side." he paused, Sirius was not taking him seriously, he seemed to find the conversation laughable, like being cautious of Quirrell was a rather absurd thought, "I am being serious, if Quirrell were to go after the Dark Lord, he would not come back the same man," Severus motioned to the door, Sirius leaned on against the wall ignoring him. 

"You really think he has the guts to do something like that? There's going after vampires and trolls so you can teach a class, but he wouldn't really seek out anything that dangerous, the guy can hardly say boo to a goose!"

"He is arrogant, and he thinks himself very smart, he thinks himself smarter than the Dark Lord, that he is frightened does not factor in, the very idea is as thrilling to him as it is frightening, I believe that he would do it." The conversation ended there, a look of incredulity on Sirius' face, he shook his head as he left as though Severus had made the most ridiculous suggestion. This is when Severus saw why Sirius had failed to suspect Peter, he saw only those with certain qualities as a threat. Quirrell in Sirius' eyes was not a threat, he was a good partner for banter and bullying. 

* * *

 Professor Quirrell and the newly appointed Professor Black became fast friends. They would sit in the dingy staff room and had a laugh and a joke, mainly about the other members of staff, nothing was off the table, including Professor Flitwick's height. They were in the staff room most afternoons during the lunch hour and would talk about whoever was there, and unfortunately, most of the time this was Severus.

"Hay Severus, how's chemistry going with the kiddies?" Quirrell mocked, "You know they teach that in muggle schools don't you?"

"Chemistry is a subject in a muggle school, though I don't see the similarities between that and potions" Severus sneered.

"I suppose it's a bit like muggle cooking? I thought a former Death Eater would want to teach a less muggle subject, Severus?" He jeered at the man again, Sirius was laughing next to him.

"To be honest Quirinus, I think I prefer the Chemistry bit, just making things go bang isn't Snape?" Sirius mocked

"Quirrell, considering you teach the single most useless subject in Hogwarts, I find it amusing that you want to criticise potions," he turned, his gaze fixed on Sirius "And Black, the reason you fail to understand potions is because you seek a nice interesting BANG, that is rarely the point in, clearly neither of you have the intellect for such a subject." he made for the exit

"But Severus is it even Magic, wouldn't a muggle be able to perform potions?" It was Sirius again,

"Considering my subject is the only subject where you can gain the title Master, I would think you would have more respect for the more subtle branch of Magic" With that he stormed out of the room. There was an awkwardness in the room, many of the staff not quite knowing what to say. It was Minerva that eventually took the opportunity to comment.

"You know… you haven't grown up much since your first year of Hogwarts" she said curtly looking at Black, her glance moved over to Quirinus, "and you seem to have grown down in his presence!" With that, she left the room. Unfortunately, it continued like this at Hogwarts and Severus who had begun to open up at home found himself closing off more and more than ever at work.

Severus, however, found Quirrell more worrying as he spoke about his former master, Voldemort, he seemed to hold himself in such high regard as he spoke of rumours and his desire to see 'someone' track the Dark Lord down.

"I just think that if such a thing were true, and possibly it is, there is more than a little off with how things happened that night, for the child to survive a killing curse, then in that instance you strike whilst the iron is hot!" He spoke almost authoritatively

"The problem, Quirrell, is that no one understands how it is all possible if you have been graced with such knowledge I am more than sure that someone would go and 'finish the job' as you so effectively put it earlier," Severus added

"The thing is, it is likely to be very dark magic, known only to few, after all, no one has managed that feat before, practically immortality, I do believe the only way would be to get the information directly from the horse's mouth"

"Then you are fool Quirrell"

"I only say that he is likely the only living being that knows such magic, where else would you find the answers? Though you would need someone of high intellect, a true Ravenclaw, someone undaunted by the task, as clearly you are Severus" Quirrell stuttered his way through

"And I suppose you think you can outwit the Dark Lord?" he scoffed, "Arrogance!"

"Maybe you hold your former master in too high regard?" Quirrell shot back

"No, I am, however, not ignorant of his abilities" he sneered, "What you suggest is dangerous Quirrell, you would be bested and most likely turned to his will."

"I never actually mentioned myself, I just mean someone, you seem so confident I am not the man, so confident that you know how dangerous it is, do you believe you could do it?" he scoffed

"I believe it's a foolish endeavour and there is no point entertaining the idea I, however, am able to at least guard my mind, I read you like a book Quirrell, it takes little to no effort" Unfortunately there were many conversations like this, and often Sirius would be joining in with them, agreeing and mocking Severus as they went on. Severus found that he had an ally in the most unlikely places, the very stern and strict Minerva, Head of Gryffindor house.

"You would do well to listen to some sense Quirrell, and I am shocked at you Black, and the throwaway remarks based on rumour, Severus would not have been hired if he had that kind of association, not without Albus being completely assured… You should both watch your tongues!"

"Really, Minerva, I mean no offence, rumours are rumours, and as for the Dark Lord, I feel it would be the achievement of a lifetime for young noble wizard with the means to track him and save the wizarding world from the looming shadow of his potential return, they would be the saviour of the wizarding world!" Quirrell finished.

"Rumours are rumours, well I guess that puts a reputation back together" Severus spat, though Severus knew the reputation that he needed was well intact and the rumours helped, he almost felt inclined to thank the man, but that would work against him too, he had to appear to be a Death Eater hiding under Dumbledore's protection, he had to appear to be fooling the greatest wizard in the world.

"Honestly Quirrell, you speak too much of honour, and I think you should stick to your lesson planning!" Minerva finished, and so Severus found himself on friendly terms with another Gryffindor, though as they were both Head of House for the two rival houses, this became rather a rivalry than a friendship, competing over Quidditch, competing for points, Minerva was more just than Severus, who on a hard day he would enjoy being unusually strict with Gryffindors, and they knew it. It was here that he got such a reputation at Hogwarts, the dark and imposing professor of the dungeons, the one that desperately wants the dark arts job, the one that fervently hates Gryffindor and will deduct points for anything. This was far more evil and satisfying to the students than petty rumours that he had been a Death Eater, these seemed far-fetched with Dumbledore so close at hand, trusting the professor openly and denouncing all rumours.

Quirrell found that he was more and more put out that no one jumped into his rescue or implied that they felt he was the man for the job, he had the sense of a man with a wounded ego, a man that was rarely taken seriously and would take drastic action to be noticed. Severus remembered having a similar attitude himself and knew where it led, but he could not find it in himself to congratulate the man on such dimwitted ideas nor be faced with the thought that he might accidentally encourage the man into action.

* * *

Sirius had taken his sweet time before getting to Filch having realised that when he was at school, he was one of Filch's least favourite students and seeing as Filch hated all students, this was really saying a lot, Sirius truly hoped that his charms would win Filch over and that as he was now a teacher, he would be granted his request easily. It was with that newly mustered confidence that he walked confidently down to Filch's office. He would remember the dingy little cupboard anywhere, it brought back so much nostalgia, he almost felt like he was 15years old again planning a daring mission to get confiscated goods from the precious draws of Filch's office, they were stuffed with goodies.

"Mr Filch!" Sirius started, he bounded up to the man's office, "I need you to give me something that was confiscated when I was at school" He smiled at the man expectantly.

"Sorry _Professor_ Black" he sneered, he had a delighted smile on his face, "Once confiscated, students can't get them back!" he cackled

"I'm not a bloody student!" he spoke exasperated.

"Rules are rules Mr Black" he sniggered and locked the door securely walking away. "That door has a charm on it, put there by Professor Dumbledore himself sonny, you won't get in there without me!" he chuckled as he walked.

He waited as Mr Filch walked off and sure enough, when he tried a series of spells to unlock a door, they all failed. Sulking he knew he would have to report back to Severus that he had failed. He walked slowly to Snape's office, dreading revealing his failure, knowing that as he had given Severus such a hard time, the man wasn't going to let him off the hook easily. Before too long he was already at the door, he knew the password but couldn't face seeing the man so soon, he knocked on the door waiting, hoping that no one would answer.

"Sirius?" Severus opened the door, "I take it you have the map and we can now track down Peter?"

"Actually…" he said ashamedly, "I ran into a little snag!" Severus stepped aside letting the man through. "You see the nasty bugger hates me!" he fumed as though it wasn't his fault.

"I imagine it might have something to do with your behaviour changing so little from when you were a student, comments made in the staff room have a habit of circulating" he closed the door and walked leisurely to his desk, sitting behind it, looking at the man in front of him. "Well maybe we shall have to take it without him knowing, there is no way he will give it to me now!" irritated, he gestures for Sirius to sit

"Apparently he has a charm on his door, Dumbledore did it, it can't be magically unlocked!" Sirius added, Severus sighed rolling his eyes.

"Did you try any other unlocking spells? Other than the standard Alohomora of course?"

"Of course, I'm not an imbecile," Sirius said rudely

"Really?" he retorted, "Well I think I have a few other ideas', You will have to distract him for some time."

"If necessary, I have a knife that will unlock any door, I don't want to use it, it will break the charm and Filch will know someone has been in his office" Sirius added "Oh and distracting Filch? I can do that, no problem, I can't wait to give that little creep the runaround." Sirius finished.

* * *

They worked together for the first time, just the two of them, making a plan to get Severus into the office. Sirius had secured his old friend's invisibility cloak to help Severus with his task. They planned to do it the following day and Severus spent some time finding a great number of unlocking spells of varying difficulties. The next morning he would feel very prepared.

The next morning Sirius brought the invisibility cloak to Severus' office. Sirius also handed over his knife.

"Severus, really try not to use that, and if its a really heavily protected lock, certain charms can melt the blade!" He handed over the cloak as well, Severus handed Sirius a bag of dung bombs, "What are these for?"

"Well I hear they were somewhat of a speciality of yours when you were here last" he smirked.

"O.k, So I am going to look like a right idiot, teacher setting of dung bombs!" Sirius took to bag shaking his head.

"Put it this way, that Weasley kid will love you for it, most of the kids will look up to you, though probably not in the way that they are supposed to" his smirk was still in play. With that Severus made sure he was covered in the cloak and put a folded up piece of parchment in his pocket, his wand was in his hand. "Am I completely covered?"

"Yea! Let's get this over with!" Sirius sighed, "You know I don't like looking like an idiot, this was cool when I was a kid" Severus held open the door for him to pass and walked on ahead leaving Sirius talking to himself. "Honestly Snape, I know I joke about, but I would like to be taken seriously" he looked about for any signs of the invisible man, "Snape are you there?" Receiving no reply, he rolled his eyes, "Very nice, you pillock!" he fumed and changed his plan altogether. Instead of following in the direction he knew that Snape had gone, he turned and walked away, directly to the dungeons that Severus taught in.

* * *

Sirius was now making his way to Filch, he searched for him and finally found him near his office.

"Mr Filch!" he called and held up a hand in what he thought was a more teacherly way of getting the mans attention. "I am afraid I have some bad news!" Filch's face looked like thunder, "Someone has set off some dung bombs in Professor Snape's classroom, but I think there were some potions in there as well, the entire room is coated in some foul smelling green goo. I tried to 'scourgify' it but that wouldn't shift it, I suspect they have placed a charm on it so it has to be cleaned manually, and I don't know how the smell is going to come out." He grimaced sympathetically. Sirius heard an irritated growl, clearly, Severus was nearby and didn't appreciate the new plan!

"BLOODY KIDS!" Filch fumed as he stormed down the corridor, his loyal cat following him.

"Honestly, you can smell it a mile of," Sirius said, turning towards the office that Filch had just locked with a huge grin on his face! "I don't envy Snape having to teach down there this week!" he laughed walking away.

Meanwhile, Severus was under the cloak and working his way down the list of unlocking spells, he was halfway down when the lock clicked and he was able to get inside, he made a mark for the locking charm he would need to use when he left and closed the door behind him. Removing the cloak he settled himself in front of a huge set of filing cabinets, all full of confiscated objects, a label on the cabinet said 'Confiscated and Extremely Dangerous'. He pulled out many varying zonko's products and piled them neatly on Filch's desk and as he dug further and further back he ended up with a few different bits of parchment, Sirius had told him how to tell he had the write one, command it to reveal its secrets, and use his own name.

"Professor Snape commands you to reveal your secrets" he said, and there was nothing, he moved on and the same happened with most of them, he then came to a much older looking piece of parchment and it was folded, opening it, it was much larger than he first realised, he repeated the command, words started to appear on the parchment;

'Mr Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other peoples business.

Mr Prongs agrees with Mr Moony and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.

Mr Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a Professor.

Mr Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.'

Clearly this was the correct parchment, however, it seems that Sirius had failed in giving him the true key to unlocking it. He pocketed the map and put all the other confiscated items back in the filing cabinet. He was soon out of the office, the office locked and making his way to his office, it wasn't long before he could smell the rotten stink coming from his usual classroom, he didn't know what Sirius had done but he could smell it a mile away, and from his office, the stink could still be smelt. There was no way he was giving the map up to him now, the message had just added insult to injury.

* * *

 Severus had to grin an bear it, he poured over the map and tried various passwords, he delved into what he knew of the Mauraders minds and even used their various insults for him as passwords and he got nowhere. Sirius eventually turned up.

"If you hand the map over I can unlock it" Sirius calmly asked, holding out his hand, clearly expecting it to be handed straight over.

"So which one are you? Padfoot, Prongs, Wormtail?" Severus asked, his voice cold

"I would be Padfoot, of course, your probably aware that Remus is Moony?"

"Hardly imaginative" replied Severus' easy drawl.

"Now the map please?" he responded,

"I'd like the password first, Mr Padfoot?"

"Sod off Snivelly," he sneered, "It's my map, just hand it over and then we can find Peter, that is the plan after all"

"Not much went according to plan, So I thought I would abandon it!"

"So you're just going to abandon looking for Peter?" still sneering, "Yes you've changed a lot!"

"Actually, I will find the password and find Peter with or without your help, you, however, are the one that has failed to mature past the ripe old age of 15" he continued, "Now if you want to continue the plan like a mature adult, you can tell me what the password is…" he waited, hoping to get his own way

"Yea right you greasy git" with that he walked from the room.

* * *

 Many months had gone by and Remus was with a werewolf colony, Severus had tried to get in contact with him, regarding the map, an attempt at getting the password without Sirius. Unfortunately, Remus had only managed to send the occasional message ensuring them that he was ok and had found no news, he would only reply that Sirius knew the password. This left Severus spending the many months trying to figure it out himself. Lily and Severus had really appreciated knowing that he was ok though. Severus felt a wave of guilt whenever he saw a full moon, each time realising that Remus would have to succumb to a full transformation due to his rash behaviour.

Lily and Severus had worked a lot with samples that Remus had provided, they used a muggle microscope to analyse closely the effect that the Wolfsbane potion had on the saliva. He had a lot of success with increasing wolfsbane, it seemed to neutralise much of the saliva samples though it also seemed to destroy aspects of them too and Severus feared that ramping this up too much would cause Remus permanent harm, he also discovered why the transformation had been so violent after his first adaptation, the powdered silver was a terrible idea, it aggravated rather than neutralised the saliva. With his varying samples, he was able to make notes on how each ingredient might react and even had some ideas for other tests when he could get more samples from Remus.

"Lily," he began one weekend, "I think I have enough to make a list of tests when Remus comes back? Maybe from there, we can have a few different options to work with" she smiled at him, her head in a book on magical maladies, and a notebook at her side.

"Sounds good" she mused, though he doubted she was paying much attention since she had been working on her application for St Mungo's Healer training.

"How's the application going?" he asked

"I think its great idea Sev, you're doing really well" she replied, he laughed softly as her brow furrowed, focusing on the words in front of her.

"Harry I do not think your mummy is listening!" Severus spoke to the child who was happily playing in the corner, he got up immediately and sat on the couch where his Mum and Severus where.

"Harry will listen," he said happily and reached his hands up to the usually stoic man. Severus pulled him on to his lap without hesitation and put his notes to one side.

"I think it's because Mummy is very busy!" he smiled, "What would Harry like to do?"

"Hye go peek" he smiled sweetly, Severus rolled his eyes

"If you must, I will count to 20" He smiled a little to himself as the child ran upstairs, "1! 2!" he started then looked at the woman beside him, he gently roused her from her book, "Call me when your done" he leant down and kissed her briefly before shouting, "Ready or not Mr Potter, Here I come!" She laughed at him as he stood up with a pained expression on his face.

"Just so you know, part of the fun is that you don't find him straight away, struggle to find him a little, its funnier that way!" she smiled turning back to her book with a chuckle.

Severus spent the afternoon searching and finding Harry over and over again. This had become what he expected of a weekend, it was a welcome break from the Sirius, Quirrell dynamic at Hogwarts. As the weekend's passed he became closer and closer to the little boy, falling into an easy and playful relationship. Harry seemed to understand his harshness was not to be taken too seriously, and even enjoyed his somewhat dry humour, though Severus made a concerted effort to soften for the small child.

"I found you again!" Severus grabbed hold of little Harry's ankles and pulled him gently from his hiding place, Harry was laughing hysterically. "Time for lunch I think" he added as the little boy grabbed Severus rather unceremoniously around the neck and Severus pulled him up walking out of the little boy's room and down the stairs.

"Nape, Nape, Eeeverus, Nape" Harry sang in a sing-song voice whilst cuddling the man's face, "Nape, Nape, Eeeverus, Nape!" he kissed the surly mans cheek, to which Severus made a quick play snap towards Harry, the little boy jumped back laughing hysterically again. "I love nape!" he hugged the man, Severus responded by playfully slobbering noisy kisses on the boy's cheek and neck, more giggles erupted from the tiny child in his arms.

"Nape loves Harry too," he said as they walked into the kitchen, Severus placed the child on the counter, opening the cupboards, searching for food.

"Chocy spread!" Harry pointed at the large jar of chocolate spread that stood in the front of the cupboard.

"That's not a proper meal" he perused some more taking pasta off the top shelf

"YUCK!" Harry shouted Severus turned to Harry and raised an eyebrow, Harry looked sheepish

"My food is never," he leaned closer to Harry, "ever" he leaned closer still, so both their noses were touching, "YUCK!" Harry licked Severus' face

"Chocy spread… pease!" Harry said smiling sweetly, his nose still touching Severus', who rolled his eyes at the little boy, moving away finally.

"A very small bit… whilst you wait for my YUMMY Pasta!" he took down the jar and made a small sandwich, then settled Harry at the table whilst he cooked 'proper tea'. Before long tea was made and on the table, luring Lily away from her work.

"Mmm, something smells delicious" she exclaimed, walking over to the table, she kissed Harry on the head, "Did you have a good day playing with Sev?" she asked

"Me and Nape!" he said, exaggerating Severus nickname, "Had lots of fun!" grabbing a fork he speared his pasta and ate it happily.

"And how was your day, Nape?" she smiled as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Oh the best!" he leaned down and kissed the beautiful redhead, up on her tiptoes she deepened the kiss.

"Yuck!" shouted Harry

"Harry you have just been eating it quite happily," he said as he turned from his beautiful woman to the child at the table, who had in fact shovelled half the pasta away already.

"Kissing Yuck!" He made a face as he ate more pasta.

"Oh really!" Lily responded, "Guess that means no more kissing Harry" she smiled with mock sadness

"Shame really, I love giving Harry kisses," Severus added, they both sat down to eat.

"Harry kisses are good, grown-up kisses are gross!" Harry stuck his tongue as if to highlight the truth of what he was saying. Severus laughed nervously

"but Mummy likes kisses from Sev _and_ Harry!" she pushed out a big fat bottom lip,

"I'm sorry Lily" Severus joked awkwardly, "Like Harry said, It's gross" and he stuck his tongue out mimicking Harry.

"Grown-up kisses make Mummy happy?" Harry asked his face confused, he sat thinking his pasta abandoned. "does Mummy kiss Siri and Emus too?" he questioned

"I don't know, Mummy? Do you kiss Siri and Emus too?" Severus asked, a slight smile playing on his face. Lily blushed.

"No Harry, grown-up kisses are different, Sirius and Remus are close friends, but they aren't like Severus, Mummy old kisses Severus, and yes, it makes Mummy quite happy" She blushed. Harry sat lost in thought yet again

"Is it like how Neville's Mummy only kisses Neville's Daddy?" Harry asked again. Lily and Severus' eyes widened with shock at young Harry's perceptiveness.

"A bit like that … yes" Lily choked out, Severus shoved pasta in his mouth, hoping he wouldn't have to answer.

"What's the difference?" Harry asked

"Well Neville's Mummy and Daddy are married, Severus and I aren't, sweetie," Lily continued, blushing slightly, her pasta was abandoned, Harry sat thinking some more.

"So" Harry tilted his head to the side, looking at Severus, "Will you and Mummy be married someday too?" Severus choked on his pasta, Lily looked at him, a smile on her face, he wanted the floor to swallow him up so he could just ignore the question.

"Excuse me?" he said finally swallowing the huge amount of pasta he had shoved in his mouth, Harry let out a big sigh,

"I said..." Exasperatedly, he continued "Will you and Mummy be married too?"

"Err... one day...er maybe... I would...um, like that... very much" the words tumbled out of his mouth. Harry paused thinking some more.

"And kissing Mummy makes you happy too?" he asked

"Erm... I guess it does" Severus replied quickly, his cheeks looking a healthier shade of pink, begging the conversation to end, and hopefully positively

"Oh, ok, I think you should be allowed to kiss Mummy then," Harry then turned right back to his pasta, Lily, however, pulled Severus towards her catching his lips with hers.

"One day I would like that too" she whispered in his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, Kudos and review - I recently found that my spell checker had been changing 'cloak' to 'clock' due to a kind reviewer! Also, I love to hear when people get all squishy over the gorgeous fluff I dole out!


	10. A Present from my Sister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "WELL LET ME PLAY AND NOT HAVE A STINKY BATH! I HATE YOU, I DON'T WANT A BATH! SEV DOESN'T MAKE ME HAVE A BATH, I. AM. NOT. HAVING. ONE!" 
> 
> It was at this point that Severus walked into the bathroom, he drew himself to full height and folded his arms, on his face was the expression that all Hogwarts students feared, it meant detention and losing points.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, there have been many Kudos! Thank you! And the comments have been appreciated too.

Chapter 12 - A present from my Sister

Back in Cheshire in the small village of Barton, Frank and Alice had been trying to get back into their normal lives, the problem was there new normal was nothing like the old one. Frank easily one of the most forbidding Aurors, aside from Mad-Eye of course, now was living like a muggle. Severus' test using the Floo had given Frank hope for a while but as the treatment at St Mungo's didn't really do anything for him, his memory got better, but his mood did not, he attempted to use his wand and he found this sunk him into a deeper depression each time he plucked up the courage to try. Alice would use the little magic she had, she couldn't do anything special, but it was clear that Frank resented it, he resented her for what she had managed to hold on to. He knew it wasn't right, but something inside him had changed whilst he was unconscious.

"Frank?" Alice called tentatively, everything was tentative these days, she walked through their beautiful countryside garden, finding him sat outside looking out at the landscape. His eyes were distant, focused only on the horizon. "You want some tea?" she sat beside him and placed a cup beside him on the bench, she slipped her hand into his resting her head on his shoulder.

"I think I want to be alone" Was all that he would say, removing his hand from hers, however, he picked up the tea and began to sip.

"Frank!" her voice was gentle but urgent, he looked at her and in her eyes, he saw the hurt, "You can't keep doing this, you can't just give up on life, you are only not the only one suffering you know!" emotion seeped into her voice.

"I know" He murmured, however, there was little emotion there, "Problem is Alice…I just can't bring myself to care" She looked into his eyes, there was nothing.

"So nothing then? You don't have anything to say to me?" more and more tearful she continued, "I didn't do this you know? What about Neville?" her eyes started to well up and her voice started to crack, "Frank, try" she pleaded as the tears spilt over.

"I'd like to be alone Alice" and he said nothing more.

"NO!" She burst out, she seemed to lose all understanding of him. "You need to start dealing with this Frank, staring at the horizon isn't going to change anything, you will end up with a son that barely knows you, or even worse, a son that doesn't want to know you! He keeps calling for his daddy, but his dad won't come, you should be ashamed of yourself!" She was coming apart at the seams, he could see it, he hated that he didn't care, but expressing how he felt, that he couldn't stand to be near anyone, it was so hard. He loved her, he wanted it to be different, but the weight of what he was feeling was crushing, suffocating, he felt like he needed to breathe, needed air, but nothing was working. Nothing.

"I'll try," he said, he stood and took her hand, a small smile in place. She tried to nestle closer to him as they walked to the house, but Frank moved away from the embrace, though still holding her hand. In the house was his little boy playing with his grandmother. she was a stern looking woman all in green, her bright red handbag and a tall hat complete with a stuffed vulture was set to one side, her grey her was wild, held into a bun on her head, it looked like it was trying to break free, her lined face was severe.

"This boy doesn't show much magical ability… It's getting late Frank!" the woman had a gravelly voice, harsh and uncaring, her manner was abrupt, "I think we might need to force it out of him, can't have a squib in the family!" she muttered on and on about the family pride and Neville showing the magical ability that Frank had shown at such a young age. Frank let go of Alice's hand, turning to walk away, first he leaned into Alice;

"I'm sorry" he was gone, to the usual spot to look at the landscape to try and not feel.

"Augusta!" Alice cried, "WHY?!" tears on the edge spilt out, "He finally came in!" she fell into a nearby chair, sobbing, the small child tottered over to his mother,

"Mummy?" he called and reached up for her, Alice picked him up, the little boy said nothing but put his arms around her neck and kissed her gently on the cheek, they cuddled for a while.

"Alice!" Augusta's reply came swiftly, "The sooner Frank pulls himself out of this, the sooner he will be able to produce his magic again… letting him wallow as you do will do no good… you are too soft!" her voice as strict as ever, she came across as uncaring, maybe she was, maybe family pride was more of a concern to her. Alice couldn't be sure.

"And you are too harsh!" she spat out, "Thank you for your help today Augusta, but I think that I have things sorted for the rest of the day!" she promptly got up, tears still rolling, Neville clutching her face, one arm embracing him, she moved quickly to the front door and used her other arm to open it, "I will call you in the morning" she said with a note of finality

It continued like this for some time, he became less and less understanding of Alice and more and more envious of the small bits of magic that she could do. Alice couldn't cope without the help of Augusta and Augusta made things worse for Frank. The distance got bigger and bigger between them, there was so little time for them to just be with each other and happy, there was no time or space to pull him out of the depression. It was on another day like this that Frank finally lost his cool with Alice;

"NO!" he spat as she tried to pull him out of another bout of depression, "WE ARE NOT IN THE SAME BOAT!" His eyes were cold and unfeeling like he could care less what damage his words would do. "I lost EVERYTHING! You still have it!" he spat the words at her, her face turned stony, her love for him in jeopardy, her thoughts turned to her son,

"You lost everything?" She questioned, "Neville is right in there! He's waiting for  _YOU_! I AM STOOD HERE FIGHTING FOR  _YOU_!" Tears came again, they came too often these days, "You haven't lost everything yet frank!" she started to walk away, then thinking she turned looking at the shocked man, "But you very well might!" and with that, she walked away.

* * *

It was getting on in the year at Hogwarts, Sirius was still not talking with Severus and neither of them was willing to relent on the map situation. Though things were maybe not as harsh as things had been previously, Quirrell had found the harsh words from the likes of Minerva McGonnagal not too much to his liking and had been somewhat warmer. This led Sirius in a more moral direction rather than the usual childish arrogant directions that he spent so much time pursuing. Lunch in the staff room gave way to much more productive talks.

"Severus?" Quirrell began, "Why were there so many rumours about you and the Dark Lord?" His tone was kind and questioning, he was after all a Ravenclaw and was very inquisitive.

"At school I was friendly with a lot of outspoken Death Eaters" he said simply, "Being seen in that kind of company is damning alone, but refusing to join rank in that company is just as damning, I had to work very hard not to anger either side of the war" This after all was the story that they had thought was best to sell, that he had managed to convince people he had joined neither side, Severus had somewhat of a reputation from school, that he held certain views was generally believed, that he would openly defy what the Dark Lord, as he had done, should be seen as unlikely, considering his future task.

"Yes…" Quirrell mused, "At the time, that would have been the wisest stance" he sat considering again, "though, in peace, you would defy him? I am right in thinking you would not protect him now?" Quirrell questioned some more.

"Of course,"

"So what is your … hesitancy in attempting to destroy the Dark Lord now?" his voice was purely academic at this point, a matter of understanding the complexities of a colleague.

"I think it unwise to get too close to a man who has manipulated so many into doing his bidding without knowing exactly how to destroy him"

"But if we had the information, the knowledge, you would?" He queried,

"I would help whoever I felt best suited to the task, I do not think that this is me" Severus looked at the man, he did not seem to be evil, in fact he seemed very much to wonder at the loyalties of Severus, and he felt that it was a shame he could not speak the truth about his involvement with the Dark Lord, he felt that his knowledge would put an end to the man's foolish line of thought, He was a good man with a morality, but he was more driven by a need, a need to be seen, that is why he had to change his actions towards Severus, he couldn't allow himself to be seen by others in anything resembling an unsavoury light.

"If I am honest Severus," he paused, "My mind is unwavering, I do believe that research should be done, I believe it is the right and honourable thing to find whatever is left and destroy it,"

"I do not think that you would be able to" and that was all that Severus would say on the matter. He and Quirrell would do this regular dance and he saw the foolish arrogance of Quirrell, an arrogance that was planted in many a Ravenclaw, that with the right knowledge you can achieve anything, however, he knew that this weakness, this arrogance would be the man's undoing if he could not be dissuaded from his plans. Quirrell would never outright admit to his plans, however, the thoughts betrayed him, he knew Quirrell sought the glory for this action. And that thought being there was dangerous, all the Dark Lord needed was help in gaining a body again, and Severus knew many ways he could, possession, potions, a philosophers stone, there were too many ways, and Harry needed to be kept safe from his return, safe for a long time he hoped.

"We can overcome any obstacle with hard work and a keen mind" was all that the man would say, and there lay the problem, Quirrell truly believes that he could best the Dark Lord. Severus excused himself, walking purposefully, his robes billowing as they did, students backed away from the man immediately, the imposing man didn't even notice, he arrived at the Headmasters office and spoke the password, the griffin revealed he stood on the stair and it moved slowly up towards the large wooden door of Albus' office.

"Albus" He called as he knocked.

"Come in" the elder wizard called.

Severus found Albus sat at his desk deep in thought, he had parchments scattered over his desk and a pensive before him, he was focused only on the swirling clouds of smoky liquid within. "Professor" he called, Albus looked up, his eyes for a second looked weary, then the twinkle arrived and he was the light-hearted professor that everyone adored.

"Severus?"

"I have concerns about Quirrell" he moved and sat in a chair in front of the large oaken desk, averting his eyes from the stone basin, knowing it was thoughts and memories trapped within, to look was a violation.

"Indeed" he spoke, "what are they?" his attention now moved purely to the man before him, a man he had found he quite liked, though the memories of the night he brought intelligence to him and the feelings he had before came to the forefront, he couldn't help but feel that the price he had put on Lily's life was worth it, not for saving Lily but for saving Severus.

"He has idiotic hair-brained schemes on how to defeat the dark lord now that he has been partially destroyed, and he needs to be dissuaded from this foolish endeavour" his tone stern and callous though he was not as uncaring as he seemed these days.

"I believe you are best equipped for the job Severus, no one knows better than yourself"

"I have spoken, as much as I am able, however he has a Ravenclaw arrogance which makes him believe he can accomplish anything with the right book under his arm" he paused, "I also see a defiant streak and an urge to claim some fame and glory and that this would be the act that would get it for him, the desire to be seen as the all 'conquering hero'" He sneered, "He is weak minded and would be bent to the dark lords will with great ease, and I am sure before you know it, we would have a Quirrell shaped dark lord or worse, he only needs aid"

"Sirius is getting closer to Quirrell…" Dumbledore mused, "I wonder if it wise to get him to speak to Quirrell? I do not want to push so hard that Quirrell acts, as you say, he has the desire to be seen a certain way, and for people to tell him he is unable… it could be the push that forces him to try and prove us wrong, earlier rather than later."

"My thoughts exactly…" he paused, "I am not sure that Sirius has the tact?" he questioned.

"He has the man's trust…" Albus turned to his pensive again, musing at the memories beneath, it seemed like he had forgotten Severus was there for the moment, until he spoke again, "I am trying Severus, to discover his secret… You say he hinted at immortality"

"Strongly hinted, and the prophecy never daunted him, like he was certain he would survive any attack"

"Though frightened enough to attempt the kill the child…" he mused, "The man still fears death and yet has some safeguard… I need to find what it is Severus,"

"Headmaster, is there anything I can do?" The headmaster pulled out a piece of parchment and handed it over, "I want you to add any other ideas you may have to this list, ways through which he may be able to return, there may be dark paths that you know of that I do not" again the weary look on his face showed. Severus took the list and analysed it, then he folded it neatly and put it in his pocket, knowing he would have to research and consider the list carefully.

* * *

The weekend before Easter holidays had arrived, Severus had already made his preparations to get to Lily as early as possible, instead of going Saturday morning like usual, he decided he would skip the evening meal and go Friday night, just to see her face light up. He had taken to keeping less and less at Hogwarts, it was a great excuse for needing to nip over midweek, it was a surprise for Lily and he loved how her face lit up when she saw him unexpectedly. There had been more than one awkward conversation with Harry since they brought their relationship out in front of Him, Severus was surprised just how perceptive the child was and he could see the little cogs in his brain figuring out the changes that he saw, trying to figure out the differences between all the males in his home, and what was special about Mummy.

He floo'd over to Lily's home and found the place in a complete uproar as Harry was screaming the place down, apparently, bedtime was not something that he was happy about today. Severus hadn't really seen him in the throes of a tantrum, he hadn't quite believed the tales he heard from Sirius and Lily about the little boy that would refuse to go to bed and kick and scream his way to bed defiant taking hours to settle until he finally fell asleep from exhaustion.

"NO!" He heard Harry shout, "I AM NOT HAVING A BATH! I HATE HAVING A BATH! I DON'T WANT A SMELLY BATH! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOO" Severus couldn't believe the pitch and volume the tiny child could reach.

"NOW!" That was Lily, attempting to be stern, "HARRY POTTER, YOU WILL BEHAVE AND GET IN THIS BATH AT ONCE!" Severus made his way upstairs, unsure if he really wanted to get involved, It felt like more of a parent thing, not a boyfriend of the mum kind of thing, the lines were far too blurred. It was also much nicer to only be involved with Happy Harry! He heard banging and crashing in the bathroom

"NOOOOOOO" more banging and crashing

"Harry Potter!" Her voice was calmer though it was filled with anger and disappointment, "You do not throw bath toys at mummy! That hurts!" Severus was almost there, and yes he would be getting involved, he sighed slightly to himself, he knew that part of being with Lily meant being with Harry too, and he could not allow him to grow up like that, after all, He was in this for the long haul.

"WELL LET ME PLAY AND NOT HAVE A STINKY BATH! I HATE YOU, I DON'T WANT A BATH! SEV DOESN'T MAKE ME HAVE A BATH, I. AM. NOT. HAVING. ONE!" It was at this point that Severus walked into the bathroom, he drew himself to full height and folded his arms, on his face was the expression that all Hogwarts students feared, it meant detention and losing points.

"Harry Potter!" he took his time over-pronouncing each syllable of the child's name, his brows furrowed. Harry clearly didn't recognise the danger, his face was still furious. "I believe it is BATH time!" he spoke slowly as he walked over to the small child looking down at him in his little temper tantrum, Harry sank back into the wall, "And time to apologise to your mum!" he raised a brow, looking down at the boy who had a sheepish look on his face.

"I don't want to" he defied, though he no longer had the tantrum to go with it.

"I. Don't. Care." Severus knelt down so he was closer to Harry's level. "Harry I am shocked!" he paused again, Harry looked up at him, almost fearful.

"I don't have to have a bath!" He defied some more. At this Severus reached out for the child and started removing his T-shirt, Harry didn't fight but started crying.

"NOOOOOOO" he sobbed, "I don't wannaaaaaa" Severus removed his trousers until the little boy stood there butt naked he lifted him into the bath. Harry stood in the bath, arms folded and a face like thunder.

"I do believe we are now awaiting your apology?" He looked at Harry and waited.

"NO!"

"Excuse me?" Severus' voice dangerous

"I SAID NOOOOOO!"

"Pass me your hand Harry" His voice was calm Harry looked at him unsure, Severus held his hand out to Harry, waiting. Harry lifted his hand almost smirking at the man, completely defiant, he knew what was coming. Severus gave it a small smack, not too hard. "Say sorry to Mummy!"

"HA!" Said Harry, "That didn't even hurt!" defiance rose, Severus smacked his hand again, a little harder

"Say sorry to mummy, now" still holding the hand, he saw the pain in Harry's eyes from the small smack, but he the little boy wanted to win.

"NO! and IT STILL DIDN'T HURT!" he cried, and Severus smacked the small hand again, just a little harder than the last time.

"Apologise to mummy" Was all Severus would say, he tried to keep the stern tone to his voice, but couldn't help finding the defiance a tad amusing.

"I don't want to!" He began crying now, this would be the last time, Severus smacked the hand again and Harry burst into full-blown tears, in reality, it hadn't even been that hard a smack, any of them. "I'M SORRY!" He wailed and Severus pulled him into a little cuddle.

"I think Mummy needs a cuddle, I think throwing those toys hurt Mummy!" He gave a final look to Harry before leaving Lily to bath time, Harry cuddled her and Severus heard many more apologies and promises that Harry would never ever throw a temper tantrum again. It wasn't long before Harry was coming out of the bath, Severus was sat in the next room listening in case more trouble ensued.

"Come on you little munchkin!" she wrapped Harry in a towel, it was huge and fluffy and drowned the little boy. "Off we go" she carried him to his bedroom. Drying and getting him in some PJ's. Harry was quiet. "Right Mr, I think you're ready for bed, do you want to choose a story?" The little boy looked sheepish fiddling with the corner of his pyjama top.

"I want Nape to read me, but he won't, I was bad" he sulked, his big green eyes downcast staring at the hand that was smacked. Severus heard and thought maybe he had taken the whole discipline thing too far, he never felt bad at Hogwarts, but here, he felt like he truly hurt the little boy he enjoyed so much.

"You don't think he would want to?" she questioned, "Why is that?"

"Cause he smacked me" he pointed to his hand

"OH" Lily held his little hand, "Does that mean Harry doesn't want to spend time with Mummy anymore?" she asked, Harry, looked confused. "Well Harry you threw things at me because you were very angry, a lot angrier that Severus, so maybe that means you don't want to spend time with me?"

"No…" he sulked, Severus listened, "It's not the same, You weren't being bad, I was, so I would love spending time with you, but now Nape knows I'm bad sometimes, maybe he doesn't like me anymore"

"Ok…" she stroked his hand, "What did Sev do after he smacked you?" Harry looked up confused.

"He made me pologise!" he said simply

"After that?"

"He left me to have my bath" his face still confused, Severus smiled, he got the point she was making, and yet the little boy only remembered him leaving, clearly Severus needed to learn how to make a more lasting impression with hugs!

"Before that Harry!" He just looked confused, "Harry, he hugged you!" she smiled at him, "Do you hug people that you don't like and never want to see?"

"No, I only hug my favourite people" he smiled

"Did you know, Severus hugs even fewer people than you" she smiled leaned into his little face that was starting to smile too, "That must mean you are really really special" she whispered. Severus smiled, he couldn't believe his lack of hugs was working in his favour.

"Really!" his eyes opened wide

"OH yea, He only hugs me… and You!" she smiled, "He doesn't even hug Remus! and Remus and Severus are very very good friends!" Severus couldn't help laughing inside as he eavesdropped on the conversation between the only two people he had ever hugged, the thought of hugging Remus being a little odd, he knew, it would never happen, he just wasn't a hugger!

"WOW!" He broke into a huge smile

"How about you go ask about that story" she smiled

"erm…" he went all shy again, "I think you should ask" he squirmed, Severus thought about making it easy for the little boy by going in and reading straight away. Lily spoke too soon.

"I think it would make Sev very happy if you went and asked" he still looked so frightened and uncertain, "Go on… he's not going to bite!" Severus heard the pitter patter of tiny feet as he sat on Lily's bed and the little boy tottered into view and just looked at Severus, who was now a big scary man, not just the man with the funny face that reads the best stories.

"erm… Mr Nape" He looked at his hands again, standing a good deal away from Severus.

"Harry?" He asked, his voice as soft as he could make it, his face as kind as he could arrange it.

"It's ok, I'm going to bed now!" he turned around, "Goodnight!" and he started to waddle off.

"Without a bedtime story?" Severus asked he stood up and picked Harry up and held him close, "I came back tonight just so we could have a nice story" It's only a little white lie he thought, "Am I allowed to read one?" Harry smiled

"I would really like Babbitty Rabbity please!" and he hugged Severus, it seemed that the scary man was gone and he had his Nape back. Lily smiled, so happy that things were going so well. "Do you really not hug anyone but me and Mummy?" He asked shocked

"No, just my two super favourite people," Severus said, a little ashamed at using a phrase like 'super favourite', as they walked into the little boys bedroom, using his wand he moved the covers back and placed the little boy in bed, pulling up the duvet and tucking him in very snuggly.

"Nape?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"You wanna sit next to me to read, you can have a pillow and everything!" he said moving over to the furthest edge of the bed, making space.

"Thank you," he then took off his shoes and sat on the bed, Harry pulled his covers over his legs and handed him a spare pillow. Harry handed Severus the special bedtime book that he had got from this very man last Christmas. "OK, The tale of-"

"Wait!" Harry urged "I'm not cosy yet" Severus looked at the young boy arranging his pillows then Harry forced his head under Severus' arm and snuggles into him. "you're more snuggly than a pillow" he finished, matter-of-factly. Severus stared down at the young boy and started to read his favourite story, they didn't even get to the cackling stump before the little boy lightly snored.

"I have no idea why he likes me to read" he whispered, "He never stays awake!" gently placing Harry's head on the 'spare' pillow, he extracted himself from the bed.

"It's your voice" she whispered as they left the room.

"What's wrong with my voice?" they made their way downstairs,

"It's rich, warm and very comforting" she smiled as they found themselves snuggled on the couch, "And Harry's right, you are more snugly than a pillow!"

"I hope you didn't mind how I er- handled things earlier" he had been worrying about it, thinking maybe he overstepped, or had an approach she didn't approve of.

"Your kidding?" she smiled, "It was inspired"

"You don't think I overstepped?" he questioned

"No, your the person he spends most time with after me since Remus isn't here, you didn't hurt him, you taught him that your there for the good and the bad, you taught him what is expected of him," she smiled "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something else?"

"Yes?"

"Alice and Frank…" she gazed at him and he just looked at her, "Well you did that thing with the Floo? I just wondered if you had an idea of what might help restore even a little of what they lost?"

"There are ideas, but nothing concrete and I am not experimenting again… not after Wolfsbane attempt number 1!"

"I know, I just mean, could we try and find something concrete? I think it's really affecting them, Frank I mean, Alice called me in tears the other day, he barely talks to her" her eyes saddened.

"We can look at some ideas over the Easter holidays? Maybe test some of the theories?" he knew he would do anything for her, anything to see her smile, that meant doing tests in his potions cellar all easter trying to find a miracle, he would.

"Sounds great" She smiled and snuggled on the couch they sit in silence for a while. "erm."

"What do you want?" He smiled rolling his eyes in jest.

"Alice wants to meet for lunch tomorrow, just me and her, no babies!" she smiled sweetly looking at Severus.

"But what about Harry?" he asked, his face serious, his tone mocking.

"Well I have been dating this really hot professor, I thought I'd ask him!" she sat up.

"Sounds a bit risky, he might say no!"

"Oh, I plan on making it worth his while" She smiled getting up from her snuggly position at his side.

"Really?"

"Oh yes!" She placed herself on his lap, "So worth it"

"And how are you going to manage that?" He smirked

"I plan on seducing him" Severus laughs lightly, his arms moving around her body

"How?" he smiled, she moved herself to a straddling position, her long red her falling around their faces like a curtain.

"I'll show you!" she whispered as her hands moved to the buttons on his shirt, kissing him from his lips then along his jaw, to that spot right under his ear, her hands now on his bare chest. He caught her lips again in a deep kiss, he pulled her closer leaving no space between their bodies, the kiss became more intense. Her hands had pulled open his shirt now, Severus hands snaking beneath her top, she moaned into the kiss, wrapping his arms around her he held her securely and moving them so she was now laying on the couch.

"You can have whatever you want!" he whispered, placing no weight on her at all, he kissed her more lightly now.

"I'll just take you thanks" she smiled, pulling his weight on top of her as their kiss deepens.

* * *

The following day Severus had simply no objections to babysitting Harry, in fact, he told her to stay as long as she wanted, that he and Harry would be just fine. Before she left she kissed Harry on the cheek and then leaning into Severus she whispered "Now I know just how to get what I want!" she smiled before pecking him lightly and grabbing some Floo powder, within seconds she was gone. Lily arrived at Alice's to find that Frank was not as happy about being left with Neville alone.

"He's your son Frank, I won't be long!" she looks imploringly, "Bye baby!" she smiles sweetly at the chubby-faced toddler in his father's arms. "I'll see you later ok?" she looks at her husband.

"You have nothing to worry about" he smiled at his wife but it didn't reach the eyes, he pecked her on the cheek, it wasn't like Lily's peck on Severus' cheek, it was obligatory, it was to look normal, to show a smooth surface that covered all the cracks to the outsider that stood in their kitchen.

"Lily, there is a lovely new cafe that opened close by! It's called The Beacon!" She grabbed her bag, "They bake fresh on site and the cakes are just to die for!" she smiled.

"Brilliant" She smiled, and before long they were making their way to a cute little cafe, the dreaded baker had recommended the homemade soup for lunch, chunky vegetable with homemade bread rolls, warm from the oven. Lily loved it, with the awkwardness in the house forgotten they sat and enjoyed.

"So, hows things at home?" she smiled at the young woman before her

"AMAZING" she squealed, "Honestly, I didn't think he would be like this… He's attentive"

"OH!" she laughed, "He's attentive is he!"

"I didn't mean like that!" she laughed, "I correct myself, He's attentive in many many ways!" she smiled

"Seriously, Severus Snape… boyfriend material?" she smiled, "I never would have guessed it."

"He hides all his best qualities" she smiled, Alice winked at her. "Your mind is in the gutter, Mrs Longbottom!"

"Come on! Details… they don't need to be sexy details, but some details would be great!" she egged Lily on, "I'm an older woman who's been married for years, I'm living vicariously through you!"

"You want to know what shocked me the most?"

"OH please! Juicy!" Alice beamed, she looked alive, happier than she had looked or sounded in some time.

"He's ROMANTIC!"

"NOOOOOO!"

"YEA!" she gushed, "Before he went to Hogwarts he cooked this gorgeous meal to say goodbye, and Alice I mean gorgeous, the man can cook! All my favourites, dimmed lighting, my favourite love songs in the background!" she gushed "And-" she smiled widely, "He didn't use an ounce of magic, He sat there with a muggle tape recorder, recording all my favourite songs!"

"I remember when Frank was romantic…" she mused, "It ended after 7th year!" she laughed happily "Tell me more!"

"Well there are certain things he did that are beyond romantic that I am not allowed to share, as he feels it would utterly destroy his reputation!" she giggled

"Oh it's destroyed for me already!" she smiled, "swear I won't tell a soul!" Lily laughed

"We danced… around the living room, he twirled me, he kissed me, he is such a good kisser!" she blushed.

"It sounds like the attack of the body snatcher!" she laughs, "Seriously whatever happened to Snape! Mr Severe!"

"I have no idea, but it's not just with me… Harry adores him!"

"Does Harry know?" she asked, "I mean does he get it, that he's Mummy's 'special' friend!" she wangled her eyebrows at Lily

"Yes" she laughed "And that was the single most hilarious conversation I have ever been a part of!" she laughs before regaining her composure, "So I kissed Severus in front of Harry, his response is 'yuck!' And he makes this awkward face, and we chat about it, He asked if I kissed Sirius and Remus, Sev loved that! Thought it was hilarious! So Harry asked if it was anything like how Neville's Mummy and Daddy only kiss each other!" Alice's smile faltered a moment, then back in place as quickly as it left "I explain it's similar, Severus is ramming pasta down his throat so he doesn't have to talk and getting more and more embarrassed by the second! Harry asked what the difference was… He ends up asking Severus if he plans on marrying me!" They both laughed but something was missing from Alice's eyes, it wasn't genuine mirth or maybe it was the pang of pain. "And he made him answer!" she smiled and noticed Alice wasn't finding this story quite as funny, "Alice? What's wrong!?"

Tears welled in her eyes, she started to shake her head, like she didn't want to talk, "Just tell me another funny story!" her voice was weak, her jaw stiff as she held back the dam of emotions.

"No Alice … What's wrong?"

"No Lil, just please!"

"NO!" Lily demanded, "Alice you are my friend and I have sat and cried all over you, many many times, you have cared and listened, It's my turn to be there for you, now spill!"

"We barely talk Lil" she looked at her friend, and a single tear slid down. "That stone cold peck on the cheek is the warmest things have been, in a while!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise it was that bad?"

"Well, it's more the fact that Frank doesn't want to talk... to anyone, be with anyone, even his son! Augusta makes everything worse, she's some sort of armchair purist, when she's in the house its all about if Neville is a Squib, family pride and he can't stand to be around it, he has no hope and he doesn't engage unless to tell me he's lost everything!" tears began to flow now, "Well I reached my limit, I lost it, and now apparently I have taken to threatening to leave my husband to get him to speak to me!"

"I know he's lost a lot, but he will see that he's not lost everything, surely?"

"We just don't get the time to connect, at all, ever, and I know I am a horrible person for making this about me and what it's doing to me, I know he's depressed and I know it's hard to pull out of that, but honestly, Lily, I don't think he's even trying and I think I am starting to hate him for it!" she pulled her big slice of cake towards her, ignoring the healthy soup, she starts eating cake like there is no tomorrow.

"It's not just him, you are going through this as well, does nothing else work, nothing else makes him come to you, or is it just the threat of you walking?"

"Its a cycle, last night I said I was taking me and Neville and going to my mums, and so now he's  _trying_ " she looked at Lily, stony eyes, "I use the word 'trying' very loosely" she ate the rest of her cake.

"Can I do anything? Maybe I can take Neville one weekend, you won't need Augusta around and maybe you can reignite something without her making everything worse?" Alice looked at her.

"You'd do that?" she smiled

"Of course!" she held her friend's hand and put half her cake on her now empty plate! "Contrary to popular belief, I find eating your feelings helps!" Alice laughed. "Alice you just need to show him what he has to live for. He will come to you, He loves you, He just can't feel it right now, and that's mainly cause he can't feel anything" Alice nodded and wiped up her tears.

"Yea your right, He's a good man my Frank, I can't quit on him when he needs me" she smiled.

"But you thought about it?" Lily asked hiding her shock

"The first time I honestly thought I was going to, then he reacted, I thought things were going to change, I thought we turned a corner, but then we were right there again, no talking... that's when I started to see it as a tool, I think I could though if nothing changed, Neville deserves better!"

"He does, but Frank will get there, he just needs some help" she smiled, "What do St Mungo's say?"

"He isn't honest with them, so he won't take anything to help it, nothing changes, its a like being on a carousel, round and round with no end!"

"So maybe when he opens up next weekend, you try to get him to agree to go to St Mungo's and to be honest, and try to keep Augusta away, no matter how much I need to babysit!"

* * *

Before long Lily was back in her very own kitchen, the weight of the world on her shoulders, or rather the weight of Frank and Alice's marriage. "Sev?" she called out. He was sat in the dining room, Harry and Severus having lunch.

"Through here" he called back. She walked through and her eyes showed the morning that she had, "You ok?" he asked mildly, surely it couldn't be that bad, Alice was one of Lily's best friends.

"It's bad Sev, I really want to help" She looked at him with a sheepish look, "I already did something!" she made a wincing face, "You may not like it!"

"Well, it's a good job you know how to get exactly what you want from me these days isn't it?" He smirked

"Next weekend, we have Neville, for the whole weekend!" She winced some more.

"How come?"

"Well he's depressed, she cant get through to him because her mother in law is always there making stupid remarks about Neville being a squib, family pride and all that, makes it harder for her to help him, there's zero love or romance there at the moment"

"So you figured we take the kid, Frank get's laid, problem solved?" he questioned with a smirk.

"Well not quite, but I guess you get the gist" she smiled.

"I can see how them being alone would help" He smiled, "It's good of you to help, Alice helped me, I believe she helped you, I'm more than happy to help out"

"Sev you amaze me sometimes, you seem one way, but you continually surprise me with just how loving and caring you are… you know underneath your scary reputation!"

"OH, I am not that good, I expect payment!" he laughed pulling her to him, she giggled.

* * *

She awoke nervously, today she would be going to start her training at St Mungo's, not only that but it was also Harry's first day at nursery. She was a bundle of nerves as she got Harry dressed and packed him up a lunch. Dressed in normal muggle clothes, she had her green healer robes in her bag, ready to change into once she arrived at St Mungos. Harry was being a bit of a terror and didn't want to go to nursery, they had put it off for far too long but today he had to go.

"Come on Harry," she urged, "We need to get to the nursery, Mummy needs to go to work!"

"No!" he whined, "I wanna stay home with Mummy!" he complained.

"Well we can't bud, so let's get sorted and out of the door, Sev will pick you up!" she bargained with the child. His expression changed.

"OK Mummy, is Nape staying at home tonight or being at Hogwarts?"

"I don't know Harry," she said bundling him out of the door, "It depends how much work he has!" she opened the car and began strapping him into a car seat. "Now remember Harry, no magic at nursery!" she smiled, she got into the car and started to drive to the small local nursery where Harry would be spending his days for the rest of the year whilst Lily was in training. The nursery was nice enough, he had visited with Lily a few times, but always refused to stay alone, this time though, he would have to.

"Sorry Harry, you can't come back today!" It broke Lily's heart to leave him, but she was going to be late.

"NO, MUMMY PLEASE!" he cried.

"Sev will pick you up tonight remember!" with that his mood improved, "Go make some friends" she smiled and Harry ran off to the other children, he got upset watching his mother walking out of the door. Lily didn't have a moment to lose, she left the car where it was and apparated to the hospital. Before long she was changed into her healer training robes and making her way up to the third floor, her acceptance letter informed her that she would have to take part in an induction there. When she arrived she saw a lot of witches and wizards much younger than her, fresh from Hogwarts she thought, though she thought she would likely have an advantage over them. She waited patiently.

"Right students!" A rather authoritarian healer spoke, "Today we will be going over the basics of hospital policy, and meeting some of the more important members of the hospital management" Lily noticed that everyone was taking notes and decided to follow suit, though she felt she hadn't heard anything worthy of noting down just yet. "Firstly I would like to introduce you to Narcissa Malfoy, she is the on the Board of Governors for the hospital and a generous patron" At this Lily's ears pricked, looking up she saw her, tall, elegant and beautiful, her white-blonde hair held elegantly on her head, her skin white as alabaster and her lips painted blood red. Her dark robes looked luxurious, her grey eyes moved across the room and paused for just a moment as they met Lily. Anger bubbled in her belly as she remembered the incident during Harry's birthday a few years ago, Severus had told her Narcissa's words;

_'"_ _It is good that we have the boy! It will help us to bring back the Dark Lord, Karkaroff has an idea that the boy's death would bring our Lord back." Narcissa didn't even flinch at the idea of taking a child's life_

_"So you have no issue killing a child not much younger than your own Draco?" He looked at her, her face unsure for a moment_

_"This is war Severus" was all her reply'_

Narcissa nodded curtly at Lily before she began to speak. "Working at St Mungo's" she began in a lofty tone, "Is one of the highest honours in our great Wizarding World, There is nothing more precious than saving Wizarding lives and the Malfoy family stands firmly behind that point. We back St Mungo's as assuredly as my late husband Lucius backed Hogwarts, and in memory of him, we are financing the building of a new wing, specifically for the training of new Healers such as yourselves. I ask only that you consider how lucky and honoured you are to stand on the front lines in the war of protecting precious wizarding blood." She glanced over at Lily again her lips pursed. "I have raised issue with the board regarding various applicants at St Mungo's," Again she glanced at Lily, "And we have passed a decree that stipulates that certain standards must be met and it will, therefore, be far more difficult to gain entry as a full wizarding healer" her lips moved into a graceful smirk. "After all, we demand excellence!" she finished

"Thank you, Narcissa" The healer took over again, Narcissa taking a step back. "You will all be sent to a different part of the hospital, and we have tried to place you in preferred area's of study, there you will meet your supervisor who will be the one that will set your workload and teach you and give you practical assignments, The work is the same for everyone and your supervisor will be following a strict schedule in your learning, and falling behind will not be tolerated." Lily couldn't help but think that this is what Severus would be like in his potions classes at Hogwarts, the woman was severe beyond anything she had known at Hogwarts, then she had always been a teachers favourite. "As Narcissa states we demand excellence, anything less than 'O' on your course works will result in dismissal from the programme" At this Narcissa seemed to glare at Lily again. "Your assigned areas are listed on the notice board behind me" with that the Healer was bustling around about the students.

"Lily Potter!" Narcissa walked towards her, hand extended, a sickly sweet smile in place, "Training to be a healer?" she mused, "I do hope the standards aren't too high for a Mudblood" looking pointedly at Lily, Lily reached out her hand to shake it.

"You want to watch your language Narcissa," she said cooly as they shook hands, Narcissa pulled the arm of Lily's robes up, revealing a scar on her forearm, the woman smirked.

"A present from my sister I believe?" and there on Lily's arm was a word cut into her skin, 'Mudblood'

"I am very proud of my blood status, thank you" she smiled, "I am sure that Bellatrix is as proud as she rots in Azkaban for her crimes!"

"You want to be careful Potter," she spat, "I have a great deal of control here, watch your step or I can make life just as difficult for you as Bella did, only I won't need a Cruciatus Curse or a Knife!" she whispered into her ear. "I made sure you got a nice interesting department to work in… Werewolf bites!" she smiled, it was deemed somewhat demeaning to work with Werewolves, considered an underclass by most in wizarding society.

"Oh thank you Narcissa, I had been planning research into Werewolf bites and this can only help" she smiled sweetly at the woman, Narcissa sneered and walked off.

The remainder of Lily's day was hectic. She spent most of the morning reading up on policy and procedure, having lunch she made friends with a few of the students, though they were a bit younger than herself. In the afternoon she spent time observing a healer tend to bite wounds and then was given research and an assignment to do on the treatment for fresh werewolf bites. She learnt that the department that she would be focusing in for the time being covered all manner of attacks from magical creatures. She had learnt so much more from watching than she had been able to from reading books, she thought she would find someone to practice skills on, the correct bandaging for various bites.

She was due to finish when she was called over by the supervisor she had been assigned to. "Lily" she called, "I think you did great work today, If you like, tomorrow, we can work on some of the potions for various bites!" Her name was Relda, she was a tall and slim witch, she had beautifully big afro hair, dark brown eyes and friendly smile, she was someone that you couldn't help but trust.

"That would be great!" Lily gushed, "I am actually doing research on werewolf bites, so it will be really useful" she smiled.

"Really?" She smiled, "It's a shame, no one really goes into werewolf research" her eyes showing sadness for a moment, "They think mainly of the culprits, not the victims!"

"Yea, too much prejudice" she smiled, "thanks for a great day... see you tomorrow" Relda smiled and waved, with that she apparated back the house, she wanted to share her excitement over the day with Severus.

* * *

She arrived at the house Severus was already home the students had gone home for Easter earlier that day and so he had been free to come home. He looked up after hearing the faint pop of apperation, her face was bright and she wore a huge smile. She still wore her lime green healer robes. Severus was playing with Harry, he had picked Harry up as promised. They were putting some of Harry's puzzles together. Harry looked up and saw his Mum too, he broke into a huge grin!

"MUMMY!" he ran up to her, his puzzle forgotten, Lily leant down picking Harry up and holding him close. "I missed you Mummy!" he said cuddling.

"My little Harry-bear!" she gushed kissing his face, "I missed you too!"

"Nape said you been making people better at the hospital?" He asked,

"Well I have been learning about making people better," she said, "In fact today I helped a man who had been bitten by an animal!" she said, Harry's eyes widened with wonder.

"Wow Mummy, your mazing!" he said. "How you make it better?"

"Well Harry I had to learn how to put a special bandage where he was hurt, wrap it just right so that it would heal nicely!" she smiled,

"Will you show me!" his eyes excited.

"Of course!" She smiled, "Let's go get some bandages, maybe you can have a go too?"

"Yes please!" Lily walked into her kitchen and pulled out the large first aid kit and removed a bunch of regular bandages.

"So who needs the bandage?" she asked, Harry, bounced up and down thinking.

"Erm… Me first! Me first!" He blurted out as he continued to jump about.

"Come on, your going to need to sit at the table!"

"No! If I was really bitten by a huge anmal, I would be in a bed all poorly, so I have to lay down or it's not proper!" he said seriously and with that, he ran to the couch and threw himself down dramatically. Lily laughed.

"Oh dear… What animal has made this huge bite your arm young man?" she played along.

"It was an anormas pole bear," he said weakly, his eyes half shut. Severus was still sat on the floor watching.

"Oh no, not a polar bear!" she feigned worry, "That means we need to put special cream on cause they have nasty polar bear teeth!" she got some regular hand cream and rubbed it into his arm.

"OW!" Harry shouted, "I been bit by a pole bean, you gotta be super gentle!" he shook his head and then lay it down again, his eyes were half shut again and he had a pretend look of pain on his face.

"Oh, I am so sorry young man! You're so brave for not getting upset and crying with such a big nasty bite!" she played along.

"It's cause I'm not a baby no more!" he added seriously. "You need to put the bandage on now so I know how!" he ordered.

"Yes Sir!" she complied taking out the bandage and wrapping it complicatedly round the place she had decided his bite resided. Harry watched interestedly.

"That looks complicated!" Harry said, "Anyway, my turn now, Mummy can help me and Nape can be bitten… What should he be bitten by?"

"Do I not get to decide?" Severus asked mockingly

"Ok, I think it's only fair considering whatever biteed you got both arms and your face!" Harry added seriously.

"Both my arms and my face!" mock shock all over his face, "I think I might just collapse where I am and not be able to tell you!" with that he slid half-heartedly of his chair and lay on the floor, Harry giggled!

"QUICK!" he shouted, "looks like a snake bite Mummy!" he got up and ran over to Severus and took a bandage from his Mum, "I think maybe you should do the head… you're the fessional! And I can copy the one on my arm"

"Do we need to put a bit of special cream on snake bites?" she asked.

"NO!" Harry shouted, "Silly, gotta clean the poison away!" with that Lily left Harry to tend to Severus on the floor. When Lily returned her some damp flannels and was followed by Sirius who must have floo'd in.

"Whats going on here!" He asked nudging Severus with his foot.

"Nape got bit by a dangerous snake!" Harry spoke seriously

"Oh dear, is he dead?" he asked somewhat callously.

"NO!" Harry shouted, "Me and Mummy are saving him, you need to clean that bite!" Harry pointed to Severus other arm and grabbed a flannel to tend to the one he was looking after. "NO! Sirius, you gotta be careful, it hurts being bitten by a snake, gentle to get rid of the poison!" Harry gently dabbed the arm, Severus struggled not to laugh lay on the floor, Sirius gently cleaning his other arm.

"Right Harry, no more poison here, what next?" Sirius asked.

"Now Sirius we have to wrap it with a bandage right Harry?" Lily asked

"Yes! and Mum you gotta get a move on cause bite to the head is very serious!" with that Harry took the bandage and unravelled it, "Siri, you gotta watch me and do it right otherwise Nape will get sick and die and we love Nape! He's not allowed to get sick!" he looked and directly at the man, it could have been real and Sirius smiled.

"Ok Harry, show me how it's done!" he watched as Harry did a complicated and completely different job of wrapping Severus' arm than his Mother had done to him, it was lumpy and bumpy and he tied it up and smiled with pride!

"Brilliant, I think I can do that" Sirius then started to wrap Severus' arm rather haphazardly whilst Lily managed to complicatedly wrap a bandage around Severus' head covering one eye. "I think that's sorted, but how do we wake him up, Harry?"

"Medicine!" Harry looked at his mum, "What can we have as medicine?"

"Erm, how about some nice orange juice?" Lily suggested

"No, Sorry Mummy, but medicine is yucky, it can't taste good!" With that Severus groaned where he lay.

"Nape!" Harry exclaimed, "You are sick and dying… no noises!"

"I can pretend it tastes bad!" he whispered hopefully

"Nope! Gotta have proper real yucky medicine!" Harry then ran to the fridge to look about and came back with a bottle of mustard. "It's really yucky, but he only needs a really ickle bit Mummy!" he handed his Mum the bottle to which Lily put a blob on her finger.

"Ok, Sevvy! Time for medicine!" she laughed and popped her finger in his mouth and Severus made a face.

"Mustard! Yuck!" He then sat up and admired their handiwork. "Well, thank you for saving my from three deadly snake bites Harry!" he reached out and hugged the little boy, "Hows the polar bear bite?"

"Oh its all better now!" He smiled.

Sirius spent the rest of the evening with Harry, the game was so much fun that they took turns being bitten and wrapping each other up over and over again, Harry seemed to like wrapping Sirius' face up the most. Lily and Severus in the kitchen preparing tea, talked about her day.

"The learning bit was great, but we had this induction and got a lovely speech from one of the governors of the Hospital… Narcissa!" she grimaced. "I hate that woman!"

"She is cold and calculating, but she does have a heart deep down in that chest of hers... somewhere!"

"She basically told me that she thought I wasn't up to the task of working at St Mungos because of my parentage!" she grimaced and she held her arm where she knew the scar was, though it hadn't hurt her in a long time.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say, I hate that it's like that!" his eyes looked sad, he noticed her holding her arm. "Did she hurt you?" he looked concerned.

"No, She just highlighted something from the past, something that Bellatrix did and expressed her… delight!" she sneered, then she lifted up her arm and pulled back the robes, she had never shown him before, the word was significant to them, it was a sore subject and it's what had torn them apart in the first place, she was frightened of his reaction, but she knew it couldn't stay hidden forever. He saw the word that was engraved into her flesh, all manner of emotions were shown on his face, hard cold anger, sadness, and hurt. He lifted her arm as if to look closer, then looked into her eyes.

"I'm so so sorry" tears stood on the edge, they could have fallen at any moment. "I hate that I ever used that word" and gently he leant down and tenderly kissed the scars on her arm. A single tear fell from Lily's eyes, relieved at his reaction, hated seeing him hurt, but relieved that nothing from the man's former life seemed to shine through, she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly.

"It's ok… It's all forgiven, all forgotten!" he held her for a while, preparations for tea forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, please kudos, and if you can, leave a comment to help me improve!


	11. Barbaric

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you ok?" he asked
> 
> "Yup. I'm Fine." Her voice stiff and a forced smile.
> 
> "No your not"
> 
> "Then why ask?" She replied, the forced smile no longer present
> 
> "Maybe what I meant was, what's bothering you?" He had a suspicion that he was to blame for the foul mood that she was in, but couldn't for the life of him figure out what he had done. "Or even… what did I do?"
> 
> "You. Have done… nothing" she said rather pointedly. Severus was more and more confused. By the tone, maybe 'nothing' was a clue?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos, next chapter here we go

Chapter 11 - Barbaric

The following weekend arrived, Severus now would have dearly loved to spend the last two days of his break from Hogwarts with just Lily and Harry, but it was the weekend that Neville would be here. He forced himself to think of the help that Alice had given him, the help she had given to Lily, before they had managed to act on long held feelings. He knew it was the right thing to do. Though he really resented that fact now. Secretly he thought that all the research he and Lily had done on their condition should be payment enough, that had been pretty much all they had done for his entire easter break.

"Sev," Lily called, "I need to move the bed from your study up to Harry's room for Neville. Can you help?"

"Why don't you just… Magic it up there?" He asked, he was slowly becoming irritated by just how much 'muggling' they were doing. She looked at him, tilting her head to the side.

"You're the one that said we needed to go 'full muggle'" She responded

"That's was before there was a bed to move" He replied, "Can we at least use a feather weight charm?" He pleaded

"Fine… Come on!" She followed him to the little cupboard under the stairs, and still it opened up the dank dark lab where he brewed, slept and kept all his books and clothes. Lily looked around a little displeased, "It's a bit cramped down here!"

"I think considering it was a cupboard its fine. It fits everything I need in it" He shrugged and performed a weightless charm on the bed, it was a small single bed, as it needed to fit in the small space Severus made for himself when he first moved in. They picked it up and began to walk with it out of the room. "Can you widen the door or something so we can fit through?"

"Sure" a quick wave of her wand and the door widened and they passed through easily. and carried it upstairs to Harry's room, once placed in their neatly, he pursed his lips, and finally spoke the obvious.

"You realise we used magic anyway… we may as well have just magic'd it up" He pursed his lips at her.

"Oh don't be such a smart arse!" she joked, "Anyway i'll make the bed fresh, just check there isn't anything else we need to do, and make sure your room is locked… last thing we need is them playing with your ingredients!"

"Sure, i'll grab some blankets and pillows first" He replied rooting in a cupboard on the stairs.

"Why do you need blankets and pillows?" She asked confused.

"I would like to be warm when sleeping on the couch!" He looked at her rather bemused

"Why would you sleep on the couch?"

"Because I don't think Neville wants to top and tale!" Lily rolled her eyes.

"You're not sleeping on the couch Sev" She grabbed some fresh bedding covers and closed the cupboard. Severus stood there confused. "You can sleep with me you idiot!" she blurted out, suddenly Severus was fairly happy that Neville was coming to stay.

'Not that anything would happen' he told himself, he had been taking things decidedly slow. He knew that Harry noticing Severus sleeping in his Mums room was a big deal, he thought that sleeping with Severus would be a huge step for Lily. It wasn't like she divorced James or that there was a falling out, she _still_ loved James, always would, this would be a big step, considering that. "You're ok with that?" he asked tentatively

"Yes Severus!" she said, with a note of exasperation, and Severus was unsure what it was about, he wondered if he was supposed to go to Hogwarts, or if she was just nervous about the impending sleep over so Severus ignored the tension and went downstairs on orders to make the cupboard under the stairs secure.

Before long Neville was round and Severus was again wishing that they had not agreed to this favour. They found that when Neville and Harry were together they were not twice as loud, but by some mathematical inconsistency, they were in fact five times as loud than when alone. Lily and Severus were simply run of their feet, they had even invited Sirius, who was great at play time, however even he had the good sense to decline. On more than one occasion Severus had to go 'Full Professor Snape', as Lily called it, on the children. This had a particular effect on Neville who remained fairly well behaved after the first occasion. By the time they had a huge disagreement about lunch and were heading into the afternoon, Lily had given up and put on the TV, Neville having never seen one before was glued and with Harry's favourite programmes on, they had a more peaceful afternoon.

Severus and Lily had split the evening routine, Lily completed bath time, until trouble ensued and 'Professor Snape' being present was necessary to get the job done.

"Neville, Harry, bath now!" He spoke sternly

"But we wanna play some more! PEEEEEAASE!" Harry whined.

"Harry, if you cannot behave with friends round… they will not be able to come again!" He folded his arms and looked down at the little boy.

"But can't we do it later and play more now, pease, pease, pease!" He whined.

"Harry!" His voice lowered and his face stern, "If you don't get in the bath I will smack that hand of yours, regardless of your friend being here" he paused, "Now are you going to get changed, or do I have to help?" Harry's face fell and the bottom lip dropped dramatically as little tears welled up in the huge green eyes.

"I can do it" He sulked.

Severus watched the entire of bath time from the door. Before long they we washed and in bed and arguing profusely over who would be in which bed, which story was the best and which one they would have. Could they have one each. Severus picked up Neville and placed him in the bed they had moved up to Harry's room, and placed Harry in his own bed. Severus sat and read a story of his choosing, which did not settle them to sleep as Neville was not a fan of Babbitty Rabbity, Severus then read 'The Tale of the Three Brothers' and before the end of the story they were both fast asleep. Finally.

* * *

Later in the evening Severus and Lily had made their way up to bed, and Severus noted that Lily was again, irritated by something, and he had no idea what. Severus had brought his night ware up from his room, downstairs, and changed in the bathroom, when he arrived in the bedroom he found Lily still in her normal clothes, sat on the bed, her face irritated and her arms folded, she looked like she had gone 'Full Professor Snape' he thought to himself.

"Are you ok?" he asked

"Yup. I'm Fine." Her voice stiff and a forced smile.

"No your not"

"Then why ask?" She replied, the forced smile no longer present

"Maybe what I meant was, what's bothering you?" He had a suspicion that he was to blame for the foul mood that she was in, but couldn't for the life of him figure out what he had done. "Or even… what did I do?"

"You. Have done… _nothing_ " she said rather pointedly. Severus was more and more confused. By the tone, maybe 'nothing' was a clue?

"Well clearly I have done something, or maybe not done something I should have done? But unless your willing to talk… I don't know, like an adult… there isn't a damn thing I can do about it!" losing his patience he sat on the bed and picked up a book.

"Of course" She muttered under her breath, looking at her, he glared in her direction.

"Alright just spit it out!"

"I don't want to talk about it" She fumed.

"Fine, well, I'll go back to Hogwarts… you know where I am when you want to talk!" He began collecting his clothes up.

"That's fine, at least you have an excuse to be exactly where you want to be!" He looked at her incredulously

"Excuse me?"

"You heard" She fumed.

"And yet I'm confused… where the hell did you get that idea from!?"

"From you of course! You don't want to be here, you keep yourself at a distance all the time, you can't even stay in the same room as me, you cling to your little room downstairs… clearly the excitement has worn off!" She didn't shout but her voice was filled with anger and upset.

"This is about the bloody cupboard?" He asked

"NO!" Now she shouted. As the pieces slotted together, Severus almost laughed.

"It's about the bed… me expecting to sleep on the couch?" He asked

"Not just that… this entire week… all you wanted to do was look at your bloody research, Sev, it's like you lost all interest,"

"You said you wanted me to help you find something to help Alice and Frank… I can think of many things I would have rather been doing!" Somehow, he became angrier and angrier. "So a week of me doing something you asked me to do means I have lost interest in you? Honestly, I don't understand you. At all!"

"It is not just this week… Sev we have been together a while now… right? You don't even want to share a room with me, I'm not even talking about the serious lack of sex, you won't even sleep next to me!"

"Seriously?" He smirked.

"Don't mock me Severus!" Her voice was still filled with anger.

"I'm sorry Lily but your being _ridiculous_ ," He replied, his voice dangerous.

"DO NOT CALL ME RIDICULOUS!" She bellowed

" _YOU_ are not ridiculous… however you are _BEING_ ridiculous… just listen for one bloody second will you!" he began shouting, again.

"Fine!" She folded her arms, glaring.

"Firstly, I'm sleeping next to you tonight… If we can resolve this _stupid_ argument, and secondly when we got together I said I would follow _your_ lead, I have no idea if you're ok with Harry seeing me walking out of your bedroom first thing in the morning! And it isn't _my_ call when he see's that... It's YOURS!" he paused, watching her face, her expression unchanging, "As for 'the serious lack of sex'" he laughed, "I thought I was being a bloody gentleman!"

"It's been a little too long for it to simply be chivalry!" She pointed out

"Maybe… but it's complicated Lily!" He was still shouting, "You love James, you always will!" He paused, "So how about you think about what that is like for me! Don't get me wrong, I'm ok with it, I understand and went into this eyes wide open! But it makes things a little more complicated, I won't be the one to push certain things, I can not bare the idea of you to regretting… anything, I do not want to be James Potter's replacement!" He paused, "When it happens, I want to know that he isn't in the room, in anyway!" He paused taking a deep breath, the anger leaving his face, slowly.

"That bed isn't going back downstairs!" She added sternly

"I'm fairly happy about that" He shouted again. They sat in silence for a while. His anger faded a little and he kissed her rather awkwardly.

"And… You can stop being bloody chivalrous!" She interrupted him

"Maybe when you drop the mood" He eyed her, almost like he would one of his students answering him back. "And trust me, I want you… I always want you! Always!" He finished softly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Professor Snape!" She smiled at him, biting her lip

"Twenty points from Gryffindor!" He laughed gently, the anger now completely dissipated.

"Are you going to seduce me now?"

"I'm trying… but you keep bloody interrupting me!" he smiled, pulling her on to his lap, kissing her.

"Ok… I'll stop!" she interrupted again, giggling, he growled in her neck as he kissed her.

"Honestly… really not what I want… you can't giggle as I try and woo you!" Lily burst into hysterical laughter, Severus leaned back and looked at her with a smile on his face "Oh bloody hell woman!" He laughed arms still round her petite waist.

* * *

The following day had been somewhat calmer, but this was down to careful utilisation of TV and games. Neville seemed somewhat shy of Snape, but throughout the day they played a little and they seemed to warm a little to each other. Lily was also decidedly less irritable. It was early evening when Alice showed up. The floo went up and she appeared in the kitchen.

"Alice…? You're early?!" Lily asked.

"Well…" she smiled sadly "Thanks for the help… didn't really have the desired effect"

"I'll make a cup of tea, Sev can keep and eye on the kids for a bit" she moved over to the kettle and busied herself with preparing the cups. Alice sat at the table her eyes staring into the distance, unfocused, she looked bleak, hopeless. "What happened?"

Alice looked over at Lily and began shaking her head, "I'd really like to spend time with you one day without one of us crying!" she whispered. As the kettle boiled Lily poured hot water on the tea bags and added a bit of milk and sugar.

"Lily?" Severus popped his head into the kitchen.

"We're just gonna have a… girly chat?" Lily hinted, smiling

"Fine… I'll leave you to complain about me in peace!" He smirked as spoke.

"I've not even mentioned that yet!"

"'Yet' being the operative word" He replied, "No worries, you can gossip… I'll look after the children!" He joked walking out of the kitchen.

"Trouble in paradise?" Alice questioned, "It would make a nice change to you hearing me complain about Frank all the time!"

"We had our first argument… it wasn't that bad"

"Well it beats talking about my crumbling marriage, or your sizzling romance or how good Severus is with his hands!" She joked wrangling her eyebrows, Severus could be heard laughing.

"Clearly I'm not too chivalrous then!" Severus shouted from the other room

"GO AWAY!" Lily shouted, his laugh faded as his footsteps could be heard going up the stairs. "Apparently James is in the way in the erm… bedroom department!" She winced.

"I thought things were all good in that area… things seemed steamy?" Alice responded.

"Well… yea, but it never progressed further than …that" she held up her hands, indicating something, she paused "and when I shut up moaning, Severus said, he didn't want to be James' replacement, he didn't want me to regret anything, and ended with a healthy dose of 'I don't want James to be in the bedroom'…"

"I can imagine that it might be a difficult for Sev…"

"You realise you're supposed to be on my side right?"

"Sorry Lil" she paused, "What an absolute tool! He should ravage you regardless of the deep turmoil he's clearly in!" she joked, rolling her eyes.

"Well I have no idea what I can do to make him feel that its nothing to worry about… We slept in the same bed, we sort of worked things out" Lily finished.

"Let me guess… you had steamy make up sex?" She replied rolling her eyes again.

"No… Once the argument was over I couldn't stop giggling!" Lily suppressed yet another giggle. "Anyway… your romantic weekend… why was that a bust?"

"Well we talked, we rowed, vases were thrown… tea went stone cold and Frank slept in Neville's room…" She looked bored. "I find i'm starting I care less and less if i'm honest Lily, He's taken to drinking whilst looking at the landscape now… He's not a drunk… but it looks like becoming a drunk is his one ambition in life"

"We just need to figure out how to get him a bit of his magic back… its seems to be the source of his problem"

"Don't be daft Lily, If he can't be an auror again what's the point. He's a proud man and nothing can replace the glittering and exciting carer, not even his wife and child"

"Will hope not help? If there was something that might give him hope he could get a good portion of his magic back, would that not help pull him out of his mood?"

"It would have to be something he can see, something real, even the floo thing fizzled out quickly, the hope faded too quick" Lily listened thoughts on her and Severus' research.

"Nothing positive come from the yelling?" Lily dug for a scrap of hope in the mess

"Not really, I guess the fact that he yells means he care? right?"

"yea… did you bring up St Mungos?"

"Oh yes! That went down like a lead balloon, in fact that's when he threw the vase at the wall" She smiled sardonically

"I guess it's just a case of keep on trying?"

"Yep" she sighed, "Anyway, I think you and Sev have earned make up sex, I'll grab Neville and head off" she smiled

"If you want to stay a while, stay" Lily offered

"No, honestly, maybe leaving him with Neville for half an hour whilst I cook his favourite tea will make Frank bearable for a few hours" she smiled before heading upstairs to get Neville. Severus followed Alice down stairs and they said good bye. Her face forlorn as the flames consumed her and Neville, taking her back to her own house.

"How was it?" Severus asked

"He threw a vase" she said nonchalantly

"At her?" His face horrified

"I get the impression it was just thrown out of frustration and not at her, but she mentioned his one ambition in life is to become a drunk" shaking her head "They were so strong, they always had each others back, I don't get how that can change so quickly, I don't understand it"

"Maybe we try again, another weekend?" he offered

"Thanks, I'll tell Alice" she smiled sadly

* * *

Severus was getting ready to go back to Hogwarts when he felt heat spread from the notebook in his breast pocket. Of course it was the diary. He was pretty sure that it would be Remus. He hadn't heard from him in a week, and he was the only one out in the world at the moment, Sirius was still at Hogwarts, ready to complete his final term of teaching. Lily and Severus were at home with Harry and he was due to go back to Hogwarts for breakfast this morning. Remus however had been doing some recon in various werewolf colonies throughout Europe. He hurriedly packed the rest of what he needed and then took a moment to open the notebook, it was indeed Remus;

_Severus,_

_I'm sorry it has been so long, I really wanted to be able to get something useful, which I think that I have. I have been part of a colony in Albania for sometime. It has taken time to earn their trust, but I think I have some valuable intelligence on the whereabouts of 'You Know Who' and a hint at why he wasn't destroyed, Fenrir Greyback is part of the colony, he brags about being a rare trusted Werewolf within the Death Eater ranks. If you can arrange an order meeting at Hogwarts with Dumbledore, I should be there within the week. We need to arrange some time before hand for you to confirm or deny some of the things that Fenrir has said. Also did you and Sirius manage to find Peter?_

_I'll see you all soon_

_Kind Regard_

_Remus._

Severus read the note, guilt rose up in his chest as he realised it was nearly the end of the school year and no progress had been made on the Peter problem, this mixed with anxiety as he knew Fenrir had been connected to Death Eaters, though due to being a 'half breed' was not granted the honour if taking the mark. Fenrir, he may know some of the more sinister details of his Death Eater life, details that had never been asked for by Lily, Remus and Sirius; they only knew the broad strokes and fear rose that hearing the specifics would crumble the life that he had been building, a life he cherished. Taking a quill and ink he responded to Remus.

_Remus,_

_It's so good to hear from you, I am relieved that you will back soon. Albania does seem like a likely location, I believe he spent time there before his rise to power, Dumbledore has been doing research on Tom Riddles life, this is the name Voldemort was born with. Fenrir was often more trusted than most werewolves, though he was never granted the… 'honour' of bearing the dark mark. However his intelligence could be correct, he could also be fabricating, we shall have to see. I regret we have not found Peter… this is likely due to Sirius and myself being unable to work together. I'm sorry for the delay, I will bring it up with Sirius again._

_see you soon_

_Severus_

_p.s I will message you when I have arranged the meeting_

With that Severus knew he had to make it back to the school and convince Sirius to work with him, before it was too late. He headed downstairs his suitcase in hand wearing his usual dark suit, his robes not on yet, but simply folded over one arm. There at the dinning room table sat Lily and little Harry.

"NAAAPE! I'm going school today, and I'm gonna see my friend Dean and we are gonna play… we dress up and play at being pirates!" Harry was bouncing excitedly on his seat.

"Sounds wonderful" Severus wandered over to the table and kissed Harry on the head, "I shall see you later this week?" He smiled down at the little boy.

"Yes pease! I want to tell you all about school and my friend Dean!" He grinned looking up at Severus chocolate from his toast round his mouth.

"You mucky pup!" he shook his head, Harry giggled a little. "I will see you soon, and next week there is going to be an order meeting at Hogwarts, Remus is on his way back, when I speak to Dumbledore I can let you know when, see what works?"

"Sounds good to me, I'm glad he's on his way back!" She smiled at him, "I'll see you in the week?" She said hopefully.

"Of course" he kissed her tenderly, she smiled against his lips, Harry making yucky noises in the background. With that Severus donned his billowing robes and his favourite scowl and was off through the floo.

* * *

Severus arrived at the school just before breakfast, leaving his suitcase in the drawer of his classroom desk, he moved swiftly to the Great Hall. Sirius was already there and sitting with none other than Professor Quirrell. They were deep in conversation and so Severus found himself in his usual spot, his scowl in place as he took a little breakfast before his first lesson. He removed the notebook from his inside pocket and directed a message towards Sirius.

' _We need to put old matters aside and find Peter… meet me before lessons?'_

He continued to eat before the book warmed in his pocket. He took it out and there was Sirius' response;

_Are you ready to give me the map? - Sirius_

_Yes, I think it's about time we forgot about our disagreement and think about Harry's safety? Can you do that? - Severus_

_Of course I can! When are we doing this? - Sirius_

_Not a moment to loose I'd say, as soon as lessons end for lunch? Meet at my office and we will use the map to locate him - Severus_

_Great i'll bring food. - Sirius_

Severus focused on his breakfast and listened to the conversation around the table. He was sat close enough to hear a rather troubling conversation between Quirrell and Sirius. Dumbledore had spoken to Sirius about the concerns that Severus had. Dumbledore had told Severus himself, the friendship between Quirrell and Sirius had definitely evolved, however it seemed that Sirius clearly didn't really consider his concerns to be all that viable.

"Well see we have Remus out doing some research on where 'You Know Who' could be hiding. Figured that finding him was the best first step… you know. Professor Dumbledore is looking into how he survived, how to get rid of him… I imagine that we can sort this out before he rises again!" Sirius spoke casually but in slightly hushed tones, just not enough to keep the conversation between him and Quirrell.

"Well I have been doing some research on how he might be surviving… you know he would need to possess someone or an animal maybe, all evidence points to his body being destroyed… but not his soul, meaning the soul needs a vessel!" Quirrell spoke knowledgeably. "Clearly all we need is a spell that will destroy the soul… though this is very dark magic, I do not think that anyone that would know one would be willing to kill 'You Know Who'" He finished somewhat authoritatively.

"Well we have people working on it… we have quite a few different people working with" he paused and lowered his voice, "The Order!" he whispered, "We are still active, and still dedicated to taking him down" He continued in what he clearly considered to be a secretive manner, though Severus heard it all.

"Hmmm yes, the order, has the order ever had a spy… that might be useful, a way to get the information" There was a cruel gleam in his eye, a desire for glory, the thirst had been growing all year and all Severus could think was that Sirius had fed it, not starved it like he and Dumbledore had initially asked. Irritated by the conversation, he left for his blessed dungeons.

* * *

Later that day Sirius met Severus in his office, bringing lunch. They sat together and Severus handed over the map without reservation. Sirius busied himself setting out food he had got from the kitchens.

"I just ask that we do this together?" Severus stated as he left the map on the table.

"Of course" Sirius replied easily, "I think we can put all this to one side for Harry, for good I think?" He held out a hand.

"I would like that" Severus' voice was stiff, but he held out his hand also, shaking hands, "We have both been a little childish, I admit, but Harry must _always_ come first"

"Agreed," he opened up the map and placed his wand in the centre, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good" He said and winked at Severus.

"I should have bloody well known!" He replied a little infuriated with himself, they sat at desk trying to find Peter. "This is no good, pin it to the wall and we can see the whole things opened up" They pinned it on the wall behind Severus' desk and eating pumpkin pasties and drinking Butterbeer, they looked for Peter's name.

"THERE!" Sirius shouted, Severus was a little annoyed that it took all of five minutes to locate the rat, he was hiding out in the Gryffindor common room, they barraged themselves for not getting their act together sooner as they made their way to the tower, map now safely stored in Severus' pocket. Sirius gained entry having already asked Dumbledore for any passwords that they might need.

"Do not let anyone out until we have exited" Severus advised the fat lady, "I will knock three times, not until then should you allow any to enter or exit, even if they have the password… is that understood?"

"And why should I do that?" She replied haughtily

"Because I am a professor and I am used to being obeyed!" he spat at the portrait, the lady looked disgruntled but shut after he entered, Severus tried to exit, testing the portrait's loyalties and indeed, she did not budge. The students looked upon the Potions Master with fearful eyes and at the rather fun Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher with confusion.

"OK, Professor Snape, please get the map and pull up Gryffindor Tower" Sirius spoke calmly.

"Done, I can see the name on here, he seems to be in that direction" He pointed towards the boys dormitories.

"Boys dorms, great…" He held the want to his throat "Sonorus, Right all boys to the common room now please… All boys to the common room! Thank you!" his voice was magically louder and echoed off the walls, a few boys trickled down but most simply ignored the very polite request from Professor Black. "Quietus" and his voice went back to its usual volume. Severus rolled his eyes.

"Sonorus, 10 points from Gryffindor for every male house member that is not in the common room within two minutes! Quietus" He ended the charm and multitudes of boys ran down from the dorms and were sat in the common room, they moved quickly, "And _that_ is how it is done!" He smiled at Sirius who shook his head smiling.

"OK! I need anyone who has a pet rat to go and get it for me, I will allow Professor Snape to deduct points for anything he see's fit if you don't move sharpish, for example he may want to take 20 points from Mr Charlie Weasley for not having his tie done properly…" With that a few boys ran off to their dorms. "See I can make them move too" Sirius smiled.

"Using my name and reputation! Yay Professor Black!" He denoted sarcastically

"Aww that's the first time you called me Professor!" He smiled sweetly, whilst Severus scowled. "Though I have to say working with you is far quicker than working alone!" before long there where three boys with rats. The map in Severus' hand showed the name Peter Pettigrew right by where Professor Black and Professor Snape's names were also shown.

"So Professor, I know from the map that one of these is the offending rat… can you tell which"

"Mr Weasley, Bill is it?" He asked a ginger boy.

"Yes sir?" He asked nervously

"How long have you had that rat?"

"Nearly 2 years I guess" Bill replied. The rat was squirming in Bill's hand.

"Mr Weasley, I am afraid we will be confiscating your rat" Severus spoke sternly and gave no reason, Bill's face dropped.

"But professor, I haven't done anything! and Scabbers did nothing! Why? It's not fair, teachers can't just take pets!" He shouted.

"I know, however, your rat is a criminal" Severus made for the door. Bill looked shocked and upset.

"Professor Snape, I think Mr Weasley deserves an explanation. Pass me the map" Severus rolled his eyes at the professor, Severus handed the map to Bill.

"See here, this is the Gryffindor Common Room yes? Right and here is your name, my name, and Professor Blacks name yes? and with Professor Black is another name, Peter Pettigrew!" He looked at Bill, "Your rat is not a pet, it is an illegal Animagus that killed 12 Muggles, framed Professor Black for his murder and gave information to You Know Who which enabled him to attack The Potters" and in that moment Sirius pointed his wand at Peter, Bill Weasley had a look crossed between bewilderment and confusion, the rat bit down hard on young Bills hand and ran through out the common room, however on this occasion Sirius was faster casting the spell that forced him to resume his human form.

"My apologies Bill, we will of course ensure that your pet is replaced" He spoke casually. Wordlessly Severus bound Peter and gagged him.

"Done, I believe we can end this charade of you being a professor now?" He directed Peter using his wand and knocked three time on the portrait hole, and before long they handed Peter over to Ministry and he was transferred to Azkaban.

* * *

It wasn't long until Remus was back, walking through Hogsmeade and making his way towards Hogwarts. He had a meeting with Severus before lunch and an Order meeting in the evening. He walked weary from his travel from Hogsmeade village down the village road to the castle. To huge winged boars flanked the gates to Hogwarts and he strolled through them remembering fondly his school days filled with mischief, wondering when he would be so carefree again. It wasn't long before he found himself making the trip to the dungeons. He knocked waiting for an answer, he knew that Severus would be waiting.

"Come in" He heard the stern voice, clearly incase there was an unsuspecting student.

"Sev" He smiled, "How have things been?"

"Well, we caught Peter and is currently in Azkaban awaiting trial" He sighed, "You probably want to have a go when you hear why it took so long" He looked guiltily

"Go on"

"Sirius refused to give me the password and wanted control of the map… I refused to hand it over because he set stink bombs off in my office, that was at the end of September…" He trailed off.

"You have got to be kidding me!" his face furious, "You realise that Peter being free was a direct risk to Harry right?"

"Yes" the guilt on his face intensified

"I take it you guessed the password?" Remus looked disappointed, but his tone was no longer stern.

"No, I approached Sirius and said I could put things behind me if he would, time got away from us, I don't think either of us thought about how childish we were being, but we agreed to put issues behind us … for good" He smiled slightly

"It's sorted at least, thats what matters." he paused, "Anyway, Fenrir?"

"Yes, he worked for the Dark Lord, but as he is a purist, the Dark Lord I mean, he refused to grant Fenrir the 'privilege' of being a Death Eater, which means he can have some accurate information, but he wouldn't have attended any of the meetings, he would have been given specific orders, he could have learnt things from certain Death Eaters, but mostly they saw him more as a tool for destruction, not equal, not human… I apologise Remus, I know that isn't …"

"Stop, Severus, Its a difficult topic, Fenrir however isn't human, he purposefully transforms around humans, even children, ensuring they are ... infected, he has even started attacking in his human form, he becomes more and more animal each time I see him." Severus relaxed at his friends words.

"Anyway, what was his intelligence?"

"Well apparently he is in Albania, I went to the forest mentioned and deep in the forrest there is a whole area that is abandoned by creatures, there is a rumour of a dark force that takes the bodies of animals and humans alike, I feel confident, and many of the other werewolves feel confident that this is Voldemort." He paused, "The other is that there were a series of objects that he put in the protection of various Death Eaters, he said a book had been left in the care of Lucius Malfoy? He said he managed to hear of something left in the lestrange vault as well. He knows nothing about them except that those watching them must guard them with their life if needed." Severus mused and pulled out his notebook and folded inside was the list he had taken from Dumbledore.

"Curious" He mused, his eyes ran down the list and with a quill he made a mark against one of the list. "I wonder if that could be the most valuable bit of intelligence!" he smiled. "Remus, you can use my quarters for rest before the meeting, everyone will be arriving around six thirty, I am going to the Library, I may have an idea" With that Severus left Remus, who made himself a cup of tea and made his way to Severus bed, drinking the tea slowly on the bed, he crawled under the covers and let sleep take him, it had been the first time his head was on a pillow in months.

* * *

Everyone was gathered in Albus' office, they all sat round the edges of his room waiting for one of their number to show. Lily was still in her St Mungo's healer robes, she sat with Alice, Frank was sat on the other side of the room. Remus sat on Alice's other side and they chatted about his travels, Neville and how Alice had been coping with the changes to her life, Alice smiled and looked carefree for a change.

"How did you manage to stay under cover, surly Fenrir knows that you are no fan?" She asked after he had finished his tale of joining the pack

"There is one thing about Fenrir that fails him. He assumes that all would want to be part of what he is a part of, he assumes that all take glory in their monthly transformation, I can lie easily to him and he would never question me, because he would never suspect anything else. It took a while to earn enough trust to get a chat with him, but once you got there he loved to brag, it was hard to get there, but getting information out of him was quiet easy" He smiled.

"Have you seen Severus Lily? He told me he was going to the Library and haven't seen him since" Remus questioned

"No, He said he would meet me here" Just then they heard the sound of the staircase moving upwards, "I'll get it" she smiled opening the door, and there stood Severus with a pile of books under one arm.

"Good evening, I assume Lupin has filled you in on his intelligence?" He asked, taking a seat by Lily.

"Yes, though I don't know how useful it is to know he is in Albania" Kingsley replied, "I mean unless we know how to destroy him?"

"Yes" Albus spoke, "I feel it is comforting being sure he is far from here though" He smiled, eyes twinkling, "Remus said that you seemed to have a brainwave about these objects?"

"Yes, that is where I have been, I do not feel confident enough to say this is how he is alive, however the list we have been working on Albus, one option is Horcruxes? I have been to gather information on these, but I think we would need to do some more research on Tom, see if we can decipher if this was something that he had learnt about, or something he had considered doing?"

"I have been trying to get into contact with those that would have known Riddle when he was younger, before he openly declared himself as Voldemort, I will press the matter with a few of his older teachers, see if I can anything else, maybe I can get information on where he went straight from Hogwarts."

"If this is a potential lead, can't Severus in the capacity of being the spy see if he can get his hands on a this book? If Lucius had it, maybe Narcissa would be willing to hand it over, then it can be inspected?" It was Moody that spoke now.

"I am going to research Horcruxes and come up with a story before approaching Igor Karkarof, he has taken control of Malfoy's estate under the guise of helping Narcissa, she was never a Death Eater and they want to keep the Malfoy funds in the control of those who support the Dark Lord." Severus responded

"What do we know so far about Horcruxes?" Lily asked, "I have never heard of this spell before"

"It isn't a spell, it's the worst kind of Dark Magic I have heard of" Severus voice lowered, "When one commits murder, it damages your soul… more than that it splits it," He paused, his face paling, "A Horcrux is created after committing murder, you take the torn part of your soul and through what I will only describe as a dark and horrifying ritual, you place part of your soul within an object, keeping it safe," He stopped "Then even if your body is destroyed, part of your soul is safe, tying you this this world"5476

"But… that's horrific… Barbaric- I- I don't understand?!" she whispered, his face disgusted and confused, it seemed to be an opinion that was shared by the entire room.

"No one is known to have created one before, and it seems as though if this _is_ the path that the Dark Lord took, he has made at least two. He is inhuman, and I would not be surprised if he would push even this to it's limit…. though I do not know what this is." The room was silent, no one dared to speak for sometime.

"The books Severus?" Albus asked

"Everything I could find on them in the Library, for research, also, I do not think this is the kind of material we need available to any student" his voice was low and the mood was sombre, no one seemed to have recovered from the mere idea of a Horcrux, never mind multiples.

"Indeed" Albs spoke, also sombre, "I can do the research Severus, and if you can think of a way to get the book, we can examine it together when you are able to get your hands on it."

"Thank you, it is not pleasant reading" He finished, the group sat soberly for sometime before people started to make excuses to leave.

* * *

It was finally the summer holidays and for once they were all back in the house. Sirius and Severus having caught Peter and chosen to put their differences aside, were getting along more than ever. Harry was still attending his nursery and loving it. He had made friends with a young muggle called Dean Thomas. All that anyone ever heard about was 'dean said this' and 'dean said that' It seemed that it would be all that they heard over the entire summer. Severus even asked Sirius to look in on his research for Remus' next adapted potion.

"See, I have completed tests on the saliva that Remus has donated, and last month when he was in wolf form, under regular wolfsbane, I took some blood samples, I have been using the potion variants on said samples to see how they react" He gestured to Sirius to look through the microscope on his desk.

"What is it?" Sirius asked.

"It is a device that Muggle scientist use, its enables me to see how the saliva and the blood, both which carry the Lycanthropy, reacts to the various ingredients and potion adaptations that I have come up with… see this is a blood sample" Sirius looked through the microscope. "And here I add the initial potion adaptation" he added a few drops to the sample, "And I am sure you can see the changes"

"Bloody hell, that's happening inside Remus when he changes?"

"Indeed… Now here is my current idea" He placed a new blood sample under the microscope and added a few drops of the potion, "You note there is still a change, but everything is slower… almost relaxed?"

"Yea… does that mean his transformation will be easier?"

"I hope so, the aim at the moment is to take away his pain in transforming and enable him to keep his mind and from there we take his notes and adapt the potion to try and remove the varying symptoms within the potion, the aim being Remus eventually having a wolf free month" He mused, "Though that is very far off"

"I think I can allow you to use this potion on Remus, but I must be in the room with him each time he takes it, I can transform and be with him should anything go wrong, if it doesn't go wrong… I want to stay anyway and simply observe him, keep him company" Sirius though making the effort, wanted to assert a little control over the situation, mainly cause Remus was the last of his friends left, he felt protective of him, like loosing Remus would be his last straw.

"That would be most useful actually, I would have thought you wouldn't want to aide this little experiment, especially after my previous errors! Would you write up anything you notice whilst accompanying Remus? He cannot see how he looks when he transforms, it would be very useful?"

"Definitely" Sirius seemed almost happy now, he held out a hand to Severus, shaking it they had made much progress since catching Peter. "Anyway, I have to go collect Harry… I wonder what that woman at the nursery thinks, always a different man picking up the poor kid!" Sirius chuckled.

"Lily just says an uncle is picking him up, and if I go… I have to polyjuice… as …Lily!" He shuddered.

"Seriously?!" a cruel smile creeped over Sirius' face.

"Yes… It's quite undignified!" Severus didn't look amused. "I will be taking some of your hairs to prevent this in the future by the way!"

"What do you do about the voice?" Sirius asked

"There are other potions I can use for that… mostly I try not to talk though…. Harry finds it far too amusing!" He scowled.

"I gotta see that one day!" Sirius left laughing.

"You won't… I promise"

* * *

Harry arrived back, he was in quite the forlorn mood. He barely ate any tea and sat in the corner of the couch playing with a story book, though not looking at it, nor paying much attention to it at all. He had been quite all afternoon, it was noted by everyone in the house, and when Lily came home Harry ran over to her.

"What's up little Harry bear" Lily asked

"Nothing… I just needed a cuddle!" He whimpered.

"Why do we need a cuddle so much today?" she asked tenderly, he looked at her with a face full of uncertainty and then the bottom lip came out. "You can tell mummy anything!" she whispered. His great green eyes seemed to grow bigger and bigger and all of a sudden huge tears spilled over and he began to cry and through his tears why finally heard what had been weighing him down.

"Why don't I have a daddy like all the other children!" and with that he broke into even more uncontrollable tears. Lily and the others were shocked, she simply held him as he sobbed into her chest.

"Oh Harry!" she whispered, soothing him, gently rubbing the little boys back she spoke into his ear, soothing words of how loved he was. It took a while for Harry to settle, and Remus, Sirius and Severus sat waiting and watching, wondering how to explain to this little boy that his father died protecting him. As Harry's cries started to settle a little, Lily spoke again, "What brought this on?"

"It was Fathers day and Dean… He was telling me he has a new daddy now, and he was asking about my daddy and I didn't want to say that I didn't have one!" His cries started to get louder and louder again, she tried to soothe him again, but he seemed inconsolable. Then through his sobbing he struggled to breath, he finally managed to speak, "I made a card for a daddy at school and there's no one to give it to!" He sobbed and sank his head into his mum's robes, his breathing erratic as he broke his heart. "Dean's daddy ran away from him and his mummy… did my daddy run away too?" Tears coated his cheeks and his breathing irregular he looked into his mothers eyes.

"No he did not!" Sirius spoke firmly, "Harry, you're daddy isn't here because he protected you! He loved you and He is still your daddy even though protecting you meant he isn't here right now!" Harry looked at his mother confused, tears still flowing down his cheeks, eyes red an puffy. Lily didn't know what to say, it was a half truth, he did protect Harry and he didn't run away, but she couldn't help thinking it could leave a child with the impression that 'daddy' would be coming back.

"Accio photo album" Severus spoke calmly, "Harry, would you mind coming here to me?" His voice was soft and low. "I have something that might help" Harry looked at his mother, she nodded reassuringly, though she had no idea what anyone was going to say, what could they say? He walked over to Severus who sat in his arm chair, the little book on the arm of the chair, he lifted Harry on to his lap. "This is a photo album, it's where we keep our favourite memories" He smiled at the little boy and wiped his tears with the back of his hand, then he lay the book on his and Harry's lap and opened it, "See here is a very little Harry, I didn't know you then, and there is your mummy, she looks very happy, and that man right there, he looks like you yes?" He smiled at Harry and the little boy nodded, "That Harry is your daddy! He looks very happy too right?" He asked, Harry nodded again, "I don't think that man would run away from his little boy, do you?" Harry shook his head. They continued to look at pictures of James, and Harry growing a little bit at a time, neither of them said anything, they reached the point where his Daddy no longer showed up.

"If Daddy loved me… Why is he not here now?" Harry asked, a few tears still escaping from time to time, but the breathing was now calm.

"Well, that is a very sad story Harry, and we can't tell you it all, because you are very little" Severus held the little boy closer, "But Sirius is right, he protected you, now the house in the pictures, that's not our house is it?"

"No… whose house is it?" He asked.

"That is the house where you and mummy and your daddy lived, but one night a very bad man came and that house was destroyed, your daddy protected you from the bad man, but unfortunately, your daddy didn't manage to get out and save himself, because he was too busy saving you" He paused, noting it was quite different from what actually happened. "And because he chose to save you first, as every good daddy does, your daddy died" He finished softly

"My daddy… died?" He asked, tears welled up again.

"Yes… and it was much more complicated than what I have said, but I think you're too little for that story" He hugged the little boy, his breathing still calm he cried again, holding Severus so tight he thought the little boy would never let go. Lily, Remus and Sirius all watched, realising because they loved James so much, they were unable to do what Severus had, tell the truth, the complete truth as much as Harry could handle, but to do it gently. None of them would ever be able to say that James was dead, not because they wanted to hide it, just because it hurt. Severus cared so deeply for little Harry, he could never lie, he could never be callous, he would be honest and love the child through the pain he was feeling.

"Was it my fault?" Harry struggled to push the words out.

"No!" Severus spoke firmly, "Don't ever, ever think that!" He whispered into Harry's ear, "You're Daddy saved you because he loved you so much! Now the person who is to blame is the bad man! He did something naughty and its all his fault!" He paused looking into the little boys eyes. Harry sat there a while hugging Severus, and Severus holding him tenderly, asked, "Do you understand?" Harry nodded and cuddled in a little more, Severus' arms protectively around him until his tears stopped. They all sat in silence for sometime, again it was Harry that spoke, still more playing on his mind.

"Dean said he got a new daddy… Am I not allowed a new daddy because he didn't run away?" He asked innocently, completely believing that there might be some rule that stopped someone from having a daddy. Severus was speechless, he looked at the little boy and realised that he just wanted _a_ daddy, that his birth father, whilst very important and so hard for him to hear that he wouldn't be back, wasn't the real issue, he was a child craving a dad and despite the men in his life, this was something that he still lacked.

"Of course you are, however getting a new daddy is not that simple!" Severus explained with a little smile, "Being a daddy is a big and important job and you have to be very careful who you give that job to" Harry sat deep in thought, his tight grip on Severus had lessened.

"What is a daddy's job?"

"Well…" He mused, his thoughts went to his own father and thought that was not a man living up to the job description, and in a moment of sudden consternation, he realised he did not know. "What do you think a daddy's job is?" Harry looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I think he should be there to make me and mummy feel safe, and love us both lots and lots" He said, then paused thinking some more, "He should make me feel better when i'm sad or feeling poorly, He should be able to tell me off when i'm a bit cheeky, but still love me even when he's cross!" He looked at Severus, "That one is important!"

"You want a daddy that tells you off?" He smiled

"YES!" He exclaimed, "Otherwise I might end up being as naughty as that bad man!" He paused again as Severus chuckled.

"You could never be like that bad man, your too lovely!" He smiled and kissed Harry on the head, "But it is very smart to know a Daddy should tell you off for being cheeky"

"I think a Daddy should be able to have fun too and should tell me a bed time story every night so I don't get bad dreams… I don't think I can think of anything else… but I think when I get bigger I will need a daddy for lots and lots of other things!"

"That sounds like a wonderful Daddy!" He smiled. Harry looked shy and buried his face in Severus' robes. "Are you ok?" Harry nodded, his face still buried in the mans robes. "hmmm… Is Harry telling me fibbies?" Harry buried his face even more. Severus pulled him away from his hiding place and stood him on his lap, Harrys looked at his feet, hiding his face. "Mr Potter… can I see that face please?" he spoke sternly.

"Oi, Sev, just let the boy be!" Sirius spoke rather forcefully, though it was the first time he called him 'sev'

"Sorry Sirius, but I can't not until I see a nice huge smile on this little one's face!" Harry looked up a bit and there was a half hearted smile there. "Sorry Harry not big enough, tell me what's wrong, then I can fix it!"

"Its barrassing!" He tried to hide his face again. Severus smiled at him.

"I have been in many embarrassing situations, trust me, I understand… but hiding it wont help" He smiled at Harry sitting him down. "Come on… spit it out!" Harry took the opportunity to bury himself in Severus' robes all over again mumbling something indecipherable into Sev's chest. "I have no idea what you are saying Mr"

"Severus… just leave him, he'll say something in his own time!" Sirius grumbled again.

"Nope, we want to fix it right Harry?" Severus asked, Harry nodded and looked up and little tears in his eyes again. "Cuddle first?" Harry nodded and grabbed him round the neck in a vice grip.

"I was just thinking about what I fink a daddy is" He cried, "And I fought you were just like a daddy that I would like, but your not my daddy!" He sobbed and buried his face again, the tears came thick and fast and Severus was without a doubt dumbfounded. Lily's eyes widened and yet sadness was written on her face at how her little boy had been feeling, Remus alone had a little smile, Sirius looked like he might explode. All Severus did was hug the crying little boy and whispered in his ear, he voice was so quite that only little Harry could hear.

"That's not embarrassing, that is very sweet, it's lovely that you think that much about me Harry, it really really is!" he kissed the little boy's cheek.

"What are you saying to him Severus… You should stop confusing the poor child!" Remus kicked Sirius, "Ow Remus!"

"Just Shut up Sirius, Harry is really hurting, let go of your own crap for once in your life!" Remus fumed, Lily's eyes stayed with Harry and Severus.

"But that prat is trying to push himself on Harry!"

"Sirius… please do everyone a favour and just shut up! I am speaking to Harry and only Harry!" He turned his face back to Harry, "It's ok to think that way Harry, it really is!" Harry continued to cry out the feelings that he had trapped inside his tiny chest. After sometime Harry sat back up and looked at Severus, the little boys eyes were now read and puffy. "I think we need a tissue!" He said and with that Lily threw a small packet of tissues over to him, he pulled one out and wiped away all the tears away. "Now I think we definitely need to blow that nose too" Harry blew and Severus wiped.

"That's gross!" Harry laughed finally, Severus threw the tissue in the air in front of Harry and with a wordless spell it vanished and Severus made a shocked face and Harry smiled even more! "You're the best at Magic!"

"Well Professor Dumbledore might be a bit better… but he has a big white beard!" He smiled at the little boy. Harry looked happier but still unsure.

"Nape…" he started, "Do you not want to be a daddy?" he looked at him, not crying, but his eyes were a little sad.

"Well" He began, thinking he had definitely gotten much better at answering Harry's numerous and rather awkward questions, "It isn't just about what I want Harry, but being a Daddy is a very big honour, and for a little boy to choose me!" He paused tears threatening his eyes now, "Harry that is the best present anyone could ever ever give!" He thought about how he would even handle this, knowing that with Sirius' reaction he would never be able to accept such a proposal from such a small child, knowing that the timing was truly Lily's call, a tear escaped and rolled down his cheek. "And for that little boy to be you!" He paused again, another tear escaped. Harry took a fresh tissue and wiped Severus' tear's away. "I can't imagine anything nicer"

Lily tore her eyes away from Harry and Sev for a moment to see that Sirius' face was filled with outrage, Remus' face had a gentle smile, and she knew she had to say it, no one else could. "Sev," She began, "This has nothing to do with anyone, no one but you and Harry"

Harry looked at Severus, his face a little flushed. "If it's between you and me?" He looked hopeful and Severus smiled.

"If it's just between you and me, I think I just got the best present in the whole world!" He smiled and Harry hugged him tightly. Sirius got up and left the house, the mending that had taken place, undone by one little boys need to have a daddy to love him.

"Does that mean I got a daddy?" He smiled

"I don't think there is anyone more honoured in the world than me right now!" he smiled at Harry.

"What does honoured mean?"

"It means that I feel incredibly special and thankful that you think I am good enough to be a daddy… and not just any daddy, but yours, because you are the most special boy in the whole world" He smiled and kissed his little cheeks, "I am very proud to have you as my little boy" He smiled again another tear slipping out as Harry pulled out a very crumbled and somewhat tear strained hand made Fathers Day card, it had a drawing of Harry on the front with the words 'Happy Fathers Day"

"Why you crying if your happy… Daddy" he questioned, smiling as he said the final word

"Sometimes we are so happy we need to cry, because there is just too much happy"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and kudos - thanks for reading


	12. Spider-Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry struggles with bedtime and Severus struggles with a spell

Chapter 12 - Spider-Man?

Things had been decidedly different since Peters arrest, Severus declared daddy and the research into Horcruxes began. Harry had been ecstatically happy and would use the word 'daddy' as often as he possibly could. Sirius had put aside his differences with Severus, somewhat, seeing that Harry was truly happy had caused him to soften slightly. He had even decided to help devise a plan for Severus' mission to get a suspected Horcrux from the Malfoy Mansion. That isn't to say that Sirius had forgiven Severus at all, or that he was particularly nice to him when Harry wasn't in the room, however it was far better than they had thought it would be.

"Severus, you need to be able to transfigure the object perfectly, and as I can't do it for you beforehand, _you_ must get your transfiguration skills up to parr." Sirius lectured.

"I can transfigure items just fine, thank you, Sirius!" He snapped back.

"Not with the detail that is required!" He retorted, "Severus, if they notice just one detail that isn't right, that's your cover blown... so you will practice until these are perfect!"

"Where was Professor Black when you worked at Hogwarts!" He sneered, looking back at the notebook that he needed to transfigure his parchment into, Sirius stated that all the writing had to be exactly as in the notebook, the handwriting a perfect match until then they would not go further with their plan. The spell that Severus was learning would transfigure an object to exactly match a chosen object, thereby duplicating it exactly, however, it took a great deal of Transfiguration skill, skill at such a level that Severus just didn't have. Yes he could brew any potion, and did so will excellence, he was well learned in many area's, the Dark Arts and their defence, he was well practiced in the adaptation of potions and creation of spells, he was a skilled Legillimens and Occlumens, he knew his Herbology back to front, he was even fairly proficient at Charms and Transfiguration, however, if there was ever a weak spot in his skills set, it was Transfiguration and Charms, and having Sirius Black school him on it, well, it wounded his ego somewhat, the one he refused to admit that he had.

"Well this one has the first few pages with the right handwriting, but nothing makes sense, you need to pour _more_ into it, _more_ concentration, be _more_ focused!"

"I really don't need a lecture on focus!" He snapped back, closing his eyes he focused on the sheet of parchment in front of him, and the notebook he was supposed to be transfiguring the parchment into. "Prorsus" He kept his focus on the words, the handwriting, the leather and the thin gold lettering that was embossed on the front. Slowly, the parchment changed, the parchment curled round and grew darker, soon there was dark blue leather instead of parchment and a delicately thin golden thread around the edges. The golden lettering traced the front cover, as more and more pages grew from the now solid spine. Severus focused on the handwriting in the original notebook and on the actual words that were written inside it. Ink spread through the many pages.

"What ya doin'?… Daddy!" Harry snuck up behind Severus, shouting happily

"Practicing Harry" he spoke calmly as he opened his eyes and saw that although everything looked right, the writing was still nonsense, he sighed. "And it isn't going well"

"Can Harry help?" He looked up expectantly.

"I'm afraid not... Daddy needs to be able to do this on his own" he smiled.

"I can get Uncle Siri to make you a cup o' tea!" He smiled adoringly.

"That would be helpful" he smiled, secretly just hoping for some peace so maybe he could master this spell. Harry ran out and Severus pulled out yet another piece of parchment and the notebook he was supposed to be copying, he looked intently at the script and focused on the words and what they said, that the words had meaning. He thought about what Sirius had said on this particular detail.

 _"_ _You don't need to know what every word in the book is, that would be impossible, you just need to focus on the fact that they have meaning, and the general idea behind the book, with the original close by, with focus, the spell will do the rest!"_

 _"_ _Sirius... I really don't understand, I either know what the book says or I don't!" He replied, irritated that for once he was being taught by a Marauder and that it was the Marauder that had the greater knowledge and skill set._

 _"_ _Focus on the general meaning behind the text... not the meaning behind each word"_

With that in mind he focused on the meaning behind the silly story Sirius had written in the notebook, it was a bunch of Muggle stories, taken from something he called comics, the whole idea was good beating evil with 'superpowers' he didn't really understand the concept but he focused on it anyway.

"Prorsus" he spoke with his eyes closed focusing on ... Spiderman? Again the parchment started to change and again it failed, inside was the words 'Spider-Man?' Over and over again. He sighed yet again.

"Daddy!" Harry shouted as he trotted from the kitchen to the dining room, where Severus worked, the hot tea spilling from the mug as he went. "I got you a cup of tea!"

"Careful!" He took the cup from Harry, now half empty. "Thank you... maybe I need a break" he got up and walked over to the armchair that had become 'his chair' the large cosy one that no one else sat in because it was generally understood to be 'Severus' chair'. As he sat in the chair he visibly relaxed and sipped the tea, clearly, Harry had a hand in making it, he grimaced at the taste. Harry climbed up on to his knee.

"You need a snuggle," Harry said matter of factly. Severus laughed lightly and wrapped his arms around Harry.

"Ok... I think a little snuggle would be ok" They sat there for some time, Severus occasionally taking a sip of the disgusting tea that Harry had brought. He closed his eyes and listened to Harry's breathing, waiting for the silence to be broken, because that's what Harry did, especially in recent weeks. He would be deceptively quiet and then ask questions, 'dad questions'.

"Why are you not here all the time like a normal Daddy?" He asked

"I teach at a special boarding school, that's where the children sleep there, for young wizards; called Hogwarts" His eyes still closed, savouring the last moments of quiet relaxation, knowing that a flurry of questions was due to follow.

"What's Hogwarts like?"

"It's where wizards go when they turn 11, and you learn how to do magic, you get a grown-up wand, and get sorted into a Hogwarts House" Severus explained, his eyes opening and his posture changing slightly, showing that he was no longer relaxing, now he was paying attention. He found he would think about how his father had been when he was a child and tried to do the opposite. His father didn't have much time for Severus, and so he would endeavour to make time for Harry.

"What magic do you learn? What are houses? How do you get sorted?" Harry rabbited out question after question. Severus chuckled gently, the relaxation was lost now.

"There are a lot of different lessons, but to start with you get, Herbology, Potions, that's the one I teach, Transfiguration, Uncle Sirius is very good at this one, Charms, which your Mum excelled at, and Defence Against the Dark Arts" he explained, "Can you guess what they are?"

"Erm...nope"

"Well Herbology is all about magical plants and how to take care of them, what they are used for, Potions, well, you learn how to make Potions" he smiled

"Wow! You make Potions! What Potions!"

"Oh lots of Potions, lots and lots, I make some that can make people feel better when they feel poorly, I can make one that helps Remus feel better every month, and I can even make one that stops people from being able to tell lies!" Harry looked up, his big green eyes wide with wonder.

"WOW! You are the bestest wizard ever!" He paused momentarily, Severus almost closed his eyes again when Harry spoke again, "What are the other lessons?"

"Transfiguration, that's about turning something into something else, like how Uncle Sirius can change himself into a dog, Charms are spells that can do all sorts of things, like making things fly. And Defence Against the Dark Arts, that's about how to defend yourself against bad spells and dark creatures"

"So that one is important?"

"Very," He said and closed his eyes again. Harry sat quietly snuggling, clearly thinking.

"You didn't tell me about the houses yet!" He exclaimed.

"There are four houses and you get sorted into a house based on the kind of person you are, Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff" He spoke sedately, almost trying to drift away.

"What do the houses mean?" Harry's voice was anything but sedate, he was eager and excited, though he wanted to rest, Severus always found his thirst for information endearing, regardless of how it reared it's head at the most inconvenient times, or roused him from his peaceful siesta.

"Well, Slytherin, they are cunning, ambitious and sneaky, Gryffindor's are brave and bold, your daddy was in Gryffindor, that's why he was so brave when he saved you," he smiled at Harry, and gave him a gentle squeeze, Harry looked up at him.

"My daddy was very very brave?" He asked smiling slightly.

"Yes he was, not many people were brave enough to face the wizard that came to the house that night Harry, He was very brave indeed." Shocked that he had moved on so much that he could compliment a man he hated so much, so thoroughly, and what's more, he meant it. "The other houses are good too though, Ravenclaw's are very smart and like to focus on their work and love to read, Hufflepuff's are kind and loyal, they tend to be the nicest people at Hogwarts"

"And the children live there all the time?"

"No, just from September and then they go home for a little bit at Christmas, then back until June"

"That's still a long time? It sounds like all the time!" He paused, thinking about how often his Daddy wasn't in the house, it really did seem like all the time in the world. "Are you the best teacher?"

"Well that depends on who you are, all my students get very good marks, because I am very strict and set lots of homework, but they don't like me very much... I'm seen as a bit... mean" he smiled at Harry.

"But you're not mean! You're lovely!" Harry exclaimed. Severus laughed.

"Well, that isn't what young Bill Weasley thought when he got detention last week for being late to class!" This led to a whole new flurry of questions from Harry about detentions and how Hogwarts was run, house points, and they spent the best part of the afternoon talking all about Hogwarts.

Severus had spent the entire day focused on the complicated Transfiguration spell he had to use. He had more than one debate with Sirius on wither the detail he was expecting was really required. It was odd to see that for once Severus was the one trying to take the shortcut, and Sirius was the focused and strict one. Secretly he seemed to enjoy being the expert for a change, usually, Severus was the one dishing out the orders. This led to sheer exhaustion and Severus and Lily were passed out in bed shortly after Harry had gone to sleep. Lily having come from a rather troubling shift at St Mungo's.

* * *

 It was late, long after they had all gone to bed, that Harry padded into his mum and Severus' room. Sniffling he pushed the door open and saw both of them fast asleep, closer to the door was Lily, peacefully curled up in a ball, snoring lightly. Harry walked around the bed to a loudly snoring Severus, who slept a little more haphazardly than Lily, limbs falling off the edge of the bed. Harry prodded a leg that dangled off the side of the bed.

"Daddy" He sniffled as he prodded some more, However Severus didn't really budge. "Daddeeey" he whimpered and prodded the sleeping man in the chest this time. Severus stirred and Harry sniffled some more, "Daddy, pease!" Slowly he opened his eyes to see two big green eyes with big tears sat there, just waiting to fall.

"Sso.k Harry" he mumbled as he started to wake, "ssh don't wanna wake mummy," he said sleepily, and placed a finger to his lips, Harry nodded at him and he pulled himself up out of bed and grabbed his wand from the bedside table. Picking up Harry he walked from the room quietly closing the door behind him gently. "What's the problem, Harry?" He asked as he walked down the stairs.

"I had a scary dream" he sniffed again, "I think there is a monster under my bed!" He whispered.

"Oh don't worry" Severus nodded sleepily, "I can deal with that" he waved his wand a little for Harry to see, "Maybe a bit of hot chocolate first?" Harry smiled nodding. Severus sat Harry on the side whilst he made the hot chocolate, heating milk up, hoping this would send the little boy off to sleep.

"Can I have a little bit of story too?" He asked picking up the Notebook that had been so offending Severus all day.

"Of course." He yawned as he mixed the chocolate and the warm milk, just a touch of sugar, just the way Harry liked it. He picked Harry up with one arm and handed Harry the hot chocolate, "careful with that, it's hot" he whispered picked up his wand and with a swish, the lights went out, a second swish and a beam of light flew from his wand. Quietly he walked up the stairs, pausing on the occasional creaky step. Then gently passed his and Lily's bedroom and into Harry's, he placed Harry on the bed. "Where was this monster, Harry?" He asked quietly.

"Under the bed!" He whispered pointing down. Severus knelt on the floor and guided his light underneath, there was nothing.

"I think he ran away Harry…" Severus whispered, "but just to be safe... Expecto Patronum" he whispered and gave his wand an extravagant swish. Bursting from his wand was a rush of light that formed a Doe. "This is my Patronus Harry, and he keeps us safe from even the scariest of monsters" he whispered. Harry stared in wonder.

"Wow" he whispered, dragging the word out, he watched the Doe prance around the room where Severus directed it, as though it checked every nook and cranny. "It must have gone! I bet it was really scared of you cause you're a big wizard!" Harry's voice was filled with wonder as the Patronus fizzled away, leaving just the wand light still lighting the room.

"O.k," he whispered, "let's get under those quilts shall we" he moved back the blanket and Harry moved to the far end, and without question Severus got in beside him, pulling Harry close. He took the notebook, "I guess we are reading this one then!" He smiled.

"Yes please!" Harry snuggled his head under Severus' arm waiting to hear the story.

"Well, here goes, Peter Parker was an ordinary boy, well not ordinary, he was extremely smart, not that this got him anywhere, he was bullied and picked on at school, he was rubbish at sports and in fact, sports was the only class that he failed. He was 15 and yet he was in love, he loved MJ, she was the beautiful redhead in his class, he longed to be friends with her, she was the sweetest and kindest girl he had ever laid eyes on, and she was by far the most beautiful" He paused a moment, "Actually Harry, this Peter Parker does seem to have some sense"

"But we don't know anything about him yet… we don't know if he has any sense yet!" Harry butted in.

"He pays attention at school and is in love with a beautiful redhead… He seems to have his head on straight to me!"

"You mean cause Mummy is beautiful and has red hair too!" Harry giggled

"Exactly, smart boy that Peter." He focused back on the notebook and found his place. "Ah yes, here we are, Peter and his class were going to a big science lab for a school trip, it was very high tech and Peter was lucky to be going, mainly because he was so smart, that and the fact that his one best friend, Harry Osborne, his father owned the lab. Peter wanted to be a scientist so this was the perfect opportunity for him to see what it would be like. It was a fantastic day, although Peter was too distracted by just how beautiful MJ was" He paused again, "Harry I have got myself in more trouble being distracted by your beautiful mother than anything else, I feel for Mr Parker" Harry giggled again. "Anyway, on with the story… Whilst he was watching her, watching various experiments in the lab he bumped into a cage, the cage had an assortment of Spiders in it, Peter wasn't careful, he was still watching MJ, one of the spiders bit him, he only noticed when he felt a sharp pain in his hand. Peter thought nothing of it and went along with his day, though he was more careful about being distracted from now on."

"This is a boring story… is something going to happen soon?" Harry looked up.

"Well it's called Spider-Man, I imagine that something is going to happen to Peter now he has been bitten… what do you think?"

"He's going to turn into a HUGE spider… but still, have his own head… so he's a spider and a man?" He asked

"I have no idea… it's a muggle story, so let's carry on shall we?"

"Ok… I'll give it five more minutes, but after that, I'm getting Babbitty!" He said rather calmly.

"Brilliant," He said with a note of sarcasm, Severus was sick to high heaven of Babbitty Rabbity, he read it nearly every night, sometimes more than once. "The next day Peter was getting ready for school, and he put on his glasses, suddenly everything was blurry, Peter was confused, he always needed glasses before, he moved over to the mirror, and without even thinking about it, he flipped through the air to check his appearance, he looked the same, and yet he wasn't, he could flip around like an acrobat and he could see perfectly, he found he could hear things from very far away too. Then reaching out for his glasses he found webs shot from his wrists and stuck to the glasses and with the slightest movement of his wrist they zoomed towards him super fast, but Peter, who had always been rubbish at sport caught them easily."

"HE'S A MAN…. BUT WITH SPIDER POWERS!" Harry blurted out.

"Shhh… Mummy is still asleep" Severus whispered and listened for any sign of disruption in the house, nothing. "Yes Peter realised that he now had superpowers, just like Iron Man and Captain America, they were always saving the day. And so that is what Peter did. He made himself a secret disguise and he would go around New York and when he saw trouble he would save people." Severus continued the story for some time and Harry eventually became sleepy. Severus didn't notice that he had dropped off as he finished the story, "The Green Goblin had been beaten, but he still had MJ trapped, Peter lost no time looking about the city for her until he found her trapped in a cage, he pulled it apart and lowered her to the ground, Peter watched her, hanging upside down from the cage as she thanked him. Then all Peter's dreams came true, MJ pulled down the red mask to his nose, still protecting his secret identity, then she kissed him, it was Peters first kiss."

Severus looked at Harry who was now fast asleep. Feeling more relaxed than he had all day he pulled out his wand and tried again; "Prorsus" closing his eyes he thought about the way the notebook looked, all the details of Sirius' handwriting, and he thought about the meaning behind the story, the boy getting the girl of his dreams and saving the day. To his surprise, the notebook seemed to be a perfect copy, he transfigured three more objects to look identical and they all succeeded. Finally, he allowed himself to drift off to sleep, right where he lay with Harry snuggled into the crook of his arm. 

* * *

 The following morning Severus handed Sirius the pile of notebooks that he had transfigured after Harry's story. A look of pride on his face still exhausted from a serious lack of sleep, it showed. Sirius just looked at his proud expression, his face replied with the same expression that Severus gave a proud first year that managed not to screw up a potion for a change, it wasn't a nice look.

"You had to stay up all night?" Sirius mocked.

"No, Harry had a nightmare, I tried after reading that silly story and Harry was back to sleep, it worked the first time!" He smirked.

"Yea, first time after struggling all day" He sniggered.

"That spell… it recreates everything, exactly?" Severus asked

"Yea… Completely replicates the appearance of the object your starting with, why?" He asked.

"If its a Horcrux, it's likely to give off a- erm, it will emit an aura of dark magic… will it recreate that?" Sirius just looked at Severus confused.

"No! Transfiguration is more concerned with what something looks like!" He talked down to the other wizard, and here Severus saw that Sirius still bore the grudge, still angry, it just came out in different ways.

"Great!" He fumed, "Something else I will have to figure out."

"Not to mention Harry's birthday this week, I think you have to do more now… _daddy"_ he laughed.

"Oh don't worry, I already have that one sorted." He smiled confidently, as he walked out of the room, his heart sank… 'birthday', Harry would be four this year and he had no idea what to get, finding Lily on the couch he settled next to her.

"You got the spell sorted then?" She questioned as she leaned into him

"Finally" He smiled, wrapping his arms around her. They sat in a comfortable silence for some time. "Harry's birthday?" He eventually questioned lightly, still not wanting to betray the concern he felt about his choice of present this year. To him, it felt rather significant, and he felt that it should be significant for Harry too.

"I was going to get him clothes and then something special… He's growing so quickly" She smiled, "Did you want to choose something together?"

"No, I still want to get him something from me, but I think I wanted it to be a bit more … significant this year" He smiled, "It's got me at somewhat of a loss."

"You realise your presents are always his favourite"

"Exactly… there's a lot to live up to!" He smiled, "I guess I thought 'as a dad' it should be more special, more personal"

"You're putting too much pressure on yourself, just relax and do what you always do, Harry will be ecstatic with that" She pulled her legs up on to his lap and nestled her feet between his legs, pushing them under his thigh.

"What are you doing?" He asked, looking at her like she was boiling kittens

"My feet are cold" She answered matter of factly

"I know… I can feel them!" He exclaimed though there was a hidden smile in his eyes. "Like blocks of ice they are!" She gave no reply, simply kissing him whilst pushing her feet further under his thigh, wiggling her toes, he shook his head, almost, disapprovingly.

"Anyway, when you're in a good mood, I have something to run by you" She smiled.

"Oh, yea…" He pulled her feet on from under his legs and began rubbing them. "Do go on," he said as she lay back smiling enjoying the foot rub.

"You're very good at that you know… I think when my feet are cold I shall start just placing them in your hands!" She giggled. He shook his head at her again. "It's about Frank and Alice" she continued watching his expression, he pursed his lips and his brow furrowed.

"I really think I could do with a Neville free weekend" He began.

"Oh, it's not that… I was thinking about some of the idea's we came up with, and there was one that I thought we could do more with" She spoke optimistically.

"And what idea was that I can't think of one idea that I thought had any real hope"

"Well you mentioned that there are potions for both dealing with Cruciatus damage and damage to your magical core"

"Yes, and Frank has been taking them both… it's not really changed anything has it?" He continued, he felt that there was little to no hope for Frank and Alice… but he did not have the heart to say.

"Yes… But I was in one of the long-term wards the other day and there are people that have been put into magical coma's… Maybe a combination of that and the potions regularly would be able to re-boot the system as it were?" She smiled, hoping that this was something viable.

"I suppose that it would give Franks body and magical core a rest whilst the potions worked… but that is a long shot and there is always a chance that they won't wake up, right?"

"I know… but it is a viable idea? Potions can have a greater effect whilst someone is in that state" she began to sit up, hopeful.

"Its very dangerous Lily, they might not wake up"Severus' voice was low and cautious. "You can't speak to them about it until we have read up and done some more tests, we can't repeat the Lupin incident" He looked at her warningly

"I know" She kissed him, "But you will look into it with me?" He rolled his eyes at her.

"Of course!" Inside, Severus still felt that there was no hope for Frank and Alice. "Anyway, what's next on your plan to get this potential … erm, object, from Karkarof?" She asked

"Well, I have the spell down, but I know that I need a way of duplicating the aura that the object is likely to give off, magical objects can often affect those that are around them… I just don't know how"

* * *

 That night Lily and Severus got ready for dinner out. For Lily, this took an awful lot of fussing and complete dominion of the bathroom. For Severus, it took a quick shower, a fresh set of robes and a some Polyjuice Potion. He had a wide range of hairs to choose from, various people from the Order, including Sirius, he would be the most realistic person to be out for dinner with Lily, but he couldn't abide having a date night as Sirius Black. Eventually, he chose a different Order member, Kingsley Shacklebolt. Sure he and Lily were not known for going out together, but it was feasible and he wouldn't have to listen to the rumours that would no doubt circulate about Sirius and Lily. He would be more comfortable with Remus, but the potion wasn't supposed to be used with animal hair, and Remus being a werewolf, well it was a grey area, he hadn't chanced it yet.

"Lily… are you not done yet?" He shouted as he added hairs to the potion and swilled it around a bit, the potion bubbled and changed colour, "Disgusting" He spoke mainly to himself, decanting it into a hip fast that he could keep on his person.

"You can't rush this kind of thing Sev, be patient!" She called from the bathroom. Harry then came running down, now ready for bed, but clearly not going just yet.

"Aren't you supposed to be having your story Mr?" Severus spoke almost sternly

"Not yet… Uncle Siri said I can wait until you and Mummy have gone out." He smiled and held his arms towards the man.

"Come on then," He picked him up and they settled in the cosy armchair. "You're going to be really good for Uncle Sirius aren't you?" He asked.

"Yes! We are gonna have hot chocolate and then brush teefs and then have a story!" He smiled. "But you will be back later won't you? Just in case the monster comes back?" Harry's face changed, worry showing in the giant green eyes.

"Of course, and we won't be that late, before I go to bed I will check your room, ok?" He promised.

"What if it come's back before you're home?" He asked

"Well you ask Uncle Sirius to take a look, he's more than able to get rid of a nasty monster!" He smiled. Severus was secretly thrilled that there were so many things Harry seemed to rely on him for, and only him, things that Sirius and Remus and Lily couldn't do, that actually, he was greatly needed by Harry.

"Can he make a shiny anmal to make the monster go away?" He questioned earnestly

"How about we check?" He smiled. "Sirius!" He called and Sirius was quickly making his way from the kitchen. "Sirius, Harry needs to know if you can make a shiny animal to chase away monsters that hide under his bed?" He looked earnestly, there was a look in his eye daring Sirius to mock his word choice, or even the fact that with Harry around he was about as 'un-professor Snape-ish' as a person could be. "Like a Patronus"

"Oh, yea… no problem Harry" He replied

"I gotta see it," he said, again his voice was so matter-of-fact it was hard not to smile, "Just to be sure!"

"Sure thing kiddo… Expecto Patronum" He flourished his wand and from it sprouted a large dog, shining and bright.

"That's not right," Harry said shaking his head, "It's the wrong one!"

"Harry, everyone's Patronus is a different shape, it shows what makes you happy, Sirius' is different because his happiness is different from mine" Severus explained.

"What was Sev's Harry? Was it a horrible snake?" Sirius asked, "Maybe a bat?"

"No!" He exclaimed, "It was beautiful! It was a bit like a horse… but different" He spoke innocently

"Sev… what is it?" He asked. "Come on"

"Its a secret" He smiled. "And a very personal question actually…" He trailed off. Lily began to come downstairs, she looked effortlessly elegant in her little black dress and heels and her long black coat. Her hair was held in a loose bun at the nape of her neck.

"Mummy… Can you make the tronus?" Harry almost shouted.

"The what?" She asked confused.

"Apparently Severus uses his Patronus to chase monsters from Harry's bedroom when he has a nightmare, I had to prove I could do one," Sirius said

"Oh, yes… want to see?" She smiled. Harry smiled giddily "Expecto Patronum," she said as she flourished her wand and the doe burst forth.

"That's just like Daddies!" Harry burst out, Severus hid his face somewhat, with Harry not knowing just how revealing this fact was. Lily smiled gently and blushed slightly, Sirius looked shocked.

"You're sure Harry?" Sirius asked, understanding just what it meant.

"Yes! Exactly the same!" Harry then looked at Severus, "Is that because you and mummy make each other so happy?" he spoke so innocently.

"Mine is like that because your mummy makes me so happy, so it decided to copy hers" He smiled. "Anyway… I believe its hot chocolate, teeth and bed for you Mr" He handed Harry over to Sirius and took Lily's arm and made their way to the door. "Oh. Wait" He quickly took a drink of the Polyjuice and his features began to change almost instantly, once he was completely transformed into Kingsley they left the house.

* * *

 The restaurant that they went to was deep in Muggle London, though it was known to be a hot spot for the wizarding community as well, due to being so close to Diagon Alley. The restaurant was dark with sparkling chandeliers, light reflecting on the ceiling like stars. Their table was sat in a secluded corner. Sitting close together they ate quietly.

"Lily" Severus began, his voice somewhat nervous, "It's been a year now, the single best year of my life, despite everything that has happened, I have never been happier" He focused intently on his plate. "I know it wasn't for you, and I know you will always wish you were with him, with… James-" He continued, She lifted her hand, covering his mouth.

"Sev," She shook her head, "This last year, it may not have been the best, but it has been a good year, considering the fear that I live in for Harry's life, and all of that is down to you, please don't bring James into this conversation" She smiled, leaning towards him, she whispered into his ear, "I love you Severus Snape" and then kissed his cheek.

"I love you…" He paused looking into her bright emerald eyes, "more than my own life" he paused again, unable to tear his eyes from hers. "I have nothing much to offer you, I do not deserve a woman as good or as kind as you, my soul… I painted it black, I live in fear of losing all that I have gained in these last years, but I will do whatever it takes, I swear Lily, anything, to keep this, and you have all of me, I hope one day I can stand in the light with you, out in the open." He whispered.

"You are so worthy, you are brave beyond anything I have seen, A man willing to die for love, to die in the place of a man you hate, just for the woman you love?" She nodded as his face showed the shock that she realised just what caused his actions, how far he had been willing to go, even without the hope of living, without the hope of having her love. "How is that not worthy?"

"It does not erase my past." He whispered.

"But your choice to turn away atones for it." He shook his head as she spoke.

"You do not realise why I turned away" He looked at her, fear in his eyes, fear that the truth could break the love he had, and yet he knew to be worthy, as he wanted to be, he needed to be truthful, "I intended only to tell Albus what he needed to know, to keep you safe, I would have returned, hating my life as I did, to save it I would always have gone back to him. Albus placed a price on your protection, the price was me, turning from the Dark Lord, turning spy for Albus, I did it for no other reason than to save you." He looked at her shame filling his face, her face distorted, confused, a single tear fell and he closed his eyes, unable to look, unable to watch as he ruined all that he had cultivated, why hadn't he been honest from the start, surely then this _may_ have been forgiven.

"You couldn't turn away… not even for yourself?" She whispered, "Do you hate yourself so much?"

"I did" He replied

"And now?"

"I have respect for myself again," Still unable to look at her, "That is more than I have felt in a long time, since before…" He paused, "Fifth, year... O.W.L's"

"I have never known someone to hold a grudge like you… even against yourself" Her hand on his cheek, he finally dared to look up, her caring eyes found his. "Everyone else has forgiven you, maybe it's time you did?"

"I can't… I didn't realise it, but it's my fault he sought you out, I did this" his eyes now wide with fear.

"I knew all along, Albus told us, James and I, after you came and spoke to us, I forgave you, James forgave you without even thinking of it, he saw a man risking his life to make this right, I still see that" She leaned in to kiss him, he shied away, "Severus" She looked sternly at him, "I love you, warts and all" her hand slipped to his neck and she pulled him closer, he accepted her kiss, and the weight he carried lifted, there was now nothing that she did not know, there was nothing that could sneak in and destroy his love.

* * *

 It seemed that nothing could really go wrong for Severus at the moment. At least not where Lily and Harry were concerned, and though he would never say it out loud, they were, in fact, the only thing that he was at all concerned about going well. What did it matter if his cover was blown, he had Harry and Lily, who cared if he got fired from Hogwarts, he still had Harry and Lily, and really what was the problem if he never made a name for himself by creating a far superior Wolfsbane Potion, he still, even then, would have Harry and Lily. More and more the little boy grew to resemble a man he truly hated, just because he respected the man now, it did not undo the hate he held for so many years of torment. He still heard the reason for his torment echoing, ' _It's more of a fact that he exists'_ James had said that, and Severus whilst was a changed man, was still resentful, bitter and could hold a grudge like few others, though apart from Sirius Black it seemed. But even this did not change his love for Harry. He considered Harry his own, from the very moment he had been called Daddy, probably before.

There was, however, one thing that played on his mind, on all their minds. The idea of Horcruxes, the idea of not being able to figure out how The Dark Lord had gained his apparent immortality. Severus feared that his hunch was wrong and that they would have to start over again. His life became absorbed far more so with finding this truth, absolutely, over anything else, over Wolfsbane, over Frank and Alice, over anything. He focused the time that he had with Albus searching for the truth.

"Albus that memory has clearly been tampered with" He spoke with a steady and yet severe tone. "Did he really think that this would fool you?"

"Severus, he is clearly ashamed of something that happened. Shame manages to get people to hold on to secrets with great distress of anyone finding out the truth" Albus replied calmly.

"I have no sympathy… I have had to admit to a great many things that cause me deep shame, deeper shame than I think Horace Slughorn holds." He spat out.

"There are not many as brave as you Severus, particularly in Slytherin." He smiled at the man before him. "The problem with ambition is that it often morphs into the monster of self-preservation."

"I can speak to him… I will use Legilimency on him and discover the truth!" His tone was demanding, there was not meant to be room for Albus to say no.

"I think first we should ask Lily to speak to him, she was a favourite of his"

"Indeed… what else have you managed to get your hands on?" He asked

"Ah yes, it is a bit of Riddle family history" He smiled. "I think that it would enable us to discover the identity of other Horcruxes, and I also have some memories of when I initially met Tom." The headmaster spoke with a glint in his eye.

"And why not start with those? Why start with a clearly fake memory?" His irritation was somewhat clear, though it didn't affect the easy smile on Albus' face.

"It is the most important memory, I can guess what they discussed, I can guess what was really said, however, I do not know, and knowing is important before we act."

"So you wish me to ask Lily to acquire this memory? Or will you be showing it to her?" Severus asked.

"Oh, Lily has already seen it and is aware of the task ahead of her" He smiled. "Well, shall we?" He pulled out a selection of vials from the cabinet where his Pensieve was kept. He poured a memory into the pensieve and together they stepped forward, dipping their heads in, they were soon pulled into the memory that Albus had selected.

_'Severus and Albus watched as a tall figure crossed a road in front of a horse-drawn milk cart. This younger Albus Dumbledore still had long hair and beard, however now they were auburn. He strode along the pavement, drawing many curious glances due to the flamboyantly cut suit of plum velvet that we was wearing._

_"Did you ever try attire that wasn't designed to attract attention?" Severus questioned. Albus simply smiled. They followed his younger self a short distance, finally passing through a set of iron gates into a bare courtyard that fronted a rather grim, square building surrounded by high railings. He mounted the few steps leading to the front door and knocked once. After a moment or two, the door was opened by a scruffy girl wearing an apron._

_"Good afternoon. I have an appointment with a Mrs Cole, who, I believe, is the matron here?"_

_"Oh," Said the bewildered-looking girl, taking in Dumbledore's eccentric appearance. "Um… just a mo'… MRS COLE!" She bellowed over her shoulder._

_Severus heard the distant voice shouting something in response. The girl turned back to Dumbledore._

_"Come in, she's on 'er way."_

_Following the younger Dumbledore, they stepped into a hallway tiled in black and white; the whole place was shabby but spotlessly clean. Before the front door had closed behind them, a skinny, harassed-looking woman came surging towards them. She had a sharp-featured face that appeared more anxious than unkind and she was talking over her shoulder to another aproned helper as she walked towards Dumbledore._

_"…and take the iodine upstairs to Martha, Billy Stubbs has been picking his scabs and Eric Whalley's oozing all over his sheets - chicken pox on top of everything else," she said to nobody in particular, and then her eyes fell upon Dumbledore and she stopped dead in her tracks, looking as astonished as if a giraffe had just crossed her threshold._

_"Good afternoon," Said Dumbledore, holding out his hand._

_Mrs Cole simply gaped._

_"My name is Albus Dumbledore. I sent you a letter requesting an appointment and you very kindly invited me here today."_

_Mrs Cole blinked. Apparently deciding that Dumbledore was not a hallucination, she said feebly, "Oh, yes. Well - well, then - you'd better come into my room. Yes."_

_She led Dumbledore into a small room that seemed part sitting room, part office. It was as shabby as the hallway and the furniture was old and mismatched. She invited Dumbledore to sit on a rickety chair and seated herself behind a cluttered desk, eyeing him nervously._

_"I am here, as I told you in my letter, to discuss Tom Riddle and arrangements for his future," Said Dumbledore._

_"Are you family?" asked Mrs Cole._

_"No, I am a teacher," Said Dumbledore. "I have come to offer Tom a place at my school,"_

_"What school's this, then?"_

_"It is called Hogwarts," Said Dumbledore._

_"And how come you're interested in Tom?"_

_"We believe he has qualities we are looking for."_

_"You mean he's won a scholarship? How can he have done? He's never been entered for one."_

_"Well, his name has been down for our school since birth-"_

_"Who registered him? His parents?"_

_There was no doubt that Mrs Cole was an inconveniently sharp woman. Apparently, Dumbledore thought so too, for Severus now saw him slip his wand out of the pocket of his velvet suit, at the same time as picking up a perfectly blank piece of paper from Mrs Cole's desktop._

_"Here," said Dumbledore, waving his wand once as he passed her the piece of paper, "I think this will make everything clear."_

_"Mrs Cole's eyes slid out of focus and back again as she gazed intently at the blank paper for a moment._

_"That seems perfectly in order," she said placidly, handing it back. Then her eyes fell upon a bottle of gin and two glasses that had certainly not been present a few seconds before. "Er - may I offer you a glass of gin?" She said in an extra-refined voice._

_"Thank you very much," Said Dumbledore, beaming._

_It soon became clear that Mrs Cole was no novice when it came to gin-drinking. Pouring both of them a generous measure, she drained her own glass in one. Smacking her lips frankly, she smiled at Dumbledore for the first time, and he didn't hesitate to press his advantage._

_"I was wondering whether you could tell me anything of Tom Riddle's history? I think he was born here in the orphanage?"_

_"That's right," said Mrs Cole, helping herself to more gin. "I remember it clear as anything because I just started here myself. New Year's Eve and bitter cold, snowing, you know. Nasty night. And this girl, not much older than I was myself at the time, came staggering up the front steps. Well, we took her in and she had the baby within the hour. And she was dead in another hour."_

_Mrs Cole nodded impressively and took another generous gulp of gin._

_"Did she say anything before she died?" asked Dumbledore. "Anything about the boy's father, for instance?"_

_"Now, as it happens, she did," said Mrs Cole, who seemed to be rather enjoying herself now, with the gin in her hand and an eager audience for her story. "I remember she said 'I hope he looks like his papa,' and I won't lie, she was right to hope it, because she was no beauty - an then she told me that he was to be named Tom, for his father, and Marvolo, for her father - yes, I know, funny name, isn't it? We wondered whether she came from a circus - and she said the boy's surname was to be Riddle. And she died soon after without another word. Well, we named him just as she'd said, it seemed so important to the poor girl, but no Tom or Marvolo not any kind of Riddle ever came looking for him, nor any family at all, so he stayed in the orphanage and he's been here ever since."_

_Mrs Cole helped herself, almost absent-mindedly, to another healthy measure of gin. Two pink spots had appeared high on her cheekbones. Then she said, "He's a funny boy."_

_"Yes," said Dumbledore. "I thought he might be."_

_"He was a funny baby, too. He hardly ever cried, you know. And then, when he got a little older, he was… odd."_

_"Odd, in what way?" Asked Dumbledore gently._

_"Well, he-"_

_But Mrs Cole pulled up short, and there was nothing blurry or vague in inquisitorial glance she shot Dumbledore over her gin glass._

_"He's definitely got a place at your school, you say?"_

_"Definitely," said Dumbledore._

_"And nothing I say can change that?"_

_"Nothing," Said Dumbledore._

_"You'll be taking him away, whatever?"_

_"Whatever," repeated Dumbledore gravely._

_She quieted at him as though deciding whether or not to trust him. Apparently, she decided she could, because she said in a sudden rush, "He scares the other children."_

_"You mean he is a bully?" asked Dumbledore._

_"I think he must be," said Mrs Cole, frowning slightly, "but it's very hard to catch him at it. There have been incidents… nasty things…"_

_Dumbledore did not press her, though Severus could see that he was interested. She took yet another gulp of gin and her rosy cheeks grew rosier still._

_"Billy Stubbs's rabbit… well, Tom said he didn't do it and I don't see how he could have done, but even so, it didn't hang itself from the rafters, did it?"_

_"I shouldn't think so, no," said Dumbledore quietly._

_"But I'm jiggered if I know how he got up there to do it. All I know is he and Billy argued the day before. And then-" Mrs Cole took another swig of gin, slopping a little over her chin this time, "on the summer outing - we take them out, you know, once a year, to the countryside or to the seaside - well, Amy Benson and Dennis Bishop were never quite right afterwards, and all we ever got out of them was that they'd gone into a cave with Tom Riddle. He swore they'd just gone exploring, but something happened in there, I'm sure of it. And, well, there have been a lot of things, funny things…"_

_She looked at Dumbledore again, and though her cheeks were flushed, her gaze was steady._

_"I don't think many people will be sorry to see the back of him,"_

_"You understand, I'm sure, that we will not be keeping him permanently?" said Dumbledore. "He will have to return here, at the very least, every summer."_

_"Oh, well, that's better than a whack on the nose with a rusty poker," said Mrs Cole with a slight hiccough. She got to her feet and Severus was quite impressed to see that she was quite steady, even though two-thirds of the gin was gone. "I suppose you'd like to see him?"_

_"Very much," said Dumbledore, rising too._

_She led him out of her office and up the stone stairs calling out instructions and admonitions to helpers and children as she passed. The orphans, Severus saw, were all wearing the same kind of greyish tunic. They looked reasonably well-cared-for, but there was no denying that this was a grim place to grow up, he felt a wave of relief that he had saved Lily, only this time it was for Harry's sake, he wondered what kind of place Harry would have ended up in, knowing that Petunia could never have loved him, her cruel jealousy which turned into a hatred of all things magical._

_"Here we are," said Mrs Cold, as they turned off the second landing and stopped outside the first door in a long corridor. She knocked twice and entered. "Tom? You've got a visitor. This is Mr Dumberton - sorry, Dunderbore. He's come to tell you - well, I'll let him do it."_

_Severus entered the room with both Dumbledores, elder and younger, and Mrs Cole closed the door on them. It was a small bare room with nothing in it except an old wardrobe, a wooden chair and an iron bedstead. A boy was sitting on top of the grey blankets, his legs stretched out in front of him, holding a book. His mother had got her dying wish: he was a handsome boy, tall for eleven years old, dark-haired and pale. His eyes narrowed slightly as he took in Dumbledore's eccentric appearance. There was a moment's silence._

_"How do you do, Tom?" said Dumbledore, walking forwards and holding out his hand._

_The boy hesitated, then took it, and they shook hands. Dumbledore drew up the hard wooden chair beside Riddle so that the pair of them looked rather like a hospital patient and visitor._

_"I am Professor Dumbledore."_

_"Professor?" repeated Riddle. He looked wary. "Is that like 'doctor?' what are you here for? Did she get you to have a look at me?"_

_He was pointing at the door through which Mrs Cole had just left._

_"No, no," said Dumbledore smiling._

_"I don't believe you," said Riddle. "She wants me looked at, doesn't she? Tell the truth!"_

_He spoke the last three words with ringing force that was almost shocking. It was a command, and it sounded as though he had given it many times before. His eyes had widened and he was glaring at Dumbledore, who made no response except to continue smiling pleasantly. After a few seconds, Riddle stopped glaring, though he looked, if anything, warier still._

_"Who are you?"_

_"I have told you. My name is Professor Dumbledore and I work at a school called Hogwarts. I have come to offer you a place at my school - your new school if you would like to come."_

_Riddle's reaction to this was most surprising. He leapt from the bed and backed away from Dumbledore, looking furious._

_"You can't kid me! The asylum, that's where you're from, isn't it? 'Professor', yes, of course - well, I'm not going, see? That old bat's the one who should be in the asylum. I never did anything to little Amy Benson or Dennis Bishop, and you can ask them, they'll tell you!"_

_"I am not from the asylum," said Dumbledore patiently. "I am a teacher and, if you will sit down calmly, I call tell you about Hogwarts. Of course, if you would rather not come to the school, nobody will force you -"_

_"I'd like to see them try," sneered Riddle_

_"Hogwarts," Dumbledore went on, as though he had not heard Riddle's last words, "is a school for people with special abilities -"_

_"I'm not mad!"_

_"I know that you are not mad. Hogwarts is not a school for mad people. It is a school of magic."_

_There was silence. Riddle had frozen, his face expressionless, but his eyes were flickering back and forth between each of Dumbledore's, as though trying to catch one of them lying._

_"Magic?" he repeated in a whisper._

_"That's right," said Dumbledore._

_"It's … it's magic, what I can do?"_

_"What is it that you can do?"_

_"All sorts," breathed Riddle. A flush of excitement was rising up his neck into his hollow cheeks; he looked fevered. "I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want them to do, without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want to."_

_His legs were trembling. He stumbled forwards and sat down on the bed again, staring at his hands, his head bowed as though in prayer._

_"I knew I was different," He whispered to his own quivering fingers. "I knew I was special. Always, I knew there was something."_

_"Well, you were quite right," said Dumbledore, who was no longer smiling, but watching Riddle intently "You are a wizard."_

_Riddle lifted his head. His face was transfigured: there was a wild happiness upon it, yet for some reason, it did not make him better-looking; on the contrary, his finely carved features seemed somehow rougher, his expression almost bestial._

_"Are you a wizard too?"_

_"Yes, I am."_

_"Prove it," said Riddle at once, in the same commanding tone he had used when he had said 'tell the truth.'_

_Dumbledore raised his eyebrows._

_"If, as I take it, you are accepting your place at Hogwarts -"_

_"Of course I am!"_

_"Then you will address me as 'Professor' or 'Sir'."_

_Riddle's expression hardened for the most fleeting moment before he said, in an unrecognisably polite voice, "I'm sorry, sir. I meant - please, Professor, could you show me -?"_

_Severus would have thought Dumbledore would refuse, he saw so much of the Dark Lord that he worked for, even at such a young age. He thought law-abiding Dumbledore would tell Riddle that there would be plenty of time for demonstrations at Hogwarts and that they were currently in a building full of muggles and must be cautious, to his surprise, however Dumbledore drew his wand from an inside pocket of his suit jacket, pointed it at the shabby wardrobe in the corner and gave the wand a casual flick._

_The wardrobe burst into flames._

_Riddle jumped to his feet. Severus could hardly blame him for howling in shock and rage; all his worldly possessions must have been in there; but even as Riddle rounded on Dumbledore the flames vanished, leaving the wardrobe completely undamaged._

_Riddle stared from the wardrobe to Dumbledore, then, his expression greedy, he pointed at the wand._

_"Where can I get one of them?"_

_"All in good time," said Dumbledore. "I think there is something trying to get out of your wardrobe."_

_And sure enough, a faint rattling could be heard from inside it. For the first time, Riddle looked frightened._

_"Open the door," said Dumbledore._

_Riddle hesitated, then crossed the room and threw open the wardrobe door. On the topmost shelf, above a rail of threadbare clothes, a small cardboard box was shaking and rattling as though there were several frantic mice trapped inside it._

_"Take it out," said Dumbledore._

_Riddle took down the quaking box. He looked unnerved._

_"Is there anything in that box that you ought not to have?" asked Dumbledore._

_Riddle threw Dumbledore a long clear, calculating look._

_"Yes, I suppose so, sir," he said finally, in an expressionless voice._

_"Open it," said Dumbledore._

_Riddle took off the lid and tipped the contents on to his bed without looking at them. Severus would have guessed there would be something more interesting, what he saw was a mess of small, everyday objects; a yo-yo, a silver thimble and a tarnished mouth-organ amongst them. Once free of the box they stopped quivering and lay quite still upon the thin blankets._

_"You will return them to their owners with your apologies," said Dumbledore calmly, putting his wand back into his jacket. "I shall know whether it has been done. And be warned: thieving is not tolerated at Hogwarts."_

_Riddle did not look remotely abashed; he was still staring coldly and appraisingly at Dumbledore. At last, he said in a colourless voice, "Yes, sir."_

_"At Hogwarts," Dumbledore went on, "we teach you not only to use magic but to control it. You have - inadvertently, I am sure - been using your powers in a way that is neither taught nor tolerated at our school. You are not the first, nor will you be the last, to allow your magic to run away with you. But you should know that Hogwarts can expel students, and the Ministry of Magic - yes, there is a Ministry - will punish lawbreaker still more severely. All new wizards must accept that, in entering our world, they abide by our laws."_

_"Yes, sir," said Riddle again._

_It was impossible to tell what he was thinking; his face remained quite blank as he put the little cache of stolen objects back into the cardboard box. When he had finished he turned to Dumbledore and said boldly, "I haven't got any money."_

_"That is easily remedied," said Dumbledore, drawing a leather money-pouch from his pocket. "There is a fund at Hogwarts for those who require assistance to buy books and robes. You might have to buy some of your spell books and so on second-hand, but-"_

_"Where do you buy spellbooks?" interrupted Riddle, who had taken the heavy money bag without thanking Dumbledore, and was now examining a fat gold Galleon._

_"In Diagon Alley," said Dumbledore. "I have your list of books and school equipment with me. I can help you find everything -"_

_"You're coming with me?" asked Riddle, looking up._

_"Certainly, if you -"_

_"I don't need you," said Riddle. "I'm used to doing things for myself, I go round London all the time. How do you get to this Diagon Alley - sir?" He added, catching Dumbledore's eye._

_Severus only thought that if it were him he would certainly insist on accompanying the child. But once again Dumbledore did not do what Severus would have thought, he simply handed over the envelope containing his list of equipment, and, after telling Riddle exactly how to get to the Leaky Cauldron from the orphanage, he said, 'You will be able to see it, although Muggles around you - non - magical people, that is - will not. Ask for Tom the barman - easy enough to remember, as he shares your name -"_

_Riddle gave an irritable twitch, as though trying to displace an irksome fly._

_"You dislike the name 'Tom'?"_

_"There are a lot of Toms," muttered Riddle. Then, as though he could not suppress the question, as though it burst from him in spite of himself, he asked, "Was my father a wizard? He was called Tom Riddle too, they've told me."_

_"I'm afraid I don't know," said Dumbledore, his voice gentle._

_"My mother can't have been magic, or she wouldn't have died," said Riddle, more to himself than Dumbledore. "It must have been him. So - when I've got all my stuff - when do I come to this Hogwarts?"_

_"All the details are on the second piece of parchment in your envelope," said Dumbledore. "You will leave from King's Cross Station on the fist of September. There is a train ticket in there, too."_

_Riddle nodded. Dumbledore got to his feet and held out his hand again. Taking it, Riddle said, "I can speak to snakes. I found out when we've been to the country on trips - they find me, they whisper to me. Is that normal for a wizard?"_

_Severus saw what the child had done, he had withheld this last mention of power, the strangest power until the end, he was determined to impress._

_"It is unusual," said Dumbledore, after a moment's hesitation, "but not unheard of."_

_His tone was casual but his eyes moved curiously over Riddle's face. They stood for a moment, man and boy, staring at each other. Then the handshake was broken; Dumbledore was at the door._

_"Goodbye, Tom. I shall see you at Hogwarts."_

Soon after Severus found himself back in the circular Headmasters office as before. Albus moved behind his desk and Severus took a seat in front of it, staring at the headmaster, awaiting him to say something about the strange memory they had just witnessed. Silence descended on the office for some time. It was Severus that broke it.

"Did you know then?" He asked plainly

"Did I know I had just met the most dangerous Dark wizard of all time?" He said. "No, I have no idea of what he would grow to become. I was, however, intrigued by him. I returned to Hogwarts with the intention to keep a close eye on him, something I would have done anyway with him being alone and friendless, but which, already, I felt I ought to do for others' sake as much as his."

"His powers seem to be exceedingly developed" He paused, "Lily and myself had gained much control over what we were able to do prior to Hogwarts, but not to that extent, and nowhere near as ominous in nature, though I can't deny I already at that age had a taste of darker magic." He trailed off, the earlier shame that he spoke of flared within him.

"What I found most ominous was that he did not use the typical experiments that most young wizards attempt, he had already begun to use it against other people, to frighten, to punish, to control. The little stories of the strangled rabbit and the young boy and girl he lured into a cave were most suggestive… _I can make them hurt if I want to…"_

"Do we have any inclination as to what he had done to the children?" he whispered, not really sure he wanted to know.

"You didn't seem surprised by the Parselmouth?"

"It was something I was already aware of"

"A rare ability, and one supposedly connected with the Dark Arts, although, there are many Parselmouths amongst the great and good too, this did not concern me as much as his obvious instincts for cruelty, secrecy and dominion."

"Indeed… was there anything in particular that you needed me to understand from this? Or simply so I would understand why you were the only one he ever feared?" He smirked at the elder wizard.

"Yes there are certain features that I would like you to pay close attention to, I feel that they have great bearing on the matters we have been discussing of late. Firstly, you noticed his reaction when I mentioned another shared his first name… Tom?"

"Indeed, he always wanted to be… singular, not tied to another or able to be compared, we were to understand that he _was and is_ the greatest wizard, not… ordinary"

"And this was the purpose behind shedding that name, creating the mask, Lord Voldemort. You notice I trust that he was highly self-sufficient, secretive and apparently, friendless?"

"Yes… He is much the same, we are not friends, Death Eaters that is, we are slaves to his whims, whatever others might say." His voice was now emotionless, cold, distancing.

"You noticed… the trophies?"

"Ah… yes, the significance?"

"These were taken from victims of his bullying behaviour, souvenirs, if you will, of particularly unpleasant bits of magic. But for now, that is all, I am sure that you need to get back in time for Harry's bedtime" His eyes twinkled slightly

"No…I've missed that," he said as he glanced at his watch, "And I do hope he's not awake… as that would mean a temper tantrum, I shall no doubt see him at 1 am when the monster under the bed wakes him" He rolled his eyes somewhat as Albus' warm smile grew.

"Monster under the bed?"

"Imaginary… some stupid boy from his nursery called Dean introduced the idea" He shook his head as he headed for the floo, "He's come and woke me every night since!"


	13. Happy Fourth Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So what are you two sat in here gossiping about"
> 
> "Oh, usually Lily's sex life if I'm honest!" Alice joked, "Want the details?" She wrangled her eyebrows.
> 
> "erm… Severus details… I don't know… is it interesting?" He chuckled, "Is there anything I can use against him?" He smiled
> 
> "I'm afraid I only get very positive reports!" She looked disappointed,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for continuing to read and I'm sorry about the wait, I have been taking part in a writing competition and it's eating up my time.

Chapter 15 - Harry's Birthday

Severus sat there at his desk staring at the two present's that he had got for Harry's birthday. One was just a regular gift, crayons, paper, sticky things. Harry had taken to bringing artwork home from nursery every day. He would like the gift. The other was a snow globe and inside was a castle, a perfect replica of Hogwarts, the lake included, the giant squid could even be seen bobbing in and out of the water. Snow fell magically. There was something a little more precious in this one though. The water was not clear, nor did it look completely like water, it was foggy looking. Severus put the wand to his temple and focused pulling out more tendrils from his brain and adding them to the snow globe. Testing his little invention, he shook the globe, the castle disappeared and there in the depths of the globe was Harry and Severus, Harry had been crying, clearly, and there was a tear running down his own face;

_"'Why you crying if you're happy… Daddy' he questioned, smiling as he said the final word_

_'Sometimes we are so happy we need to cry because there is just too much happy'"_

He knew there may well come a time where Harry would doubt him. He knew that one day Harry may hear of his past, and hate him. He knew that one day Severus may have to choose to hurt Harry more than anything, just to keep him safe. This birthday present was going to be a safeguard for Harry. He added memories that would show Harry that no matter what happens, his Daddy was always on his side. He knew he could add more memories that were significant as he got older, as it got closer to that time, but for now, it was some of the most favourite memories that he and Harry had shared. He couldn't wait to give it to him, though this one would need explaining, Harry needed to know if he ever doubted Severus, he needed to look at the snow globe, if Severus ever did anything that Harry didn't understand, the globe would help him understand, his Daddy lies, he lies only to keep Harry safe.

Lily had spent a great deal of time planning Harry's birthday party. There were a lot of children coming. Neville obviously, and so that they could have a more magical birthday party, now Harry was much more aware, they invited children from others that they knew. Mainly the Weasley children, as Remus and Arthur were now good friends, the older ginger-haired wizard had suggested introducing Harry to his younger children. As it turned out the older boys really wanted to come too, and so the entire Weasley troupe would be coming. Their youngest daughter was only three and therefore bringing her friend Luna, Arthur also recommended inviting Cedric Diggory, he was a bit older, but lived in the area and knew his boys well. Severus would need to be in disguise, and so this led to an explanation for Harry.

Harry was dressed ready and bouncing around his room like a jackrabbit. Severus walked in, not looking very like Severus at all. They had decided against Polyjuice potion, this would mean that someone would not be able to attend the party, and to enable Harry to have friends round more, they devised a more unique and foolproof disguise. His hair was now a mousy brown, shorter and a tad wavy, Severus thought that this was a tad unnecessary, he no longer had the hooked nose, it was ever so slightly smaller, his face was no longer sallow in complexion and he had grey eyes, rather than the black before. Along with a change of clothes, Severus looked nothing like he had before. Harry stopped and looked the stranger… he was puzzled.

"Who are you?" He asked suspiciously

"Harry it's me" Severus replied, Harry's eyes widened.

"MUMMY!" He shouted, "MUMMY HELP!" he shouted, Severus, smiled, a good disguise. Lily was soon at the door, not in the least bit concerned by the presence of the strange man. "Mummy, this strange man is here and he stole Daddy's voice!" Harry had a very cross expression on his face. Lily laughed lightly.

"Harry, we have disguised your Daddy, watch" She paused removing her wand, "Finite Incantatem" with a light flick of her wand, a shimmer appeared around the strange man, and before Harry knew it, his Dad was there in his room, smiling down at him.

"Daddy?" He asked suspiciously, he scooted onto his bed, watching warily. Severus came and sat down on the bed next to Harry holding a box wrapped in dark green paper.

"Do you want it?" Severus asked

"Mummy… this is definitely daddy?" He asked, still eying his father warily.

"Yes Harry, he needs to explain somethings to you ok" She smiled and left Harry tearing the paper of his birthday present. He opened the box to find the globe, a beautiful snow globe with Hogwarts inside it.

"What is it?" He asked innocently

"It's a snow globe, and this is Hogwarts, where I work" He took the globe and held it up so Harry could see the snow falling. "But it's also got something special inside it" He smiled. "It's magic" he whispered

"Really! How do I see the magic?"

"You shake it" he handed the globe back and Harry shook it vigorously, the foggy water moved and swirled hiding Hogwarts and then cleared showing a memory, and in the memory, Harry was very small;

_"Harry Potter what a rotter!" His Uncle Remus said in a sing-song voice gently tugging playfully at the wand that he had managed to get his hands on. Harry gave a tug and the wand spewed out puffs of golden smoke_

_"Harry! That's your first spell harry… well done" His mother cooed at her son's accidental magic the wand removed from his hand, she sent another flow of bubbles in his direction, and Harry no longer content with bubble's started to cry, his hands grasping for the rather fun looking stick!_

_It was in this moment that Severus walked in. The fire blazed green in the kitchen and there he stood, he heard the commotion in the living room and followed. Severus he walked in purposefully. He watched as the child cried trying to clutch his mother's wand._

_"Harry … no!" Mummy repeated, "Mummy's wand is not Harry's toy!" she spoke in a firm yet light voice. Harry continued to grasp paying no attention to the tall dark man. Severus watched the whole exchange as his Uncle Remus tried to distract him with colourful smokes and more bubbles, it did until Harry then made a grasp for his Uncle's wand._

_"Severus!" His mother beamed, his mum seemed really happy to see him, however with that Severus walked out of the living room and out of the back door. His mummy looked at Uncle Remus, she was sad._

_"It'll be ok Lil," His uncle affectionately pulled her into a hug around Harry, who was still making grasps for the wands, "He's hurting, it takes time, I'm impressed that he came" Uncle Remus reassured her, watching Harry thought that his uncle looked a little annoyed. Then surprisingly Severus, his Daddy, walked back into the living room holding a robust twig, it had all the leaves removed and there were no sharp edges unless you counted the pointy end, which was so thin it bent at the slightest pressure. He walked over to Harry and gave the twig a little swish, Bubbles began erupting from the little twig. Harry rewarded Severus with a giggle and reached out for the twig._

_"Harry can have his own special wand" His daddy spoke, his voice wasn't playful but it had a slight warmth, barely noticeable, but Harry noticed right away. Uncle Remus and his mummy watched they looked a bit shocked, which surprised Harry watching the memory, his Daddy was always lovely. A slight smile played out on his Daddy's face, Harry shaking the wand in his little fist, bubbles spewing everywhere. "I got your last owl… you said Harry had a temperature and not sleeping, I just came to drop off a few little potions you might find useful, delicate for reducing fever and aiding sleep, just in case, or maybe if he isn't well again…" He Daddy trailed off and placed some vials on the side table, all neatly labelled in his own hand._

_"Th- Thank you" His mummy smiled at his Daddy, but not the way that Harry was used to seeing them smile at each other now, it was a smile that stopped his Daddy in his tracks. Harry recognised that, his Daddy always paid close attention to Mummy._

"You're most welcome, Lily." his smile was more like the one Harry was used to now, "I do have to go" his Dad glanced at the TV giving it a bemused look, turned and exited by the floo all over again. Daddy never liked the TV Harry thought as the castle reappeared.

"What is that?" Harry asked amazed.

"It's a memory, all my favourite memories of me and you, that wand was my first present to you" Severus smiled, "I was a bit more grumpy then"

"Really!" Harry giggled, Severus, nodded, smiling.

"Harry, I have given this to you for a reason" He looked at the little boy, he was so innocent, and yet, today he had taken a small piece of that way, introduce him to the war that the family was still caught up in. All because he couldn't be a Daddy out in the open. "Do you remember the Naughty man I told you about?" He asked softly. Harry nodded, his face sad now.

"The one that took my daddy?" He asked in a whisper.

"Yes," Severus paused, wondering how he would be able to explain this. "Harry, right now that man is gone, but one day, he's going to come back" Harry's eye's widened in fear, "It's ok" Severus smiled and pulled Harry on to his knee, "Now when he was here last time, I pretended to work for him, do you know what I mean by 'pretend' Harry?" Harry had a confused look

"Not really" his face downcast

"Like when you and Dean play pirates, you're not really pirates are you?"

"No… it's a game!" Harry smiled now.

"Well, that's what I do, and I do it to keep people safe from the naughty man"

"How does that keep people safe?" Harry asked

"Well, cause he believes I'm on his side, he tells me what he's going to do, sometimes, and then I can sneaky tell Albus and Mummy, and they can help protect people, or make a plan to stop the naughty man… do you understand?" He asked gently, Harry sat there thinking.

"I think so, Did you help mummy to be safe from the Naughty man?" Harry asked.

"Yes, I tried to keep your Daddy safe too, see I knew he was coming, and we put spells on the house to keep you all hidden, but someone told the naughty man when I found out, I went straight to your mummy and daddy to help them keep you safe."

"OK," Harry nodded, understanding.

"Now Harry because of this, I have to be a 'secret daddy' do you understand?"

"You're my daddy still!" He asked

"Yes… it's just a secret, and we only tell people we trust completely!" Severus stressed the point. "Do you know why?"

"Because the Naughty man wouldn't tell you things if knowed that you was my daddy?" He asked.

"Exactly, and I want to make sure you are one hundred percent safe!" He paused, "So, I, mummy and both your uncles made a plan, they made some spells so I don't look like me, that way I can pretend to be someone else when there are other people about"

"So we are playing that you're only my daddy when you look like the other man?" Harry asked looking confused

"Yes, unless it's just me, you, mummy, Siri and Emus" He smiled, Harry smiled back.

"Ok Daddy" He hugged him around the neck tightly.

"There's another reason for the present" He looked at Harry, sadness in his eyes. "Now, I am very good at pretending, and sometimes I might be so good at pretending it might make you upset" He paused, "And it would make me upset to be like that Harry, I need you to know that" Harry nodded, he looked a bit worried. "So this present is for then, I will fill it with more memories, things that we do together, things that I might have done on my own, and when you get worried, you can look at this and remember just how much I love you!" He pulled Harry close, "Harry, I love you more than anything, and I will do anything, absolutely anything to keep you safe!" Harry hugged him back tightly.

"Daddy, can you put a memory of this in… in case I forget?"

"Of course, I think it's an important one" With that he put the wand tip to his temple and focused, as he pulled out the silver thread, he placed the tip of his wand to the glass globe and the tip slipped in, depositing the memory. Harry and Severus snuggled on his bed for a while waiting for when all the children would turn up and they would have to start to play pretend.

* * *

As the morning wore on, soon there were children arriving. Severus donned his disguise and Harry has not met some of the children before was glued to either his side or his mums' side. The Weasley's were definitely a rowdy bunch. Harry however soon livened up once Bill and Charlie introduced themselves and wished him a Happy Birthday. Soon there were children running around playing games, Bill and Charlie seemed to thoroughly it. Running the children ragged, the adults had fairly little to do. Percy, in particular, was helpful, after being gently told by his father to help with the younger children, he had taken on the authoritative role, though Bill and Charlie mostly ignored him.

Before long it was time for presents. The Weasley's had each made Harry a card, and he got the present of a knitted jumper and a lovely large tin of fudge, homemade of course. Harry loved the jumper and decided to put it on right away, it was red and gold stripes.

"I think you're making a bit of an assumption with that jumper?" Severus noted, though the Weasley's didn't know it was Severus, he explained that he had been in Slytherin, and thought Harry could be in that house if he chose.

"You realise, you're going up against a Gryffindor mum, two Gryffindor uncles, and his dad was a Gryffindor, not to mention most of the family friends... Gryffindor!" Sirius poked in, "If you're not careful, we might be able to get The Sorting Hat to change his mind about you!" He laughed

"Never!" Severus smiled.

After this there were many other presents, Remus and Sirius got Harry a box filled with muggle practice jokes. Remus and Sirius said that his dad had loved playing pranks and thought maybe Harry would like it too. Severus rolled his eyes. There was a wide range of practical jokes that he would be able to play; Whoopee Cushion, an injured finger joke, it was a bandage that had fake blood with a nail coming out of each side, even a substance that looked like fake poo! Harry thought it was great.

"Is that a muggle toy?!" Arthur asked

"Yes" replied Remus, "Harry goes to a muggle nursery and we try and stay under the radar as much as possible, he only really get's muggle toys"

"I have magic toys too! I just don't talk about them or take them to school" Harry said indignantly, "And I go to school Remus, not nursery, the nursery is for the babies!"

"Really… what toys you got Harry?" The youngest boy asked, Ron.

"I have a wand! And it is my best toy EVER!" He said proudly.

"Harry you don't have a wand" Sirius put in

"I do! I promise… I'm gonna go get it" and with that Harry went running off.

"He doesn't still have that twig you gave him?" Sirius asked Severus

"Apparently… what did you get him that year? Oh, yea… stories… that he never reads!" Severus smirked

"A twig!"

"That he kept for 3 years!"

"But … it's a twig!" They bickered for a few moments, much the amusement of the other adults, until Harry ran back down the stairs.

"See!" He shouted holding up an old twig proudly. The other children looked at him confused.

"Harry… it doesn't look like a wand?" Percy said unsympathetically.

"IT IS!" He squealed, "Watch" and he waved the wand and golden snitches flew from the end, Harry had a look of smug satisfaction.

"What else does it do?" Ron asked, innocently

"I'm afraid it doesn't do … anything else, not unless I put a new spell on it!" the disguised Severus admitted. Harry's face fell. "I am sorry Harry, but that isn't, in fact, a wand! I made it, from a twig and put a few clever spells on it"

"It has done other things though! It's done lots of different things!" Harry added desperately

"I know… I changed what it did from time to time!" Harry looked crestfallen.

"That's mean!" Harry replied sadly, his head low.

"That's still a great toy, I didn't have anything like a wand until I was 11!" Said Bill helpfully, "But if you're still upset, maybe we could help you get your own back, with your joke set?" He smiled and Harry suddenly cheered up. It was then that Remus taught Harry how to use the Whoopee cushion.

"See Harry, it will sound like your Daddy is making trumpy noises" Harry giggled, testing out the joke. "But if you're going to do, you need to be very sneaky, so that he doesn't know that it's there." Remus smiled. Harry then spent the rest of the afternoon with the Weasley brothers playing with his set.

* * *

Lily and Alice sat in the kitchen most of the afternoon, leaving the other adults in the living room, the children were running and playing outside. Frank's absence was noticed by all, and Alice looked drained.

"Honestly Lily, I just can't take it anymore, he's drinking more and more, thankfully he is a sleepy drunk." She said as Lily handed her a glass of red. "Not that I can say anything, It's got to the point where I need a glass at the end of the day."

"Have you talked any more?"

"We do, sometimes, but he has no interest in getting any help, I get that he's depressed… but it's been too long now. I'm there for Neville, that's it."

"You look… I'm sorry to say, but you look shit!"

"Lily, you don't know the half of it" She whispered.

"How is he with Neville though?" Lily looked concerned, "He's ok with him right?"

"Yea… he is now. But that comes from a huge row we had months ago, I said if he didn't put things right with Neville then I would go, and I would have, one wrong step and I'm gone Lily, It's his only saving grace"

"Do you think it's still the magic? Or has it gone beyond that?"

"I have no idea anymore, Neville hasn't shown any sign of magic yet, despite all his family trying to force it out of him, but sometimes I wonder if Neville senses it, and I'm worried that when it happens, Frank will just be jealous"

"Surely not?" Lily questioned.

"You have no idea Lily," She paused, "If practising the few small spells I can do will help me regain some of my magic, I won't ever find out, I can't handle the looks, glares, the attitude whenever I use them, it's not worth the heartache."

"Alice, are you sure you can live like this?"

"Honestly, I don't know" With that Remus walked into the room.

"You have wine! Share!" He smiled at the pair of them, Lily poured him a glass. "So what are you two sat in here gossiping about"

"Oh, usually Lily's sex life if I'm honest!" Alice joked, "Want the details?" She wrangled her eyebrows.

"erm… Severus details… I don't know… is it interesting?" He chuckled, "Is there anything I can use against him?" He smiled

"I'm afraid I only get very positive reports!" She looked disappointed, "Though I have heard he is quite the romantic! I have the details, but Lily practically made me take the unbreakable vow to keep me silent!"

"Severus… Romantic!" He looked at her sceptically, "I can't believe that… at least not without details!"

"Well you were sworn to secrecy Alice, Sev would kill me if he knew I told you that particular little nugget!" Lily butted in

"There are other nuggets, I presume you are privy to his cooking skills?" Remus nodded, "Apparently he uses that to woe his lady all the time!" She sighed, "Frank never cooks for me, the lazy git!" She laughed

"How is Frank?" Remus asked

"He's a grumpy old git at the moment, nothing else to say" then changing the subject, "On a Severus note, did you know" she sidled over to Remus and spoke in his ear, "Apparently he's _very_ good with his hands!"

"NO! EW! Alice that… too much information!" Remus laughed

"What's too much information" And lo and behold it was Severus, still in his disguise of course.

"I'm just sharing some of the more impressive titbits Lily has told me about you, some titbits are quite impressive!" She wangled her eyebrows suggestively again.

"Do you tell her everything?" Severus asked, Lily smiled guiltily.

"Severus, I have a grumpy husband that doesn't talk to me, your love life is keeping me sane… I even know about some of the more romantic things that you have done, though I am sworn to secrecy… It's juicy though Ream"

"Ream?" Severus laughed

"Yes, Ream, and if you're not nice… I will share things you don't want me too, for example, what their first fight was about!" She smiled.

"Wait… That I would love to hear!" Remus interjected

"Alice… want a top up of that wine!" Severus offered in his most gentlemanly tone.

"Oh, go on then Sev!" She smiled

"Can't we talk about someone else's love life for a change?" Lily begged.

"You can't talk about mine" Remus smiled, "It's non-existent"

"And mine's tragically depressing" Alice added

"I guess that kind of leaves Lily and Severus" Remus smiled

"Well it's painfully dull at the moment" Severus replied,

"Hay!" Lily interjected, smacking his arm lightly,

"I re-phrase, it's beautifully dull, Lily goes to St Mungo's all day, I look after Harry, I lesson plan in the evening, Lily looks after Harry, the rest of the time we sleep as Harry has taken the 'monster under the bed' thing far too seriously and we are woken at all hours!" He paused, "If that's exciting, I really pity you both" Lily just laughed.

"What about Sirius' love life… I bet that's interesting" Alice asked

"So hard to keep track… who is it this week? Sarah?" Severus put in,

"No that was a few weeks ago, now it's that woman from the apothecary right?" Remus added.

"Oh yea… what's her name?" Lily added, "Why can't he just pick one, we learn her name and then just stick with it!"

"Apparently it's the thrill of the case…"

"Thrill of the chase is severely over-rated" Severus smiled at Lily.

The four of them laughed and joked the evening through. Lily couldn't help but notice just how happy Alice looked. Remus' easy sense of humour and gentlemanly manners brought a light back to her that Lily hadn't seen for a while. Remus seemed happy too. Lily dearly hoped that Frank was here to see just what he was missing, and just how close he was to losing everything.

* * *

Remus and Severus had not been able to get time to look at his notes on the latest batch of Wolfsbane, however, it was clear that it had worked, and that Remus had been in a great deal less pain. Sirius had already informed as much. His notes were very simplistic, saying that actually, Remus was quite sedated and not very fun to be with. He looked physically the same as he usually did when he had transformed, though threw in for Remus' benefit no doubt, that his wolf-form was starting to grey. However today they finally set aside some time.

"Would you say the pain relief is sorted or just better?" Severus asked

"No, it's sorted I think, if I feel any pain, I don't even remember it, like I say, I'm calm and relaxed, and I'm there, to a certain extent, but everything is foggy"

"Do you recall any urges?" Severus asked, making notes.

"Like?"

"If I was there and maybe took some blood whilst you were in your wolf form are you likely to try and have me for supper?" He smiled, Remus laughed heartily.

"I doubt it, but I couldn't say one hundred percent"

"Ok… I need to find a way of measuring what ingredients are affecting you 'fogginess'" He mused, "I wanted to use blood sample, but I am not so sure what I am looking for, I think I will analyse the ingredients separately and their effects on their own, and see what I get from that"

"Do you have any ideas?"

"Yes, not ground breaking, I was thinking of using 'Aconitum lycoctonum' instead of 'Aconitum vulparia' They are two differing species of the Aconite plant, both referred to as 'Wolfs-bane' only Vulparia is used usually, I think it's safe enough change, but I don't want to chance it without testing"

"So next month?" Remus asked.

"I think we stay with this potion until I get an idea on what causes you to be so foggy" Severus responded, "It might take some time, I have this book to get from Malfoy Manor and I still need to figure out how to get the book to give of the right aura"

"Any luck with confirming that it's Horcruxes before you get the book?" Remus asked, he had been concerned about this too.

"No, but Albus said he had an important memory to get his hands on, problem is the person we need it from is rather unwilling"

"Ah… That's why Lily is going out for a meal with o' Horace Slughorn!" He laughed, "I wondered what an earth convinced her"

"She never liked the idea of the Slug Club, but I always got the impression she liked Horace?" Severus added.

"Yea, but you know what he's like for famous wizards, she doesn't want him near Harry" They mused together for sometime and began to categorise the ingredients that they would be looking into. Remus would help, but really they both knew that Severus or Lily would have to check it all, Remus did after all suck at potions!

* * *

Lily had wasted no time in arranging to meet her old professor. Horace Slughorn had been one of her favourites, just as much as she had been one of his. She first paid a visit to Hogsmeade, picking up what she knew was his favourite, crystallised pineapple. She had planned to meet him for lunch in small inn near Godrics Hollow, it was again one of his favourites, but somewhere Lily loathed to go, the place held so many memories and just around the corner was the house that she and James had lived in. She knew getting too close would reveal the memorial to James, she had purposefully not seen it yet, she couldn't bare it, after all, having Severus made her happy, but it didn't heal the hurt of James' passing.

She apparated and found herself around the corner from the little church, the church that was just across from the cottage that she used to call home. She turned walking in the opposite direction from the house, towards small quaint in. It had white washed walls and a thatched roof, outside there were wooden tables and chairs, in the centre of each were rustic jugs that overflowed with meadow flowers, the scent it created brought memories of summer evenings with James, sitting watching the sunset, her hands guarding the large pregnant bump she had had. She made her way inside where the it was much warmer, the fire roared all year round, and yet it was always a comfortable temperature. Her old potions teacher sat in a table in the corner, he smiled as he saw her, waving, a drink was already waiting for her, he remembered her old favourite too, though she had since grown out of her love of butterbeer.

"Lily!" He got up as she approached and enveloped her in a hug. "How are you my darling!"

"Professor!" She smiled. "I am doing well, how are you?"

"Call me Horace, it's been a number of years since you were in my class!" He pulled a large comfy chair out for her to sit. "I dare say you have grown out of you love of Butterbeer, but I didn't know a current favourite, its been that long!"

"I haven't had it in years" she smiled sipping the drink that was in front of her, "I assume these are still a favourite?" she handed over the honeydukes pineapple. She smiled knowingly

"Oh you do spoil an old professor!" He pulled the box towards himself greedily. He was definitely one for his creature comforts. "And what are you up to these days? I know you were an instrumental part of the Order when you left school"

"Yes, me and James were," she paused, "These days I am training to work at St Mungo's, I want to specialise in attacks by magical creatures, particularly looking at Werewolf bites" she smiled.

"Well I daresay your potions expertise would suit you well there, have you heard that Damocles has invented a potion that reduces the symptoms!" He expressed excitedly, "I imagine that would have taken quite some time to achieve!"

"I have, I have had some help mastering it actually, you remember Remus Lupin?"

"Ah yes, Mr Lupin, not very good in the potions department was he?"

"No, and yet he's a great wizard, however his, condition, prevents him getting work, and we are hoping that having him permanently on the Wolfsbane potion will help him get a job more suited to his talents, he's excellent at Defence" she smiled sadly, "It's all the bloody prejudice" she shook her head.

"Yes, he got outstanding in most other subjects, just not potions" He smiled, "So how do you find St Mungo's?"

"Oh, I love it, I have a lot of work to do and thankfully I have a lot of help with Harry"

"I hear you Mr Snape changed sides in the war… worked as a spy" he looked at her knowingly, "I know you two were always close, at least until the end of your 5th year, did you two ever manage to patch things up?" he looked at her hopefully, "I always hoped he would drop all his silly idea's, I could always tell he adored you, my two best students!"

"I'm afraid not… I don't know that he is willing to approach me" she attempted to look sad, "Or maybe, he isn't as changed as we all believe, but I think too much was said between us"

"Pity, pity" he shook his head sadly, "I always thought it would have been a good match, but Mr Potter was a good choice too" he paused, a look helplessness on his face, "I am sorry Lily, I should not have been so thoughtless!"

"No! I am able to remember the good times now, its hard sometimes" she paused, wondering how to turn the conversation the way she wanted.

"And how is young Harry? It's a shame you couldn't bring him, i'm sure he's such a sweet child" and she thought she had an opening.

"Harry is marvellous, he truly makes everything so worthwhile. But we do worry…" she trailed off, leaving enough unsaid, letting her genuine worry show on her face

"Harry is safe… isn't he?" Horace's own worry showed now

"It's just that, Albus doesn't think ' _he's'_ really gone, that he survived somehow, and if he came back, then Harry would be in so much danger, we already have to worry about Death Eaters that think Harry's death will bring _'him'_ back," saying it out loud, the truth being in the open, she tried to contain herself, she knew that Severus had been right, that a tear or two would soften the old professor up, but she couldn't bare to use her genuine grief and worry like that.

"But how could he still be…" he was unable to finish

"I have been researching, I need to find out how he did it, I need to protect my Harry" she whispered, "We suspect-" she cut herself off and looked behind her, "I can't say it Horace" her lips trembled, the horror of what had potentially been done to attain his immortality.

His face was white as a sheet, she could see that he knew the word, she knew she was so close, and yet, the shame on his face, she was so very far away from her goal at the same time. "Albus sent you… didn't he?" he whispered, he looked in her eyes, the shame was still there, along with a deep sadness and regret.

"Please Horace!" She begged, "I just want to protect my son!" a tear slipped out, pure desperation crept into her voice. The man stood up.

"I am sorry Lily, but I know nothing more, I cannot help you!" and with that he left Lily in the inn alone, her fear and worry multiplying, she had failed to get the most important memory, the one that would help them know for sure what he had done, and Harry needed that memory, they needed it for Harry to survive.

* * *

"Harry, it's bath time, go up to mummy now" Severus spoke a little exasperated, they had been trying to get things ready for another impending Order meeting. Harry adamant that he wanted to stay up.

"But I wanna stay up and say hello to everyone" Harry whined.

"Have your bath, and _maybe_ , you can stay up to say hello" He ordered as he began to put enchantments on the room, making it larger than it was, it would now fit the Order quite comfortably.

"If you promise!" He whined some more

"Harry" Severus said sternly and looked at Harry, who sulked and turn to go upstairs, "smart boy" He continued with his task, and soon the room was much larger, their were chairs scattered around the room, and a coffee table laden with a steaming teapot, milk, sugar and a large supply of cups, along with a delicious array of biscuits.

When Harry finally came down, almost everyone was already here. Albus sat in Severus' chair, Moody on a hardback chair opposite, Hagrid took up most of the couch, with Emmeline Vance, a pretty witch with dark chocolatey eyes and glossy brown hair, sat in the small space that was left, Remus, Sirius and Mrs Figg sat in chairs beside Moody, Severus sat in a new small arm chair beside Albus. Kingsley and Aberforth sat close to the table with the assortment of biscuits. Lily walked to the last available chair and Harry stood beside the arm chair where Severus sat with a confused look on his face. He looked over at Albus sat in the other chair.

"Why you sat in my Daddy's chair?" He asked Albus rather sternly. There were slightly amused expressions on some face, confused expressions on others.

"I'm very sorry Harry, I didn't know it was your Daddy's chair" He smiled,

"Harry, I don't think it matters for today" Severus whispered to Harry. "Can I help you?" He asked

"I wanna sit with you" Harry replied simply, Severus simply motioned for Harry to join him, he climbed up and nestled himself on Severus' lap, much to the surprise of a good portion of the room.

"I thought you wanted to meet everyone?" He asked

"I do… just from right here please" He smiled sweetly, "Who is everyone?" He wrapped his arms around Severus' neck.

"This is Albus Dumbledore," He said as he motioned to the man in the arm chair next to him, Harry giggled.

"That's a funny name!" Harry smiled, still giggling

"He is my boss Harry!"

"It is a funny name isn't it! Would you like a Lemon Sherbet?" Dumbledore looked at the little boy through his glasses, who looked hopefully up at Severus, who minutely shook his head.

"No" He said rather forlornly, "I just brushed my teefs," he looked up at Severus.

"I think your Daddy probably knows best" He smiled, "I did inform everyone before hand Severus, but many of them don't believe me!" As he spoke his eyes twinkled.

"Are you going to say hello? Shake his hand? We must remember our manners Harry" Severus looked at Harry, who nodded and got up.

"Hello Mr Dumbdore" Harry said holding out a hand, which Albus took and shook it gently.

"And there by the table, is Kingsley Shacklebolt, he's an Auror and Aberforth Dumbledore, that is Albus' brother" He paused to point to them in turn. Harry walked round and shook Kingsley's hand.

"Hello Mr Shacklebolt Sir," He looked at him curiously and then asked, "What is an oror?" Kingsley quickly explained his job of catching bad wizards. "Hello Mr Dumbdore" He smiled and again shook his hand.

"He's scary daddy" Harry whispered, pointing to Moody, the next wizard he would meet. There was a slight murmur running through the room as he spoke the D word.

"Well he's not, he catches bad wizards, just like Mr Kingsley, and he's very good at it" Severus replied

"You don't need introducing to Remus, Sirius or Mrs Figg do you?" Harry laughed shaking his head, "And then this lady next to where mummy is sat is Emmeline Vance"

"Hello" Harry smiled, feeling a little less nervous now.

"Hello Harry" She smiled widely, she held out a hand to her, and she shook it, Harry grinned, then ran back to Severus' chair.

"I think she's pretty" Harry whispered in Severus' ear. Severus shook his head, slightly amused.

"And last, but definitely not least, is Hagrid" He motioned to the huge giant to their other side. Harry snuggled right up to Severus. "If you don't want to say hello, maybe you should go to bed?" He suggested.

"It's ok! I can say hello!" He spoke urgently "Hello Mr Hagrid" Harry however looked petrified.

"'Elo Harry!" He beamed, "Las' time I saw you, you was only a baby!" Harry just stared.

"He's really big" He whispered

"Harry, Hagrid is a little bit like the BFG, from your story" Lily smiled.

"Big. Friendly. Giant!" Harry shouted and smiled. "It's nice to meet you Mr Hagrid!" and Harry jumped down and walked over to Hagrid to shake his hand, Hagrid took his hand and as he shook it, he managed to shake all of Harry. He wasn't afraid anymore he simply giggled.

"So Harry… what is Severus like as a Daddy?" Emmeline asked, "No offence Severus, but I never imagined you as the doting dad!" her voice was kindly, and clearly no offence was meant.

"He's a brilliant daddy!" Harry spoke up, he was now sat comfortably on Hagrid's knee

"Really… he's pretty scary!" Aberforth put in with a smile, Harry looked shocked.

"He's not scary!" He blurted out, "He's lovely" He looked at Hagrid, "What kind of things do they want to know?" He asked.

"Well, what is the best Daddy thing he does?" Hagrid asked

"Erm…" He thought, "He does lots of things, like he makes the best hot chocolate in the whole world! Even mummy can't make it like Daddy, He gives the best cuddles, but only to me and mummy, no one else, cause we're special" He paused, "Did you know he doesn't even give Uncle Remus a cuddle!" He spoke very matter of factly, "He's also the best wizard in the world!" He finished

"Harry" Severus interrupted, "I'm not the best!" Harry shook his head.

"Nope!" He said, he looked at Hagrid, "My daddy is the best cause he's the only one that can scare away the monster under my bed!" He smiled.

"See, we told you he was scary!" Aberforth added.

"But only to monsters! And specially not to Harry, I'm his favourite"

"Anyway… Bedtime I think Harry" Lily interjected, "It's already half and hour late"

"But Daddy said I could say hello!" He whimpered, "Pease! Five more minutes" He jumped down from Hagrid's lap and walked back to Severus and cuddled him tightly, "Pease pease, five more minutes" He looked up at Severus, his big green eyes were staring at the man adoringly, classic puppy dog eggs.

"What are you doing?" Severus asked, "Since when did you loose the ability to make the 'Luh' sound?" He stared down at the little boy.

"I'm trying to be really cute" He said simply, then kissed him on the cheek,

"Why?" He sniggered

"So you will let me stay up a bit with you" He looked innocently, from the other side of the room, Lily gave him a look, the 'Professor Snape' look. Severus restrained a smile.

"It's time for bed, Mrs Figg is going to do your story" He looked down at Harry, the smiled struggling to stay hidden "Ok" Harry had a look of abject fear on his face, his bottom lip fell out and he just shook his head.

"I don't want to, please" He begged, wrapping his arms around his neck, he had a vice grip, he continued to beg in his ear, "please, please, please don't make me" He whispered over and over.

"Is this about the monster?" He asked, Harry nodded, "There is no monster Harry, I have checked every night, it's just a bad dream" Tears welled up and began to cascade down his little cheeks, his eyes a more vivid green than ever before as tears glistened within them.

"He is, he hides under the bed, then he sneaks into my head when I go to sleep!" He begged, "please, I can sleep right here, with you, I'll be really really good and quiet!" Harry begged some more. "I promise"

"I know what might make this a bit easier, go get me your wand" He asked, Harry's eyes widened, somehow showing more fear.

"It's in my room!" He cried.

"Go on, straight up, straight down" He smiled, "I promise, nothing will happen" Harry then climbed down and ran as fast as he could. "Lily… He's not sleeping at all now!" he stressed, "This can't be normal?"

"Would you be able to sleep if you believed there was some monster living under your bed?" Remus asked, "And whereas this Dean kid, is a muggle, Harry is far to aware that there are real monsters… he must be petrified" They heard as Harry and made it to his room and was now running back along the landing down stairs. He stopped sharply in front of Severus.

"I think it's already there!" Harry whimpered handing over the wand, Severus muttered a few spells, waving his wet intricately over the little piece of wood.

"Here, now when you get scared, you have something to protect you" He smiled. Harry took the wand and waved it, and a silvery stag erupted from the wand.

"My own tronus" Harry smiled.

"Now you can use that whenever you need, but you need to go to bed and Mrs Figg is reading a story" He said with a note of finality. And Harry didn't question it, but he looked rather forlorn.

"Can I sleep in yours and mummy's room please?" He said chewing his lip nervously

"Sure" he smiled, "I will tuck you into your bed later, and I'll stay with you, ok?" Harry visibly relaxed, he went up stairs with no more issues.

Now that Harry was safely being tucked into bed, the meeting could begin. Not that is began with serious business of course. There were of course the obligatory comments made about recent developments.

"So you won't even hug Remus!" Moody joked, "Shocking!"

"Severus Snape, a dad?" Aberforth interjected, "You're not known for being great with children?"

"Honestly, that child has him wrapped round his little finger!" Remus laughed, Severus glared from the corner he was sat in.

"I think we should get to the matter at hand…" Severus spoke, his voice steely

"And yet Harry wants to delay the meeting to say Hello…" Sirius trailed off smirking, "What Harry wants… Harry gets"

"I am wrapped around nobody's little finger" he retorted, "now if we can move on?"

"Please, Lily has you wrapped round her finger too" Sirius added

"Severus, you are a ridiculous push over where Harry is concerned" She paused, he rolled his eyes, "now if we can get to business!"

"Of course, we have a few bits to cover tonight, Lily has been trying to acquire a significant memory for me?" Albus looked over to her.

"No change there, He cottoned on that you sent me, he clammed right up, I might have been a favourite, but I don't think it's enough, he's not sharing" Her voice stiff, "I told him it was to help Harry, he swore blind there was nothing to add"

"That's a blatant lie, it was obvious he meddled with the memory before giving it to Albus!"

"Severus' not all people deal with guilt for their actions graciously" Albus added looking at the man pointedly

"I think" Severus spoke now, "That you should take Harry with you" She looked at him shocked,

"I am not using Harry like that… how can you even suggest it?"

"Because in the long run, it is for Harry's benefit, he's ashamed, I think you need to guilt him into it, I know its… cruel, but he doesn't seem like he will budge otherwise, it's not particularly righteous, but it will get the job done, and for Harry, its worth it" he spoke matter of factly.

"I will think about it" her lips pursed

"Anyway… Severus, your plan to get the potential Horcrux?"

"I just need to find a way for the replacement 'horcrux' I leave behind to have the same magical signature as the one I take with me, Dark Magical objects emit a kind signature, you tend to be able to feel it and I don't want to have to resort to performing Dark Magic to get it"

Moody eyed Severus, questioningly, "Why?" he asked, not callously, but like there was something he wanted to understand about the man he was being asked to trust, the Aurors seem to find it hardest, mainly cause they are used to catching men like Severus, and it goes against the grain to work with him.

"It's addictive… to use it, I may not go back down that road, and I don't want to… but one doesn't want to tempt fate" He replied cooly.

"And if you need to actively work for Voldemort again?" The entire room flinched, excluding Dumbledore and the reckless Auror.

"My aim is that I never have to, and if I do, don't worry, I won't hesitate to paint my soul black in order to save Harry… I assure you I am willing to anything, I mean anything, to keep him safe" a note of finality shut Moody up, some looked shocked by his words, Lily looked almost frightened and yet it was Moodys expression of respect that caught Severus' attention the most.

"In that case, I can get something, we confiscate a lot of suspect stuff, I will get something low level, not too dangerous, but if you use that for your transfiguration it should retain the aura of Dark Magic?"

"Thank you Alastor" Severus responded, "I believe that would work"

As the meeting continued. They each gave an update on where they were up to. Kingsley had held a raid on the lestrange property but hadn't found anything of note, nothing that might have been the Horcrux that they had been looking for, however they Albus had said that he would look over some of the items just to be sure. There were many dark objects.

Moody had even been to Azkaban and interrogated Bellatrix, but she was insane before she went in, and now, in the presence of the Dementors, she made very little sense. Lily had shared the outline that she had managed to work up of 'You Know Who's' movements since his school days. It would be getting more detailed as Albus traced his movements up until he became notorious. They were about to wrap up when a loud scream could be heard from Harry's bedroom, then hurried running, a slamming door and loud steps hurriedly down the stairs.

Severus had barely stood up when Lily ran to the stairs, Harry was already in her arms sobbing, his hands gripped his head as he cried loud terrified sobs. "It hurts, it hurts"

"Shh, Shh," Lily whispered over and over. The room was silent watching as she soothed the child. Severus walked upstairs. "It's ok now, It was just a bad dream"

"It's in my head mummy, He's in my head!" his grip on her tightened.

"It's ok sweetie, mummy will fix it, it's ok" She whispered, wondering herself how on earth she would be able to fix the problem. Severus was already on his way down.

"Lily, there is nothing up there" his face was anxious.

"He's in my head!" Harry cried, he walked over and held his arms out to Harry, who willingly moved over to him, moving the vice like grip to Severus' neck instead.

"What's in your head Harry?" He asked gently, sitting down, rubbing the small child's back, willing the sobs to subside just a little.

"He hides under my bed, and then he goes in my head and shows me bad things!" Harry breathing now so erratic he was unable to continue through the sobs.

"It's ok," he whispered "I'm here now, I won't let anyone hurt you" he whispered gently, as he whispered over and over again that everything was ok, Harry's sobs subsided a little and his breathing eased somewhat. "Do you know what the monster is?" he asked gently.

"I don't know" He leaned back a little, looking into Severus' eyes, his own eyes were red and puffy from crying, a little snot ran from his nose.

"Tissue?" he asked no body in particular, and Hagrid handed him a handkerchief as big a tea towel. Severus wiped away the tears and snot. "Ok, how do you feel now?" He asked.

"Frightened" Harry replied, tears were still falling, but now he was calm. Severus nodded, understanding.

"Do you know anything about who is giving you bad dreams?" He asked

"He has scary eyes, and he speaks hissy noises" He cried out, and again he was sobbing uncontrollably, Severus pulled Harry to his chest, "He said he was going to hurt me" Harry sobbed. Severus hid the worry from his face, the room was silent. They all sat listening to Harry cry for some time, eventually Severus broke the silence.

"It's ok" Severus whispered, "I'm here now, it's ok"

"There was lots of green… it was everywhere daddy! He wanted to hurt me, he said he's going to get me!" His sobs were uncontrollable again.

"I won't let him Harry, I promise!" He whispered. Cradling Harry he thought about how to find out exactly what was really going on. "Harry, do you trust me?" He asked. Harry sat up, and Severus wiped his face again with the over large handkerchief of Hagrid's. Harry nodded immediately. "Harry, I need to see what he said, what he put in your head, I need to see to know how to stop it, ok?" He paused, watching Harry's face, innocent and trusting, he nodded again. "Now Harry, to do that, I have to look inside here" he pointed to Harry's head. Harry nodded again, "But Harry, that mean's you will see it again, but I will be right there, and I will find a way to stop it" Harry looked fearfully at Severus, Severus' eyes were soft and warm, Harry nodded, but fresh tears ran gently down his cheeks. "Ok, I will be gentle, and you squeeze my hand if it's too hard for you ok, and I will stop right away!" Harry nodded. Severus looked into the little boys eyes and searched.

_Severus touched on Harry's mind, he felt the child tremble as he moved across a series of memories, memories that were dark, he could see they were childishly hidden, around the memories were stored fantasy and story, day dreams that included the man with messy hair and spectacles, a surge of jealousy ran through Severus, but close by he found the memory of a dark and velvety voice, his voice, he found story time and his toy wand was stacked around the dark memories, a childish attempt a hiding them away. He found memories of Lily cuddling and tickling Harry also stacked close by, a small barrier of happy trying to keep the dark at bay. Severus pushed through, finding more, memories of playing on a motorbike with Sirius, Remus playing, his birthday party, slowly his pushed through the barrier until he felt Harry's fear grow, he knew what was coming. There was very little visual in Harry's mind now. There was green, and a voice, it hissed and Severus couldn't understand it, it could almost have been a language, but it was un-discernible to Severus, but the more he listened to the hiss, the more Harry trembled until he squeeze tightly on Severus' hand._

Severus felt the squeeze and back away. He looked in Harry's eyes, seeing just how tortured they were and he had tried to fix it with stories and night lights. "I'm sorry Harry" He held him tightly.

"It hurts" Harry said again, rubbing his head. Within moments Severus was already in the kitchen, Harry still in his arms making a hot chocolate, spiking it with pain relief and a dreamless sleep draught. He managed to hold the sobbing child the entire time, kissing his forehead and whispered just how loved he was, that he would make everything ok.

"It's ok, Daddy will fix it" Severus said confidently as he walked back to the living room, everyone's eyes were still on him, confused and wondering. They sat in his chair, which Albus had vacated, he stood watching Severus father the small child who was slowly being soothed into a more calmed state. It took a little time, more whispers in his ear that Daddy would fix it all, and Harry began to guzzle the hot chocolate, and sure enough he was asleep in his arms within moments of finishing it.

"Severus… what is it?" Lily asked, desperately,

"I have no idea…" He looked confused, "There was nothing to see and the noise I could hear… it was like there was a snake?" He glanced around the room to see a lot of confused faces, though most were not as worried as Lily was, Albus seemed to have a look of realisation, but it passed so quickly he wasn't sure that he had seen it. "Lily we need to stop these dreams… no matter what!"

* * *

The next day, Lily and Alice met up for a coffee and much needed chat. Lily was a mess about Harry, and Alice hadn't been there although they had expected both her and Frank. Clearly there was something going on there. They often met up at the same cafe, The Beacon Coffee Company, where a sweet baker with brown dreadlocks and quirky style made the best cakes. Alice was already there. Large cake and a mug of coffee in front of her, having managed to get the comfy seats in the corner, Lily sank into the chair in despair.

"Oh no, was the meeting that bad?" Alice asked. Lily just shrugged, pulling the coffee Alice had got her towards her.

"Well… not the meeting, just after!" she gulped a huge mouthful of coffee, a small look of relief swept over her face. "What happened to you guys?" she asked, curiously.

"well… Frank isn't happy, doesn't think he is going to come anymore, we argued about that" she paused, guilt swept over her face, "Amongst other things" she added hastily.

"What has he done now?" she asked, irritation in her voice.

"Well, technically, no one has done anything, but Frank isn't happy with how much time I have been spending with… Remus" Alice attempted to look dignified, like she still held the moral high ground.

"Ah" Lily smiled, "I noticed he had hadn't been around so much… spill!"

"It's nothing" she continued, "honestly, we just go out for a coffee, or if I take Neville to the park, he has joined us once of twice. Frank isn't interested in talking, spending time, Remus is, it makes me happy, but there isn't anything going on, we are friends, and I think I deserve a bit of friendship."

"Frank has noticed and isn't happy" Lily mused, "This could be a good thing, it could shake him up, but Alice, _I'm_ your friend, _Remus_ … you guys flirt, its something more, even if you aren't acting on it!"

"I know" she said matter of factly, "But I am stopping myself from crossing the line, and honestly, where does he get of telling me what I am doing wrong in this wreck of a marriage… he stopped trying over 2 years ago… when _we both_ were tortured, not just him as he so likes to believe, he isn't the man I promised to be faithful to anymore" Her voice ended with a note of frustrated anger.

"So, you know you're wrong, but he was wrong first, and that's your rationalisation?"

"Sort of… except, I have kept the boundaries between me and Remus clear, we have done nothing that normal friends don't do!" she added, irritated now.

"I know, you have _done_ nothing, but the feelings are there, and that hurts Franks just as much as if you had" Lily added with a sad smile, "Trust me, I get it, but if you want me to justify it for you, I won't, I will only tell you the truth"

"I know… that's why I'm eating my feelings"

"They look delicious" smiled Lily, "Apart from being hurt, how is Frank?"

"Well he's spiralling, drinking, angry or sleeping most of the time, he said there is no hope, I told him that you and Severus have been looking into it, and whilst it was probably more of a hinderance, Remus told Frank about the progress that Sev made with the Wolfsbane Potion, he meant for him to see that there is some hope, but he almost attacked Remus, luckily he was inebriated, therefore his aim was poor"

"You think if I had an idea… something solid, like an actual process that we were researching, that might help, even if it couldn't happen right away… do you think that it would help?" Alice looked up, a spark of hope in her eyes,

"Lily" She gasped, "You have no idea, anything… please!"

"Alice… please understand, its not a definite thing, it's a theory that Severus will not act on until he is sure, and even then, we don't know it will do anything yet!"

"Lily, I understand, but I am desperate, anything to pull him out of this, please tell me"

"Ok" her heart sank, "Severus, he really doesn't want me to tell you yet, you know, after Remus' bad transformation, but I think a bit of hope would do you some good, I would hate it if you two ended things because of something that may have been fixed" She paused, but the weight on her was almost visible in her demeanour alone. "The potions that Frank is taking, we may be able to mix something more concentrate, but use them whilst he is in a induced, magical coma, they could have much more of an effect in that state… but there are risks"

"Oh Lily, thank you!" She smiled, tears pouring down her cheeks, "I will tell frank, but I promise I will make sure he knows its all theory right now, but you're both working on it! It will help so much!" with that Alice relaxed, noticeably. Lily guzzled her coffee, nowhere near as at ease.

"Well, I have a note here with everything that happened in the meeting, you know, not supposed to discuss outdoors,"

"What happened at the end, you look exhausted,"

"Harry's dreams, you know the 'monster under the bed'" Alice nodded, "Well… it's got way out of hand" her voice trembled, "He's not sleeping at all, he's waking at all hours, a voice saying he wants to hurt him!" her voice trembled, "He cries and begs not to go to bed, he stays awake all night, he wont sleep in his own room!" Tears fell from her eyes, finally off loading the burden that she had come with.

"Poor Harry!" her voice low, somber, "Is there anything you can do to stop it?" Lily wiped away the tears and took a deep breath.

"We were up all night looking for a spell to stop nightmares, but nothing is working, aside from potions…"

"Did you find anything?" She tried to look hopeful, but the look on her face said the opposite.

"Nothing, Severus thinks his skills at occlumency can protect Harry when he is here, That maybe that's why he feels safest with Severus, but that creates a huge problem when he is at Hogwarts." She paused, "He's going to start teaching him Occlumency techniques, but he's four! He wonders if learning so young will make him better at it, he has less bad habits to break in his thinking… I don't know"

"Lily, I can't imagine what you and Severus feeling, I think feeling helpless as a parent is the worst feeling in the world" She paused, "Did Albus say anything?" Lily shook her head,

"He just deferred to Sev, and he seemed very, pensieve, but Sev is focused on it, there's just too much going on right now" The rest of the afternoon was spent consoling Lily and discussing how Harry had been feeling. And Lily and Alice discussed ways to get to Slughorn, Alice joked that she would no longer have any pull, not being classed as skilled anymore.

* * *

Sirius and Severus' relationship was slowly mending, but with the resentment still present at the new found friendship between Severus and Remus, Sirius found solace in a new sidekick. The friendship was fast forming over his year at Hogwarts and had steadily grown over the summer. They would meet in Hogsmeade, Diagon Alley, just to go out for a drink and a catch-up. It was not that Sirius had a great deal in common with him, Quirrell was by no means a James or a Remus, he was, in fact, filling a different hole, the hole that Peter had left. There was something about Sirius that unknowingly loved to have someone following him. He was still a young man and had not matured as much as Remus, who was by far much more level-headed than the rest of the marauders in Hogwarts, and now, again he was more sensible still. Though he had their boyish sense of humour, as seen in the whoopee cushion incident. It was on one of these outings at the Leaky Cauldron one evening that Sirius and Quirrell found themselves, drinking too much and talking too much.

"does the order know what's keeping him alive then?" Quirrell asked in earnest, a little louder than wise in this pub, but this is what the lubrication of mead does.

"Well" He whispers, a drunk whisper, not so quiet. "We don't know but you know… we have a .. hunch!" He smiles, "And let's just say Dumbledore's hunches are rarely wrong!" he winks.

"I assume you plan to confirm?" Quirrell asked as he downed the rest of a large tanker of mead. "I mean… once you confirm… you act! And you strike down!" His voice was getting louder, Sirius smacked the man on the shoulder, hushing him. "OH yes… hush … very secret… Sorry friends… this is a secret conversation!" He giggled. Sirius laughed along with him now.

"Tom!" Sirius shouted the barman, "I believe me and Quirrell are running dry!" with that he chugged what he had left also. It wasn't long before Tom provided even more mead.

"Anyway… I think its amazing and brave! TRUE GRYFFINDOR!" He shouted, standing up he pointed at Sirius, "THIS IS A BRAVE MAN! SIRUS BLACK- hiccup - BRAE GRYFFINDOR!"

"Stop it Quirrell… you are too kind!" He smiled and began the latest drink. "Wise Scholar here!" He pointed half-heartedly.

"Well, I have decided I am going to study… I am going to be a Dark Arts Against the Defence Professor!" he said wisely. "I am planning a trip for a few years! I am going to get real on hands esperiance" He slurred, his words jumbled

"You would be the second best Dee Aaa Dee Aaa Professor ever!" he over pronounced the letters, "After me course, I was… septional!" He slurred some more, "Where are you going on this…" he paused and looked into the distance, an arm in front of him as though surveying a vast landscape, "QUEST!" He finished dramatically

"I'm going to EUROPE!" He bellowed, "And I will go all over, France, Germany, Bulgaria, Italy, I will even face the dark forests of Albania!" Sirius' head snapped up.

"Albania… that reminds me… something" He said then confused he drank more mead.

"It reminds me your cup is lacking! TOM! ALE!" he shouted, despite Sirius tankard not even being half empty, and he had not even made a dint in his.

"DON'T GO TO ALBANIA!" Sirius shouted, then he leaned forward to Quirrell, "shh, shh, its a secret!" He continued, "You can't go… You Know Who, that one" He nodded his voice still low, "He's in Albania! shh!" He hit Quirrell who hadn't said a thing, "Its a secret Quirrell, be quiet!"

"Shh yourself!" Quirrell whispered back, "He's really there?"

"Yea… don't go Albania… dangerous" The drinking continued, they got more and more drunk if possible. Planning the trip that Quirrell would make, and though Sirius would not remember they planned Quirrell's venture into the dark Albanian forest, and his foolish attempt to take on the Dark Lord himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, please comment and kudos!


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